Never Say Never
by Witchyprincess
Summary: TP They say never say what you wouldn't do; but they've never been in love with you...COMPLETE!
1. Just Smile

  
Discalimer: I don't own these characters, if I did it wouldn't be fan fiction…

  
Long A/N: So, this story is the apple of my eye. No, but it has occupied all of my writing time (what little I find myself with these days) and I'm sorry for you guys who are looking for a sequel to First Kisses. I started one, but then I didn't like it so I'm going to start all new. But I have to make myself want to first, so sorry. If you don't know what that is, never mind it.   
This story is a Trunks and Pan fic (even though you won't believe it in the beginning) and it's the most realistic one I've ever started to write. They're 14 years apart, accurately and I'm quite amazed that I had the nerve. Anyway, I believe my plot is original, or at least I haven't read a T/P that happened like mine is going to…so stick with me, please. Wow, that was long, without farther a-due:

Smile when your heart is breaking

She pulled her legs up, curling in a fetal position, and resting her back against the door. Her body shook as she sighed and sniffed as quietly as possible, letting the tears trickle down her eyes, across the sides of her face. They dropped and hit the carpet with a soft 'pat', a repeated tapping sound as she continued to sob and shake. 

Her room was as dark as her heart. And just as empty. Not even the moon shone in through her blinds as she gave in to her body's need to fall apart. A sob slipped out of her throat, past her mouth, and resembled a wounded dog. Her head beat softly across the door as she heard her father's footsteps padding up the stairs, towards her room.

Her heartbeat quickened as she gripped her midnight strands thickly in her hands, yanking softly. She hoped that once, just once, he would walk by and pretend like he didn't know anything was wrong. She heard his feet stop at her door, heard his clothes wrestle as she was sure he lifted his arm. Okay, the knock would come next. Then he would be asking her if she was all right. And what would she say? Would she even be able to respond? 

Silent tears poured down her face as she waited for his hand to rest on her door. Waited for the knock to disrupt her misery. But it never came. She heard her father's clothes rustle again and then his descending footsteps as he walked back down the stairs. She sighed, but knowing that he wasn't going to rescue her, somehow left her even more empty. She curled up more, if the motion was possible, and shoved her hand inside her mouth to keep the whimper from escaping this time. She was utterly alone. 

For years she'd been whining about why no one ever let her grow up. And now, here she was, grown. And they were treating her as such. Both her parents knew she was cowering in her room, weeping like a spoiled child that couldn't get the newest model of the best toy. But they were no where in sight. Not even asking her if she needed anything. Not even asking her what was wrong. They surely didn't know. No one knew. 

She'd been the first person he told. The special honor of being his 'best friend'. She'd been the very fist soul, that wasn't apart of it, to hear the news. Not even his parents knew yet and that said something. It said he trusted her. Respected her. Cared about her. But he didn't love _her_. She was everything that one person could be to another, for him, everything except that one. She was his best friend, his confidant, his soul. But she wasn't his love. She wasn't his 'soul _mate_'. She never would be now. 

No matter how long she told herself that things might work out. No matter how long she trusted herself with the knowledge that she was still hopelessly in love with him and hoping he'd open his eyes. No matter how many times she pretended one day he would come around. He never would. Things would never be the way she wanted them to be. 

He was lost to her forever. She would never be more than his little brother. Because he always saw her as a tomboy. Always saw her as a little kid. And she would never graduate in his eyes. She would never be that kind of beautiful in his eyes. Would never be looked at as anything more than a good friend. A confidant. The other half of his soul. But he'd never admit that last part. Ever. 

She sobbed one last time and then sat up. Uncurling her body and thinking what Vegita would think if he could see her now. Wiping her eyes, she forced her weak body up, her knees shaky while she moved, and pushed herself to walk over to her bed. She pulled the covers back and lay there. All night, looking up at the ceiling, the tears still falling steady, until finally, her eyes cried dry. Nothing else would come out. And the sun was cascading on her face, telling her it was time for the day to begin again. Time to shove her fears and insecurities away. Time to forget that her heart was broken, suck it up and be the Pan that she knew she could be. She was stronger than this, better than this. And she wasn't going to mope around anymore. 

*

"Bulma, I understand. But-….yes…I'm aware…Life altering?…Really?…Well I'll be sure to-…I think he has a free schedule. Yes…yes…._Bulma_!" Videl finally bellowed with exasperation. "Will you _please, please_ let me _talk_." Pan watched, curious, as her mother heaved a heavy sigh and listened as Bulma responded. Pan fought back the frustration in her face, trying hard not to let it show. She knew why Bulma was calling. Knew what the whole conversation was about. _Life altering news. _Pan scoffed. 

"Now, I don't know if Pan is busy or not. But I can assure you that Goten and I aren-…_Bulma_! You cut me off again." Pan tried not to laugh as her mother frowned, her nose flaring in and out in frustration. Then she realized what her mother had just said and sheer panic reeked through every inch of her body. Crept through every crevice of her small frame. Surely they weren't discussing what she thought they were discussing. 

She vigorously shook her head, silently telling her mother that she couldn't make it. Videl caught the look but only continued to look flustered as she conversed with Bulma.

"As I was saying," She started again, haughtily. "I don't know if Pan's busy. But Goten and I will be there. Oh, here Panny is, I think she has plans." She added in as causally as she could and Pan heaved a sigh of relief. She just couldn't face it today, and was highly glad her mother was willing to get her out of it. But Bulma didn't seem to give up. The phone call wasn't over. Her mother wasn't hanging up. 

"What?" Videl asked, seemingly startled. "Important to Trunks?…Well…" Pan watched in sheer horror as her mother gazed uneasily at her. Obviously about to cave. Pan put pleading into her face, shaking her head even more and crossing her arms. She wasn't going to go. There was no way; even _if_ hell froze over, Bra saved the world, and penguins learned how to fly. She wasn't showing up to hear their 'life altering' news. 

"I'm sure she can clear her schedule." Her mother finally finished, all too eager to hang up the phone. Her mother gave her the best sorry look she could muster, but Pan had turned away from her. The second Videl clicked off the phone Pan began to yell. 

"I'm not going mum! I'm not in the mood for one of Bulma's last second get-togethers. I don't care what you say." She threw her arms up in protest, pacing the kitchen floor with a wild look about her eyes. Videl unconsciously took a step back from her daughter before challenging her. 

"_She _says it's important." Videl countered but Pan didn't waver. 

"I don't care." Pan stated flatly, shaking her head. "She _always_ says it's important." Pan rolled her eyes, feeling the familiar sting that had been there all last night and part of this morning. She wasn't going. They couldn't make her go. She was twenty-one for Dende's sake. They couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do. 

"She says it would be really important. To…_Trunks_." Her mother lifted her eyebrows suggestively, knowing her daughter's weak spot. But it wasn't working this time. Not this time. No one was going to use Trunks as an excuse to get their way. Just because her heart belonged to him in every aspect of the word 'belong'. 

"I don't care. I don't feel well. Not well enough for one of her social gatherings." Pan thought quickly, using the first thing that came into grasp. It wasn't a lie after all. She didn't feel well. She didn't care if her being there meant the world to Trunks. But that wasn't the reason she didn't want to go. No, not at all. She would have sucked up anything that was wrong with her to spend an hour or two in the same enclosed area as Trunks, him not being able to use work as an excuse to get away. Her mother must have known that too, for she gave Pan a weary but disbelieving look. 

"What's wrong, Panny? Something happened, didn't it? Do you want to talk about it? Are you all right?" Pan laughed, despite herself. Despite the fact that her heart was fluttering at that very second, the second of her mother mentioning 'something' happening. Yes, something had happened. Something that would change her heart forever. Something that had forced her to grow into all of her twenty and some odd years in just one night. Something that forced her to shove her childhood dreams aside and forget any hopes or games that she used to play. Forget that she was normally immature and goofy. She never would be again. Something had turned her cold and solemn over night. Was she all right? Did something happen? What a crock. 

"Mother," Pan spoke, a slight smile pressed to her lips. It was a false smile. One of those forced ones you gave when people asked you if you were 'fine' and you were really torn apart. But you didn't want sympathy and they really didn't want to know. So you smiled, though your heart were breaking and you felt like crying. You smiled despite the worst. "Please, ask one question, wait for a response, and _then_ precede to the next." She chuckled slightly, but even the air was mocking her. Even the air could tell that laugh was just as forced as the smile she'd plastered on her face. 

Her mother gave a concerned stare, her lips upturning in a displeased sort of frown. "Pan, are you all right?" Videl questioned cautiously. 

"Never been better." Pan answered bitterly, gritting her teeth as she said it and tilting her head to the side with fake, sarcastic cheer. 

"In that case," Her mother answered shortly, nearly uncouth. "You won't mind going to the party tonight." Pan opened her mouth in protest but she knew she'd lost. From the look on her mother's face she knew she'd crossed the line when she stood there and mocked her concern, feeding her instead, with sarcasm. Pan was going to have to go. 

"Damn." She muttered rolling her eyes and fighting back the tears that were so close to trickling out of her eyes and past her cheeks. At least then her mother might take pity on her. No, not until finding out what was wrong. And Pan would never tell her. Never admit the reason her heart had been torn apart. She was going.

"It's formal." Her mother called after her as she angrily marched back up the stairs to her room. "So don't forget to put on a _dress_." Pan scoffed loudly and slammed her door. 

*

"Hurry up, Pan!" She heard her mother yelling as she slowly trudged down the stairs. What for? She wasn't in a hurry to hear their damn news. She didn't want to see the look of surprise on everyone's faces. She didn't want to hear all the congratulations, and she didn't want to be apart of giving them. She scrunched her nose as she made it past the last step and Videl sighed. 

"It took you long enough. We're running la-" Videl paused, letting her eyes run over Pan with distaste. Her lips were curled in a fashion that let Pan read every expression clearly on her face. And this wasn't good. Wasn't good at all. 

"Pan Son!" Her father angrily chimed in, getting a look at his daughter and sighing. "I believe your mother told you to wear a _dress_." He uplifted his eyebrows in anger. 

But Pan didn't care. Wear a dress for what? One of Bulma's announcement parties? To make _Trunks_ happy? Hah. She'd spent her whole life trying to_ make Trunks happy_. She could care less if this ruined the night for him. If he didn't want her to come as she was, he shouldn't have wanted her there at all. And her parents, they knew she didn't want to go. Knew she wasn't feeling the best. Knew something was wrong. Why couldn't they just be glad she'd come traveling down those stairs at all? She counter sighed and tilted her head, giving the best I-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-what-I'm-wearing look. 

"Go change." Her mother ordered sternly, but Pan crossed her arms and shifted all of her weight to one foot, giving a defiant face. 

"No thanks." She answered, just as stern. She was wearing a black baseball style button-up shirt that had white strips and red lettering on it and was three sizes too big. It wasn't buttoned at all. Underneath was a white tee that clung to her body and showed the bottom half of her stomach. She had on sporty sweat pants, black and gray, that molded to her skin and flared out at the bottom, and on her head was a black, red, and white hat turned backwards and covering the hair that was falling past her shoulders. Her shoes matched the ensemble well, brining out all the colors of red, gray, black, and white. No one could say she hadn't turned her tomboy look into a fashion. She really looked adorable. But it more of the I'm-staying-home-tonight-and-watching-the-game kind of adorable. Not the kind that said I-have-a-big-expensive-party-to-go-to adorable. 

"I mean it Pan." Her mother narrowed her eyes, glancing at her silver watch. "Change into a dress, we'll meet you there. You've got ten minutes." 

"But if you leave me what makes you think I'll come at all?" She smirked, proving her point to her mother. If they did leave, she certainly wouldn't come. There was no way they could make her. She didn't care what kind of trouble she got into. 

"I'll have your father break your neck if you don't. But not enough to kill you. Then we'll wait 'till you heal before we hurt you again." Her mother smirked, planning to uphold her promise. Pan gulped and wavered for a second, thinking hard on what to do, but deciding not to change her mind. 

"Fine. Grandpa has survived worst. I have part of his blood in me." She shrugged and sat down on the couch, happy to have gotten out of the nights' events. 

"Pan!" Her mother shot, warning her not to get comfortable. "Change. Now. Go." 

"I'm going like this, or I'm not going." She leaned in, reaching for the coffee table, trying to get a hold of the remote. Her mother moved quick, smacking her hand. 

"Fine! If you want to go looking like a rag-a-muffin, go ahead. You won't embarrass me, we'll pretend we don't know you." 

"I'm going to run after you with a snotty nose, yelling 'mommy why'd you leave me in the car!'." Pan chuckled at herself as she slowly stood from the couch, glancing at her father who was clenching his fists in and out. He wanted to say something, but he knew his precious daughter had been crying all last night, he didn't want to upset her more. So, she wanted to go to a party and make a fool of herself. Fine. He really didn't want to go either, he couldn't say he blamed her. 

"That wasn't funny, Pan." Was all he said, and more of a side thought than a reprimand. 

They made their way to the door, Pan rubbing her hands on her sweats every now and then. They were sweaty, clammy from the nervousness. She didn't want to face what she was in for tonight. Didn't want to deal with all the overly-happy faces. Hers would be the only stale one in the crowd. The only one that wasn't pleased to hear the news. She would be the only one that wanted to cry but couldn't. Because she had to match their brave face with her inside emotions, at least long enough to pretend to be happy. 

This might very well be the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life. Discounting the time her uncle Goten got his hand jammed in the peanut butter and she had to help him get it out. He was wailing and crying like a four year old. You'd think he wasn't saiyan… ("Why don't you just blast the thing off?" "No, no, my hand will blow with it!") …But then again, if it was for the peanut butter, you'd know he was. 

Before she knew what was even happening, her father was parking the car. She didn't even remember stepping in their car, much less getting here already. Why did time have to speed up when it was apparent that you were dreading something? Why did it have to get here sooner because you didn't want the time to pass at all? She sighed, her face visibly paling two shades as her father opened her door so she could get out. 

"Are you okay, Panny?" Gohan asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nodded, shoving the hand off, and trying to get the blood to go back into her face. She wasn't going to look terrible in front of them. It was already bad enough. She knew her eyes were slightly pink and puffy from all the crying that she'd done last night. And she knew there were bags under them along with a dark, shaded color, because she hadn't slept at all. Then, she'd be the only one there not in formal attire. That was her fault, but hey, she had to slap Trunks in the face one way or another. 

And when they announced the news to everybody she was sure her face would pale another two or three shades. But she'd force a smile onto her face. If it killed her, and forced the porcelain, that her body seemed to be made out of these days, to crack at the surface. Maybe she'd even be able to wish him well….hah. Well, there was always some hope. No, not really. Not in this case. This was the only time in her life where she'd felt completely and utterly hopeless. This was it. She decided that she wanted to become a nun. That way she wouldn't have to go through this ever again. 

She was surprised to look up and find that she was actually standing in Bulma's 'big room'. It was where everyone gathered for parties and big meetings and such. Punch was laid out on one table. The other was filled with a variety of meats and vegetables. Already she could see her uncle, camped out at the table with three plates stacked to the top. And Vegita, standing in the corner with a scowl deeper than usual on his face, arms crossed. Perhaps, she wasn't the only one unhappy about this 'news' tonight? And Bra, sitting on the couch with Ubuu chatting away happily. He looked semi-bored, but she kept tapping his face, pulling his eyes back into her own so he would pay attention. Poor boy, didn't know what he was getting himself into when he asked her out that first time. Next to them was Eighteen and Krillin, both looked content, silently waiting for something to happen. 

Pan turned her head, hearing the door click once again. Yamcha came strolling in, Launch close behind. She couldn't help but roll her eyes to the top of her head. Launch even scared _her_ sometimes. That seemed to be the last of them, because Bulma clasped her hands together and moved to the center of the room. She looked around, no doubt head counting, and let her eyes linger on Pan for longer than was necessary. Delight and displeasure were written all over her face. 

Everyone turned to look, even Master Roshi, who'd just walked back into the room a beer in hand. And then she felt their eyes, sitting closely to where Bulma was standing, Trunks and…_her_. Pan sighed, smiled at the curious crowd of people, no doubt wondering how she could even think to wear that outfit in _Bulma's _house, and sat down in the closest chair. She glanced at Vegita, who quickly averted his eyes. He'd been staring at her too, but the look on his face was nothing near what everyone else was harboring. He was actually thinking something _nice_ about her. Whatever it was. She could tell because he was quick to turn away. And this was the perfect opportunity for him to scoff and mock at her. Even he wasn't in his training gi. 

She sighed again and turned back to the center of the room. Back to Trunks. And _her_. Trunks was still staring, with a mixture of envy and hurt in his face. She knew what he was thinking. Always knew what he was thinking. He wanted to know why she would wear something like that here, _now_. When she knew this moment was important to him. When she knew this moment would never happen again. But he was also envious, because he wasn't wearing it. And it indisputably looked comfortable. She let a small smirk graze her lips, a tell-tell sign that she was either mocking him or angry, and he looked away quickly. 

"Now that everyone's here," Bulma began, a bubbly air about her. It was unusually happy though, and most of the people in the room caught it. Yamcha, Launch, Gohan, and Videl were looking around with confusion. What could Bulma be so happy about? Even Goten paused in his mouth stuffing to listen to this one. "There's something very important I'd like you all to know…well some of you already know." She gave a quick look to the couch that Bra was sitting on. Bra giggled slightly and put full attention to the center of the room. 

Bulma resumed again. "Well-" Then she paused, seemingly too excited to keep going. "Oh!" She exclaimed, her eyes filled with tears. Pan felt her nostrils flare and she had to keep her ki from raging higher than it had ever been. She forced herself to calm down quickly. "I just _can't_." Bulma concluded and sat down, looking to Trunks for help. 

He chuckled and stood up, taking his mother's spot on the floor. He looked around the room, searching for his comfort zone. It was something Trunks always did when he spoke in public. No matter who he was talking to, no matter how long he'd known them. He'd search the people to find the one face that made him more comfortable than any other, and focus completely on that one face. He usually chose the same person time and time again. And, just as usual, his eyes stopped completely on Pan. He breathed and resumed his mother's speech. 

"You see," He started, feeling uneasy by the death glare Pan was trying her best not to send to him. He gave a short thought about switching his comfort zone to someone who looked more…friendly, but couldn't find a face among him that he was more comfortable with. "I've decided to finally take all of my mother's yelping and complaining to heed. Well, part of it at least." He gave a small chuckle, staring intently into Pan's eyes. Everyone found themselves diverting their attention from him to Pan, wondering what was going on. She ignored them, turning her gaze from Trunks and looking at the carpet as if it were a new invention of Bulma's. 

Trunks didn't know what to do. She'd never broken eye contact before. He suddenly became aware of all the eyes on him again and found himself shaking slightly. This was stupid, though. He made speeches in front of tons of people all the time. People he didn't know and had no clue about. At least these people were his friends and family. All he had to do was just find another comfort zone. 

As Pan looked up again, she saw Trunks had averted his standing position, he was now facing _her_. His eyes were locked with _hers_. And _she_ was grinning stupidly. Okay, so maybe it wasn't stupidly. Maybe Pan was just biased. Maybe it was the most gorgeous smile Pan had ever seen grace someone's lips. Maybe she _was_ breathtaking, but that didn't help Pan with her self esteem. So, in Pan's eyes, she was grinning _stupidly_. 

"Trunks and I are going to get married. We're-" 

"We're engaged." Trunks finished for her. Pan let her head drop into her hands shaking from side to side. Willing herself not to let the tears fall. This was it, the formal announcement. This was the turning point of Pan's life. And Trunks'. And…_hers_. This was the beginning of the end. 

It was true. And hearing it phrased that way only made her want to blow up the world. They were 'going to get married'. She upturned her face into a frown, glad her hands were covering it. They were 'engaged'. She rolled her eyes, glad that the mocking was easing some of the blow. At least now she could remove her hands. At least now she could smile like she'd planned to when she first walked in the door. 

She became aware that Trunks was staring at her intently, as well as Vegita, and her parents. Hell, the majority of the room. She was the only one that hadn't cheered when they said it (besides Vegita). She was the only one that didn't look pleased now. No, that wasn't true. Goten was working hard at stuffing a hamburger in his mouth, his cheeks were pale but she couldn't say that he looked very different. 

They probably just thought she was shocked, and as she pulled her head out of her hands, they could see she wasn't crying. So most of their gazes averted. But Trunks' didn't. He knew she wasn't shocked. He'd told her first. The very first person to know. And Vegita, he was still looking, from his brat back to Pan. Disappointment and disapproval in his eyes. What was that about? 

Pan didn't even give herself time to consider. Trunks was walking over to her and all she wanted to do was get out of there. She didn't want to talk to him. She bit her bottom lip and looked for an escape route. She turned, attempting to walk to her mother, but Trunks was already there and he caught the tip of her elbow. 

"Are you doing okay, Panny?" He asked, a gentle tone to his voice, curiously concerned.

"I'm fine Boxer-boy." She spoke playfully, giving him her best impression of a 'happy' smile. He didn't buy. He knew her better than she knew herself…most of the time. He didn't know she was madly in love with him. Well…if he did know then he adamantly denied it in his head. He didn't know that her heart was broken because of him. And that yesterday he'd changed her forever. She wasn't Panny anymore. She wasn't the same little girl she had been. She'd gotten her first real dose of reality and she didn't like it one bit. 

"Really? Cause Goten said that you weren't feeling well yesterday when he stopped by to visit." Damn Goten. Telling on her. Just because she'd locked herself in her room yesterday and refused to see _anyone_. Just because he was usually the one she ran to when her heart was broken. Now he had to go and tell her problem that there was a problem. 

"Yeah. I was a little….under the weather. But…You know, I don't feel that well still. I really should be going." She pulled her arm from him and turned around, making determined steps to her mother. 

"But Pan…" He let his voice die down. Realizing that she wasn't going to change her mind. But he was going to find out what was bothering her. Sooner or later. She couldn't run forever. 

"Oh, Trunks. Congratulations. I know you and Maz will be really happy together." She had to roll her eyes to the top of her head, keeping the tears planted there. For now at least. Freezing them to the top of her head so that when she stepped outside they could fall. Her throat was choking as she squeezed the words out. But she forced herself to continue anyway. "You deserve the best." It was softer, but just the same she knew he'd heard it. Knew he'd understand it, even if his conscious mind wasn't willing to accept the real meaning behind it. Her mouth had said 'you deserve the best' but what it had meant was, 'you deserver _better_'. Dende, why couldn't he see that no one would ever love him more than she did?

"Thanks Panny. Maz is the best, you know." Yeah, there he was, doing what she thought he would. Rejecting what she'd said to him, pretending she hadn't meant it the way she'd meant it. She only nodded and walked over to her mother. 

"Can you hand me the capsule to my car? I know you have it." She shot out as quickly as possible, she didn't want to break down in here. 

"You're not leaving yet, Pan." Her mother stated without looking at her. 

"Yes. I am." She was being terse without meaning to be. 

"Well then, you'll have to fly. I don't want you to leave yet." Her mother had this 'I'm-really-pissed-at-you' look on her face. But Pan didn't care. 

"Fine." She shrugged and walked past the 'big room' and out the door. Not bothering to make excuses. Trunks knew she was leaving. Deep down he knew why. That's all that counted. 

That and the fact that he was marrying Marron. Her worse nightmare come true. One of her best friends and childhood playmates. One she thought would never stab her in the back. Of course, the girl didn't know she was screwing Pan. The girl didn't know Pan loved her fiancé more than she ever could. The girl didn't know Pan would cry herself to sleep for the rest of her life because of it. So she couldn't really be blamed. It wasn't her fault she was beautiful and Trunks found her irresistible. Pan would just have to learn how to smile. Even though she was dying.

A/N: I hope you don't hate the first chapter too much. Stick with me. Reply, let me know what you think (I have to request constructive criticism only, not outright flames. And if you do flame me I will use it to roast marshmallows, just warning ya). I'm going to update on Saturdays and Wednesdays as a plan, but I can't promise (and I'm not updating this Saturday…cause it's Friday right now and…just no…). But come back again when I do update, please! Even if you don't comment (though I wish you would -begs-) ^-^


	2. Lady Luck

  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, stop badgering me already!  
A/N: I'm amazed at the feedback I've gotten from you guys. Very surprised you haven't forgotten me. ^-^ Thank you so much for leaving such wonderful comments, I'm honored, really. Now, I haven't read through this chapter to edit it, so if you see a lot of blatant errors, know it's because I wanted you to have your update on time. Don't yell. Anyway, as promised, here's your Wednesday update:

Lady Luck

A week had passed and still, no word from Pan. Trunks drummed his fingers on his desk, looking dispersedly down at the papers before him. He didn't want to have to deal with this right now. He had other things on his mind. Like his best friend. She was avoiding him. And she knew he couldn't make logical decisions without her. She knew that he had to have her opinion on nearly everything, from the type of cereal he should have for breakfast depending on what kind of day he was going to have, right down to which contract he should pass over and which he should consider. 

Millions of dollars lay in the balance of her picking number three or four. And she wasn't around to be his good luck charm. Maybe he would ask Maz. She was good luck. But she was at work, undoubtedly staring down at some scientific equation and trying to figure out it's workings. She was a scientific genius. Unfortunately, genius' weren't very lucky when it came to things like 'pick a number'. She'd probably make him go through a million reasons as to why she had to 'pick a number' and then what the number was good for. And by the time he got that far he'd have been better off picking a contract himself. 

"Damn it, Pan. Millions of dollars." He placed his head in his hands and sighed dejectedly. Maybe he'd call her up. All he wanted to know was three or four. That wasn't too hard, right? It was a shame, president of Capsule, thirty-five, and he couldn't decide on which contract was more logical for his own company. All the damn guide books he'd read, business courses he'd taken, and hands on experience, and he still relied on a young woman to tell him which random number she liked better, that he threw out at her.

Not to mention his sorry excuse for breakfast this morning. Apple Jacks. What did that say about his mood? About his day? He didn't know, because Pan wasn't there to consult. What the fates had in store for him, he had no clue. If his mother was going to come barging into his office, he wasn't sure…no, he was sure. She worked a floor below him and she was probably on her way now. Wondering if he had decided between Fluerworks and Conels. But he hadn't, and if he was ever going to he'd have to call Pan. He'd have to know. Three or four! It was pathetic. 

Slowly he forced his face out of his hands and curved his fingers around the phone. He picked it up and swallowed, wondering if she was going to be kind enough to answer his call. Wondering if she was going to tell him what he wanted to know, or hang up…run away. Like she had been doing so far, avoiding him. Not exactly just hanging up, more like making excuses to get away. ("I have sociology study, Trunks. I have to go." "I have to help mum and grand-mum with the cooking." "I'm just…I'm busy. Bye.") Sure she was busy, busy ignoring him. He didn't even know what he'd done wrong. 

His hand was dialing the numbers before he knew what was happening. She'd picked up and he breathed a sigh of relief. Yesterday he'd called five times, each time it rang until he got the machine. He left messages too, needless to say, they weren't returned yet. 

"Three or four, Pan?" He scratched his head, hoping she wasn't going to avoid the question. 

"Seven." He could nearly see her rolling her eyes through the phone. He felt his mother's ki, vast approaching. He really needed her to pick one. 

"Really, _three or four_?" He nearly pleaded as he heard his secretary direct his mother in. 

"You're a grown boy, Trunks. You decide for yourself. Ever think of that?" She sighed and he winced, knowing she was going to hang up. 

"Wait, Pan!" He called, frantic for anything that could help.

"What do you want?" She challenged, haughty in her response. He shivered. 

"What did I do wrong?" 

"Four, Trunks." And then he heard the dial tone. 

"Mother fu-" His door had swung open and there his mother was, glaring with unwavering eyes. Her hands were on her hips and she was twitching in the right corner of her lip. She obviously came for blood. "Er…_fu_nny you should show up…I've just decided on Conels." He wiped his brow, sweat prickling more and more by the second, and handed her the file, quickly signing the contract. 

"Well it's about time, mister!" She panted, snatching the file from his hands. "If you'd have chosen Fluerworks I might have fired you on the spot!" She smiled and Trunks felt his stomach lurch. Good old Panny, she'd done it again. Good thing he hadn't called Maz, her favorite number was three…

"What did _you _think was so wrong with Fluerworks?" He asked, careful to emphasize the 'you' so that she'd think he felt there was something wrong too. 

"Oh, well the fine print there," She licked her finger and swiftly pushed open the manila folder. Her thumb pressed on some tiny lettering right on the very top, and smudged the black print as she ran it across. "It leaves a loophole, so if something should go wrong…according to _their _standards, they could get out without paying us back. That's what you spotted? Or was there something else?"

"Oh, no. That was it, I threw it aside the second I read those first few lines. If there's something else wrong…I wouldn't know…" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

"Then why'd it take you so long to decide. You had Conels out there about to loose his pants." She was shooting daggers at him as if he'd done it for a practical joke. Was it his fault he was just a little slow? 

"Er…I had to read through every inch of Conels' report. You know, make sure they weren't trying to pull the same thing. Wouldn't want our company to make such a stupid mistake." He sighed with relief, again thanking the young girl that seemed to hate his guts at the moment. He'd missed all of that fine print, hated reading small letters unless he _had _to. Not to mention, his mother had reviewed every single report. Why did she have to make him decide it for himself if she was just going to tell him which to choose? 

He knew what she would say, "Trunks, I'm preparing you for the day when I'm not here to coach you. Your sister understands these things, why can't you?" Why didn't she give Bra the company then? No, Bra was too flighty to work at Capsule Corps. Maybe she'd settle down one day, but her head was too light to settle on just one thing. He chuckled softly as his mother nodded her head, accepting his explanation. 

"Well, as long as you were being careful." She nodded, happily walking out of the room with the report folded under her arms. He was shaking his head as she left, knowing that he could have told her anything and she wouldn't have cared. His news about his marriage to Maz kept his mother so pacified she didn't care what he did or didn't do. He didn't have to go to work quite so often this last week, or stay quite so late. He didn't have half as much work. She was absolutely spoiling him. And he surely didn't mind. 

He picked up the phone again, hitting the redial button once he was sure his mother was gone. (She wouldn't like the idea of him getting his crucial business decisions from a game of luck with Pan.) The phone only rang twice before the girls' voice filled the empty space with pleasantness. Even though she was clearly peeved, she still sounded lovely on the telephone. 

"Well?" She began, not so much as a 'hello', waiting for him to tell her the outcome. 

"How did you know it was me?" She didn't answer for a long time and he bet she was trying to send him death glares through the telephone. One of those 'duh' looks. 

"It rung like you." She finally answered. 

"How does something ring like me?" He teased. 

"Three or four?" She responded. 

"It was four. Good job, babe." 

"As usual." He could feel her smirk, even though he couldn't see it. 

"Apple Jacks?" He knew she knew what he meant. 

"You're feeling tired, worn down. Unsure about a big decision? Something's bothering you…" 

Okay, so he knew that her predictions had nothing to do with the cereal. And everything to do with the kind of week he was having or the expression on his face when she saw him. But all the same, she always knew how to put his problems into words. And that was a comforting thing. After all, wasn't that what therapists were paid to do?

"Now that you mention it," His started, his eyes twinkling, wondering if he could get an honest answer. "I have this friend who's been avoiding me. Can you foresee what would make a person do such a thing?" 

"Avoid the most desirable man in Japan? Well, if this friend is a guy, he's probably jealous. You're stealing all of the attention away from him with the ladies." 

"Oh. And if this someone were female?" 

"She might be jealous too. It's known that quite a few men are attracted to your boyish charms and great look." At this he found himself blushing with an angry expression on his face. That was…disturbing to think about and he preferred to pretend like he didn't notice it when those of the same sex were hitting on him. 

"Are you jealous Pan?" He teased, if she were there he'd be nudging her side. "Am I stealing all of your boyfriends away?" She laughed lightly before answering. 

"And I was wondering why Toby hadn't called." She spoke with mock appall. They had a good laugh before things turned serious again, Trunks' face turned solemn and his worries got heavier. 

"I don't want you to be mad at me Panny." He finally spoke. She sighed and he knew the smile was also wiped off her face. 

"I'm not mad at _you_ Trunks." She told him, and he was sure she knew he wasn't going to leave her alone until they talked things out. "Its…I don't know…everything." He groaned, letting her know that wasn't good enough. "Well…I guess…In a way I am jealous of you. You see…I always-always thought that I'd be married before you." He laughed at her explanation, not believing it for a second. For as long as he'd known Pan he'd never heard her talk of marrying in her twenties. She'd always said something along the lines of fifty-if at all. She wasn't in a rush to settle down. Not with the way she shoved any guy interested aside as if he were a fly circling her favorite food.

She wasn't in a rush to _'settle in a kitchen with brats and a fat stomach'_. The day she told him that one was still fresh in his mind. And now here she was, saying she thought she wanted to be married before him. She wasn't serious…was she? She could be…she was the biggest tomboy, but he knew that was show. She really was proud of being a girl. So maybe she was just putting up a façade when she told him that she didn't want to be married either. Maybe she was just saying that for fear of laying her true feelings out there for mockery. She did that a lot. He had a feeling, however, that this was one of those times. And she wasn't really afraid of him being married first. 

The stony silence that met him as he laughed at her told him to shut up quickly, though. And he stopped in his pondering for a few seconds, to say some encouraging words. Even if she was lying, he knew she believed he thought she was telling the truth, the last thing he wanted was for her to believe she couldn't tell him anything. She really could. And he wouldn't throw it in her face. So, if she wanted to pretend that she wanted to be married before him, he could play this game. He could make her feel 'better' about it. 

"Panny, I'm sure that you won't have trouble finding Mr. Right, if you'd just give him a chance. But you're always sending off _every _guy that tries to talk to you. You can be…really intimidating." 

"Do _you _think I'm 'intimidating'?" She challenged and he had the suspicion that there was a curious tint to her voice. As if she were pleading, not making a point. 

"Of course not. But I grew up with you. I used to baby-sit you. And I'm one of the few men that could take you in a fight." 

"Yeah right." She responded snidely. "Not even if I let you. You'd pass out from exhaustion, Mr. Office Man." 

"We'll just have to see about that one. I haven't had any exercise in awhile, but I'm sure I could still whip you." 

"Yeah, you won't be talking trash once I beat you into unrecognizable pieces." 

"Hmph." He made a motion to cross his arms but realized he was holding the phone, blushing and glad she couldn't see him, he continued on. "What do you say? Tonight then? I'll stop all your trash talking." 

"Only because you won't be conscious to hear it, but yeah." 

"Whatever Pan-pan. It's a date. Now, back to these Apple Jacks…"

*

It was a good thing he couldn't see the blush that formed furiously across her cheeks at those words. It was a _date_. Hah. She needed to get over the shock, he hadn't meant it _that_ way, and it wasn't the first time he'd used the expression. But it always had the same affect. They'd had countless 'dates' the earliest she could remember was when she was six. Okay, so they weren't really countless if she knew _exactly _how many times they'd had one, but hey. Anyway, she had to force herself to listen to what he was saying. The idiot was still talking about his choice of breakfast. 

"Just have teriyaki and rice for dinner, no harm done…after I kill you, that is." She heard him chuckle and stop his ramblings on food. 

"So, I'm glad you're speaking to me again." She rolled her eyes, tired of him lingering back to the fact that she was obviously angry with him. 

"I was never _not _speaking with you." She informed him, sighing with annoyance. 

"Sure you weren't. Only you were really busy. Busier than you have been for…what? Three months?" She bit her bottom lip, annoyed at him for bringing it up. Trunks had started dating Marron three months ago. She'd avoided him then too. It was a wonder he hadn't made the connection. 

"I _was _really busy." She spoke defiantly. She knew he didn't believe her but she didn't care. She wasn't going to own up to the reason she'd been avoiding him. Countless times she'd tried to tell the idiot she was madly in love with him and couldn't get over it to save her life. Countless times she'd tried to tell him she wasn't going to be with anyone else if she couldn't go to sleep feeling his touch every night, couldn't wake up to his kiss every day. How many times had she been just about to spill the news but lost her nerves? Too many to count. More times than he had called their get-togethers 'dates'. 

"I know Pan-pan, I know." She knew it was about time to wrap this conversation up. Knew he had stacks of paper on his desk taller than two of her and he needed to get back to work. The conversation had been longer than usual because she had stayed on the phone with him this time. But she didn't want to end the dialogue between them, then he'd be able to say she was avoiding him again. She didn't want that. And she loved it when he called her 'Pan-pan'. It was the only time she ever felt like she was more than just his friend. Like he really cared for her. 

"Trunks, don't you have to get back to work?" 

"Yeah, probably." He seemed unhappy about hanging up with her, reluctant to let her go. Maybe she should 'avoid' him more often. If he was happy to talk to her then she was all for it. Dende, why did she have to love him so much? She knew her eyes had glazed over with a dazed kind of look, just talking to him. Knew her face looked completely serene and her heart was fluttering uncontrollably, beating so loudly she thought he could hear it over the phone. And she was smiling. Goofily. The same smile she was sure Marron was wearing last week, when they told a room full of people…Yeah, now she remembered why loving him was a bad thing. The smile had disappeared. 

"I have to call Maz. Then get back to work. I'll talk to you later, lovely." She rolled her eyes. Yes, call Maz. 

"All right, Trunks." She hung up before he could say anything else. Maybe right now he was frowning into the phone, wondering what brought on that change of a mood so suddenly. _Calling your stupid fiancée_. She snorted at the thought. _Her nose is probably so far into a book she won't be able to find the phone_. 

*

Trunks frowned as he waited for the phone to stop ringing and the person on the other end to pick up. He knew she was busy but…couldn't she just pause for a second? She had to know it was him. Finally, he heard tired breathing, as if she'd searched forever for the telephone, and then her strained 'hello'. 

"Hey love," He smiled, loving the tired tone to her voice. He loved everything about her from the way he was sure she was raking her fingers through her hair right now, to the way her blue eyes always shown into his like she could read his soul. 

"Trunks," He could almost see her smiling through the phone. "What are you up to?" 

"Just got Pan to talk to me again." 

"Ah, did she ever say what was wrong?" He could hear scribbling sounds on the other end and he knew she was writing frantically on some paper. 

"Danced right around it. You know Pan." He was, by then, shifting though papers of his own, reading the first line of a three page report on marketing. 

"Yeah. But at least you guys are talking again. I hate to see you _miserable_." She emphasized the miserable part with an almost bitter tone to her voice. He had the suspicion that there was some underlying meaning to her words and quirked his eyebrows, but he didn't question her farther, only countered her statement. 

"I wasn't _miserable_. I was just a little upset. Anyway, we have a date tonight."

"We do?" At this, he could hear the movements going on in the background stop, he knew she had paused completely in her work and was lifting her own eyebrow. He laughed at her confusion and shook his head, as if she could see the motion.

"Not _us_. Pan and I." 

"Oh." She almost sounded relieved and he found himself wondering why. "So, I don't remember telling you it was okay to see other people." She teased as he heard her begin her work again. 

"I don't remember asking." He mused. "I didn't think you'd mind, you know. You should get used to it, I am the president of a very lucrative business. Women throw themselves at me all the time and if we're going to be married you can't expect me not to get bored _sometimes_." She was smiling, he knew she was. That was the thing he loved most about Marron, he'd never seen her be jealous. Not ever. She, of course, didn't want him running around on her, but a little harmless flirting in his business junctures, and she never freaked out. So what, every now and then he'd have to wink at a business partner or take out the daughter of an opposing company's president. She didn't complain. 

She understood that he was just being a man of the world and as long as she carried herself as a person who deserved respect, she would get it. She knew better than to overreact if he checked out a waitress or smiled at a cashier when they were out. She hardly even noticed it when they slipped him their numbers. And if she did, she didn't say anything. Naturally, he always threw them away when he got to a trash can, but that didn't change the fact that she could have made a scene. Every other woman he'd ever dated had. But not Marron. And right now, he knew that she was smiling at his little joke, not considering the future, wondering if he ever would cheat on her. He wouldn't dare. 

"Yeah, I should have known you were a dog. All my friends told me so. But _no_. I had to keep on turning to _Trunks_. Loving _Trunks_." She laughed and he joined her. "You were my downfall mister." 

"And proud to be so." They discussed life events for a moment. Then he asked her what she was working on and she gave him a detailed description about electrochemical lab research that he didn't understand and in return she asked about his 'business mumbo-jumbo' as she called it and he described the marketing plan. Then, almost as if out of no where, she asked him something else. 

"So, where are you and Pan going on your 'date'?" He was startled, as he sat back in his chair and took in her curiosity. She had every right to be curious. She was supposed to be his other half…or soon to be his other half…however that 'soul mate' thing worked.

"Just a spar. Later on tonight though. And if I'm going to make it I'll have to get going. I have so much work in this office…but I'm sure you understand that…" She was rustling through papers so loudly he doubted if she even heard what he was saying. The noise stopped as, he assumed, she realized what she was doing. 

"Oh, yeah. Well, I guess I'll talk to you later tonight." 

"Count on it." 

"Um-hmm." She hung up the phone before he could get another word in edgewise. That was twice. What was with women and hanging up on him? He stared dumbfounded at the phone before putting it back on it's cradle. 

"I love you too, Maz." He spoke to the thin air while smiling. It didn't really bother him. She often got distracted in her work and lost herself to all reality. She often missed her common sense while she was working on equations and chemical formulas and the such. The only thing he knew about any of that was the periodic table of elements had elements on it. That was the extent of his chemistry, and personally, he didn't care one lick for the subject. But Marron was passionate about the subject, and anything she loved he loved, by the transitive property, because he loved her. See, he did pick up on a little geometry. 

He flipped through a few more files, looking them over and not really reading them, before boredom took him again. If Pan were here she'd be helping him with these papers. She'd be keeping him attentive. Maybe he should think about hiring a personal assistant… 

*

Pan paused, sweat pouring down her face, hair in a messy pile on her head. She wiped her brow before Trunks came charging at her again and she had to quickly move out of the way. His fist went past her head but not even by a centimeter and she was already throwing her leg into his chest. He doubled over and she used the pause to her advantage, throwing her hands down onto his back and knocking him to the ground. 

He pulled himself up with speed she didn't expect, or even consider that he had, and shot the back of his hand to the side of her face. She fell back but quickly regained her footing and they were back to throwing punches and kicks at each other, neither of them able to land a blow. 

Trunks was increasing his speed by the second but every time he swung out, Pan was already moving slightly in the other direction. He didn't understand it. She shouldn't be able to move this fast. Her reaction time was no where near that good. He'd seen her fighting with Goten no less than last month, he'd seen her get cornered by the same tactic. And now she was moving so skillfully it was like she anticipated every move before he even thought it. Like she could read his mind. All the while, never slowing the speed in her own attacks. And he, he had no trouble dodging anything she threw at him. But naturally, he was stronger than she was. Of course it was only by the amount of saiyan blood cursing through his veins, otherwise she'd have already ended this match. 

But she hadn't. And it was almost as if they were dancing. The way they moved so playfully around each other, moving before the other even had the chance to stop attacking. Her body moved in sync with his and they found themselves neck to neck. His right fist was by her left cheek and hers by his. Both of them had missed the punch but Pan had threw so much into it that she lost her footing and flew forward. Her lips bumped his, grazing ever so lightly, and he saw her recoil back as if he'd burnt her skin. 

So startled he was by the contact-the small shivers that cascaded down his spine-that he had to clear his head, telling himself that if he didn't think about what he was going to do next, and just made some random move, she wouldn't be expecting it and couldn't dodge it. But her psyche seemed to be two steps ahead of his, she was already doing the same thing and her foot caught his jaw. He fell to the ground once again, and being tired, ended the match.

"That's good, Pan." He held his hand up for surrender and she shot one of his famous smirks at him. He rolled his eyes, annoyed that she could copy his face so easily, and pulled himself off the ground. 

"Thought you could take me." She mused and he shook his head at her cockiness.

"I can. I just didn't want to crush your spirit." 

"Yeah right." She wiped her face once again and looked back through the woods. "Well, I should be getting home soon. You know, I have classes in the morning." 

"And I have work." 

"And you have to call Marron tonight." She offered the piece of information without even thinking. Without taking a second thought to what she was saying. She didn't even realize it until it had come out of her mouth. This was probably a good thing, for at this point, she was sure if she'd spoken with vengeance he'd have picked up on exactly what was wrong with her. And she loved him like a friend as well. If she couldn't have it all at least she could have something. She didn't want to ruin what they had left. 

"Yeah." He nodded, wiping his hands on his blue spandex and looking as if someone had sentenced him to life. She laughed slightly and leaned in to nudge his side. 

"What's that look for?" She teased as he blushed, realizing his face. 

"Oh, nothing. It's just…" He paused, looking at her as if just realizing who she was. "You don't want to hear this." He informed, shaking his head. "And you said it was late." 

"Nonsense. If you need to talk, Trunks, I'm here to listen." Perhaps she sounded too eager at this point, for he lifted a curious eyebrow at her, but she didn't mind it. She already had to force herself to keep the smile off of her face. Was something going on with Trunks and Marron? Something bad? _Like he realizes she's not the one_. Hah. Pan almost laughed out loud at herself. The day Trunks told her something like that was the day Gohan told Pan he would rather see her with Trunks than someone else. Never going to happen. 

"It's not so much that I need to talk, as it is that I need to think. Marriage is a huge concept, you know." Her good mood visibly dropped. He was giving serious contemplation to their married life together. She really didn't want to hear about this. He seemed to notice her mood and she could almost see the wheels inside his head turning. Shit. He was going to figure it out. Why right now? After all the times she thought of telling him she loved him. Of all the times she considered sharing her soul and easing her heavy load. Why now? 

"Pan," He began, but she was already turning on her heels. She was running, not literally, but running just the same. She knew, but she didn't want to hear it from him right now. She wasn't ready for her world to fall apart. She just wanted them to stay the same, frozen in that frame forever. Helplessly in love with him, and him none the wiser. She never thought she'd be wishing that. But at the same point she was ready to avoid. She was in panic mode. She also never seriously thought he'd know she loved him. She wanted to get away. But his hand was quick, grabbing her hand and keeping her there. She sighed.

"Trunks, I have to go to class in the morning." 

"And I have to go to work. That isn't stopping me from spending time with one of my most favorite people. I said, _Pan_," She smiled, despite herself. One of his 'most favorite people'? She liked that. 

"What, Trunks?" 

"I think I figured it out." She turned back to him. Her lips a pale pink, her face drained of color. She was feeling lightheaded and she could tell that he could tell. He gently tugged on her arm and pushed her onto the soft forest ground. 

"Figured out what, Trunks?" He was staring into her eyes with intensity as she found herself twiddling her fingers from nervousness. He placed his hands on hers and drew her eyes back to him, demanding full attention. Whatever it was that he was going to say, it was pretty important. She breathed out one good time and prepared herself for the worst. 

This was it, the defining moment. He was going to give her a speech about how she was too young for him and how he could never think of her in that particular way. Then he was going to tell her that she should find someone closer to her age, because she was a 'great girl' and deserved 'the best' and he wasn't it. But all of that would just be to ease his own conscience and make it so that he could sleep soundly at night. Next to _her_. She wasn't looking forward to this. 

Her throat constricted as he opened his mouth again. But the words that came out were not at all what she expected. 

"Pan, I love you," He paused, lowering his head slightly so he could read every emotion in her eyes. She blinked a number of times and forced down anything that she might be thinking. He hadn't….he didn't….what the hell? Her heart literally paused in beat as she let her mind gather around what he'd just said. He loved her? He couldn't mean that. This wasn't what she thought it was. And she was right, it wasn't. 

"You know that." He continued on, thinking what he saw was disbelief. And he was partly right. As she realized what he meant, she also understood why he was looking so hurt right now. He meant that he loved her, but not that he _loved _her. So the fact that she was giving him a 'yeah right' look didn't help matters. He thought that she was feeling like he didn't care about her at all. But he really did love her as a friend. A little sister. He was being sincere and he was hurt that she would think otherwise.

"Yeah." She nodded, finding her voice. 

"And I would never do anything to hurt you." She nodded again. Sadness was evident in her eyes. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she realized the truth. Realized what had just went down. She went from completely miserable, the absolute bottom of the barrel, to the epitome of happiness, and then more miserable than before in what couldn't have even been a minute.

For one second she believe that he actually really cared for her. More than he had ever cared for her before. For one second everything was forgotten, from his fiancée right down to the age difference. And, she realized, staring into his deep blue eyes the way she was, she was able to forget it all again. If he wanted her to. But he clearly didn't. And now, the speech was coming on. _Now_ he was going to tell her that they couldn't ever be more than friends.

She had the urge to pull her hands from his, not wanting his pity contact, and fold them in her lap. She also had the urge to jump up and run away, reliving that one moment, the happiest few seconds of her short life, over and over again in her mind until the sun shone up again and she had to face reality. But she didn't do anything. Except nod dumbly and wait for him to continue. 

"So I don't want you to think of Marron as a blow against you." He seemed to be thinking hard about how to phrase his next words and she was thinking hard about how to shelter her tears. She didn't want him to tell her about how there was no possible way for them to mean anything more to each other. And she was thankful that his eyes had stopped scrutinizing hers, for any second her eyes would be glossy and dull. 

"Marron is the love of my life, yes, but you're…well…you're like my sanity. You know? So, just because I love her in a different way doesn't mean that she's going to replace you in my life. My heart. There's room for more than one kind of love in there." He smiled down at her and she realized that this was the extent of the speech. This was it? He thought she was afraid that once he and Marron got married they weren't going to be friends anymore? The thought hadn't even crossed her mind…until now. But she wouldn't have thought it for the world. And she didn't believe it now, once he'd brought it up. She wanted to laugh out loud, but let a small smile grace her lips instead.

"I mean, you and Marron are practically best friends anyway." He shrugged, glad to see a happy expression on her face. "So? Does that make everything all right?" She couldn't help but want to smother him with her love at that moment. He was concerned with making everything all right? Well he could never make 'everything' all right. She bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh at how adorable he was and said the first thing that came to mind, if he wanted to think that was the problem then fine, why not? Better this than him knowing what was really wrong with her. 

"Yes, Trunks. Everything is fine." She pulled her hands from his and got to her feet, looking down at him with satisfaction. This wasn't the end of their friendship…not just yet.

"Wait," He called, getting to his feet as well. She turned back to him, her heart pounding slightly faster than normal. What now? She was sure her face displayed her annoyance because he laughed. "I just wanted to know what cereal I should have in the morning." 

"Fruit Loops." She shrugged, laughing at how absurd he was. "You really _can't _do without me." She mocked him and he wrinkled his brow. 

"Of course not, you're my lady luck." Lady luck, huh? Yes, maybe she could live with that. If she couldn't she would have to learn. She would try. With that they parted ways, both smiling to themselves, both for different reasons. Trunks felt he had gotten his friend to realize that she didn't have to be jealous of his soon to be wife. And Pan had gotten to keep her friend from realizing she was jealous because she loved him more than her sanity should have allowed. And he was none the wiser. Things were looking up.   
  
A/N: Ugh, life has been hectic this week. But anywho, for those of you who are reading this and hate the T/M that's going on, I'm sorry. Bear with me, it's essential to get to the T/P, but I promise, **there will be** a T/P. They're just not going to get together until a few more chapters from now, and when they do it won't be like you expect. But hopefully, you'll like it anyway. Meanwhile, contend yourself with comparing Trunks' relationship with Marron to his relationship with Pan, there's obvious differences. Now I have homework to finish so…Come back on Saturday, and I should have a brand new chapter up for you guys, until then, Review! It makes me smile [and want to write more].


	3. The beginning of the end

  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Bummer, I know, but I try to live with myself anyway.

  
A/N: Thanks again for the reviews! I know you guys hate me for the T/M that's going on in this story but…it's only going to last for like three more chapters. And I think this chapter is the worst, and it's not that bad. I promise you, he has to be with Marron, otherwise there is no rest of the story. It's essential, I wouldn't do it if it wasn't. But…moving on…I hope this chapter doesn't seem too weird, you see, right after I wrote chapter 2, I changed my mind about the _entire _plot of the story. So, if there's a big shift, this is why. The *'s indicate a change in scene. The **'s indicate a significant change in time, sometimes I'm not very clear about the time…sorry. 

The Beginning of the End 

"That's it." Marron smiled at the man standing across from her and tapped his shoulder playfully, surveying the room around her. 

"So there's nothing else?" He shrugged her hand off and looked around him as well, at the boxes that lined the floor. 

"No, Trunks is bringing the rest tonight." Marron smiled again and blew a piece of blond hair out of her face. Her eyes searched his for any sign of emotion and he nodded in understanding. 

"Well then, if that's all…" He moved awkwardly on his feet and she seemed to get the point. Her eyes fell down to her watch as she nodded. 

"Right, you probably have to go then." He nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah. I have to meet Paris. You know how she gets if I'm late." Marron forced a laugh and walked over to the door politely showing him out. As he walked out of the door she called to him, keeping him frozen in that spot. 

"Goten…did you like the place?" He poked his head in the door and did a last second look around. It was a nice size apartment, he could only see the kitchen and living room from his view, but everything looked nice. He nodded and inched out of the door again. 

"It's a great place, Mar." She smiled proudly and gave him a good-bye hug as he exited the apartment. 

"Don't want you to be late for Paris." She called after him in what could have been mistaken as a mocking tone. He lifted a curious eyebrow at what he thought he heard before lifting his arm in a good-bye wave and descending the stairs.

She closed the door and sighed, leaning against it and not wanting to look at all the boxes she had to unpack. Whose idea was it for her and Trunks to move in together anyway? She laughed at herself while thinking this. They were engaged, it was about time they lived together, three months into the engagement and still no date was set. Nothing but the promise that they were going to get married _some day_. (A/N: that means this is three months after chapter 2 ^-^)

So…what was bothering her? Really? It seemed like her life was moving fast and speeding out of her control. But she and Trunks weren't moving _that _fast. They dated for three months, got engaged for three months, then moved in together. That led her to the current. Fast, yes, but she had known him all her life. They did know all the little details about each other, so it was more like they'd been dating all their lives…something like that. 

If she looked at it that way, she couldn't use rushing as an excuse for her foul mood. Was it that she had to unpack all this stuff without Trunks' help? Was it that she was just in a bad mood, no excuse? She didn't know. But what she did know was that she had just been rude to Goten for no apparent reason. She wasn't obscenely rude, but it was snappier than is usual in her personality. Mocking wasn't nice, even if she didn't like her friends' girlfriend. 

It didn't matter, he wasn't particularly offended, so no harm was done. Anyway, she didn't see any reason for her to be in a bad mood…and yet she was. She found herself picking up boxes and ripping the tape off. Then she gathered a big mass of tape and slammed it into a trash can. 

Maybe these were just mood swings. She reasoned as she sat down on the hardwood floor. Or maybe this was a tell-tell sign of something bad about to happen. She might be making a huge mistake. Or she was spooking herself for no good reason. Trunks was good to her and she was good for him. That's the way things would stay. As long as they were in love things would be okay. And she loved him…right….?

"Of course I _love _him." Marron smiled, standing up and unloading boxes more calmly this time. She was only overanalyzing things, trying to make something bad out of the good. She'd always been afraid of things that were too good to be true. She supposed they all were a little afraid of that. It was a Z gang curse. Whenever things were going well their parents were always looking over their shoulders waiting for the worst. It rubbed off on all of them, some unconscious paranoia. 

Yes, that's all it was. She reasoned. She loved Trunks more than anything. And he loved her. They were each other's perfect match, she just knew it. The only thing wrong was that she was looking for the bad. Well, she wasn't going to do that anymore. She was going to make things work. 

The phone sitting by her on the floor started to give a high pitched ring and she jumped, dropping a picture frame. "Damn." She spat, looking down at what it happened to be. It was her and Trunks, the glass on the frame cracked right down the middle, slicing through each other's hand so they were no longer linked to one another. 

"Hello." She spoke and there was almost anger in her voice. The person on the other end was startled, it was evident in their voice as they spoke their greetings. 

"Hey Mar." Pan called out, her voice slightly shaky. "Did I…interrupt…something. Is Trunks…is Trunks there?" 

"No." She coughed, the frown on her face deepening. "No he's not here. He won't be home until tonight but he can't go anywhere with you, Pan. We have unpacking to do." Her tone of voice took that of a mother telling her child to go to bed. 

"I was actually calling for you." The voice was cold, as if she were retracting the statement now, upset the idea had run through her head. Marron suddenly felt bad, realizing that her friend-that was what Pan was-had called to talk to her. Not calling to be bothersome or ask for her fiancé. She coughed again, but this time it was out of guilt, not annoyance. 

"I'm sorry, Pan. Things have been a little hectic." She cleared her throat and forced a smile on her face, in an attempt to make her voice sound lighter. "What can I do for you?" 

"Oh, it's nothing important. I'll just see you some other time." Marron could hear her about to hang up the phone, really she wouldn't blame her-she probably would have done the same thing if Pan had treated her that way. But she called out just the same. 

"No, really Pan, it's no bother." Pan sighed and kept the phone to her ear. 

"I was just wondering if you needed a little help unpacking. It is the week-end and I don't have classes again until Tuesday, I figured it'd be a chance for us to hang out. But never-"

"That would be fantastic!" Marron spoke, honestly enthusiastic. Pan was a great person, and now she found herself wondering why she'd acted that way only seconds before. The girl wasn't anything like an annoying younger sibling, she wasn't even close to being rude, so why had she behaved so rudely toward Pan? For the life of her Marron couldn't figure out what switched her mood so suddenly. A word was lingering at the tip of her head when Pan sighed again and agreed to come over, drawing Marron out of her state of mind. 

"Great!" She cheered, glad to have someone help with the unpacking. As she hung up the phone and stood up, she found her foot crushing something that must have been sitting right next to her. She swore and looked down, seeing the picture frame again. The huge crack that was separating her and Trunks spread farther and she remembered what it was. The reason her mood had shifted so easily with Pan. Trunks. It was Trunks…

For as long as she could remember, everyone had gotten along with everyone else. But no one more than Trunks and Pan. Ever since Pan jumped on that stupid ship to help Trunks find the Black-Star Dragon-balls nothing had been the same. It wasn't Trunks and Goten after that. No, it was Trunks _and Pan_ and Goten. That left Marron and Bra to sit around with their dolls and dream about what it would be like to be Pan. She had never admitted it before. She never would. But that's what they used to do, admire Pan. 

It wasn't her fault she was born to play dress up and wear lipsticks instead of throw mud and fight. But that's what always left her out of the equation anyway. For as long as she could remember, it had always been Trunks, Goten, and Pan. How was she supposed to compete with that? But just as quickly, she was feeling ridiculous, who said she would ever have to compete with Pan? Trunks loved them both…in completely different ways.

**

"What are you doing tomorrow?" The man asked, a mischievous smile playing on his face as he wrapped his arms around the girl. She smiled back, falling into his embrace and closing her eyes to enjoy the feel. She relished in his touch before she even considered responding, sighing and turning her face to look into his deep blue eyes. 

"I have to work. But only for half the day, I promise." He laughed and kissed the top of her forehead, not even seeming bothered by the news. 

"That's what you said last week and I didn't see you at all." He pretended to pout, rubbing his hands up and down her sides softly. "I miss you sometimes." 

"You'll have the rest of your life to miss me, Trunks." She laughed softly. 

"You'll have the rest of your life to work, Marron." He countered, kissing the nape of her neck suggestively. 

"Well, I'm not working now." She giggled as he turned her around so that their faces were to each other. His lips came down on hers and she smiled into the kiss but he didn't release her. Soon she became serious again and her lips pushed back on his with just as much force. Then he pulled apart and for what seemed like centuries, but what couldn't have been more than a few seconds, they just stared in comfortable silence. 

"I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much." He smiled down at her and she blushed, not knowing what to say. He didn't bother to wait for her to speak, though, he was too busy pulling her back into his embrace. "I'm never letting you go." He whispered as his lips trailed her neck, leaving soft, warm, kisses everywhere along the way. She sighed into him, not objecting at all to the statement, and closed her eyes again. The phone rang. 

Marron made a move toward the end-table where the phone was politely resting but Trunks tightened his hold around her. "Leave it alone." He commanded, lips still buried near her shoulder, but she gave him a serious look. 

"What if it's the Lab? I _have _to get it." She pushed her hands into his chest and began to walk off as he whimpered objectively. 

"The only thing you _have_ to do is stay here." He tried to pull her back but her hands had already slipped through his and she was at the phone. He groaned as she said hello and gave her the meanest glare he could summon. "I warned you." He mouthed as she dejectedly handed him the phone. 

"I just couldn't risk it Trunks." She whispered softly into his ear, letting her breath caress the lobe gently. He shivered, forgiving her instantly. 

"Your mother needs you to come into the office. An important meeting has come up and she's too busy to make it. Sorry Mr. Briefs." He heard his secretary say all in one breath and he grumbled, nodding his head. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in ten minutes." Sighing heavily, he hung up the phone. 

"I'm sorry?" Marron tried as he shot his deathly eyes at her. "I'll make it up to you when you come home?" He growled and she walked over to him, running her hands through his hair. 

"No, Maz, you know I hate that." He protested, trying to get away from her dangerous hands. "Don't mess with my hair!" She laughed and, with unusual strength coming from her, pulled his head level with hers. Her lips pressed firmly to his and he didn't even try to resist. His arms outstretched and he drew her body in, kissing her so deeply her knees got slightly weak. She pulled back quickly and caught her breath. 

"When you get home." She warned in a 'final' tone. He nodded dismally and headed for the door, mumbling about how he told her not to answer the phone. "I had to!" She yelled back as the door slammed. 

"That boy." She whispered, a smile playing on her lips as she fell into the chair. 

Her peace only lasted for about two minutes, however, before the phone was howling again and she slowly leaned over to pick it up. It was probably Trunks, still complaining, she thought as she greeted the person on the other end. 

"Trunks, I said later, now don't start to-" 

"Mar?" A distress sounding voice rung out to her on the other end. It wasn't Trunks, she realized with a quickness. 

"Goten? What's wrong?" Her voice was urgent, for she had never heard him sound so down before. This was Goten, he'd never been so upset. 

"Do you really want to know? I honestly just called for Trunks…but I guess he's not there..." His voice choked and panic shot through her. She wondered if he were crying. 

"Goten, you can talk to me. What is it?" She was sure he heard the panic in her tone because of the hurried way she spoke, as if she would pop if she didn't get it all out. What could have her friend so upset that he couldn't even form whole sentences without pausing to regroup himself? He heaved a long sigh and was silent for a long few seconds, seconds that made Marron's heart pound louder and almost through her throat. 

"Goten…" She said after the dramatic pause he had taken. 

"Yeah, Mar…I just…I can't talk about it right now. Not like this." She pulled her hand to her mouth and sat for a second, dumbfounded. He was genuinely hurt over something, she'd never heard him this way before. 

"Well…would you--I mean, you know, do you want to meet somewhere and talk about it…? Whatever's bothering you, I'm here. Always." This time her voice was soft, filled with love and concern, and it brought his defenses down. He sobbed loudly and reluctantly found himself agreeing. 

"Yeah, maybe at the diner near your Lab? Around four?" She smiled, glad that he was willing to talk to someone about his problem, and not sit around all day and wait for Trunks, wallowing in whatever was the matter. 

"That would be fine, Goten." After courteous good-byes they hung up the phone and Marron glanced at the clock. A groan escaped her lips as she realized she only had thirty minutes to get ready and get there before she was late. She had to get a move on. 

*

She moved her hands around to the other side of her waist, switching the weight from the books she was holding around to the other arm. She used her free hand to move a piece of hair out of her face and sighed. Could this day get any longer? She glanced at a campus clock and her heart almost stopped. Two minutes left before she'd be late to class. Her legs broke out into a run as she dashed from one side of the collage campus to the other, hoping she'd make it there in time without having to show her saiyan strength. 

Before another thought could even enter her head, her body collided with someone else and they both went tumbling to the ground. Her books scattered all over the pavement and she swore under her breath, getting quickly to her knees and gathering some wandering papers before they had the chance to fly away. She tucked her hair back again and sighed, picking up the books that were close to her, mumbling an apology to the person she'd swung into. 

"Sorry." They both spoke at the same time, both carrying a tone of one that would rather not be where they were. 

"No problem." The girl responded, blowing off a bit of steam and getting to her feet. Her counterpart was doing the same and, as she rose, their eyes met. Brown with captivating green. 

"Pan?" The boy questioned, a smile dancing on his lips. 

"Toby." She greeted, her voice filled with obvious distaste and uncensored anger. 

"Don't be like that." He whimpered while awkwardly trying to grab at a piece of paper threatening to fly away from the middle of his stack of books and work. 

She snorted and started to move past him, upset that she was late for class. That was the one class of hers that was on the lock-out-policy; get there on time or miss the entire class. So, she was missing sociology study again. Third time this semester, couldn't be good for her final grade.

"What do you want?" She asked shortly, switching her hip weight from one leg to the other. Her mouth was turned to a frown and her brow was wrinkled as she glared at him.

"Can't a guy say hi? I missed you." He stated, sugarcoating the sentence for all he was worth. 

"You didn't call." She replied shortly, trying to make it look like the books she was holding were heavy to her, so she'd have some excuse to walk away from him. 

"I did call. Four times I called and you never called me back. What's that about?" 

"You never called." She stated again, this time with more force. She pushed past him with determination and began to stalk off. 

"Listen, Pan!" He called after her, a desperate tone to his voice. "Just listen, please?" She didn't know why she stopped, why her feet backtracked those steps she had so determinedly taken to get away from him. The only answer she could come up with was Trunks. His voice resounding through her head, _you're always sending off every guy that tries to talk to you. You can be…really intimidating_…Suddenly the urge to prove him wrong overtook her.

*

Marron tapped her fingers on the table, making a rhythm that her head bobbed to out of boredom. Where was Goten? She had gotten here ten minutes late and she was sure that he was going to be angry with her, but he wasn't even there. At first she was scared, afraid that his patience had grown thin after five minutes and he left, thinking she wasn't going to show. But the more she thought about it, the more she was sure that he would never do something like that to her. He wouldn't leave, and he was too upset to consider not talking to somebody. 

So he was later than she was. Maybe this was worse than she imagined. Her head began to reel as she considered all the things that could have gone wrong. Her heart caught in her throat. Chi-Chi. She was okay…wasn't she? She found her left hand had made it to her mouth, her fingers being bitten at without mercy. 

"I've got to calm down." She softly chastised herself, hoping that no one walking by could tell she was talking to herself. That would be too weird. Anyway, it wasn't Chi-Chi, he would have said something right away if there was anything the matter with his mother. And that was good, because Marron loved Chi-Chi as if she were her own mother. 

So what else could it be? Marron sighed. There weren't that many things that could make a man so unhappy. Either someone was sick, in trouble, or pregnant…Oh, Dende! Her mind shot out that possibility before she could control it. Paris was pregnant. That was it, she knew it. But that was horrible. Goten was going to have to marry that hag. Her body was rigid as she considered, anger searing through every fiber of her soul. Goten was going to marry her. She'd finally found a way to trap him to her. Damn…

The other terrible things Marron could have thought up to call Paris were interrupted by the waiter clearing her throat. She looked disapprovingly at Marron, smoothing her red-brown hair with her hands, and smacking noisily on her gum. 

"Can I get you anything? Other than a refill on _water_?" Her tone was clear, order or get out. Marron sighed. 

"I was trying to wait for my friend, but…" She let her eyes scan the menu, feeling her stomach churn at what was being offered. This was a greasy type of place she wouldn't like to be eating at. 

"No need to wait." She heard a voice speak, strained as he pulled out the chair and sat down. "Order already." His attempt to smile was failed as his glossy brown eyes looked down at the menu before him. 

"Just a hamburger." She managed to speak, trying to calm the bile in her stomach. 

"I'll have the same. Along with a strawberry milkshake." Marron looked up with curiosity. 

"That's _all_ you're having?" She spoke with disbelief. The waitress snorted and walked away from the two, obviously not pleased with something or other. 

"What's wrong, Goten?" She questioned, feeling the dread in her stomach as she prepared to hear the worst. "It's Paris, isn't it?" 

He slowly nodded and opened his mouth to tell her the entire story…

*

"I don't know why I'm doing this." She sighed, shaking her head and writing something down on a piece of paper. Her eyes danced lightly over his before she handed it to him with a small smile. "Don't mess the numbers up this time." 

He laughed as he took the paper from her hands, his eyes showing exactly how happy he was feeling. "I won't. I promise." He crossed his hands over his heart and smiled brighter. Pan got a fluttery feeling in her stomach, but it wasn't because of him. It was that smile. She knew that smile. It was a Trunks' smile. The only reason she ever dated Toby in the first place was because she had seen him use that smile before, and it immediately reminded her of the love she could never have. She wanted to back down, but she wanted to prove Trunks wrong more. 

She could allow herself to date. She could be like the other girls. She could flirt and smile and laugh at corny jokes. And she was going to. No matter how much it annoyed her. No matter how unnerved she was with the way Toby's eyes eagerly searched her body. She shifted beneath his stare, feeling nervous and naked all at once. 

"So…I'll see you tonight?" He spoke slowly, letting the words glide off his tongue. She sighed and reluctantly nodded her head. 

"Yeah. That's the plan." A cute smile pursed her lips as she turned around, letting her hips glide while walking away from him. "Tonight." She called back, over her shoulder, knowing he was still standing there without having to look back at all. 

She didn't know what she was doing. How could she have made a date with Toby? She didn't actually believe his bogus story about how he had called her and she never called him back. Talking about he must have had the wrong number. She snorted at the thought. He just hadn't thought about her since their last 'date'. So what was it then? Purely Trunks, she supposed. He got to her so much that she would do anything to prove him wrong. If she couldn't have him, she might as well make her life worth it and have somebody in it to cherish with. Who knew, maybe Toby would prove to be more interesting this time around. Maybe…

*

"Is that all?" Marron asked, a smile of relief filling her face. He raised his eyebrows in anger and surprise. 

"_All_?" He questioned, the anger not bothering to be hidden from his voice. "What do you mean, _is that all_? After what I just told you, that's all you have to say?" 

"I'm sorry, Goten, I didn't mean that the way is sounded. It's just that…Well, I thought it was something _serious_." 

"What's more serious than this? My entire life is on the line! It could be over with Paris and I, and you mean to tell me that you don't consider that serious?" 

"I do. I promise I do. I just thought you were going to tell me…well…that she was pregnant or something. I was afraid you were going to be shoved into something you didn't want, like a quick marriage. But…"

"What makes you think I wouldn't want to marry her? I wish she _were_ pregnant." The confession startled Marron. She wasn't sure why. But it was something about Paris that she didn't trust. The girl was mean. And it was no surprise that she was putting this pressure on Goten. He deserved better than what Paris had to offer. He deserved someone who would love him without question. And Paris wasn't that someone. She was proving it yet again. Just by telling him what she'd told him, by doing what she did, she was letting him know that he needed to move on. 

"You know, Goten, maybe…just maybe…" She started hesitantly, stretching the 'just' so she wouldn't get yelled at once again. "Paris has a point." She held up a hand in defense, signaling that she wasn't through. "Let me finish, will you?" He nodded and sat back in his chair, a scorned look ever-present on his face as she talked. 

"You see, I don't think Paris is looking for an escape route in your relationship, I really think she's just trying to be sure you're the right one. You see, when you love someone, sometimes you just have to give them a little room to find themselves before they can be sure that you're the right one. Sometimes you have to let the person breathe before they're ready to just fall right into your arms and accept everything you have to offer. So, in a way, it's a good thing. It's not just about her 'wanting to see other people', it's about wanting to be sure you're the one, the only one for her. So…it just means that she's thinking seriously about you and her and she wants to be absolutely positive that there's nothing else out there. She doesn't want to make some huge mistake and find out years down the road. Okay?"

"So you're saying that I should agree to this? Let her go out with other men?! You think it's okay?" He ran his hands through his hair, fighting the angry look that was trying to take over his face again. 

"Yes. I think you should not only accept the suggestion, but take it as well. You know what they say, 'when you love someone, let 'em go, if they come back their yours', try it, won't you?" 

"That's so crazy it might just work." He spoke dully at first, letting the idea play around in his head for a second. 

Marron bit her lip hoping she was doing the right thing. Sure, she wasn't exactly being honest about what she really thought Paris was up to. Wanting to 'see other people' usually meant the woman was bored. But, she wasn't going to break Goten's heart that way. Also, she didn't want him to mope around, or tell Paris he didn't want her to do that. Or, worse yet, ask the stupid girl to marry him. That would be a disaster. 

No, she wanted her friend to find some other person. _Any_ other person would do. Paris was so bad it was amazing that he hadn't moved on already. But she just couldn't imagine Goten being married to that hag. He'd be so upset, solemn and gloomy all the time. She couldn't bear to see _this_ Goten everyday, it just wasn't right. He was supposed to be smiling and carefree. 

And slowly, the smile spread across his face. He was buying it. Great. Marron smiled also, feeling her conscience pounding guilty words loudly into her ear. She forced the smile on her face to remain though, as he stood up from the table. He crossed the round wood excitedly, throwing his arms around her in complete relief. She was smiling genuinely then. 

"Thanks, Mar. You make things sound bearable. You're the best chick friend a guy could ask for." A goofy grin was already all across his face as he pulled away from her and she blushed, unsure of her emotion at the time. 

"Thanks Goten…I think…" A small giggle escaped as her mind caught up with what he'd said. 'Chick friend'? That was a Goten remark, she was just glad to see his spirits lifted. "I'm just glad I could help." 

"So am I, Mar. Really, I really, really, appreciate this." 

"Anytime, Goten. Anytime." 

*

Pan slipped into her tight black slacks and zipped them from the back. She straightened out her shirt and smoothed down her hair, examining the look in the mirror. She couldn't believe she was doing this. A date with Toby? Oh well. Her mind chanted as she smoothed a small amount of chap stick over her lips. There was no color but it was enough to keep them looking nice. 

She slipped her feet into the black sandals that lay waiting at the foot of her bed, on the floor, and grabbed her jacket, running down the stairs. Record time. Her mind noted, glancing at the clock. It had only taken her ten minutes to get ready. Maybe that was part of the problem…

Her eyes traveled over her wardrobe as she examined herself nervously. No, she was dressed normally for her. Not too overdone, but not too played-down. She wasn't looking like a tomboy, at least, and that was the important thing. Just because she wasn't wearing some flimsy skirt didn't mean guys shouldn't be interested in her. But her _mind_, not her body. That's what she wanted. 

It wasn't long after that Pan heard the doorbell sound and she knew her date was standing outside the door. She hurried toward the entrance, hoping to beat her curious father before he could intimidate anyone away, and out the door. She didn't waste time looking over Toby before she grabbed his wrist and pulled him away before her father could catch them. By the time she got to the car, however, another kind of surprise awaited her. 

Her eyes traveled curiously over the back seat, danger in her face as she looked back up at Toby. She placed her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face, and spoke. 

"You didn't tell me about this." She said, rolling her eyes at his apologetic look. 

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind…I couldn't help it…" He shrugged with an apology waiting to roll off his lips if she turned away from him. But she didn't do anything of the sort, she only sighed and climbed into the car. 

"Might as well get this over with." She mumbled, still frowning, as Toby climbed in as well and began to drive away, taking sideways glances at Pan the entire time…

*

"Where's that make-up I was promised when I got home?" His voice rang out as he walked into his bedroom, allowing his eyes to glance over the woman he adored more than life. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a messy pony-tail and her glasses were slipping off of her nose as she scribbled words on paper, completely involved. 

"Hi Trunks." She didn't even look up and a tinge of jealously flowed through him. He sat down on the bed letting his weight sink her papers a little, and pulled her hands away from her work. 

"That doesn't even _begin _to cover the debt." He informed her, rolling his eyes and pulling her over to him. His lips came down on hers and her arms circled his neck. Then, as he was pushing her back closer to the bed, she did something she'd never done before, she pulled away.

He lifted his head up, away from hers, shock written on his face. "Is something wrong?" The words were out before he could even stop them, and she was shaking her head right after he asked. 

"No, nothing really. I'm just…I'm just tired, Trunks." There was a long silence as he stared at her, gathering the full meaning of what she was saying. She was 'tired'. He sighed, nodding, and moved away a little more; he was more hurt than he'd like to admit. He glanced at her as if she'd thrown water in his face and stood up, unbuttoning his shirt without further discussion. 

Soon his pajamas were on and he was sliding into the bed that she'd cleared while he was undressing and getting comfortable. Her soft voice echoed through his head for the rest of the night, as she spoke to him one more time, a feeble attempt to make up for what had just happened. 

"I've had a long day." He couldn't believe she'd had the nerve to say that. Wasn't she preaching to the choir? Hadn't he had the longest day, and because of her? And still he'd found no problem coming home to her, he wasn't _that _tired. Never would be when it came to the woman he loved. It wasn't so much that he was deprived from touching her skin, or tasting her on his lips, as it was that she didn't _want _him to. They had gone all week without really being intimate and it hurt him more than he'd like to admit when she pulled away from him. Was it good to be this dependent on someone? He just hoped he wouldn't ever have to find out what life was like without her. No, he was never letting her go, never…

She didn't sleep that night, energy surged through her and she could feel his rigid body tossing beside hers. She knew he was up too. And wasn't it her fault? She was just being ridiculous, and she couldn't point out why, but for some reason his touch had alarmed her. A guilty feeling had spread through her like wildfire when his lips came down on hers. She felt as if she were betraying someone and she couldn't point out exactly why she was feeling so out of it. She was upset, she decided, and the sooner she figured out why and worked through it, the better things would be. 

A/N: I hope the T/M wasn't _that_ bad. And see, they're having problems. Don't hurt me! I'm not sure if I can update on Wednesday or not, but if I don't I'm really sorry. School is killing me right now, and I'm just trying not to be murdered over and over. 

Oh, and please, please review. I appreciate your input and I value your thoughts. So if you're reading, just take a second and say that you are. Tell me what you think. I'm begging. 

Here's thanks and replies to all of you who have reviewed:

My sincerest thanks to:

YunaAngelofHell, Cherry Son, Pia Bartolini, AnimeQueen5, dragon agility, qui, Hanamaru285, Young Ji, Juunanagou4ever, cocoa bear, Animechick, chibigoten124/SSJ3MysticPan, DBZChicky501, lysie3000, bella, Morgause Nokami, SaiyanPrincess33, nicki-gurl, dbzggundamgurlie, violet, and DBprincess116. 

Response and thanks to: 

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Parron-de-gekke-meid- There's nothing wrong with a 14-year age difference. I've just always known that if I ever wrote a T/P and made their age differences accurately 14 years apart, it would have to be good. The way they got together would have to be believable. So when I said I didn't believe I had the nerve, I only meant, I'm not sure if I'm good enough yet. That's all. I love T/P, honestly. 

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SorrowBehindTheMask- there will be some drama in the way Trunks and Pan get together, but it's not going to be life threatening. Although, there might be a death in this fic (actually I know whether or not there will be one, I'm just not going to say) ^-^

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dbz obsessed- I'm expanding on the Vegita thing in the next chapter. He's going to do something that I absolutely looove him for. 

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AnimeFreak-TrunksPan-luver4evr- He's not going to stay with Marron forever. I promise! Keep reading, if you can get through the beginning, it'll be worth it…I hope.

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Ying FA- Trunks is an idiot. But in his defense he will realize that she loves him without her yelling it off the rooftops. Just…not before everyone else realizes it…

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Deidra- Don't worry, Pan's love life will get more interesting. And Trunks _is not_ going to like it. It's all a part of the 'grand plan' for this story. And Trunks is going to be blind for the majority of it. He's a guy…it's not his fault.

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DarK AnJeL- Man those marshmallows were good. But I hope you liked the story despite my stench. And I just took a bath and washed my hair, so…hopefully I'm smelling much better. ^-^

I hope I didn't leave anybody out. And I hope I responded to everyone with questions. I really appreciate when you leave comments and this is just my way of thanks (expect it after every two chapters). Keep commenting! 


	4. Irresolvable Conflicts

  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my shocks. Don't sue.

  
A/N: heh, thought I wouldn't update, didn't cha? Haha. I did. To answer some FAQ's: 1) This will wind up a G/M, if you haven't figured it already. Sorry if you don't like that idea, but it happens. 2) Bra is with Ubuu, I briefly mentioned it in the first chapter and I will again in this one (briefly). 3)Marron and Trunks won't be together three months after this chapter. That is: Trunks and Marron are going to be together for like 3 more chapters (I know, I said that last time, but I forgot one important factor of my plot) so, I'm planning on splitting them around chapter seven. But, this is the last chapter they're shown _together_ really. And even in this one, they're fighting so it's okay. 4) You weren't supposed to know what was in Toby's car, some figured it out, but I never said. Sorry if it confused you. You'll know in this chapt. And, here we go:

Irresolvable Conflicts 

He ran his hands through his lavender hair and sighed with exhaustion. She hadn't called. Hadn't called him once. He jumped every time the phone rang, and that was often because it was always making noise, and still not once had it been _her_. Trunks missed her terribly, hadn't talked to her since last night, and he was literally loosing his mind. 

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe if he hadn't been so distant after she'd said she was 'tired', maybe if he'd held her instead. Dende, he couldn't deal with this, but as he reached for the phone to call her, it rang. His hand was already lifting it up before he had time to process that he wasn't dialing out, but someone was dialing him. He hoped it was her.

"Hello?" His voice was anxious and weary, filled with tiredness and hope all at the same time. But the person to answer his call wasn't the one he'd hoped it would be. And yet, he was glad of who it was. 

"Hey Trunks. What's wrong?" She got right to the point, he smiled. 

"Nothing, Pan. I was just…well I was hoping you'd be someone else." 

"Oh, someone with blond hair and crystal blue eyes?" She caught on quickly and, he wasn't sure, but there seemed to be a hint of anger in her voice. 

"Something like that. Sorry, but we haven't talked since a brief disagreement we had last night…well, it wasn't a disagreement, so much as…I don't know what it was." 

"Did you argue?" That time he was sure of the emotion in her voice, concern. 

"No, we didn't argue." He reassured her. "Nothing's wrong really, we just didn't talk. She was tired, you know." 

"I thought you two had off days, that you were spending together?" That time there was minor accusation in her speech. 

"We did, but I got called in, you know how that goes. Speaking of which, where were you last night around eight?" 

"So wait, you work and then you come home to…'talk'…and _she_ claims to betired? How does that work out?" 

"It's nothing. I said, where were you? I needed to know, eight or fifteen, and I was left to decide all by myself. Almost had a mid-life crisis five years too early." 

"Please, the middle of your life is at least thirty years away. And you're avoiding the question, I said 'how does that work'?" 

"No, _you're _avoiding the question. Where were you?"

"I was on a date." She spit the information out quickly and made an attempt to bypass it in order to ask him her same question over again, but he wasn't going to let her wriggle away so easily this time, he cut her off. 

"You were on a date?" The words danced off his lips in a playful manner that made it obvious he was smiling. "With who?" 

"You gossip like a woman, Trunks. And you're not answering my question truthfully. _How does that work_?" 

"Are you still talking about Marron? I've moved on to this mystery man you were dating last night." 

"Sorry, but he's taken Trunks, you're going to have to find another new love interest." 

"Haha. Cute. So, things went _that _well last night? He's already taken." 

"Yep, it was a fantastic date…for him and some girl named Amber. She snagged him quicker than you could blink." 

"Huh?" Trunks sat back in his chair, knowing this was going to be a long story. "A girl named Amber? Pan, you let someone else grab your man without a fight?" 

"No, actually I think it was me that was doing the grabbing. She was too busy being shoved and I guess her and Toby kind of got shoved together." 

"Wait, Toby? That's that same guy that wouldn't call?" 

"I've moved past that Trunks, why don't you?" Trunks sighed and tapped his fingers on the desk in an annoyed manner. 

"Pan, if you don't start explaining…" He let the threat linger in the air, testing his angry voice on her to see if she would fidget. 

"All right, all right." She did, he smiled to himself. About time someone started listening to him. 

"So," She paused dramatically, holding out the 'so' for as long as she could and then drawing in breath to start her story. "I bumped into Toby, who didn't call, at the University and we got to talking and he asked me out. At first I was going to say no, but then I thought about what you said to me awhile ago, you know, about sending all the guys off?" She didn't wait for him to respond, simply knew that he was nodding his head, which he was. 

"And so, I said yes. I wasn't sure if that was a good idea later…but…" She shrugged off that line of thought and continued with her story. "He came to pick me up and I rushed him out of the house before the usual stare-down could ensue. Then when I got to the car," Here she paused and he wasn't sure if she was gathering her thoughts or deciding what to tell and what to leave out. Then she resumed her speech. 

"When I got to the car there were people in the back seat. A double date, can you believe the nerve of that guy?" She asked, outrage in her voice. "He didn't even ask if that was okay with me! I knew I wasn't going to like this the second I got in the car, I even considered leaving, but, I don't know, I just didn't. Well the guy that came along, Gabriel, was his cousin, and he'd just moved to Japan. He graduated from a University in England and moved here to be with his mom; she just went through a divorce and he thought he'd help her out while he could and stay with her. Isn't that sweet?" She didn't wait for a response, only continued her ramble. "So, Toby was just trying to introduce him to a few people, help him get out of the house. So he hooked him up with this girl, Amber." Here she paused again and he could almost see her smile. 

"But, come to find out, Gabe was a lot more to my interest…" Trunks laughed, glad she had found a place to wrap that story up. 

"Tsk, tsk Pan." He shook his finger disapprovingly. "You stole poor Amber's date." 

"Yeah, but she stole mine too. We're even now." 

"So, you plan on seeing…what's his name, again?"

"Gabriel, and yes. He's rather interesting. I think we'll just be friends though." Here he sighed, letting her know that he thought that was a terrible idea. 

"Just be friends? You said he was interesting. Why not take a different turn for once and date this guy? You know, give him a chance? Take a risk? Try something new?" 

"I try new things all the time. And dating wouldn't be 'something new' for me. I date all the time too. I just think we'd be better off as friends." 

"Why?" He challenged, already knowing she couldn't give a sufficient answer. 

"Because, dating doesn't always work out, and I like the way his mind works. I think I'd get more from him as a friend." 

"Do you hear yourself sometimes? I'm just wondering. You like him and that's why you only want to be friends? _Because _you like him? That's usually grounds for dating someone. And you said you wanted to be married." He snorted sarcastically and then found that he was listening to the dial tone. "Pan?" He listened, just to be sure, but there was no one on the line anymore. She'd hung up on him. On him! He slammed the receiver down with an indignant look on his face. No one had ever had the nerve to hang up on him, other than Pan a few other times, and it was usually reserved for when he was being a jerk.

He crossed his arms and gave a very Vegita-like scowl to the phone before remembering what he'd originally set out to do. He'd been planning to call Marron, not talk to Pan. But she got him so upset that he didn't even want to consider the possibility of talking to Marron right now. Especially since even Pan thought Marron's behavior was out of the ordinary. Not to mention unfair, which left him in the same angry boat that he had been in last night. So he simply sighed and went back to his stack of papers. 

*

It had been three weeks and Trunks and Marron were still upset with one another. One fight escalated into another and then another. Both were searing about how the other didn't call after the first night, and both were seething about how the other was searing about how neither of them called. And then Trunks was yelling because Marron had 'no right to be upset' and Marron was yelling because Trunks was 'an inconsiderate jack-ass'. 

The harsh yells turned into icy silence and soft brushes of a kiss in the morning before either of them departed for work. The rough discussions turned into polite questions of one another's day and eventually spiraled into minimal coverage of the other's feelings in general. Only three weeks and their loving glances twisted into fake euphoria and anger hidden behind glossy eyes. And then it broke. The world they knew and was once accustomed to, the life that they built up and promised for each other, fell apart in a mere three months. One event after another pushing the other over the edge. And it started with Vegita…(A/n: the rest is describing the three months that 'broke' things, only the first month in this chapter though)

"Trunks, stop moaning and just come on. The sooner we get this over with, the better." Marron warned as she pulled him into Capsule. 

"I'm not moaning Marron. I only said I wasn't in the mood today." He reluctantly followed her, being argumentative as usual. And, as she had been for the past three weeks, she ignored his snappy tone. 

"As soon as this is over with…" She mumbled to herself, almost as if she were making a promise. But he wasn't sure if she were promising him or herself. What was going to happen when this was over with? He wondered. Was that some kind of threat? He shrugged and walked into the main room, already being assaulted by his mother. 

"There you two are." Bulma sighed with relief, approaching them with a smile, her eyes scrunched at the top to indicate she was upset. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show." Her hands found her hips and Trunks unconsciously backed up three steps. 

"We…we were a little busy." Marron admitted, looking guiltily from Trunks to Bulma. The blue-haired woman examined them and smiled, getting the wrong impression of Marron's confession. 

"I see." She said slyly. "_Busy_. Right." She shook her head and shrugged. "Anyway, there are books that need to be looked through in here. Trunks you can go…well, I don't care where you go…just wait until someone calls for you. I don't know…talk with your sisters or something." 

He hadn't needed more than that to push him out the door, the only thing that halted his footsteps was the last part of her sentence. Sisters? "Pan's here?" He turned his head in question with his mother, who nodded, and a smile formed across his lips. His eyes were just barely able to catch the glare Marron was shooting his way, but he pulled one of her numbers, he ignored it. 

"Great, I've been meaning to talk to her." He reveled in the fact that this statement started Marron, with his saiyan hearing he could pick up on her smart comment. 

"I'll bet you have." She replied in a mimicking voice, he didn't wait around to see if his mother had heard it, or even bother with a response. If she wanted to act childish, so could he. 

He didn't know why she was jealous of Pan, or when it started, but she clearly was. Whenever he talked to her, or about her, Marron got uncommonly quiet with a little scowl on the top of her forehead. He noticed that she and Pan never hung out the way they used to and even seemed to be avoiding each other. It was kind of a stroke to his ego. He'd never made Marron jealous before, so whatever he was doing, he didn't want to stop it anytime soon. Especially since she used all of her strength to ignore him lately. He had fun setting her off whenever he could. 

"Pan." He called out loudly as his foots traveled up the stairs. "Bra. What are you doing? Come and greet the best looking guy on the planet." Pounding steps could be heard traveling towards the stairs and he smirked. 

"Brad?…" His sister started, out of breath. "Brad Pitt is in Japan?" She let her eyes dart dangerously around the hall, in every direction, searching for something that wasn't there. 

"Haha, B-Chan. I meant, me." She scoffed and shot him and angry glare. 

"Don't mess with me that way! And _you_, the _best looking guy on the planet_? Yeah, right. I don't know who told you that lie." She turned her nose up in disgust. 

"Tokyo Journal, The Sun, Ilumina Magazine…" 

"Shut-up Trunks." This was Pan, his eyes shifted to glance in her direction. Unconsciously he noted how nice she looked. Her hair was pulled into a bun, the ends toppling over and falling down her neck. She had glasses sitting on the top of her head, clearly they weren't hers, and a soft touch of chap stick on her lips that gave them just the right shine. Her jeans weren't very tight, but they looked nice on her, and even though her shirt was a size large, it was tucked in at the front and pulled out at the back, almost teasing guys with what her figure really looked like. 

"Whose going to make me?" He felt the familiar form of his smirk fitting to his lips again and was glad that Pan was around. He hadn't seen her in two weeks, her company was being divided between him, school, her parents, and…Gabe. She hadn't stopped talking about Gabriel since she met him, _he's the sweetest_…_he's so nice_…_he is going to be a writer_…Trunks didn't care. 

It was nice that she was finally meeting someone. It was great that she was happy being…whatever she was with this guy, but it wasn't great anymore when that guy took Trunks' time away. He'd made three wrong decisions about business ventures and she didn't even care. _Be a man_, she'd said. 

"I've already proven I could take you, remember?" She copied his trademark smirk. 

"That was before, when I was overworked and tired. Now I've got all this pent up frustration, I'm pretty sure you'd loose." He walked up the rest of the stairs and stood face to face with her, trying to make his presence scare her. 

"Aw, You and Marron still at each other's throats? After all this time?" He wasn't sure if she was genuinely concerned or mocking him, because he could see a faint smile at the tip of her lips, but her eyes were sincere. 

"Yes. She's being stubborn. Won't talk to me." He sighed and pulled Pan into an embrace. "And I've had no one to complain to. I missed you Pan-pan." His voice was overly dramatic and he could hear his sister gag beside him. 

"Gross, I'm going back in my room while you two make out." She waved her hand and headed back to her room, giggling at the horrified expression Pan shot her. 

"Well, you know what they say, when they wife's not putting out, go for the best friend." Pan punched his shoulder as he laughed in delight, her anger making him feel better. 

"And who says that Mr. Briefs?" She took on a business tone, pulling her body away from his. 

"I do, Pan, I do." 

"Humph. So," She changed the subject. "Let me get this straight. Marron starts the fight _and_ she stays mad at you? What did you do? It had to have been horrible. Are you not telling me the whole truth?" 

"No. I honest to goodness, swear. I've done nothing. Apparently that was the problem. I didn't call, I wasn't considerate, I'm being a jerk. Something along those lines. But personally, I think something's upsetting her and she just doesn't want to talk about it." 

"Then why are you telling me? Talk to your girlfriend, Trunks." 

"Fiancée, Pan." 

"Just makes you look like a bigger ass when you say it that way." 

"Thanks, babe." He spoke with sarcasm, rolling his eyes, and pulled her into another hug. "How have _you _been?" He smiled at the way her hands squished against his chest, as if she were protesting against the contact. 

"Why are you still hugging me?" She mumbled into his chest, pushing away with a confused expression. 

"I've been deprived of physical contact for a few weeks." He shrugged. "How've you been?" 

"Pretty good. Busy, I guess. I didn't realize it'd been that long since we had last seen each other. I'm sorry." 

"Gabriel showing you the time of your life?" He was sure his tone was sarcastic, but he wasn't quite clear on why. Well, the bastard had stolen Pan's attention, that was worth not liking him for. 

"Not at all. Just, you know, getting to know new people. He's really nice Trunks, you should meet him sometime. I'm sure you'd like him." 

"It won't matter. As long as you like him. He's your boyfriend." 

"Tsk, tsk, Trunks. I told you he wasn't. We're trying that friends thing." 

"Yeah. And that's why you're spending all your free time around him?" 

"I've been busy doing more than just 'spending time with Gabe'. Anyway, why are you so hostile about it? You didn't get enough abuse from Marron to know better yet?" 

"I'm not being hostile, Panny. Just trying to get you to be honest for once." She had pushed past him and began to descend the stairs. His voice traveled after hers before he followed her, still teasing. "We all know it's about time you started to really date." 

"I-" She started, then paused, realizing that he was baiting her. He had been from the beginning. Trunks often liked to piss other people off when he was pissed about something. She clamped her mouth and rounded the stairs, heading-to Trunks' horror-into the main room. The women were gathered there. His mother along with Marron's mother-to _her _horror-were picking out flowers and wedding assortments. He didn't want to go in there. 

"So, Pan-pan, you thinking about taking notes for your big day? You and Gabe that serious?" He tired, unsuccessfully, to bait her again. Anything to stop her from walking into that room. She didn't halt, however, only snorted and went straight in. Trunks paused, feet dancing from the entrance and back, a weary look on his face. 

Finally he decided that he wasn't going to go in there. But his decision was in vain. Seconds later Pan was coming back, a devious glint in her eyes. 

"Your _wife to be _wants your opinion on something." She smirked at his annoyed face. 

"With what?" He asked, horrification creeping into his tone. 

"The color for the floral assortment. She's narrowed it down to four different shades of purple and six shades of blue, she wants you to decide." 

His face blanched. "Bra!" He yelled, suddenly wondering why his younger sister wasn't in the front row for this discussion. She loved girly things and she idolized Marron. 

"She's been talking to Ubuu for three hours and she still won't let him hang up." Pan tried to withhold the laughter dancing in her eyes from toppling from her lips. "You're fresh out of luck. Go on." She grabbed his hand and pulled at him but he dug his feet into the ground. She tugged harder and then sighed, letting him go. 

"Fine, Trunks. I'll just tell Marron, her mother, and _your mother _that you aren't obeying orders. Then we'll see what…" 

"Fine, fine." He relented moving his foot nearly a centimeter before stopping again. "There are _six_ shades of _blue_? That many blues exist?" 

"No, Trunks. I said she _narrowed_ it _down _to six. There was a whole book full of blue." Pan shook her head, reaching a hand up to innocently tussle his hair. 

"A book?" He didn't skip a beat as her fingers dashed into his purple strands and scattered them about his head. "You're lying. There can't possibly be a whole book about the color blue." 

"Oh, that's what _I _said, but there is." She paused as she stepped farther into the room. Marron had been standing there, watching them, and now she had the ugliest scowl Pan had ever seen the girl wear plastered on her face. Her hands moved dangerously to her hips and she bit the bottom of one of her lips, her perfectly manicured fingers twitching slightly. 

"I was on my way, Mar." Trunks sighed, knowing he was in for an earful. She opened her mouth a few times, looking angrily from Pan to him, back to Pan again, but promptly shut it after every time. She was standing in such a dumbfounded manner that it had her looking slightly like a fish out of water. Only her anger kept the laughter from pouring from each of their voices. 

"I was on my way." Trunks repeated, more annoyed by the second. But a concern was creeping into his voice that was unmistakable. Everyone in the room was dead silent. It wasn't until then that Trunks noticed the solid figure of his father, standing causally at that side of the room, arms crossed over each other, his scowl deeper than ever. It wasn't until then that the first event occurred, one event out of many that sent his life into a spiral of confusion and heartbreak. 

"Humph." Vegita moved from his static position, giving the three of them a glance. Without warning, without reason, he did something that would leave Trunks bitter for years. "I'm not going to this wedding, boy." His voice was calm, not a threat but a statement, and filled with withheld disgust and animosity. 

"What?" Trunks asked, taken back. He wasn't going? "I'm sorry, father, I thought you said-"

"I did. If you marry the blond, I won't go." 

"What do you mean by 'if', father? We're getting married in three months." 

"Vegita!" Bulma started, the warning in her tone already clear, the shrill yell high enough to break the glass in the windows. Trunks glanced at Marron long enough to notice her mouth had stopped flapping open and shut and had decided on the open position. Everyone else was too stunned to even move. 

"No, woman. I'm not going and that's final." He gave Pan a longer stare than was necessary and, considering it was Vegita, she was very aware of how odd this was. He was looking at her when it was Trunks and Marron's life he was complicating more. Almost as if he were trying send her a message with his glares. 

Marron's heart sunk and she crumpled to the floor unable to gather everything that was going on at the moment. "Mar." Trunks went into immediate action. He walked over to her and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, a loving look in his eyes. For the first time in three weeks, she returned it. 

"It doesn't matter whether he's there or not. But, listen, I'll talk to him later. Find out what that was about. Don't get too upset…Didn't you have some…flowers for me to decide something about?" She blinked a few times and stifled a cry then shook, as if just hearing him. Her entire demeanor changed from depressed to outraged in mere seconds. 

She moved her feet quickly, standing before he had the chance to gather her change in mood. "Trunks Vegita Briefs! If _you _think the fact that your _own father_ won't show up to our wedding, isn't a big deal, you are sadly mistaken mister! I _am not _going to marry you without the entire family's support behind us. You know how important family is to me. You know I can't do that!" 

"Marron," Pan spoke this time, soothing and yet harsh. "You're missing the big picture. Vegita or no Vegita, you and Trunks…you and Trunks…are in…love," Her stammers could have been concluded to one of many things. Most thought she was recoiling from the dangerous look the blond was shooting her way. Trunks didn't, Pan was too prideful to be scared of Marron, in any state. And Vegita, who was still listening by the doorway, he didn't either. 

"Two people that…that love each other…should share in that for the rest of their lives." Now she was talking rapidly, as if she were being hurt with each word and wanted to get the pain over with immediately. The way one would in pulling off a band-aid. "No matter what other people think, if you really love him, you'll marry him anyway." This last part was a dare, a challenge. And Marron heard it for what it was. 

"_Well_," She began, indignant for all she was worth. "If you're such an expert on love, Pan Son, maybe you should be the one getting married. Not me!" Hers was a challenge too, and Pan accepted it for what it was. But the words held more than just a challenge. They held a promise and Trunks heard it, his face went into hot panic, his hands already sweating. She dipped her body around and yanked up her baby-blue-leather purse, matched perfectly with her shoes, and turned defiantly toward the door.

"Marron." He stated, dangerous in his tone. "I'll fix it. I'll fix it tonight, I promise." 

"Oh, she's being such a baby, Trunks. Leave her alone. You deserve better." Pan gasped after the words slipped out of her mouth, automatically raising her hand to her lips in shock. Marron turned around, fire burning in her crystal depths, and raised her hand dangerously. She shot it forward and flesh met flesh. If Pan had been thinking clearly she would have moved her head back in feigned pain, but she was not, and she didn't pretend to be hurt at all. 

Her temper was getting the better of her and that wasn't good. When Marron was angry there was something to say about it. But when Pan was angry there was no room to even talk. She lifted her hand to retaliate, but at the last second thought better of it and lowered her arm again. She sighed, took a deep breath, and blinked her eyes a few times. Marron scoffed and turned around, neither of them trusting themselves to speak. They both knew that at this moment silence was better. 

Trunks obviously hadn't gotten that memo. His mouth shot open in protest, not sure who he was more angry with. "Pan!" He attacked first, her being his responsibility to scold for so long it was habit with him. "What's wrong with you? Have you completely lost your mind?" 

"No Trunks, I'm tired of the way she treats you. And you should be too. _Really_. If it had been me, I would have known after the second night of silence that she needed more time to grow up before we could get married. But you-" 

"That's enough!" Marron puffed her features out, making her look worse than she already had. "You tell her everything, don't you? Everything Trunks. It's none of your business what goes on in _adult _relationships. You're too young to understand it anyway." 

"Marron, that's not fair." Trunks tried to keep the peace, but he'd started with the wrong person. 

"What?" She shot him a hazardous glare before turning back to Pan. "You mean to tell me that _I'm _not being fair? Right, because everything she said was true? I'm just a bitch that couldn't be mature enough to set aside our differences so _you _wouldn't be uncomfortable? _She _had nothing to do with _anything_. _You _had nothing to do with it either." 

"What…?" He wasn't sure what she meant, or if he should respond any longer. So far, he'd only made things worse. "What are you…what do you mean?" 

"You know _exactly _what I mean. That little whore does too. If she understands you so well then marry her Trunks, marry _her_!" It was a command, not a request. She flung her hands into the air and sighed, turning around and walking as calmly as possible out of the room. He tried to grab her and stop her but the look on her face made him shiver beneath his skin. Pan was seeing red by the time everyone came back to their senses. 

"That bitch called me a whore." She mumbled, dumbfounded. 

"That _bitch _is going to be my wife." Trunks warned her language with an upsetting stare. "Have you told her something about us that you'd like to get off your chest, Panny?" He sighed, exhausted, and rubbed his hands through his hair. 

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Eighteen and Bulma were still gaping, Eighteen in a conservative way, Bulma in a loud, obvious, one. 

"Go after her, Trunks!" Bulma commanded, but Eighteen shook her head. 

"Leave her alone. Talk to her tonight. She'll have calmed down. She's stubborn but she's not stupid. And she loves you." With that she stood up and walked out, no one knowing if it was after her daughter or not. 

"You'd better fix this, Trunks. And Pan, I expected better from you!" Bulma glared. 

"How can I fix it if you don't talk to father?" Trunks tried to give her a hint. "That's what Marron was upset about. He started it, you know. Get him to agree to coming the wedding and everything will be fine."

"It won't be fine, that bitch called me a whore." Pan was still glaring, clenching her fists. "If she had been anyone but my best friend's fiancée, I would have knocked her senseless. How dare she?" 

"You asked for it, Pan." Trunks warned. "And she's not a bitch…not usually." 

"What did _I _do? Besides tell her the truth?"

"Don't start, Pan. I don't want to fight with you too. I'm going to need you right now." 

"I think the blond had a point." Vegita entered the room again, smirking and walking past them all, obviously decided that whatever he'd sought out to do was accomplished. 

"What?" Pan yelled, her voice decimals higher than Trunks would have liked, having to stand right next to her. "Are you saying I _am_ a whore? Because if you are-" Vegita's insolent chuckles were disrupting her train of thought. She paused to gape at his rudeness.

"No, woman. I'm just saying that she had _a _point." He shrugged and walked off, not bothering to offer more explanation than that. Pan turned to look at Trunks, dumbfounded, and angry that she had nothing intelligent to say. Trunks opened his mouth but she hushed him rapidly. 

"Never mind. Don't say anything. I'm going home, you go talk to your _fiancée_. And I…I'll call Gabe. He'll know what to say." She reasoned out loud, too upset and too hurt to be anything else but shocked. Her emotions were on haywire and she wasn't sure exactly what to do. Marron had been unbearable at times, hotheaded, big headed, and even a little air headed, but never had she just been outright cruel. Never had she insulted Pan like that before. Never had she snapped and hit her. They had always managed to get along, even if Marron wasn't one of the nicest friends Pan had, she was still considered a friend. Until that very moment. The moment her hand made contact with Pan's face. After that, history was written, the past couldn't be changed, the action was done and the consequences would be suffered. Not that Pan was completely innocent. She had evoked it, she knew, but that was just a slip of the tongue. She hadn't meant to utter aloud the thought she'd been harboring for so long. But she had. And Marron had slapped her. And then had the audacity to call her a whore.

They couldn't be friends anymore after that. No matter how uncharacteristic Marron's behavior had been. It had been wrong and Pan wouldn't accept her forgiveness plea when she offered it. They just couldn't be friends. Pan wouldn't allow it. She turned and mechanically walked out of the main room, down the hall, and out of the door. Leaving Capsule Corporations in more chaos than it had seen in years. 

She was sure Bulma was yelling like no other, at Vegita and at Trunks. She was sure Trunks was still standing in that same spot, wondering what he was going to do with his life now. Wondering how he was going to fix this. And she was just as sure that Bra was now off the phone, wondering what she'd missed and upset that she hadn't been able to see Pan get slapped. This was the most exciting conflict to occur since Majin Buu. And that, in itself, was a sad truth.  
  
A/N: I hope you didn't think it was too bad. I don't know about this one, I thought parts of it were kind of confusing. I apologize for that, I think I'm just rushing myself to get to the good part. I can't wait for the good part ^-^ Well, see you guys on Wednesday! Oh, and please, please, review. I'll love you forever. 


	5. Disturbing Revelations

  
Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own the characters, stop shining that bright light in my face!  
A/N: Sorry this took so long. But I had tests galore right before they let us out for spring break. But it's Spring Break now! Woohoo! So, I get to write w/o going to school all the time. (only for a week though) On the bright side of things, I finished this chapter in time enough to update tonight, love me? [don't fault me for all the grammatical errors or little mistakes, didn't proof-read, not that I usually do, I'm so lazy…so I guess you can fault me but whatever…]

Disturbing Revelations 

Trunks was glad that when he went home Marron was there. Less angry and ready to talk, eyes puffy and face frantic for answers. She was terrified that she'd ruined things with Pan. Terrified that she' d ruined her entire life over outrage that she wasn't even sure she knew why she felt. They had both apologized for what happened, though Trunks wasn't sure of what he'd done, and for nearly a month things went smoothly. But then, the second event spiraled into action. This time, Vegita was not the reason, but Goten instead…

Marron sat her cup of coffee on the counter and walked over to the phone. On the third ring she picked it up, her voice sounding happily to the person on the other end, whom she suspected to be Trunks.

"I love you." She sung out, smiling for all she was worth. 

"That's great Mar. But I'm not too fond of you right now." A scratchy voice responded, making her jump to hear it. Goten, sounding distraught again. 

"Is this about Paris still? What happened now?" She questioned, thinking back to the last time he sounded so broken hearted. Her voice held an annoyed quality to it that Goten couldn't mistake.

"Yes, Marron, this _is_ about Paris. But she didn't do it, _you_ did. _You _ruined my relationship, not her." 

"I…I what?" She asked, finding the closest kitchen chair and taking a seat. Her face blanched and she held her breath for a second. What could she have done? Her mind traveled over all the possibilities, and suddenly an irrational thought ran through her head. She brushed it aside, afraid to let it linger longer than it needed to. That wasn't what Goten meant…was it? He hadn't left Paris because of her or something like that…had he? 

"Goten…please, start from the beginning."

"No need. I can just start at the end. You'll know the rest." His voice was bitter and it was clear that whatever the problem, he blamed her for the entirety of it. 

"Okay…" She stated meekly, waiting for him to continue. 

"Paris broke up with me last night. She said she found the fact that I didn't mind her dating other men 'disconcerting' and she wanted someone who could appreciate her for who she was. She said her career was really taking off and if I wasn't ready to settle down then she was ready to move on." His voice had taken a deadly ring and Marron was squirming in her chair. She wanted to say _so what_. Wanted to ask him _who needs Paris?_ But she couldn't bring herself to form the words, could only sit in silence while he ranted.

"And I told her I was ready but she wouldn't accept that. Said my actions spoke otherwise. I told her to call you and ask you what we talked about, but do you know what she did? She walked out of my life. Just like that." 

"If she could leave you so quickly, then so what? Who needs her?" The words fell from her lips before she could stop them. He sighed and suppressed his anger, letting his words fall in light decimals rather than heavy yells the way he wanted them to. 

"You were going to walk out on Trunks because his father wouldn't go to the wedding and you were jealous of a twenty-one year old _girl_." 

"What happened between me, Pan, and Trunks has no relevancy here. You can't compare that and you know it." She shot out, sensitive because Pan still wasn't talking to her. 

"Yes it does Marron. It proves you're a hypocrite. You're a hypocrite and sometimes you're a bitch, and you know it." 

"You're one to talk, Goten. You were going to marry that bitch of a supermodel. She's the meanest person I've ever met and _you_ know it's true." 

"Marron, I don't think I can deal with you right now." 

"Goten, don't hang up." She fought frantically to steer the conversation back to where it needed to be. "I'm sorry. You're right. I was being slightly bitchy to Pan and I'm completely wrong about you and Paris." 

"No, Marron, that's the sad part; you're never wrong about anything. Except marrying Trunks, and you know in your heart that that's wrong." Before she had the chance to regain enough of her senses and ask what that was supposed to mean, he'd hung up the phone and she was left listening to nothing but the dial tone. She placed the phone back on the receiver, still gaping about what he'd said. And that was it, her peace of mind was shattered once again. 

Her system was shaken, her body was angry and her mind was confused. One sentence. One conversation. One talk and she was already questioning everything she knew to be true. She was already wondering what Goten meant. And if he meant what she'd thought he meant then was he right? And was marrying Trunks really wrong? Was she harboring that feeling deep inside but refused to admit it? Her face sunk into her hands and her shoulders rose in uneven intervals. 

For a few minutes she sat there, crying into her hands. Her palms soaked and the water ran down her wrists, up the sleeve of her fashionable shirt. She sobbed a few times and drew in a deep breath. Her heartbeat quickened and then slowed, making her unsure of what emotion she had running through her. Then she lifted her head up and wiped her eyes. And as she looked about her, she was suddenly confused with where she was and where she was going.

*

Her fingers slid slowly over the bun of the hamburger in her hands, eyes looking carefully around the place she was in. She wanted to devour the meat in her hands, greasy or not, and wondered why the thing was so small and yet was considered the biggest burger they had. Did most Americans eat like this? But then, she had to remind herself that most _humans _ate like this, and it wasn't an American-Japanese issue. 

She was sitting in McDonalds. Not her pick for a fine place to dine, but she wasn't complaining. It was the quality of her company that mattered, not the quantity they were willing to spend. And in that area she found herself rather blessed. For sitting across from her was the fourth most handsome guy on the planet - the first being her father, second her grandfather, and the third being Trunks. Sitting across from her was Gabe, brown tendrils spilling into his mystic green eyes, enchanted to make him look more than perfect. A slight dimple was pressed into his right cheek as he watch her handle the burger in her hands. 

"Don't come out much?" He teased, eyebrows lifting in a way that made her spine tingle. 

"Not in this specific restaurant, no." She smiled at him, rolling her eyes into her head and scrunching her nose in a playful way, to let him know that she didn't appreciate his teasing. When in truth she did. It made her mind wonder what she did to deserve him. He was sweet and perfect, but not in a fancy way; that way that made people fly in the other direction because they paled in comparison. More of the way that made people flock because they were honored he would even glance in their general area. 

And then a frown crept softly onto her face. For, as perfect as he was, he was nothing to her. Nothing more than a great friend. Someone she could talk with and smile with, someone she could be normal around and yet not too unguarded. Someone who hadn't known her throughout her entire life and couldn't read into her every motion as she sat there - and didn't try. But, for all this, he was not the person she was in love with. Not even romantically interested in - though, she had to admit he was more than handsome and she wouldn't be even slightly repulsed if her were to try something. 

But he wasn't for her. No matter how hard she tried. He wasn't the person that made her happy she woke up in the morning and more than willing to go to sleep at night. He wasn't the one she lived for, breathed for, moved for. He wasn't the one she smiled for, shined for, the one her heart beat for. As much as she tried to make him, mold him into that person, he wasn't and never would be Trunks. And Trunks was all she'd ever wanted. 

An impatient-ness grew deep within her and she found herself squirming in her seat, biting into her 'sandwich' with an uncomforted feeling seeping into the pit of her stomach. Why couldn't she fight this demon they called a _crush_? Why did her first love have to be so cruel? Was it every girls fate to fall in love with the one guy she could never have first and _then _meet Mr. Nearly Perfect after she'd discovered the best life had to offer? Or was it just Trunks? The only man out there that captured girls' hearts and broke them without warning or second thought.

Or…maybe it wasn't Trunks at all. Maybe it was all her. In her sociology-studies class she'd learned a little about psychology, at least enough to know that there was such a thing as what she was feeling now. A thing where girls picked the one guy they knew they couldn't have and clung to them with every fiber of their being. Wasn't it something like a defense mechanism? Maybe she was extremely afraid of falling in love so she protected herself by using comforting lies in the middle of the night. Lies like, _I can't love anyone but Trunks. He's the only one good enough for me._ Lies like, _I can't live without Trunks, he was made for me._ And, all this while - while she was searching for someone better than Trunks - she never wanted him at all. Her head was spinning and she hadn't noticed how lost she was in the conversation until Gabe leaned his head over with a gentle smile and said, 

"Have you ever been in love, Pan?" The question came without warning and she swallowed hard, almost choking.

"What brought that on?" She smiled, but her lips were crooked and it was clear that the smile was a forced one. The emotion never rested in her eyes, which seemed to have managed to become void of color within seconds. 

"I'll take that as a yes." He replied, almost laughing, but his supernatural green pools betrayed him, revealing the anger that was resting in his soul. "Who are you in love with?" He continued the pestering, the smile never lifting from his lips, the menace never departing from his eyes. He was staring into her and made no attempt to back away. 

"I'm not in love, Gabe." She responded while trying to hold back the cough that was threatening to spill past her lips; though it wasn't clear whether it was from nerves or to give assistance to the food that got lodged in her throat. 

"Right. So, what's his name?" He continued, seeming to read right into her mind.

"Gabe, I've never been in love." She persisted, taking another bite of her sandwich while keeping a weary eye on him. 

"Fine, if you wanted to me to drop it, that's all you had to say." He put his hands up in defense, noticing the way her eyebrow twitched and believing it to be dangerous. 

"I just don't want you to think I'm in love with someone. I've never been in love." She insisted yet again, though it was clear - to anyone by now - that she wasn't telling the truth. Her mouth curled into a hazardous, daring, frown and she ripped her burger apart with her teeth, taking the anger out on the meat that rested on the bun. He backed a little, sensing her resolve. 

"Haven't you ever _wanted _to be in love, then?" He tried again, tried to get her to open up in the slightest of ways even.

"No." She answered quickly. "I've never wanted to fall in love with anyone…" She started to say 'else' but was aware of how colossal that would be.

"You can't tell me you've never wondered about it." He stated as if it were known fact that everyone had, at one point or another. 

"No, love only brings pain." She informed him, tearing another whole in her nearly gone sandwich. 

He quirked his eyebrow, interested in this statement, more than any other she had uttered. "Only brings pain?" He repeated, questioning with curiosity. 

"That's what I said." She nodded in affirmation, throwing the last bit of her hamburger into her mouth. 

"And you've never been in love?"

"Yes. That's also what I said." There was a hint of annoyance in her voice as she answered this and he only repressed a smirk in amusement. 

"Then what makes you so sure love only brings pain? I've seen your family, none of them are divorced. They fell in love, they stayed happy. Well…maybe your grandma grieves a bit but I doubt she'd regret ever falling in love." 

"What's the relevancy of this, Gabe?" She chose to dodge the answer by asking a question on her own. 

"Stop it, Pan." He replied with a playful grin covering half of his handsome face. 

"What am I doing?" Half a smile filled her face as she challenged, amusement dancing in her eyes. She was good at arguing, she was going to win this. There was no way she was going to say if she'd ever been in love, or who it was with. He was just never getting that information out of her. 

"You're avoiding everything I'm asking you. Tell me what makes you so sure love only brings pain?" Then, noticing the determination that set in her features, he realized he wasn't going to win. He decided to change his tactic. "I think falling in love will be interesting. I think it's going to be the most exciting thing in my life." 

"You're always looking for adventure. But listen to you," She shook her head, fighting back the laughter. "You're talking about it as if it's a trip to the Americas. Falling in love isn't something you plan, Gabe." 

"Yeah, cause you've done it a million times." 

"What's your point?" The smile disappeared, but it was still lingering in her onyx eyes.

"You've 'never been in love' so how do you know it's not something you plan? How do you know you can't just pick one person and say 'I'm going to love you one day' and then, love them one day?" 

"That's ridiculous, the stupidest thing I've ever head in my life." She scoffed, rolling her eyes derisively. "You can't just _pick _someone to love. You have to feel things for them, there has to be a chemistry there. You're killing the romance, Gabe." 

"What's to the romance? Say there's chemistry, say you like them, what's to say you can't just up and decide one day that you're going to love them and then do just that? How do you know if you've never tried it?"

"I think you're crazy. I think love is something that happens to you, not something you happen to. If people could decide who they loved then why do couples that have been married for years break apart because things have changed?" 

"Their mindset changed Pan. They didn't have the willpower to keep telling themselves who they wanted to love. They made unconscious decisions to move on and that's what they did. But if you choose one person and decide that you're going to make it work for the rest of your life, then it will work. If you stick to that decision."

"I still say you're crazy. What happened to that one person that's meant for that one other person? The one that meets you in a crowded room from the other side and sweeps you off your feet? The one that fits you like a glove and makes your heart skip beats with simple brushes of the hand and thoughts of who he is? What happened to good, old fashioned, romance?" 

"Pan," He spoke, a goofy smile encumbering his face as he continued to stare at her. "I never knew you were such a hopeless romantic." She picked up a fry and threw it at his head, a laugh being suppressed in the back of her throat.

"Are you mocking me Gabe?" She pouted in a way that made her face look like a ten year olds, but in an adorable manner. "You must think I'm a girly-girl now." She blushed.

"No, Pan. I'm only trying to propose something." His eyes glinted in a mischievous manner and the way his lips formed the smile on his face made him seem scary for a second in time.

"What are you trying to propose, Gabe?" She asked, afraid of finding out the answer. 

"Well, we've been trying this friend thing of yours for…about…two months. I was thinking, maybe we could try something new. Now, I know what you're going to say Pan, and frankly, I don't want to hear it." He put his hand up to block off any words she was trying to send his way. "I'm trying to understand what's got you so afraid of relationships, and I don't want to push anything on you that you don't want. But I do want to warn you, I want to fall in love, Pan. I'm going to fall in love one day. And, as far as I can tell, the person I love is going to be you." She opened her mouth again but he hadn't brought down his hand, his speech was still going and she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear anymore at all. Not if it got worse than that. "I just wanted you to know that, from now on, this _friendship _is going to be pursued - from my standpoint at least - as an opportunity to fall in love." 

"Gabe, this is crazy. You can't just pick me and say you're going to fall in love." 

"I think I can, Pan. I think, if I try hard enough, I can." 

"I don't want you to." She answered suddenly, backing away from the table and knocking her drink over in the process. He stood abruptly, to avoid being splashed with the orange liquid. "You're being ridiculous and I don't want you to." Her tone had taken that of a defensive person and he was slightly confused, slightly annoyed by her reluctance. She didn't want him to?

"Why not, Pan?" 

"I already told you, Gabe." Now it sounded more like they were arguing than ever before, her voice was rough and his was equally offensive. "Love only brings pain."

"Who were in love with, Pan?" He challenged her, the anger no longer hidden among friendly smiles. 

"I'm _not in love_, Gabe." She repeated, more authority in her voice than ever before. 

"Then how do you know?" 

"We're not getting anywhere." She sighed, slamming the palms of her hands into the table, liquid from the spilled drink splashing, as she leaned over it in a menacing way. "Just drop it." 

"That's the problem, Pan. We're _not _getting anywhere." He sighed and picked up his jacket from the back of his chair. "From the time I met you it's been the same circle. You're dancing around important issues and I want to know why. What makes you so afraid of love? Why are you running so far in the other direction, and yet, you're still standing here? I can see that you're crying out for something, Pan. You're just not ready to accept what that something is yet." 

"You don't know what you're talking about Gabe. And, if I've been keeping you stationary for so long then why don't you just go find someone else to 'fall in love with'? We've only known each other for two months, I'm supposed to want to marry you already?" 

"That's not what I'm saying, Pan. What I'm saying is, you're running because you're scared. And you're scared because you've been hurt before, whether you want to admit it or not, and whether it was from being in love or not I'll never know. Maybe it was someone that was simply close to you. But whatever it was, it doesn't matter. The point is, you _are _running and pretty soon you're going to find yourself pretty lonely."

"And what is that to you? Where I find myself in the long run?"

"That's what I'm telling you. I'm not going to let that happen. You're too fantastic a person to swear off love. You're too wonderful a girl to not let someone love you. And I'm going to love you, whether you want me to or not, whether you love me too, or not."

"I still think you're crazy, Gabe." She shook her head and backed away, turning around and heading straight for the door. He was going to love her? No, she wasn't going to let him and that was final. 

*

"Trunks…I need to talk to you." She drummed her fingers nervously on the end table in her living room, listening to the phone ring again and again. Where the hell was he? After another minute she heard the ringing stop and his ragged voice come over the line, her heart paused for a moment, wondering if something was wrong, and then she breathed relief. He was just stressed. 

"Yeah, Pan?" She lifted her eyebrows in suspense, wondering how he knew she was who she was.

"How'd you know it was me?" She questioned, knowing he hadn't checked the caller id, he never did.

"It's always you, Pan." She was slightly offended by his response, as if he didn't want it to be her or he was annoyed that she called. 

"Well, I could just leave you al-"

"That's not what I meant. I just meant that…it's never anyone else. I have no other friends. Now, what's wrong?" 

She sighed, deciding to leave his statement alone and wondering how much of this she could get off her chest in one conversation, it was all so confusing. She only wished she had someone to talk to about why she was still in love with Trunks. "Gabe's wrong." She breathed, summing it all up in two words. She could almost hear him nodding his head. 

"What'd he do?" He questioned as if he knew it was bound to happen. 

"What do you mean, 'what'd he do'? Are you trying to say something about Gabe, Trunks?"

"Don't start with me, Pan. You're just trying to push my buttons, I'm not in the mood. Talk or don't talk, but don't screw with me." 

"Fine. He's lost his mind. That's what he did. He's crazy." 

"Yeah…what'd he do?" 

"He wants to fall in love with me. Says that his plan for the rest of our _friendship_. He's going to fall in love with me." 

"Okay…what'd he do?" 

"Trunks! Are you hearing me? Do you understand what I just said? He's planning on falling in love with me. He thinks I should love him too! He thinks I have issues with love, something along the lines of being afraid. He said I was afraid to fall in love." 

"Pan, for as long as I've known you, and as much as I love you, I think he's right. You're always running from things when they get too complicated. You're always trying to find the easy way out. We both know Gabe has been the longest relationship you've had, and you called that a friendship. Maybe…maybe he has a point. Maybe you _should _fall in love. Try things see if they work. Just…just be happy." 

She paused, her breath caught in her throat. For all she was worth, it sounded like he was breaking up with her. She knew the sporadic thought was preposterous but she couldn't shake it even when she tried. This was almost like 'the speech' she'd heard other girls talk about. The way he was telling her to fall in love was like he was telling her to move on. And it burnt a piece of her soul more than she'd like to admit.

Again she found herself wanting to do something just to prove him wrong. Again she found herself wanting to move on, past him, wanting to strangle his pale neck between her small, blood thirsty, fingers. Once again she was lost to the uncontrollable need to cry, but she didn't give into it this time. This time she was stronger, and she was all cried out over Trunks. 

A determination set in her like ticks to a dog's fur, and she was resolved never to loose her mind over him again. She was resolved never to push other people away because of him again. She could never have Trunks. Fate had told her that again and again. It wasn't meant to be. He only loved her friendship, he only valued her platonic company.

If he wanted her to fall in love, then she was going to fall in love. That is, if Gabe's theory really worked. If she could pick one person and _choose _to love them above everyone else. And who was to say it didn't? She had never really tried it before. If she could give her all to him, and only him, then couldn't she be happy in some shape or form?

A part of her knew that this was her only chance. With Gabe. If things didn't work out this time she would be wounded and molded forever. If her heart was broken in the smallest of ways she'd be too hurt to recuperate again. A part of her knew that this was the best offer she'd ever receive, and if she was going to make things work with Gabe she was going to have to start off right.

She sighed and reluctantly responded to Trunks, holding the phone closer to her ear as she made her resolve. "Yeah, Trunks, you're right. You know, I think I'm going to have to…talk to you later. I have somewhere to go." 

"All right, Pan. I'll see you later." She hung up the phone and sighed while twirling her fingers around each other in nervousness. Was she really ready to do this? It would mean letting Trunks go. It would mean getting past ideals that she'd been holding onto since she understood the fluttering in her stomach for what it really was. And she didn't know if she was prepared to be that honest.

Had Gabe meant anything he'd said to her? Did he really believe that he could choose one person and love them for the rest of his life, just by will over mind? It sounded crazy, completely preposterous. And what if it didn't work? Where was she left? 

A derisive snort tumbled out of her lips as she fixed her face in a frown. "The same place I started out at. No worse, no better. Just stationary." She realized that this was the only other chance she'd ever have, the only opportunity to open up and start fresh and try with someone to finally find the love she'd been missing out on all along. Maybe she'd find herself in better shoes than the ones she currently owned. Things might work out somehow. 

Slowly she pushed her frame off the chair she'd positioned herself so comfortably on and grabbed her coat. Her fingers roughly brushed her hair out of her face and then she wrapped the thin cloth around her body. Stepping out into the cold she took off in a run and before long found herself in the direction she wanted to go. 

Tiny droplets of rain splashed onto her forehead and below her eyes, making her aware of the dark clouds that loomed above her head. Until now she had been unaware of the dangerous rumble in the skies. But even the threat of a storm didn't slow her pace, her running continued and soon she found her feet meeting with it's destination. 

Thunder broke out and rain began to spatter her body until her hair fell out of it's bun and her clothes were soaked with liquid. She stuck her hand out and pressed the doorbell, nearly shivering now and hoping Gabe would be there. Hoping he would answer the door soon.

Before long the heavy oak door was swinging open and she could see the brown curls that represented his mother. Her eyes were pink and had dark rings under them that made Pan want to draw her into a hug and hold her for all she was worth. But she didn't make a move, only stood there shivering and dripping wet, unable to remember why she'd come at all. 

*

"Why are you here?" A voice rang out, feminine anger and fatigue clear in the sound.

"I wanted to apologize. I had no right to say what I did to you earlier." The counterpart answered, remorse clear in his own voice. "I was just upset, Mar. You know I was upset."

"That's not an excuse for being such a jerk to me." She sighed, putting the finishing touches on the nail she'd been painting seconds before he walked in. 

"I know. Listen, I said I came to apologize and that's what I'm doing. But I'm not going to grovel, no matter what I did, besides I meant _what _I said. I just said it wrong."

"You meant what you said?" She exploded, eyes lighting into his soul with each new word that flowed from her lips. "You meant what you said?" She repeated, with more anger than before though he wouldn't have thought it possible. "How could you come here to _apologize _and then mean what you said to offend me in the first place?" She flung her hand about and he wasn't sure whether it was out of anger or in an attempt to dry her wet red nails. 

"Marron. Listen, I don't want to get into it again. But I'm not going to be your doormat just because everyone else is. What you did to Pan was wrong. I wasn't there so I don't know how she encouraged it, but I did hear about what you said - what you did - and I don't agree with that one bit. Someone should have put you in your place a long time ago. I can't believe Trunks didn't say anything else about it." 

"You can't believe he didn't say anything?" She found herself being his mocking bird yet again, but she shook the thought away. "He was just as wrong as I was. Him with his…" She was unable to word what it was that had gotten her so upset last month, unable to say why she and Pan were no longer speaking, why her temper got the best of her. "It's not my fault." She finally concluded, reuniting with the angry feeling that welled in her breast whenever she thought of Trunks and Pan, together.

"I'm just saying you could have controlled yourself better. That's all. Anyway, where's Trunks?" His eyes danced about the room nervously and he moved back and fourth from foot to foot. 

"Don't try to change the subject on me, Goten. You're dancing around what you really want to say and I can see right through you. What is it then?" They stared at each other for a few seconds, both daring the other to move or look away, the Goten broke the silence, his voice coming out in a deadly whisper,

"If I were Pan I would have killed you." 

Marron's resolve snapped, her eyes danced with an angry expression and she was no longer able to remain calm. "That's it, Goten. That's just enough. Go ahead, say whatever other mean things you have to say and then get out. Trunks isn't here, he's at a business meeting. And I have theories to go over and work in the Lab in the morning. I don't have to deal with this." 

"With what? The truth?" He responded before he could stop himself. "Please Marron, you're going to have to face it one day. You were wrong." 

"_You _don't get it, Goten. _You _don't understand." 

"Make me understand, Marron. Please because I'm at a lost for words. I'm at a lost for comprehension." 

"Goten…" She sighed, fighting back the tears that he welled up in her eyes. Trying hard to distinguish between what she wanted to say and what she knew she couldn't. "_You _don't see the way he looks at her. _You _don't see the light that shines in his eyes when she smiles at him. The light that's not there anymore when he looks at me. _You've _never felt second best." She finished it accusingly, not being able to hold back the sneer that wanted to take hold of her face. Her eyes searched his and they didn't find the hatred that had been there only seconds ago, nor the anger. Only sadness, sadness and regret and something else…annoyance. Then he spoke,

"I feel second best every time you look at him, Mar." She couldn't find the words to respond to his statement. Wasn't even sure if she'd heard him right, and - if she had - whether or not she'd taken it right. And he was up, breaking eye contact with her, and out of the apartment before she had the chance to question anything farther. For the second time in one day Marron found herself completely confused, completely lost for words, and crying into her hands. When did life get so hard? When did growing up become so complicated? And why was her heart beating so fast, her fingers becoming clammy, her chest and stomach fluttering? Why couldn't she fight this…this…whatever it was that was overtaking her body in such a demanding way it made her feel as if she were drowning?

*

"What are you doing here this late, Pan? And while it's storming out? You woke my mother up." Gabe's voice soothed as he draped a blanket around her shivering form. His eyes locked with hers as he tried to read her emotions. "What's wrong?" His voice had a frantic ring to it as he asked this, hands snapping in her face to draw her attention back to him.

"What?" She finally asked, becoming conscious of where she was again. 

"What's wrong, Pan? Why are you here?" He asked, slower this time and with more concern. 

"Oh…" There was a long silence as she thought, he wasn't sure if she was deciding whether or not to tell him or if she was simply unsure. "I just…wanted to say…I was sorry, about earlier." 

"Wow. An apology from Pan Son? Remarkable." He joked. "No, I'm the sorry one. I think I snapped on you earlier and I shouldn't have." He rested a hand on her shoulder and smiled but she didn't return the comforting look. 

"I'm not done yet." She warned.

"There's more? It gets better?" But seeing her eyes warned him that it didn't get better. But worse. Much worse. 

"I lied." She simply stated, as if everything should have fallen into place with those two words. 

"About what, Pan?" He asked after a significant pause in speech, where he assumed she would resume her explanation but hadn't.

"You asked if I'd ever been in love. I said no." 

"You've been in love?" He asked, after another long pause. 

"I am in love." He felt his heart flutter for a second as uncertainties rolled over him in tidal waves. She could break him or make him in this moment. She could tell him that she loved him, had loved him since they met but was too afraid to show it, or she could come out and say it was someone else. His heart was telling him that it was the later, Pan wasn't much for impulsive-love-at-first-site mushiness. 

"With who?" He finally asked, hoping her response would rhyme with his question. It didn't.

"Trunks." He was in an uproar before he could stop himself, standing up, removing his hand from her body and pacing the room. 

"Trunks. I should have known. How can you, Pan? How can you?" Disgust was painted in every crevice of his fine features as he asked. 

"What do you mean, how can I? I don't owe you anything. I can love whoever I want to love." She retorted. 

"I'm not asking you to owe me. I'm asking you to owe yourself, you're telling me you _want_ to love that creep? Granted, the only things I know about him are things you've told me. But what I've heard isn't nice at all. How can you honestly say that you love that guy, that you _want _to love that guy?" 

"Well, _sorry_." She stood up as well, looking at him through dark eyes. Eyes that were angry and pleading for understanding that the same time. "It's something I grew up with." 

He paused, looking at her to make sure she was serious. She was. He laughed, despite himself. "Love isn't something you grow up with Pan. That's ludicrous." 

"Oh, and your idea isn't? Picking someone and loving them forever, that isn't ludicrous?" His smile was wiped away at that, as he remembered his pledge to fall in love with her. In truth, he'd only made that speech to warn her, he was already falling in love with her. And now she was throwing it in his face?

"I'm sorry, Gabe." Came the second apology from her that night. He sighed, knowing he wasn't really angry with her, just hurt. And very prideful. They were alike in that one quality at least. 

"So, you came all the way here to tell me that you love Trunks?" 

"No. I just got upset with your reaction. I already apologized. I came all the way here to tell you - and you were right - that I don't _want _to love him." 

"That's nice." Came his terse response, cold and unfeeling. She sighed. 

"You're not understanding me. I came here to tell you that I liked your idea. I thought, maybe you were right, and if you are I'd like to try. I'd like to pick you, Gabe and see if things work out that way. That happily ever after way." 

"Pan, you're still such a baby." He snorted, not trying to upset her but succeeding anyway. "You were right. That idea is stupid, it was crazy of me to even suggest it. You can't pick someone to love. Love has to happen to you, not the other way. If you could choose, you wouldn't love Trunks. There's my proof. Now, go home." 

"Gabe, why do you have to be so damn difficult all the time? I'm saying I'd like to give it a try. I'm saying that maybe our 'friends' title has been overestimated. I'm opening my heart to you - which rarely happens for anyone - and you're sending me home. Why is that?" 

"What you're _saying _Pan, is that you'd like me to settle for being second best. What you're _saying _is that you could never love me, but you're willing to settle for me because you couldn't have first place prize. What you're asking me to do is ignore the fact that you're in love with someone else - have always been in love with someone else - and enjoy the fact that I'm getting the _privilege _of seeing a side of you that only _he _has seen before. And what I'm saying is no thanks." 

She turned away from him, unable to deny or argue anything that he'd just said, and ashamed that he was so aware of what her mouth was silently uttering in between the lines. She wanted to be hurt by his words, and she was to a certain degree, but more than anything she was hurt by the truth. She couldn't love anyone else. She was incapable of it. She couldn't be more than friends with anyone no matter how hard she tried. And it wasn't just Trunks that stopped her, or her love for him, it was everything that was stacked against her. It was her entire mentality and her only hope of changing that had just told her to 'go home'. 

Her feet moved across the floor, her head hung low, as she walked past the entry way and out of the house, into the pouring rain. She felt stupid and used for coming out here like some foolish high school girl. And she felt even worse because she was leaving poorer than when she'd come. And the blanket that was still draped around her shoulders served as a reminder of how idiotic she had been this night. It was all Trunks' fault. She resolved, not aware of the hand rested itself roughly on her shoulder, as if the owner was in a haste. 

That hand spun her around, and as she opened her mouth to yell, or protest, her words were silenced by lips enclosing hers. His arms wrapped around her body and pulled her in, letting his tongue explore the outside of her lips as she shifted uncomfortably. She pulled her head away from his and looked into his green eyes, scared and unsure of what he was saying. 

"I'm sorry Miss Son. Sometimes I'm a bigger jerk than _he _is." He told her, emphasizing the 'he' so that she would know he was referring to Trunks. 

"That's fine Gabriel Henson, you get pardoned tonight, but only because I'm in such a forgiving mood." He leant his head down again, pressing his warm lips to her skin. Her own lips responded automatically, unsure of whether the kiss he planted on her was welcomed or not. But she supposed she had to try. She couldn't have Trunks, that had been made painfully clear throughout the years, so why not experience what life had to offer? Gabe was a nice person, and not that bad of an alternative. And, if he would have her - which clearly he would - he wouldn't make that bad of a boyfriend, maybe more. 

Because she knew she'd never love again. Had never felt anything with more certainty than that revelation, and it scared her senseless. Maybe Gabe would spark feelings in her she had forgotten how to feel with anyone else. Maybe…

  
A/N: okay, what'd you think? Review and let me know. And don't hate me for this Gabe/Pan thing that's going on. It has to happen more than the T/M, it's all relevant to the plot. But I'm not going to talk about 'the plot' anymore, because I'm making it sound better than it is. It's not great at all, really, just an ordinary-everyday plot to get them together. ^-^ Anywho, I hoped you liked it and, once again, sorry it took forever. -hugs-


	6. What's Come Over Me?

Hmm, this would have been updated earlier this evening, but the second I was ready to upload fan fiction started to be a jerk to me and wouldn't work -tears- anywho, here it is…

  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters. If I did, I'd already have a car. I don't own the italics during Marron's part either, they belong to Ashanti and whoever else collaborated in that song. (What's come over me)  
  
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. It's just…you don't understand! This was the hardest chapter I've had to write, it was like pulling teeth. So, if you read it and you're like, 'gah, get to the good stuff already' don't yell at me. It has to be in here. It's building character development, and you'll appreciate it all the more in the end. Treat this chapter like you would the beginning of a novel, tolerated long enough to get to the interesting stuff.  
Anywho, I hope it doesn't suck too much. And next chapter Marron's leaving Trunks! Woohoo!

What's come over me?

"You mean it? Never?" The words came out in a way that made it hard for her to believe he was trusting her speech. She shook her head, a coy smile playing on her lips, head wondering why the news was so shocking. 

"No, I never have." Her voice filled his ears as she stretched back on the couch, leaning her body in a way that made his eyes wander and his train of though falter for a second.

"Not when you were younger and the weather was nice out? Never?" He didn't seem to be capable of accepting the information that she was offering him, as his green eyes glinted carefully studying her face. Apparently he believed she was lying, or something as drastic, perhaps playing a harmless ploy on his easy character-flaw of gullibility.

"Honestly, Gabe. You can go ask my dad if you don't believe me." She pointed her finger to the figure in the other room. Hair still styled up, glasses in position, body tilted over a pile of papers in deep concentration. His interest sparked at the mention of him from a party in the other room, but he didn't look in their direction, knowing explaining how he'd heard his name would be easier imagined than done. 

"No, I just wanted to make sure you weren't pulling my leg." He studied her for a few more seconds and, being satisfied, nodded his head wildly.

"I'm not." She finally offered, a little taken back by the way his head was bobbing, the glint in his eyes that was saying he was searching for adventure again, easily making her squirm.

"Fine," He stated, coming to a decision already. "I believe you." He lifted his body up from the chair in which he'd been positioned, diagonally from her, and pushed his feet in her direction. His arm reached out, his hand silently offering her help from her comfortable position on the furniture. 

"What do you want?" She questioned cautiously, taking his hand with a weary eye. 

"Well, for starters, I'd like to know why your parents were cruel enough to deprive you from the simple joys of childhood." She giggled, finding it hard to explain without _explaining_. She couldn't very well say, _what's the point in wasting my time on something like that? I know how to fly, stupid._ That would only lead to catastrophic explanations and confusion. Better to avoid the heavy load of questions all together. 

"Sorry, I guess they're unimaginative and uneventful, horrible alien impersonators that took over my real parents' bodies when I was a baby and have been boring me to death ever since."

"Ahh, their evil plan nearly succeeded," He whispered in her ear, causing a shiver that was both inviting and unpleasant to creep up and down her spine. "But never fear, Gabe Henson is here to rescue you." 

"And not a moment too soon. So, lover boy, what are you proposing to rectify my complete inadequacy in the subject of child play and having significant fun?" 

"The doctor is ordering a dose of friendly winds and some running along the beach."

She smirked, laughing at his crazy attempt at a French accent. "Really? And all this time I thought you were a writer." He was still holding on to her hand, guiding her through the living room and past her ever curious father. 

"Yes, but I am a man of many talents. Therapist, friend, associate, writer, doctor, soul mate…Just take your pick, my lady and I will mold into whatever you want me to be." 

"Why don't we stick with the traditional Gabe Henson for now and see where the fates lead us." She answered back, just as slyly as he had attempted to be seconds before. He'd been trying, unsuccessfully, for the past month to goat her into admitting she wanted something more from him than what she was getting. And why were things always moving so fast with him? Why did he have to find adventure at every corner, and risk embarrassment at every turn? And why did he insist on being the one for her when she'd told him time and again that she didn't need a 'one', she'd found the love of her life once and he'd found someone else? 

Worse, yet, she just couldn't bear the thought of hurting him. Along with the fact that, though she hated to admit it, his persistence was wearing down her walls. She found herself wondering at times, if maybe she could let herself go. If maybe she could fall in love with him because she'd never have anything better, because she'd never wanted anything more, and if she was looking for the best…to put it bluntly…this was as good as it got.

Gabe was perfect in the very essence of the word. Every piece of her mind screamed of him as flawlessness, everything except the thing that clung onto Trunks as the epitome of excellence - the only thing that couldn't be improved upon. Why was she so fixated on a symbolism of a man whom she could never lay her hands upon? Why was she so damn curious about a question to which she would never know the answer nor even come close to understanding the equation? Everything was so confused and muddled inside her head that it seemed as if she were at a stalemate with her mind. As if she weren't making any kind of improvement, only more of a decline, and she was becoming more and more frustrated with the fact that the harder she tried to fall out of love, the harder she fell. 

And the more she tried to love the right person, the worse things got…Goten and Trunks had just walked in the house. Her hand was still resting with Gabe's and she felt a guilty sort of burn in between her fingers as she looked at Trunks' face. Gabe had stiffened slightly, still not forgetting the night she'd run to him in the rain admitting her deep rooted love for a man fourteen years older than her. A man whom used to baby-sit her. A man who completely ignored her existence, from what Gabe could tell, and took her friendship for granted - assuming it would always be there. A man who had no right to look at her the way he was looking at her now - anger a jealousy a pure admittance of his mind's thoughts. Gabe's fingers tightened around her hand as he pulled her along, the smile never lifting off his face. 

"Hello Goten…and Trunks, I presume?" His eyebrows lifted curiously and he was sure Trunks read his anger in the way he gripped Pan's hand again.

"Hey, Gabe." Goten answered lightly, as if seeing him were a usual occurrence in his everyday life. This only served to make Trunks more upset than he already was. His blue eyes lightly traveled from Goten to Pan and then, finally, onto Gabe. Reluctantly he answered. 

"That's right. It's nice to meet you, after all the talk this one's done about you I thought I'd never see the day." He was reluctant with his words, and it was clear he was only being nice for the sake of being nice. His eye's lingered on Pan's as he said 'this one's' and they were dancing between amusement and annoyance. She squirmed again and tried to pry her hand away from Gabe but he wasn't letting go. 

For some reason, unknown to Gabe, Goten was watching Trunks closely and clutching his fists open and closed. He supposed it was the fact that Pan was Goten's niece and he loved her more like a younger sister than anything, and he was sure Goten could clearly see the anger in Trunks' face. Anger that could be lighted from nothing but pure jealousy and the want of his little 'sister'. If Pan thought she couldn't have this man, she was clearly mistaken. But Gabe wasn't going to take the chance of her figuring that out. He'd invested too much time with Pan to watch this man snatch her from between his fingertips. He'd tried too hard to break whatever curse Trunks had put over the girl's heart to capture it so intently. He wasn't about to watch everything fall apart in front of his face for some envious eyes from an unrealized man who couldn't discern his true emotions, let alone accept them. 

"Yeah, I think I've heard just as much about you." Undoubtedly more, Gabe's mind added with a twinge of hatred lingering at the tips. "And I was beginning to wonder, myself, if I'd ever see you in person." He could hear Pan's nervous chuckle by his side. No doubt picking up on all the heavy tension in the room. 

"So…Gabe and I were just…leaving. We'll….we'll see you guys later I guess." She chuckled again and he could feel bits of perspiration form in her palm. A sigh erupted from his throat as he realized her discomfort and, having no desire to make her in any way inconvenienced, gave up on trying to beat out Trunks. His macho game ended as quickly as it started as a genuine smile overtook his features. 

"Well, it was pleasant running into you gentlemen, but as Pan informed you, we have to be going." He shrugged slightly, as if disappointed by the news, and then looked to her silently asking if she were ready. 

"Where are you crazy kids off to?" Gohan piped up, finally lifting his head from his papers long enough to notice the murderous stare his daughter's boyfriend was receiving from her overprotective 'best friend'. Pan chuckled to herself again, but this time not out of nervousness. It was clear, to her, that Gohan knew where they were going. His hearing had picked up on every bit of their conversation, as she was sure he hadn't even tried not to hear, but she was glad that he at least had the decency to pretend he'd allowed her privacy with Gabe. 

"Well, Gabe discovered that I'd never flown a kite. I guess we're going to do just that." She shrugged, looking to Gabriel for some support in her case, he had never told her flat out exactly what he'd planned to do. He nodded her questioning into truth, and gave a small tug on her hand. 

"Yeah. I think we'll go down to the beach and give it a try. You don't get many windy days like this one." He shrugged from what could only be equated to nervousness and began to walk as Pan's feet traveled ahead of his, telling him he didn't need to stand in the heavy atmosphere of the room any longer. 

The second the door had shut behind them, Gohan couldn't resist the urge, a playful smile curved onto his lips as he turned in his chair to fully face Trunks. 

"What was that about?" He wiggled his fingers in between the place where his brother and Trunks were standing back to where his daughter and her boyfriend had been seconds ago.

"What?" Trunks asked, as innocently as possible, looking to Goten for support. The man only snorted and turned away from him, anger and annoyance clear in his face. "What?" Trunks repeated again, this time taken back, true emotion in his voice, and directing the comment to Goten, not Gohan. 

"I get the distinct impression that you harbored a quantity of malicious intent for the young man who was just standing in my living room." Gohan mused, looking back down to his papers, the devious glint never leaving his black pools. 

"That's ridiculous, I've never even met the man before." Trunks tried to shrug it off, walking past Gohan and into the opening for the kitchen. 

"My thoughts exactly." Gohan muttered, as Trunks was just barely able to pick it up.

*

"All right, so just take the string like this," He paused wrapping the string of the kite around his hand in the manner he wanted her to copy. "And give it a good push off the ground." He pushed the flimsy paper up and smiled, looking intently into her confused face. "I can't believe you've never done this before." He spoke, finally, astonished with the fact in itself. 

"I just don't see what's so exciting about it." She responded, looking at the kite intently as it caught onto the wind. "I mean, so what? You're running around with some paper attached to a string?" 

"Oh, you make it sound so appealing." Gabe teased, beginning to run a little, to keep the kite in the air. "Come here. You've got to try it." Pan sighed and lifted her body from the stone she'd been sitting on, afraid to admit that she found the idea of flying a kite slightly…curious. Maybe even a little fun…but just a little.

"All right, now what do I do?" She stood in front of him, waiting for step-by-step directions." He shoved his hand in front of her, offering the reel of string. 

"Just take it and run. When you feel it's appropriate, let more string out." She cautiously took the reel from his hands, examining it as if she'd never seen such a peculiar object in her life.

"Run, Pan, or it's going to fall." He informed her as her feet responded automatically with his command. The wind took hold of the kite and she found herself chasing it, running like an idiot to keep a piece of paper properly in the air. One side of her wanted to scream at how stupid it was, and the other, more playful side of her wanted to laugh at how amusing it promised to be. The kite dipped and her heart raced, for a second she felt as if she were losing control and the diamond paper would fall to the sand. But she picked up speed and the kite never even came near the ground. A smile spread over her face as she ran in circles, looking up foolishly at the form of her delight. 

"Are you having fun, Miss Son?" She heard Gabe's mocking voice ring in her head as she ran around him again. She nodded, never breaking eye contact with the kite, never loosing speed. 

"Only a little." She called out, reluctant to admit that the prospect of keeping something in the air, of moving it around while it flew, of controlling something that way, was slightly amusing. If she didn't already know how to fly, and if she didn't have superhuman powers, this would be one of the best experiences of her life. 

But that was silly. It was just a stupid kite. A piece of diagonally shaped, paper-thing plastic that was attached to some decorative string to make little kids think it was pretty. And she was honestly enjoying something so trivial. She was vaguely aware of the movement Gabe's foot had made to invade her little circle, but she was so lost in her thoughts that she noticed to late. She took a tumble over his shoe and fell face first in the hot sand. 

Soon the kite was landing on her back and she sighed, pulling herself up, a bemused look on her face. Quickly that look took one of more anger than puzzlement, and her hands found her hips, along with the reel of string and all. 

"Why'd you trip me?" She demanded, fighting the smile that wanted to overcome her features at the childishly guilty look that played on his face. 

"I'm sorry, what?" He unsuccessfully pretended not to know what she was talking about, in a sad-failed attempt to trick her. 

"You heard me." She stalked up to him, a dangerous 'anger' in her eye. 

"Yes, I heard you. But I've yet to come up with a reasonable explanation. Until I figure it out, I think I'll play dumb." Her hand struck out as he finished his statement, softly nudging him to fall, which he did, his sandy brown hair mixing with the small pebbles on the beach. 

"Ouch, Pan!" It hadn't really hurt, she knew, and he reached his hand up to draw her body down with his. She willing collapsed onto him while laughing to herself. He always seemed to find a way to make her smile. His fingers started to twirl at her waist and she found herself laughing more. What was he…oh, he was tickling her.

She tried to hold in some semblance of control as his fingers worked around her stomach, making her laugh harder despite herself. Finally, with tears sliding out of the corners of her eyes, she had the strength to stick her arm out as well. Her fingers found his gut and began to work, making him join the fit of laughter she was already filling the beach with. 

"That's enough." She softly pleaded, seeing he wasn't going to stop when her fingers headed. 

"Say uncle." He commanded and she was more confused than ever. 

"Why?" He chuckled and tickled her sensitive sides one last time. 

"Because that's what you say when you give up." He shrugged. "You're so deprived." 

"Oh, shut up." 

*

__

…I already have a love, he's all I know and all I trust. But lately I've been falling out of love. I find myself so deep in lust. And every time he's here with me, I look into his eyes so desperately. But now it's not his face I see. Tell me what's come over me…

An impossible rush of emotions flowed over her as her puffy eyes stopped on a picture of someone she'd rather not be thinking about at the moment. She wasn't sure what she felt. She wasn't sure why she felt it. And, worse of all the insecurities that were filling her head these days, she wasn't sure if she could fight it. 

She'd tried very hard. For at least a month she'd tried. But things weren't working the way they should have been working and she wasn't feeling the way she should have been either. She was feeling tired, worn down, and completely cut off from society. Pan was still ignoring her like she was the plague - she really couldn't blame the girl much - and Goten hadn't talked to her since he flipped her life upside-down. Not that she needed to see him to think about him.

She was thinking about him at that moment. He was with her fiancé as she thought. And the thought of them being together only brought her back to place she started in. Distraught and falling into broken pieces. For as much as she had tried - every day, every second of her life since that second he walked out of her living room - things hadn't gotten better. They had only gotten worse. 

She felt farther from Trunks than she ever had. And she was more than sure he was running to tell Pan every detail of their relationship. But, with some odd turn of fate, it didn't matter to her anymore. The thought of Trunks and Pan only brought a small feeling of discomfort instead of the roll of thunder and lightening it had stirred within her only a month before. How could things drift so far away so quickly? How could she be so void in only thirty days? 

And her wedding was nothing more than a mere week away. The thought filled her heart with crazy thumping and forbidden despair. She had honestly tried, she kept telling herself. And things weren't going the way she'd planned. When Goten had walked out of her living room it had left her in turmoil and complete peril, it had left her empty and terrified and dazed, and she was lost as to what to do next. She had promised herself that, no matter what emotions stirred within her soul, she would love Trunks. She would try harder, she was smile wider, she would kiss deeper, she would love Trunks. 

They had had the most intimate moments this past month and it had stimulated nothing within her. It had changed nothing. It had rectified nothing. She was still terrified, dazed, and empty. More empty - void - than anything else. She had spent countless nights staring into his eyes, his crystal depths, desperately trying to conjure something that wasn't there. Desperately trying to make him into something he wasn't. She'd spent countless nights trying to love him. To make herself comfortable with him. To make herself want him. But just as many times as she tried, his face disappeared before her eyes, his azure gaze dissolved into deep chocolate and his lips were no longer his anymore. 

Maybe it was lust. Maybe she only wanted to feel what Goten was, within her, near her, beside her. Maybe she only wanted to taste his lips once. Maybe she was crazy for something she didn't have simply because she didn't have it. Maybe it was wrong…no most indefinitely it was wrong. But it didn't matter because….because she liked it. As painful as it was for that thought to run across her head. She liked it. It was wrong, she had a love. And he was everything she'd ever trusted, ever known. But she wanted something else. And she _liked _it. That feeling that welled inside her stomach and chest, that undeniable, unavoidable, explicit want that filled her body and soul. So what if it was wrong, she _liked _it. She _wanted _it. 

And her wedding was nothing more than a mere week away. What was she going to do? She couldn't very well say, in front of a room full of people, that she was going to love one man when she was already feeling like she could only love another. This was crazy. She sunk deeper into her chair, too tired to cry, too weak to fight it anymore. She was in love with her fiancé's best friend. And what could she do about it? 

Nothing really. Goten was Trunks' best friend. And she couldn't very well tell Trunks that she wasn't ready to marry him, eight days before she was supposed to marry him. Not only would it be inconsiderately selfish and unimaginably crude, it would be embarrassing. For him and for her. To have to tell family and friends things weren't going to work out. To have to look into his eyes and admit that she didn't love him, after months of professing just the opposite. But…wasn't it selfish and crude to marry someone when you really loved their best friend? 

Maybe she needed more time to think this out. No, there wasn't a maybe about it. She did need more time, she simply didn't have it, though. She didn't have time. She needed to make a decision and it needed to be a quick one. It needed to be one she wouldn't regret for the rest of her life. One that wouldn't make her ask 'what if' after every turn of the corner. Constantly wondering if she should have done something else for as long as she lived. But she didn't know what to do.

Could she really bare seeing Goten live his life without discovering what he'd meant by what he'd said? Could she risk her entire future - her comfort, her caring fiancé, her best friend - on finding out what Goten had meant? And what if Goten didn't even know? What if she called everything off for a statement that was misinterpreted. But…what if she didn't call things off, and he'd meant what he said? Meant it in the way she heard it and understood it? Then what? It would be too late to change her mind then and she'd be left with a man she didn't love with all her soul. 

And when had she decided that she didn't love Trunks with everything she had? It seemed like she'd been going through these same motions over and over in her head. Forever maybe. Even though she knew it had only been a month. Only thirty days. And already she was about to flip her life in a way of which she could never make things change back again. 

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair and coming up with a decision. She couldn't do it. She wasn't going to tear apart everything she'd built up for four weeks worth of over analyzing and confusion. She wasn't going to break up a life long friendship between two people simply because she was unsure and had cold feet right before her wedding. This was normal behavior, she'd read about it - even studied it once - for a bride to feel like she was making a big mistake before she walked down the isle. After all, if she didn't question things then she'd know she was fooling herself. Because nothing was perfect. Not this, not her, and definitely not Trunks. Not even Goten was perfect. She just…

She wasn't going to call off this wedding. That would have been a huge mistake, she decided. She was just being stupid. Silly, incredibly silly. And even if she wasn't…no, she was…but if she wasn't…? If she wasn't being silly, it didn't matter. Because Trunks loved her and she had no reason to dispute that. As long as he was completely devoted to her, mind, body and soul devoted, it didn't matter. She could learn to love him again. Learn to be happy with him again. She was, after all, moderately satisfied with him. Always had been. So, things would be just fine. As long as there was no reason to challenge his love for her….

"Things will be just fine." She repeated aloud, for good measure.

*

Pan pulled her hair back, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. She couldn't believe she was doing this. And for what? She pulled the bottom of her dress down, trying unsuccessfully to cover more of her leg. She was going out like this? For him? Or was she doing it for _him_? She was in a dress, something she swore she'd never do if she could help it. Well, not really swore…but she hadn't ever just gone out in one before. It had taken three strong women and three powerful scowls to get her into the last dress she wore, and even then she was only in it for thirty minutes.

But this time was different. It was for Gabe…or that's what the voice in the back of her head was whispering to her. Her conscience knew it was really for him…for Trunks. He was sitting downstairs. He was scowling and hating the fact that she was going right back out with Gabe, again. He'd stuck around her house all day, just wondering when she'd get back and she really wasn't sure why. Maybe it was his overprotective I'm-not-really-your-brother-but-I'll-pretend-to-be, arrogance that had him acting like he hated the ground Gabriel walked on. Maybe it was the fact that she'd spent more time with Gabe lately, more time than she had with Trunks. Jealousy seemed to fit the description of what he was, but she wasn't at all sure. And that's what made her do it. She wanted to be sure. She wanted to know.

And if he was jealous, an evil side of her wanted to egg it on. She liked the thought that he was affected by what she did with her time; even if he was only bothered because she was his friend, and it meant nothing sexual at all. At least he cared in some way and that made her happy. But…happy enough to wear a dress? She sighed, supposing it was the combined influence of Trunks and Gabe that got her into this dress. And what a dress it was.

It fit her nicely, sleeves dipping off her shoulder but just slightly so. The black fabric hung loosely, but not too loosely, and every curve was accented in it's own special way. The scoop-neck made a modest plea for attention, and Pan felt very uncomfortable in it. It was one of the many dresses she'd been given for Christmas gifts or birthday gifts from Bra, or Bulma, or her grandmother. They were forever trying to make a 'lady' out of her.

All right, it was time. She mentally prepared herself, walking out of her room and towards the stairs. She placed her hand on the stair rail, walking casually down the stars as if nothing were different. The dress swiveled around her knees as she stepped off the last step and turned into the living room. Her breath caught, she was anticipating the worse. 

Though her mother and grandmother had already seen her, had already confirmed that she looked 'lovely', she wasn't at all sure what the men would think. As she rounded into the living room it went deftly silent and Pan watched as the three men that were sitting in it got to their feet. 

"You look…_absolutely gorgeous_, darling." Her father's voice rang through the air. "I'm not letting you out of the house like that." She flushed, glancing at her father briefly before returning her gaze back to the face of the one person whose opinion mattered more than anyone else's. 

Trunks was sure his mouth was hanging open in a fashion that made it visibly clear what his mind was thinking. He was just as sure that soon Gohan would be breaking his fragile bones, after noticing the look. But he couldn't help it, couldn't wipe the shock off his face. Saying she looked simply 'beautiful' didn't do her justice at all. She was absolutely, completely ravishing; so gorgeous he couldn't find the words to describe it. As her eyes locked on his he promptly shut his mouth, trying to hide his astonishment and adapting a look of indifference instead. 

He was most certain she saw through him tough, and the smile that played on her lips after that was enough to make him want to do things to her he shouldn't be allowed to think at all. A guilt waved over him, and whether it was because he felt he was betraying Marron or had wronged Pan, he wasn't sure. He diverted his eyes to the wall nervously. 

"Yeah, you look nice Pan." Trunks responded, knowing nice was the understatement of the century. 

Her face fell as the words traveled off his lips. Nice? She only looked nice? She wasn't sure whether she believed that was his true emotion or not, but it didn't matter. She'd put so much energy and time into looking her best. In the hopes that maybe, just maybe he would think of her as something more than a baby, and the only thing he had to offer her was 'nice'? Her lips twitched at the corners as she continued to stare at him, mentally murdering him for the way he was behaving. He was supposed to be the one flustered, he was supposed to be the one uncomfortable. He was supposed to be seeing her for who she really was for the first time in her life. This was supposed to be her magic moment and she got 'nice'. A glower was about to take over her features but her faithful uncle chimed in to restore her broken confidence. 

"Nice? That doesn't begin to cut it, Trunks! All this for Gabe?" Astonishment was clear in his voice as she blushed, quite delightfully, noticing the angry shade of red Trunks' cheeks were turning.

"Yes." She answered pleasantly, relishing in the way Trunks frowned. Goten raised his eyebrows suggestively at Pan while her father growled low in his throat. 

"I don't know why…but I got the impression that tonight was special for him." She grinned again as she heard Trunks snort and roll his crystal eyes deep into his head. Goten gave him a side glance, anger present in most of his expression, and Pan silently wondered why he was being so hostile towards Trunks this evening. 

"What kind of special?" Her father questioned wearily, looking as if he might be sick. "You don't come home with any holes where they don't belong, any kids, or any bad habits - habits you didn't have before you left. Understand me?" He announced ominously. Pan tried to laugh and hide the embarrassment she was feeling from his speech - she'd never been given 'the talk' before a date before - but the laughter got caught in her throat.

"Don't stay out too late." Goten teased, wriggling his eyebrows again, glancing from Pan to Trunks who was trying to force the laughter out as well. Seeing he wasn't going to be successful, he gave up and settled for the scowl that was easiest to rest on his face. 

"Just don't go out." She heard him mumble, and part of her couldn't resist commenting. That part of her that had dressed up in order to see him smile with delight or cringe with jealously. That same part of her that had felt belittled and hurt when he responded to her attire as merely 'nice'. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that Trunks. Mind repeating?" She knew his smirk was resting on her lips, but she couldn't help it, she couldn't fight it off.

"Um, nothing love." He shook his head, fighting unsuccessfully against the blush that covered the place underneath his eyes. She could see the reluctance there, finally she could see the uneasiness. It was jealousy, there was no doubting that. And there was even a little anger. The question wasn't _what _was there, but why was it there? Why was he jealous and angry, why was he behaving this way? A part of her wanted to dance and celebrate, already believing it was because a part of him wanted her in some way. If only for possession sake; she knew saiyans were very possessive of what they deemed to be 'theirs' and she didn't mind being his at all, even if it was just 'his' friend. But a more sensible side of her mind told her she was being silly and Trunks didn't want her in any kind of way. 

It didn't matter, though, because her heart was fluttering. All he had to do was say the word and she would drop all her plans. Just repeat that request loud enough to be sure she heard it, and she _would _stay home. He wouldn't have to ask again, if he'd only just ask _her _to stay, and not the air close to his face while mumbling beneath his breath.

Her eyes lingered on his for a moment longer, silently pleading with him. Just one question. Repeat it, Trunks. She mentally willed him to ask her not to leave but his lips never parted again. The doorbell was ringing and she broke her eyes from his to glance in the direction of the entryway.

"Gabe's here, I don't want to keep him waiting." She walked over to her father and quickly kissed his cheek, doing the same with Goten and Trunks - letting her lips linger slightly longer on the lavender haired saiyan's than was necessary. Just ask. Her mind repeated as she headed for the door, gripping the knob slowly, looking back to give him the final opportunity. 

"Pan," Trunks called after her as she read the emotion in his eyes. They were asking her not to go. _They _were pleading silently for her to walk back in the room, back into his life. But his voice betrayed the emotion, speaking a dull, "Have a nice time." She nodded, not bothering to hide the disappointment in her onyx optics as she opened the door. 

"God Pan." His breath caught in his throat as she stepped into his direct view. "You look…you look like an angel. Mere words wouldn't do you justice, couldn't describe how lovely, how perfect you are." His elegant voice rang through, tentatively reaching out to capture her in a warm embrace. He thought better of it, however, as he neared her body. "I don't think I'm worthy to touch such a creature." He whispered into her ear, noticing the slightly hurt look in her eyes as she realized he wasn't going to follow through with the hug.

"You're being ridiculous, Gabe." She tired not to seem too pleased with his words as she shoved him out of the door. "Quick, before daddy decides he wants to harass you." She whispered, smiling over herself at the compliments - words she'd hoped her demi-saiyan in the other room was going to fill her ears with. "Where are we going?" 

"Ah, that _is _the question." He mused, placing his hand on her back to lead her towards his car, still unable to believe how dazzling the girl that was to be his company was. "And you only call me ridiculous because you're not seeing you from those glorious eyes of yours." 

"Stop complimenting me, you're making my face hurt. It's not that great, it's only a dress." She tried to get him to change his mind, glowering as he tried to open her door - he knew she hated that - and stepping in defiantly. 

"It's not the dress that took away every man in that living room's breath, Pan, it's the girl within the dress that did it." He shut her door, despite her protests of his chivalry, and walked over to the other side, stepping in. "You could wear a potato sack and I'd still be speechless. It's that smile of yours that driving me insane. Your attitude's different today, and it's written clearly in your walk." 

"You sound like a poet sometimes, Gabe." She found nothing else to say, sighing with content for her surroundings as he started the car. "Tell me where we're going." 

"Isn't that my occupation?" He challenged, choosing to ignore her question.

"Just drive." She stated, looking ahead with annoyance, only because he could be more stubborn than she was sometimes.

*

"We're here, love." He stated as she looked about, wondering if he were sure. 

"Isn't there supposed to be some kind of fancy restaurant? Isn't there supposed to be something more than just…sand and water?" 

"You've never been to the beach, Pan? I mean, didn't I take you to the beach earlier today? I'm sure you've seen one before." 

"What I meant, Gabe, was…Well…I'm in this dress. And I just. I thought-" She cleared her throat, feeling foolish and trying again. "I was under the impression that…well." A sigh fell from her lips as she looked into her lap. "It doesn't matter." 

His hand traveled to her cheek as he softly pulled her face level with his. "Always the romantic, are we?" He smiled warmly, knowing she was being completely earnest with her feelings and not wanting to set her off. "Well, I don't know, I think this place is special. If you'd follow me." 

He stepped out of the car and moved quickly to her side, not wanting her to open the door for herself. He was going to break her of that particular habit if it killed him. It's not that he didn't want her to do anything for herself, just little things, certain things, women deserved to be pampered sometimes. He wasn't trying to be chauvinist and soon she was going to realize that. 

As she stepped out of the car, her hand fell into his outstretched one, and he slowly led her onto the sand of the beach. They walked for little more than four minutes before he finally found the spot in which he wanted to rest. A simple checkered blanket was laid out on the ground along with a picnic basket and petals of white roses. She couldn't help but smile at the simplicity of it all. 

He was suddenly forgiven, for a moment she thought his idea of a 'romantic' dinner was hopping into the ocean for a swim. But he was always shocking her, surprising her if it was with nothing but simplicity itself. She was suddenly glad this wasn't something big, glad she wasn't out with a room full of people surrounding her. There was nothing but her, Gabe, the sand, the water, and the stars. Whatever he had in mind, she was finding herself glad to be apart of it. 

"Let's eat." He took a seat on the blanket, slowly pulling her down with him and spreading the food out around them. 

*

Her back lay comfortably against the sand, brown eyes gazing intently into the stars. The food lay long forgotten, or eaten, and they had talked themselves into silence. Gabe was simply watching her now, looking on with interest as a smile danced on her face that made it seem as if she had a secret no one else knew. He lifted his head, moving it closer to her, and staring for long, silent minutes, at her childlike expression. A smile pursed his lips as he leaned farther over, hovering above her head ready to kiss her - an action he rarely took part in. To his surprise, no objection or response was uttered and his lips met hers - requited. When they broke apart, he pulled back and smiled, breathing into her hair as he did so. 

She lifted her hands up and stuck them into the mass of hair on top of her head, allowing the midnight curls freedom to roam and scatter about the sand. Her head tilted to look at him, their eyes making contact for a second as she smiled. Then she straightened her head back up to face the sky. He moved his hands to the ends of her hair and played mindlessly for a few seconds with a few strands. Soon his fingers inched up, and he began to fun his hands through the rest of her hair, massaging it gently with content intrigue. 

"I know you don't want to hear this," He began cautiously, speaking softly and regarding her face for any signs of whether she would shy away from him. Her eyes turned until they found his and rested there, waiting for him to continue, a sad tent to them. He kept talking despite her look, determined to get out everything he had to say. "But you need to, because…Because I love you, Pan. I love you and I'm beginning to feel that I'd do absolutely anything for you. I know you have your issues with this, and you don't want to believe what I'm saying. I know you love Trunks and I'm not asking for much, just the chance. Because I'm here and he isn't. Because I'm in love with you now and he's still pretending he can make it without seeing your smile in the morning, when it's obvious he needs you more than life.-"

"Gabe." She interrupted, not wanting to hear what was coming next. Not wanting to know anything more than what she knew. Not wanting to wonder if certain things he'd said were true, not daring to enter into territory that made her heart pause and flutter at the same time. He thought he loved her. But he didn't. He couldn't because he didn't know her. Not the real her, the one inside. She still hadn't told him so many things and here he was, pouring his heart out to her. Guilt was pounding into her chest triple time as he looked at her, mystical green eyes shinning through her, begging for the chance. His hands found her hair again and he began the gentle massage. 

"I know, Pan. But I really do. I want to spend the rest of my life-"

"Gabe!" She cut in, giving him a look that shut him up. He had to know, before he said the rest of this, he had to know who she was. Who her father was. Who her father's father was…or, more accurately _what _they were. "There's something I have to tell you first…" This was just great. How was she going to start? 'Hey Gabe, remember when I showed up at your house in the rain and we shared our first kiss? Of course you do. Well, remember how you asked me how I got there without a car? Yeah, well…' She snorted inwardly, not very likely. But oh, well. She'd have to try. "Remember earlier today when I told you my parents were aliens? Yeah…I was only half joking…"  
  
A/N: allright, please leave a review and tell me what you think. Do you guys like Gabe? (Don't worry, next chapter focuses on Trunks and Marron's break up and then the one after focuses on Gabe leaving Pan, so he won't be around for long.) knowing that, do you like 'em? Oh, I had this particularly naughty idea about the T/M fight, in which our favorite demi-saiyan dreams about a certain raven-haired tomboy in a way that makes Marron 'challenge his love for her'…-evil smirk- but I dunno it I'll do it.  
  
Well, my thanks and appreciation go to: bella, Animechick, Simon, Hanamaru285, Cherry Son (hoping you're feeling well, dear ^.~), VegetaGirl101, AnimeFreak-TrunksPan-luver4evr (be nice to your mum dear), Truten-VegaPanny, qui, bec126, DBZChicky501 (glad you enjoyed the part with Vegiehead), chibigoten124/SSJ3MysticPan, YunaAngelofHell, dbzchic2789, Dark Anjel, Pia Bartolini, dbz obsessed, nicki-gurl, Dragon Priestess (every favorites list I make it to means the world to me, thanks lovie!), ~*vintage skater*~, lalala, Jezika, Animechick, mystic, Kaji Hikage, Butterfly Monkey Babe of, Andrea Meiouh 

  
**Juunanagou4ever:** thanks love, I really appreciate all of your constructive criticism, I like to know exactly what you guys think of the chapters and such. I hope you're enjoying the portrayal of Gabriel, and that's it's not boring you too much.

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Deidra/camille: come now, don't blame Marron for that whore incident. She wasn't thinking clearly, had a bit of a nervous breakdown, lovies. 

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Luna star: I'm glad you're enjoying. I think the age difference is what makes T/P's as well, but I didn't always feel that way. (though now I can't understand why). Give me a couple more chapters before the T/P really starts to show. I have to go through the whole grieving process that breaking up brings on and then I have to give them time to develop and change. But it's going to be worth it in the end. At least, I hope so. 

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SorrowBehindTheMask: the pain is coming, be patient deary. I'm getting to the climax [highest emotional point] of my story in these next few chapters (heh, it lasts that long -blush-)

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black diamonds: -blushes, face is flushed- you give me too much credit, really. But thank you, all the same! ^-^ I use Microsoft Word, but I believe YunaAngelofHell already answered the question. I hope you got through this G/P part without dying. -hugs-

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Deidra: everyone's a lil mean to Trunks every now and then. ^-^ he'll come to his senses soon.

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Pia Bartolini- thanks, your review means the world to me! I try to make things as human as possible. Glad to know it's coming off as such

A/N part 2: Whew! That was _a lot_! Thank you guys so much for your reviews, they meant the world to me. If I missed anyone, or put anyone's name twice it has nothing to do with favoritism or the lack there of, only a simple mistake. Until next time lovies! [ignore my dialect, it's Harry Potter's fault. Just watched the Chamber of Secrets. And I'm playing at/co-owning this Role Play Game about 5th year: feel free to come down and join if you know how to RP and you like Harry Potter. Don't hesistate to ask/tell your friends. It's a very new game, just started]

Also, for those of you wondering when the hell the romance is going to begin: patience is a virtue. If you know me, you know I'm a star for beating around the bush. But lucky for you guys, unlike First Kisses, this is not a 'get together' fic - meaning it ends when the 'get together'. I go a bit beyond that. They get married and you see life past that point, but, as is expected, there is a catch. ^_^ I just love being the author, means I can do whatever I please and you can't stop me! -shrinks away- don't stop reviewing please! It means the world to me. Oh, and Dark Anjel, please don't take me kidneys! I needs me kidneys! ;-)

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	7. Challenging Truths

  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. But man, if I did own Trunks we'd have a million love kids by now. ^-^ I don't own the italics at the end either. They belong to Ashanti too. -sigh- I don't own anything, do I? I do own Gabe! but he's not in this chapter….  
  
A/N: Well, I asked if you liked Gabe. I got some 'yes' some 'no', some 'hell no' and some 'I love him's. I'm sorry for those of you who don't like 'em. I really was hoping you would, I tried to do my best with his character, but I guess I can't _make _you love 'em. It's a shame though. I'm just curious as to how some of you thought he came off like a rapist? He only touches her every now and then, he was hesitant to even hug her when she was all pretty, but -sigh- oh, well. Moving on. I hope you like this chapter, not sure if I did it the best way I could, but I like it none the less.

Challenging Truths

"How could you do something so irresponsible?" He exploded, his voice shocking her into silence. She hadn't expected him to react this way, hadn't thought he'd be upset. That's why she'd called him first, to tell him first. Because she trusted him the most, because she appreciated his opinion more than any other's and she wanted to know how he felt about it first. And because she was unsure of the other boy's response, unsure if things were going to be okay or if she'd only made them worse. She'd called him because she needed some reassurance. But his voice was still ringing in her ears, his question still hanging in the air, and his feet were pacing the room with determined anger.

"Well, thank-you Trunks, for that encouraging vote of confidence!" She yelled back, throwing her hands in the air to exaggerate her annoyance and clearly show her frustration. She had wanted him to comfort her, not make her feel worse.

"How could you-" He started again, but broke his sentence off abruptly, flustered and angry about what was happening. "You really do need a babysitter." Her head shot back with indignant pride brewing through her body. Had he just said what she thought he said? For a moment she only stood there, willing her body to wake up from this horrible nightmare. Surely _her _Trunks would never say anything so stupid, so inconsiderate. The Trunks she knew wasn't dumb enough to insult her like that - to hurt her like that. But this wasn't him. He was some other person, some nasty thing that had taken control of his body and corrupted his mind until he wasn't thinking clearly. 

"You call me out here at nearly three o'clock in the morning, to tell me that you did _this_. How could you be so stupid, Pan?" He continued his rant, not noticing her angry silence.

"How dare you!" She finally recoiled, pacing the room just as wildly as him and shaking her head in a manner that said she couldn't believe him at all. "What was I _supposed_ to do? Never tell him? It was _you_ who told me I needed to stop pushing guys off and settle down in the first place. It was _you_ who convinced me to stop being _intimidating _and let someone in! 'Date someone', you said, 'fall in love' you said!" His face paled at least a shade - if not more - but Pan was too intent in her rage, too upset with the turn of events to stop herself. The words never ceased to flow and her tone never changed, her yelling was still high pitched and her feet were still traveling madly. "You tell me to open up and give my heart to someone, I find someone I trust and you react like this! What was I supposed to do, Trunks?" She paused for a second, settling on her original question, but as he opened his mouth to respond she began her rampage again. "What? Wait until I was married and pregnant before I said 'hey, by the way, don't freak if the kid comes out with a tale, it runs in the family'!?" Her hands were waving around in over exaggerated circles as he regarded her with caution. Anger was still prevalent in his facial expression but it was milder now, paled to a docile annoyance and she wasn't sure why. 

He didn't say anything for long, quiet seconds, and when his voice did come out it was ragged and disbelieving. "You love him?" He was speaking in a much softer tone than he had since his original outburst at her news, but she didn't pay his question any mind.

"And aren't you interested in what he said at all? I mean, really, what kind of friend are you supposed to be? Are you so self involved that you can't take a second to consider _me_? Consider what _I _was feeling and thinking at the time? How big of a risk I took? I put myself out there Trunks, and I put Gabe on the spot. And don't you even want to know how he responded?" She waited, but he didn't say anything, only looked at her with a facial expression that told her he wasn't in the mood for her anger. 

"You love him?" He repeated again, and she found herself growing angrier than she had been. Her pacing speed increased as she clenched her fists. 

"Well fine, I'll tell you anyway! He didn't yell, Trunks. He didn't over-react at all. I mean, sure he said he needed a little time to think about things, but he's still with me. He even said he loved me, made sure I understood that before he left. And I wasn't sure if I'd just ruined everything or not, because honestly, what kind of human could deal with that kind of news, just toppled into their lap the way I did it? But he was calm. And I was calling you because I needed to talk to you, needed to know if I was at least on the right track, if you thought I was worrying for nothing, or at least receive a little comfort. But you aren't concerned with any of that, are you? You don't care how I feel at all, do you? Did you even stop to think about whether or not I was happy? No! All you have to say is how irresponsible I am! Did you consider, before you opened your big mouth, that I trust him? I mean, maybe I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. You never thought of that, did you?" 

"You love him?" He repeated again, as if stuck in the same time frame as sixty seconds before - a broken record - before his speech broke into a soft plea for understanding. "You don't know what you're saying." He was almost pleading for a answer, his voice was so soft that she stopped, giving him a sympathetic look. But as her brown eyes locked with his blue, his turned angry again. "You don't love him; you don't know him. And look what you did, Pan. You're not happy with this guy, you don't know what you're doing, what you're feeling. You could have very well ruined all of our lives on circumstances that might not even work out. Over some hormonal, teenage, puppy love. This is the stupidest thing you've ever done, Pan." 

"You have no right to talk to me like that. And you don't know what I feel, or what Gabe feels, or what will work out and what won't. I don't understand you, Trunks. You tell me time and again that you want to see me happy, and then I come to you with the most exciting news of my life and you do this? You know how hard it is for me to trust people, so you know how big of a deal it is that I told him. And you're belittling me? How dare you, really, you self-righteous _jerk_!" She grinded her teeth together, glaring at him. His eyes stared back at hers, just as dangerous, and for a few seconds neither of them spoke or moved. 

Pan was more hurt than anything that he could react this way. She wasn't aware that Trunks could be so cruel, so mean - cold and reluctant to understand. How dumb did he think she was? That she would just tell anyone their secret and never think twice about it? Never consider the consequences? She wasn't as light as Marron, or even Bra, and yet he was regarding her as if she were the stupidest person on earth. Wasn't he supposed to be her knight in shinning armor at all times? Why wasn't she feeling very protected with him at that moment?

"Pan, you put everyone in danger." His voice was calm again, slightly frenzied, but calmer than the yelling tone it was in only seconds before. "Your family, my family, me, Marron and her family. Everyone of them is at the mercy of this one guy, if he so chose he could destroy any of their lives in a second. You're naive, love, and you just made huge mistake." 

"How could you say that to me?" She found herself unable to form any other words. Nothing else was good enough to explain how hurt, how confused she was at this moment. How betrayed she felt. She didn't need this. She didn't need any of this. And she was beginning to feel like she didn't need him either.

"Don't you understand, Pan? Everyone is at the hands of your…_boyfriend_." He spat the word with distaste, eyeing her as if she'd just been plucked - like trash - off of the bottom of his shoes.

"And how is he going to hurt them, Trunks? And you? What is he going to do?" The anger was returning to her voice as the hurt took it's leave. "What? Alert the media? He would never do that and you know it. And no one would ever believe if he did." 

"Pan, you could never be too safe in this day and age. Just…it's okay, you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes." He was calm now, trying to get her to sway to his side of the conversation, but she wasn't going to fall for it. 

"Then why don't you tell me, what was I supposed to do? Who would it have been acceptable for me to tell?" 

"Family, and _close_ friends Pan. Not some random-"

"_That's _what I'm trying to tell you, Trunks." She sighed, raking her fingers tiredly through her hair. "But you haven't listened to a word. Why aren't you hearing me?"

"Pan, you just aren't getting it." He tried to explain, also running his hands through his hair.

"What? What bad could happen, really? In case you forgot, my mother wasn't apart of the 'Z' gang and she accepted things. No one was hurt and Gohan even married her. You know, thought it was acceptable for her to find out." 

"That was completely different and you know it." He chastised, sighing again.

"How?" She challenged, trying to make sense of what was going through his head.

"How?" He repeated, as if he couldn't believe she had the nerve to ask him that. "What do you mean, how? They were dealing with life and death situations when Videl found out about the 'Z' gang. Strange things were happening and she just, found out, it wasn't a decision of whether or not to tell her, she needed to know. Besides, it was something her father already knew _and _they were completely crazy for each other. Videl _loved _Gohan and Gohan _trusted _Videl." 

"Gabe loves me and I trust him." She responded the second he was finished, feeling still as though she needed to prove something. The statement hung in the air for innumerable seconds, both of them edgy about what wasn't being said. And what they both knew was missing - being danced around - the thing that had been hanging in the air since the argument started. Then Pan spoke again, unsure of whether she wanted to risk anything else horrible happening between them. Their might not be a way to mend the bridges they burned if things got too deep. "Well then," She approached the subject they'd been too weary to tackle. 

"Who am I _supposed _to marry, Trunks? What person, do you know, would have fit into this nice little world without me having to reveal the secret? Who could I have married? Everyone who already knows is out of the question. You know Master Roshi's ancient and so is Yamcha. Then Bra's made it pretty clear that she plans on keeping Ubuu. And…well, you…you're engaged to Mar." She spit the last part out in such a way that there was no disputing how angry she was about it. He took a step back, finally coming to his senses, and gave her a confused look. His eyes studied her for an eternity before he sighed and raked his hair with his fingers once again. 

"You don't know him well enough to trust him, and he doesn't know you well enough to love you. Four months hardly qualifies you for marriage." He clung to his argument, desperation in his voice though neither of them knew why. 

"Someone could know me my whole life and never be in love with me." She spoke so softly he wasn't sure he heard her. And her eyes weren't looking at him anymore, they were looking through him. It made his heart pound so fast, because he wasn't sure if he understood what she was saying, but he was pretty sure he had the right idea. And the realization stung him in more ways than words could explain. "It's not a question of how long he's known me." Her voice was still soft, but slightly louder, and her eyes were looking at his now. They were urging him to understand, despite herself. She loved him and she wanted him to know - wanted him to finally realize what she'd always felt. He gave her a sorrowful look and nodded his head. 

"I'm sorry, Pan." His apology was filled with so much more. Much more than just his outburst and his inexcusable words to her that night. She blinked twice to fight back the tears. 

"I don't want to talk about this again." 

*

"So what was so important?" He heard a tired voice ring out in the dark. He swore mentally, wishing he'd been quieter when he first came in the apartment. He hadn't meant to wake her up, and he hadn't wanted her to ask him that when he came home. He'd been hoping she was just stay asleep. But then again, he knew that was wrong, that he should want to share everything with her. Not to mention, he needed someone to talk to, he knew he wasn't going to get any sleep. It was already five in the morning, anyway, he'd have been getting up in two hours so nothing much was lost. 

"You shouldn't have waited up, Mar." He scolded, turning on the lamp beside his bed and crawling in. He felt guilty that she'd missed sleep because of him. 

"Don't worry about it. I don't have to work tomorrow. We have the meeting with Aubrey and Heckle about the church, remember? So, we still get _some _sleep, meeting's at twelve." 

"Oh, yeah." He was getting married. That's right, in what? Eight days? Well, seven now since it was technically the next day.

"So, what was so important that Pan had to call so early in the morning and have you meet her for 'discussion'?" Her voice was neutral, not that of annoyance or jealousy, and he was glad she'd gotten over whatever it was that was making her feel like she needed to be jealous of him and Pan. 

"You won't believe what she did. It was the stupidest thing on earth, really, but don't tell her that or you'll be at it with her all night." He tried to lighten his mood by making a joke, but it didn't work well enough. He still felt like shit. And he was pushing back everything his mind was throwing at him at the moment. 

Every horrible thought he could manage, like maybe they'd never talk again. And if they did it would be strained and uncomfortable. Like, maybe he'd lost her forever and he was more than afraid that he wasn't going to be able to get her back. Maybe he'd pushed her too far, hurt her too deeply, strained her too much. And now he knew, something he wasn't meant to know, was never supposed to know. Something he'd been telling himself wasn't true for probably as long as she'd been feeling it. Now he was aware of something that he shouldn't be aware of, lost in confusion he shouldn't be feeling, over feelings she should never have been harboring. It was Marron's voice that threw him his lifeline, pulled him out of his own puddle of misery. 

"What?" He asked her to repeat her question, having not been aware that she was talking until too late.

"What's wrong?" She asked flatly, and he was sure that hadn't been her initial question. 

"No, what'd you just ask me?" He avoided, not sure if he wanted to tell Marron the horrible truth of the situation at hand. 

"Well, I asked what Pan had done that made you this unhappy, but I guess the answer to the first and second are synonymous." He tried to muster a smile but suddenly it was like he forgot how to feel. And he couldn't have smiled if she'd paid him to.

"We had an argument. You see, Pan told Gabe about our…_family heritage _and she wanted to know what I thought about it." 

"So?" Marron shook her head, missing the point Trunks was trying to make. "What stupid thing did she do?" 

"What?" He asked, moving his head back as if she'd just flung cold water into his face. 

"So, Pan told Gabe, so what?" She repeated, in case he hadn't understood her. 

"By 'family heritage', I mean she told him about the saiyan thing." He spoke the words numbly, as if she were and idiot.

"I understood what you meant. I just don't understand the problem." She gave him a scornful look for speaking to her in such a demeaning manner and sighed, turning her own nightlight on and facing him. "What's wrong, Trunks?"

"She told Gabe the family secret. Some complete stranger as far as I'm concerned. But I'm not in the mood, Pan and I just had it out and frankly I'm just tired." 

"Yeah, but what's wrong?" She could see the bags under his eyes bags that were a tell-tell sign that there was indeed something really wrong. "The sooner you tell me, the easier your getting to sleep will be- I'll stop bugging you." 

"You're not going to drop this?" He asked and she shook her head. "I told you, Pan and I had a fight." 

"So. You guys fight all the time." She shrugged, assuming everyone fought.

"No we don't. We don't fight. She usually says one thing, I disagree with her, she disagrees with me and we call it to an end. We just agree to disagree. Sometimes she gets upset, sometimes I get upset. But we have never fought. Not like we just did."

"That's not it, Trunks. You could at least try to sound convincing if you're going to lie. Come on, what's wrong?" 

"Everything's wrong." He sighed, leaning back in bed and closing his eyes. "I'm terrified, Marron. What if things aren't okay?" He was whispering, and a horse choke escaped his lips, sadness clear in his tone. She turned her eyes, alarmed, he sounded as if he were crying. She saw the glossy tent of his blue crystals as he opened them and sighed, moving over to rub his shoulders.

"Things will be okay. You've been Pan's best friend all of her life. There's nothing you could have said to change that."

"You weren't there. You didn't see her eyes. I said some things…things I shouldn't have. And she did…she said…she shouldn't have…And now I don't know if she'll be able to look at me. If I'll be able to look at her. And I'm scared, Mar. I don't know what I'd do without her." 

"Forget it Trunks. The next time you see her, tell her you love her and you're sorry. Things will be fine, Trunks." 

"What! What makes you think I love her? I never said I loved her!" He jumped back, surprise and…guilt…written clearly on his face. She narrowed her eyes for a second, studying him, then she wrinkled her brow and nodded. 

"Fine. Okay, you never said you loved her…I didn't mean…oh, never mind." She shrugged and backed slightly away from him. 

"I'm just a little edgy, I'm sorry. It's just…Pan's like my other half, you know. I'm not complete without her." He closed his eyes again and fought back another wave of emotions that were threatening to take hold of him. Marron furrowed her brow deeper and tried to fight back the flare her of her nostrils - she failed. 

"I thought I was supposed to be your other half." She spoke softly, laying down in her bed and turning her light off to let him know the conversation was over with. He opened his eyes, suddenly feeling sick at her statement, and frowned turning off his own light. She _was _supposed to be his other half. 

*

Her sleep was interrupted, not by the sun that had taken to shinning brightly into her eyes, but by the hand that was creeping slowly up her side. It was the gentle manner of the caress that shocked her, because she was sure it couldn't possibly be Trunks. He'd never touched her like that. That was the way her mind always envisioned Goten touching her, gentle and sinuous at the same time, but never had Trunks done it. 

His fingers began to dance higher up and for a second she had to ask herself if she were dreaming. Because if she were that would explain it, this wasn't Trunks at all if she were dreaming - it was Goten. But then she opened her eyes and it confirmed the fact that she had left dream world the second his hands descended onto her skin. She tilted her head curiously, turning so that she could face him and give a questioning glance. He was annoyed with her last night, and highly distraught, now he wanted to…

"Oh." She shook her head as her eyes made contact with his face. He was dreaming. His eyes were still closed and his mouth was slightly open in a fashion that let her know he wasn't awake. A part of her wanted to be annoyed, what kind of guy frets about his life being ruined the night before and then dreams about…well, _that_ during his rest? But a part of her was flattered - the part that knew he desired her in some way - she was going to marry this guy after all. That part of her made a cocky smile press her lips as his hands found the tip of her breasts. 

His other hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer and she suppressed the giggle as her head buried into his neck. It was like that, was it? He was still caressing her and she was partially disturbed, partially delighted, with the chills that were running down her spine. He really hadn't ever touched her like this before. And maybe, if he could keep it up, she wouldn't have to dream about Goten at all.

Whatever dream he was having, and whatever had triggered it, she didn't care. She was sure this was the best sex they'd ever had and she wasn't even actively involved in it because it was his dream. His hands were still rubbing parts of her softly and his mouth had taken to kissing the sensitive area of her neck. She smiled, ready to wake him up, not because she wanted to ruin his dream, but because she wanted the real life experience. If she had known he was capable of being so gentle and sweet in his caresses with her she would have requested it a long time ago. 

She called his name softly, her mouth close to his ear. Her voice was so tired and soft that she was hardly sure it was hers, but she knew he'd heard it all the same. "Trunks." 

"Don't be mad." He responded, lifting his lips from her neck and turning to kiss her chin. "Don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." She wrinkled her brow, unsure of whether he was awake or not. Then she smiled, no, of course not. He was still dreaming and now it made since. Of course, they were having make-up sex in this little dream. He had called Pan his other half, after all. It had hurt her ego, if not her feelings, last night. If she'd have been seriously in love with him she might have cried. Yeah, this was more like it. 

"I'm not mad. I just want you to-" His lips pressed onto hers softly, briefly, stopping her sentence mid-way, and then they moved to the space between the bottom of her nose and the top of her lip. She closed her eyes to regain her breath and her train of thought. 

It hadn't been a passionate kiss but it had definitely been filled with love. Love he had never expressed towards her before. She had to search her mind for what she was saying to him in the first place because she almost felt as if he had shaken the earth beneath her feet. And that was silly because she was lying down. That wasn't a kiss someone experienced in real life, that was the kind of kiss people read about in books. Short, yes, but so earth shattering it made her mind fumble and her heartbeat skip. 

"Umm…Trunks…" She still couldn't remember her point, or what she wanted to say. 

And then he did it - or rather, said it. The thing she thought she'd never hear in her bedroom, during…this. The straw that broke the camels back. "I'm sorry, Pan. I didn't mean it. Don't be mad at me." 

She lay there, perfectly still, for a good minute before the reality of his words hit her. She felt a good deal like someone had just knocked the wind out of her system. It hadn't broken her heart - it should have broken it - but it hadn't, it only made her ego ache in a way that couldn't be ignored. He was supposed to be dreaming about her. He'd pissed her off last night, right before he closed his eyes to go to sleep. He was going to marry her, he was supposed to be in love with her. And he was dreaming about Pan? He was kissing Pan in his thoughts and caressing her in ways Marron only imagined being touched - and by Goten at that - ways Trunks had never even attempted to touch her in. 

But it was perhaps that kiss that was the worst part. The kiss that had made her lightheaded, made her feel special, had been intended for Pan - not her. She pulled away from him quickly, and gathered her mouth from off the floor. She wasn't sure whether she was angry or just plain tired. But she was sure that she couldn't do this. Her eyes traveled to the clock and she realized they had a meeting to be at in one hour. A meeting about their wedding. They were supposed to be getting married in seven days. 

The world slammed down on her and she had to sit down on the side of the bed to level herself, for fear that she would faint. What kind of marriage would they have? What? Every night she could dream about Goten and he could dream about Pan, and every time they were intimate they could pretend they were with the other person? She wasn't going to live like that. It was different when she was sure that he loved her with every inch of his mind and soul. It was fine when she assumed that he was breathing because of her and living because of her, and every smile that graced his face was partially to do with the fact that she was still by his side. 

When she believed that he was co-dependent on her. When she believed that, she couldn't leave because he wouldn't survive without her. But now she could. Because he wasn't desperately in love with her - not really - and she wasn't in love with him at all. If she had been the tears would be streaming down her face right now. Because she'd made a decision, she wasn't going to live like this, she was getting out before it was too late. 

The room was suddenly very hot and she felt like the walls were moving closer. She was trapped. Trapped with Trunks, this engagement ring, and these walls. There was only one way out, the door. But she couldn't leave until she took that ring off, it was weighing her down too much. She just couldn't live like this. 

She pulled the ring off her finger and searched through her nightstand drawer. She pulled out the silver-velvet box and shoved the piece of jewelry back into it, slamming it on the nightstand. For a fleeting second her mind considered grabbing some clothes, a piece of paper for a note, and then running. But she couldn't do that, and the thought was gone before it even played out in her head. She at least owed him an explanation. She picked the box back up as she heard him stir. 

"I said I was sorry, Pa-" His body shot up, eyes snapping open to see where the warm that was next to him had gone. As soon as blue orbs met with enchanting blue, his face paled at least three shades. 

Marron could nearly hear his heartbeat quicken from where she was sitting. His eyes traveled from her face to her hands and then back to her eyes again. There was pleading there, no misreading it, and definitely confusion. 

"What are you doing, Mar?" He asked, cautious and edging closer to her side of the bed. She shut her eyes and tilted her head down, pain and heartache clear in her movements.

"What does it look like Trunks." She whispered softly, placing the ring in the center of the bed. 

"You can't be serious." He shook his head, shoving the ring away from him. 

"I am. I really am. And in case you didn't notice, Pan's not here." She regretted it the second the words left her lips. She shouldn't have said that, this wasn't his fault. It was everyone's fault but his. No - it was her fault but not anyone else's. 

"What are you telling me?" He gritted his teeth, wincing from the blow she'd thrown his way with her words. "You're walking out on everything we have because of one…because of…what are you saying Marron? This is it? Because of Pan?" 

"No, not because of Pan. And not because of you. Because of me. But you just don't realize it Trunks, do you? Everyone else does. Dende, Vegita does, Goten does, I'm sure Gohan does. Everyone who bothers to look, and you're pretending like you don't notice. You said it yourself - she's your other half." Why was she doing this? Her brain simply wasn't working as fast as her mouth, because she'd had a nice little speech planned out should she ever reach this moment. And that speech had involved butterflies and soul mates, and true love, and missing pieces, but no Pan. This wasn't his damn fault!

"What are you trying to say? I'm in love with Pan? That's not true Marron and you know it's not. If it were I wouldn't be here with you." 

"I'm in love with Goten but I'm still here with you." That was it! That was the defining moment, the moment she managed to lodge _both _of her feet into the small opening of her mouth. He didn't move for a long few seconds - seconds that seemed like an eternity. And when he did, it was raising his arm, the back side of his hand facing her head. She winced, sure he was going to hit her but he lowered his hand again, shaking and covering his face with his hands. 

"What did you say?" He asked in a squeaky voice. She swallowed hard, unsure of whether or not she should move. She shut her eyes, as if in pain, and drew in a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry, Trunks. This isn't your fault, and I've been making it seem like it was." There was her brain, back at top speed. If only it weren't a minute too damn late! "I was feeling like I was missing something - for a long time - and I just don't think that marrying you would be the right thing to do." 

"So why didn't you tell me that in the beginning, Marron? Like, before I put the down payment on the house we were going to move into, or before I moved into this apartment with you, or, I don't know, how about before I asked you to marry me and you accepted? What the hell is wrong with you? You're not feeling whole! I could…!" He was clenching his fists so hard the blood was dropping slowly onto the white sheet of the bed beneath him. 

"Have you lost your damn mind?" He asked, a horse whisper to his voice and she was sure he was crying. He deserved some kind of explanation, something better than 'I was missing something' but she didn't know what to say. She couldn't even explain it to herself. 

"I tried, Trunks. I honestly did. I tried to-" She didn't want to say she'd tried to love him, that would have only made things worse. 

"How could you, Marron? How could you love him and be with me?" She could hear the tears now, and they made her open her eyes. Made her own baby blues water. 

"Trunks. I'm so sorry, but this isn't his fault, you know." She was so afraid of ruining someone else's life that she wasn't sure she was thinking straight. 

"I was never going to blame him." Trunks sighed, unclenching his fists and re-clenching them, drawing more blood. 

"Please, stop that. I never meant…I never meant for this to happen. And I was going to marry you, Trunks. I was. But then-…I realized it wasn't fair…you deserve someone who's going to love you more than life. And I just…as much as I tried…I couldn't do." 

"Don't do that Marron. Please, don't do this. Don't throw away everything that we have, everything we've had for a few moments of cold feet. You don't love Goten. You didn't mean that. Please, just stay. Please." He had pulled her closer to him, burring his face into her shoulder and weeping, begging and disgracing himself like he never had before. "Don't do this to me. Please, just stay. I love you." 

"Don't say things like that to me, Trunks. Don't because you'll hate me later for hearing them. Stop it, let me go." 

"I could never hate you, Marron, the same was I told you I would never let you go." He tightened his grip, only slightly, giving her a soft squeeze before releasing her body. "You'll change your mind. And when you do, I'll be waiting for you. Everything's going to be all right." He nodded in confirmation, scaring her slightly, because his eyes were looking past her. At something only he could see. A future that would never happen. 

"Trunks," She spoke softly, placing her hands on either side of his face. "Look at me," She turned his face to look at her, both their eyes staring into each other. "I'm not coming back. I'm leaving, it's over. I'm sorry, but I can't love you the way you want me to. The way you deserve to be loved. And I tried, but it didn't work. If there was anything I could do to change this, I would change it. But there is nothing. I'm so sorry." 

The reality of her words must have hit him because his eyes changed from sorrowed and blank to angry and boring into her. There was disgust somewhere in there, but the hurt was more prevalent, and he yanked his head out of her reach. 

"Get out, please." He clenched his jaw and looked away from her. "Make arrangements to get your stuff sometime when I'm not here." 

"Trunks," 

"Get out, Marron." She was still crying as she made her way to the door, grabbing only her jacket before heading out of the room, out of the apartment, and out of his life forever.

Can't believe that it's over baby. But every bruise on my heart you gave me. See we tried but we'd fight, then we cried. Now it's over babe. It's over, babe…

A/N: I hope you guys liked it. There was a lot of arguing and what not, but I had fun writing it. ^-^ I'd like to say thanks for all the reviews I got. Geez, if I had known that simply asking you to review would get me all that attention - anywho, I'm overwhelmed. I really appreciate it. And I just want to take this moment to say: Kaji Hikage, that was the nicest review anyone has ever left me in my life. I nearly cried. Thanks! You made my day. -hugs- 

The rest of you made my day too, really. About 32 reviews for one chapter, I don't know what to say about that! ^-^ Anyways, Trunks and Marron are over with, that should make you happy, somewhat. Sorry for those of you who wanted Gabe's response, I didn't know how to do it, I mean, how does someone react to news like that? So I just didn't do it. Hmm, I don't know if I liked this chapter as far as length and description, but for action and content I loved it. Hope you did too. 


	8. Disturbing Winds

  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, that's all I have to say.  
  
A/N: Um, I'm not to sure about this chapter but here's just a few notes before you read: 1) the very first part is right after chapter 7. Then when Pan's part comes up (after Trunks with the * to indicate the scene change) it's been a month since the first part. 2) when you get to the part with Sean and Larry, don't get pissed cause you're confused and you don't get why they're in there or who they are. Just keep reading, it all becomes clear…somewhat. And, um, excuse their language it's kinda harsh. For the rest, read the A/N at that bottom (but only after you've read the chapter).

Disturbing Winds

The crumpled figure of a boy used his last bit of energy to tear the door of the huge corporation open. He slumped in and shut the door, leaning against it and falling down in a lethargic way. It was as if all energy, all life, had been drained out of his body. There was nothing left for him to breathe for, nothing worth his heart beat. He heard a loud voice from inside the building yell, soon followed by footsteps that were certain to belong to his mother. Not just his mother - but his _angry _mother. A sigh escaped his lips, his mind not really sure if he could deal with what was coming next. 

"Trunks Vegita Briefs!" She yelled, approaching him, hands on hips. "Heckle called me. I've been trying to get in touch with you all morning. Where have you been?" She only gave a brief pause, not enough time for him to think up his answer, much less give it. "You cancelled your meeting! What were you thinking? We only have one week to pull everything together, now's not the time to go around canceling things. I don't care how 'busy' you and Marron got! Where is she, I'd like to ring her neck!" Bulma finally looked down at the figure of her son, draped against the door, scrunched down and frowning as if the world was over. 

"What's wrong with you? You look like shit." She pointed out bluntly, tactlessly, while trying to decipher what was going on. 

"My life is over." He mumbled, looking up at her with glossy, red eyes. He put his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a velvet case, a small box that was so significant in so many ways, and threw it down on the floor. 

"Trunks…no," Bulma shrieked, covering her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. "What's that mean? Tell me…" She cut herself off, realizing her son was crying. Hunched over on the floor, rumpled clothes and foul breath, he was crying. She'd never really seen him cry before, not since he was younger and didn't know what a 'weakness' tears were. Her body caved at the knees as she dropped beside him, pulling him close to her and rubbing his neck, his back, his hair. 

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. I don't know what happened but everything will be fine. I'm sure it was just a little argument, whatever you said to her or whatever she said to you, will cool down in two days tops. Things will be all right, you two just have to stop being so stubborn all the time." 

He couldn't find the strength to answer, didn't know what to say even if he could answer. He only sobbed and buried his head into the crook of her neck, trying to stop the sounds. If this were anyone but his mother he would have died. She was the second person to see him cry in less than twenty-four hours. This simply wasn't the way he'd been planning on sharing the news with everyone. He'd meant to come in, laugh casually, drop the ring and say 'Well I finally sent her packing'. He was too numb to think, too lost to understand anything that was going on, and his brain was dislocated. How was he supposed to live now? 

He'd lost his best friend and the love of his life in one blow. Gave a different perspective to killing two birds with one stone. One argument with Pan had escaladed into all of this and how was he supposed to recover? He didn't have anything now, he didn't have anyone. One of them loved him too much and the other one didn't love him enough. Why was life so unfair?

**

"So, you finally recovered your senses Mr. Henson?" Pan smiled, pulling her hair up into a pony tail and traveling down the stairs. He was sitting in the living room and looked up as she spoke. 

"I suppose so." He shrugged. "Either that or I lost them completely. I don't know." 

"I didn't think I'd see you again." She stated as she sat down in the chair diagonal to his. He shrugged again, looking incredibly uncomfortable, and tried to place a smile on his face. 

"You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you?" When she didn't smile at his joke, he became serious again, waiting for her to clear her mind. 

"What made you come back?" 

"I don't know." He stated honestly, looking down at his hands. "At first I thought you'd lost your mind…you know, were a little short of the whole deck, and I was working out in my head how things were going to play out this way. You know, wondering if I could deal with…well…a crazy woman, for life." 

"And now?" Pan asked, ignoring the small well of anger she felt knowing Gabe had believed her to be crazy. She supposed she would have thought the same thing if she'd have been in that position. 

"And now I'm not so sure you are crazy. See the story was too elaborate, it made more sense than the tale they put in our history books about Cell and Majin Buu, and well…I kind of like you, if you didn't notice. So I decided it wasn't all that important to me if you were a few eggs short of the dozen." 

"I'm not crazy, Gabe." She felt the need to affirm that as she found she couldn't fight off the anger that was building inside her this time. 

"All right, Pan. I'll take your word for it, because we'd both be put in an asylum if I asked anyone to evaluate." 

"Yeah, yeah. So where do we go from here?" She asked, not completely sure of what to do next. It was as if she didn't know him all over again. 

"We start over. I'm Gabriel Henson, and you?" He stuck his hand out to exaggerate how completely serious he was about it. 

"Pan Son, quarter Saiyan." She reached out, taking his hand and smiling. "It's nice to meet you, Gabriel." 

"My friends call me Gabe, and I'd like for you to be my friend." He smiled and she rolled her eyes at how cheesy this entire set up was. But if it was what he needed to accept the saiyan thing, she could work with it. After all, he was all she had left. 

She hadn't spoken to Trunks since their argument last month, since Marron walked out on him. And she hadn't spoken to Marron since the girl smacked her across the face. It had been about as long since she'd had a decent conversation with Bra, not that she was angry with her, but she might as well be. If Trunks wasn't talking to her then neither was Bra, they worked as a team. And, even though she was sure he was distraught out of his mind still, she was very sure he wasn't speaking with her. 

But she wasn't speaking with him either, it was far too embarrassing and she hadn't faced him since he tore her tiny heart to pieces with his damn 'sorry'. He was sorry all right…So, this was all she had left. Her only surviving friendship, and it had taken him a month to walk back into her life. 

"I'd like that." She finally responded after he released her hand from his. "So, friend, what did you have in mind for today? Or did you simply come over here to 'start over'?" 

"I don't know. I thought we'd go outside, sit around and picnic, enjoy the weather. Get to know each other again." He shrugged, still looking uncomfortable and not liking the awkward silence that ensued after his statement. 

"That sounds nice." Pan finally responded, standing up and taking his hand in hers to pull him out of his seat. She didn't exert her strength, the way she would have with Goten or Trunks, because she didn't want to scare him. A little at a time, she reminded herself, glad that she could finally just be normal around him but not wanting to take things too fast. 

*

Trunks walked into the apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights as he sat his briefcase down. It didn't matter anyway. He sighed and slid down onto the floor, pulling some papers out of his briefcase as he went. He curled his body up and looked over the paperwork, though he couldn't see it in the darkly lit room. His eyes were merely examining the papers because it was routine, he wasn't retaining anything, especially since he could barely see. 

After a few minutes he got tired and discovered his eyes were becoming lazy, there was no point in pretending to work any longer. He didn't have to keep a charade up for anyone, no one was there. So he simply sat, curled in the darkness, eyes dancing around him miserably. A muffled sigh was exhaled and he found himself wondering whether he'd done it or not. And then, as his heart beat quickened, whether he'd heard it or not. Maybe no one had sighed at all. He looked about him again, curious and afraid at once, near panic at the thought that he might not be alone. 

But turmoil shot through him, a disappointed sadness leaking through every crevice of his being, as he considered that he _might be _alone. He was always alone lately. Deciding that the quiet was too much for him to handle, he moved his body up, back over the table where his papers were laying, and let his eyes circle over them once again. Words danced through his head and filled his mind with ideas, anything that was louder than the quiet he'd become accustomed to, and he let his head rest again. Free from the plaguing thoughts - the hurtful reality that there was no one. 

He saw something move through the corner of his eye - or he thought he saw something - and he jumped. His heartbeat sped up as he looked around for whatever it was but he couldn't find anything. And there was no one there to tell him it hadn't been his imagination - no one to tell him it had. He drafted his glance downward again, impatiently, and let his mind be conquered by the work that needed doing. 

But it wasn't long before he heard a strange sound in the background. Something meant to warn him of another's presence; something had fallen. He rose to his feet and cautiously walked down the small hall of the apartment to his bedroom, following the sound to where it had originated. 

His heart took an easy comfort as he rounded into the room, glancing at the open window and toppled picture frame on his nightstand. He picked it up, righting it, but as he did a thought plagued his senses, shooting colorful whispers of doubt into his mind. Had _he _left that window open? He was sure he'd closed it this morning before he left. Or…_was _he sure? Maybe he hadn't. He couldn't have, and that's why it was still open. After all, there was no one there to come and open it after him. No one. There wasn't anyone else anymore. And with frightening clarity he was sure there never would be anyone else again. Not anyone like her. 

He'd known her all her life. He'd watched her play, watched her dream, watched her become who she was. And he wasn't even sure when he'd started loving her, just that he _had _started loving her. Nothing else matter, nothing else made sense. That she wasn't there now didn't seem to calculate in his head. Why she wasn't there never registered in his being. Her voice was still resounding through his head, 

__

I'm leaving, it's over. I'm sorry, but I can't love you the way you want me to.

And there was no one there to block it out for him. No one there to commit whether they had heard her as well or not. No one to tell him he'd gone insane and definitely hadn't shut the damn window this morning. 

*

"What are you doing?" She laughed, watching his form with curiosity as he moved about crazily. His arms were flailing about him and he was spinning in circles, he looked like a complete buffoon. His brown hair was blowing up and down, into his eyes and around his face, and his body was traveling in circles.

She shifted her weight on the blanket she was sitting on and sighed. "Gabe," She called again. "What are you doing?" There was a slight sign of annoyance in her voice, but he couldn't hear it because the amusement was tinkering at the surface and it covered everything else. 

"I'm dancing, love." He smiled, pausing to look at her and squinting because the sun was in his eyes. 

"That's not dancing, Gabe." She shook her head, laughing despite herself, and standing up. "This," She began to imitate his movement, jumping about in random circles and swinging her arms. "This is called being an idiot." She stated after she'd stopped, clutching her sides to prevent the laughter from spilling out of her lips again. 

"No, you just don't know how to have fun." He declared. "If you'd let loose sometime, you'd know that _this _is the best form of dancing there is." He continued with his crazy charade, moving around her and wiggling his fingers and arms in a flashy way. 

"Stop it." She commanded, swatting at him. "You're making me dizzy." 

"Nonsense!" He smiled wider, moving faster around her body. His hands reached out and drew her to him, shaking her body about backwards and forwards. "Dance with us, Pan." He chanted in a way that was meant to be coxing but came out as creepy. 

"Who's 'us' Gabe?" She asked slowly, looking around for anyone else who might be in the woods of her backyard. "Did I miss something or are you just strange?" 

"Both, lovie, both." He smirked, the dimple forming in his right cheek as he did so. 

"All right…" She stated slowly, shaking her head and pulling away from him. "I don't even think I want to know…" 

"The wind and I." He stated proudly, shimming up to her again. "Dance with us." A devious glint took place in her onyx orbs, a cunning smile pressing into her lips. 

"You want to dance with the wind?" She asked slowly, looking up at the sky then back into his green eyes. 

"That's what I'm doing, Pan." He shrugged as if it were common knowledge and continued with his craziness. 

"No, Gabe, you're being an idiot. I already told you." She tried to suffocate the laughter as it spilled out again, to no avail. She regained herself quickly, however, and continued with her tempting. "I can take you dancing with the wind. You know, should you want to touch the clouds." 

"Oh no, Pan." He backed away, looking up at the sky and then back down at her. "You're not…suggesting what I think you're suggesting…are you?" His 'dancing' stopped abruptly as he hesitated to look at her, shaking his head and moving away at the same time. She approached quicker than he moved, pouting and giving him puppy eyes. 

"What's wrong? You're scared Gabe? Don't be scared." She mocked in a childish simper. "Come dancing with us." She continued, holding out her hands for him to grab. "Think of it as an adventure." 

"I've always been afraid of airplanes, Pan. And now you want me to _be _one?" She laughed vigorously at that and grabbed onto his hands, pulling him closer to her. 

She grabbed onto her happy thought - the same one every time - and pushed her energy under her, warning him before her feet lifted off the ground. "We're going up now." She smirked, never letting his hands go. "Don't worry, I won't drop you." 

"I have perfect confidence in you." He stated, his eyes shut tightly, hands gripping onto hers for all he was worth. They were barely three inches off the ground. She sighed at his cowardice and took off, flying high into the skies, and pausing. 

"Gabe," She called, looking at him with amusement. "Open your eyes. It's no fun if you don't look." 

"It's the looking that scares me." He stated, opening one eye to peak. He was so far off the ground that the clouds were actually at a reachable level and he stuck his hand out - shaking the entire time - and let his fingers slide through little snippets of heaven. 

"It's not so bad, is it?" She asked softly, amused with his child-like wonderment. This was a different prospective for her, she'd always known what it was like to fly. Always known how the sky felt up close. But she had missed out on the simple pleasures of life, like dancing with the wind and flying kites. She supposed that's what he was there for - to teach her how to be a little kid, a normal kid. He had such a child-like quality about him, it kept her young and innocent. It kept her smiling these last few hours, she hadn't been smiling much since the fight with Trunks. And she needed it desperately. 

"It's amazing." He spoke, awestricken as she slowly moved a little higher. "Much better than dancing on the ground." The sentence struck a thought in her head and she pulled him closer to her, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling. 

"You're going to have to lead." She warned, moving slightly as they began to dance to the music only they could hear. He was looking down but only slightly, and the color that had drained from his face when she first began to fly had returned. 

He lost track of time, wasn't even aware of how long they'd been in the sky until he noted the sun beginning to set and his feet landing softly on the ground. It was so beautiful up there, like a world within his world; one too good for him to touch. A piece of perfection that he'd never disrupt again - not for lack of interest but simply because achieving the impossible more than once wasn't something he was willing to let his mind hope for. Better to not expect and be surprised than the other way around. 

It wasn't until he noted the lost and desolate look on Pan's face that he realized his feet were once again on the ground, figuratively speaking - he was back to reality only then. "What's wrong?" He inquired softly, sitting down on the soft grass and leaning to look up in her face for her response. She didn't move for a few seconds, or make any acknowledgement that she'd heard him, simply stood there staring at nothing. Then, her eyes came back into focus and she realized he was looking at her. 

"What?" She asked, completely unsettled and slightly out of her correct mindset. 

"I was asking what's got you all spacey." He shrugged as though he thought it were no big deal, even though he knew that whatever it was had her more than upset. 

"Oh, it's nothing….just." She shook her head, abruptly cutting off her sentence midway. "Nothing." She said again, convincing herself more than him.

"Does this nothing have a name?" He continued to press, knowing she needed someone to talk to by the look in her eyes. Sad and lost, a look he didn't want to see if he could help it in any way. 

"Trunks." She answered, not pausing to think about the question even. He nodded, seemingly in understanding, and fought the urge to roll his eyes. Wasn't it always Trunks?

"Of course, what happened?" His voice wasn't dull, though it was with great effort that he kept it from being so.

"I'm not talking to him. Everything happened." She sighed and settled on the ground, preparing for a long story. But her words hadn't resumed as he waited for the story to begin. Gabe sighed and leaned back, looking up at the sky.

"Are you going to continue?" He finally asked, once the silence had gone on for too long. "Elaborate a little?" 

"Marron left Trunks." Was all she said after his question, he leaned up to see her fingers twiddling with her hair. He raised a suspicious eyebrow, not sure what he was supposed to be feeling because of that. It was a shame that the man's wedding plans had fallen apart, but he was in love with Pan anyway, so…

"And what happened? How does he feel?" Gabe suddenly wondered if Trunks had tried anything with Pan and that was why they weren't talking. He was angry at the thought but didn't let it show. 

"I don't know, I haven't talked to him. We had a fight the night before she left him and some things were said…or insinuated that shouldn't have been…And I just don't want to see him." She shrugged, knowing full well that she was leaving out the big parts of the information. The things that were 'insinuated' were important because it made her completely embarrassed and an emotional wreck to even _think_ on. Trunks knew she loved him, and all he had to say was he was sorry. She wanted to cry every time she thought about it. 

Gabe saw the look in her eyes as she thought to herself and he wondered what more she was leaving out. But he didn't pursue the issue, it was her business after all. And the mention of Trunks and how hurt she was simply because she wasn't talking to him, only served as a reminder to the issue that had haunted him for many nights. He was in love with this girl, and he was fully prepared to be everything she wanted him to be whether she loved someone else or not. The only thing he'd ever want in return would be the opportunity to hold her at night and kiss her head in the morning. But it was something that could never happen, never make her happy. Because she'd always want Trunks, and he'd always hate that…

"Talk to him." He finally offered, letting his thoughts marinate in his head. 

"I can't Gabe, you don't understand. I just…I don't want to." She said, her voice taking on the quality of a five year olds.

"You don't _want_ to, Pan? Think about this rationally. I don't know what happened between you two but, whatever it was, it couldn't have been bad enough to make you want to ignore your _best friend_ when he needs you the most. Talk to him." 

"What he needs the most is time to recuperate. Marron just walked out on him four weeks ago. The very night before that he was sure they'd spend the rest of their lives together and now he doesn't have her. He needs to be alone to sort things out." She tried, defending herself in the situation and not liking the guilt trip he was taking her on. 

"He doesn't need to be _alone_. The," He paused briefly, trying not to be sarcastic when he said this part - because he didn't believe it. "Love of his life just walked out on him. He needs support and you should be the one supporting him." He couldn't believe he was going to be the one to tell Pan to go and talk to Trunks. He couldn't believe he was sending her into the man's arms when he was unattached and grieving. That was stupid and he knew it, no telling what could happen. 

"Whatever, Gabe." Pan sighed and stood up, dusting her pants off. She walked over to the tree they'd been sitting at earlier and picked up the blanket, folding it into a nice square and holding it with both arms. "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?" She looked over to him, anger in her eyes but a soft plea in her voice. He smiled lightly, a distant, sad, look taking over his face as he nodded. 

Sure she would see him tomorrow, but things wouldn't be the same. He was slowly beginning to realize he was fighting a loosing battle. He stood up himself and wiped his own pants off while she walked over to him, and to his surprise planted a small kiss on his lips. 

"Thanks for the advice, really. It's just…I don't know. I think it's better this way. For Trunks and I to move on with our lives, grow apart from each other some, stop being so attached." Her smile grew wider as she turned around, prepared to walk away, but his hand on her shoulder stopped her. 

She turned around again, to face him, a confused smile falling on her lips. His eyes held something in them that she couldn't read, a mystery that wasn't exciting but more sad than anything. Her smile quickly faded as she wondered what it was that she was missing - what was he trying to tell her that she didn't understand? He leant his head over and kissed her softly on the lips, a kiss that made her want to cry. Mainly because it was filled with so much emotion- love and desire that she couldn't match. But more than that, because it was so soft and sweet, and so distant she was hardly sure she felt it. And lastly, there was a distinct hole in the pit of her stomach that lurched as his lips were removed from hers. A hole that made her want to beg him not to walk away, made her want to pull him to her again, because she felt - without a doubt or waver of uncertainty - that she would never see him again.

She stood there, even after he had turned away, and watched as he began his descent into her front yard, onto the street to toss out his capsule. She was still standing there five minutes after he was gone, her hand pressed softly onto her lips, looking out in wonder. What was wrong with her? There was a eerie feeling lurking about her, a cold chill traveling up her spine and neck, lifting the hairs and making her shiver. There was something wrong, no doubt about it. She crossed her arms over her chest and headed into the house, thinking over what Gabe had said. He wasn't right, she shouldn't call Trunks, she decided and made her way into the kitchen, preparing to make a meal for the family; her father should be coming home soon.

**

"Damnit, Sean, watch where you're going some of the damn time." His partner called, looking over his shoulder while trying to balance the hamburgers and sodas in his hands. "You nearly made me drop all the food, you dumb shit!" He frowned and turned back around, moving ahead as the line progressed. 

"Whatever, jackass." Sean called back, finally walking past the other guy and the two women that stood in the line behind him. "I'm going to get the gas, you just make sure my food doesn't become victim to your fat ass, all right Larry?" The other guy, Larry, merely nodded and laughed, not bothering to turn his head again. Sean mumbled a 'whatever' and continued out of the store, onto the gas station's lot. 

He pumped the gas and by the time he was finished and had paid by credit, Larry was out with one two thirds of the food in his hands, the other portion in his large mouth. He shoved half of the remaining burgers into Sean's hands and then climbed into their truck, opening a burger and throwing it into his mouth. "Come on!" He yelled through a mouthful, waiting for his partner to get into the passenger side.

"Maybe I should drive." Sean offered, noticing the concentration Larry was putting into eating the next burger. 

"I'm good, let's just go. We've got a deadline, newbie." He rolled his eyes, sick of Sean always being the 'goodie' in the business. Couldn't they just get on with it already?

Sean sighed, shrugging his shoulder and walking over to the passenger side of the rig, lifting his leg up and hopping in. He dropped a few fries in the process, but he was sure he wouldn't loose sleep over it later. Larry started the truck after Sean was in and the doors were closed; he was trying to chew a whole burger in one bite and holding a drink in one of his slimy hands as he began to drive off the gas station's lot.

Sean reached over and turned the music on, chewing with dignified manner, compared to his counterpart, and took a sip of his own drink. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" He asked again, uneasily eyeing the way only one of Larry's hands were free to steer the big truck. 

"I'm sure dammit." He spat, taking his eyes off the road to glare at Sean. 

"All right, I'm only asking because you didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Sean sighed, holding up his hands in defense. "Now you can't say I didn't offer." Larry grunted and sat his soda down, using the hand that used to hold it to reach into his bag and draw out a box of fries. He upturned the box, dumping half of them into his mouth at once.

*

A soft hum came from the male's lips as he walked causally along the side of the road. A smile was on his face because he'd finally come to a decision, one that he was moderately happy about. He'd stayed up all night tossing and turning, just trying to decide. He was sure the bags were reflected under his eyes. 

A confident smile engulfed his lips as he lifted a hand to pat his chest pocket, the bulge of the velvet box resting there reassuring him once again. This was, by far, the hardest and best thing he would ever do in his life. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he thought about it, as he thought of what the girl would say to his proposal. She'd probably tell him he was crazy again, but it didn't matter because he knew he was right this time. He just _knew_ it. 

A carefree spirit took over him that made him light and seemingly gave him wings. He began to hum again and he flung his arms out, twirling around - dancing with the wind. 

*

"Shit Larry!" Sean screamed, clutching his seat and sighing with relief. "You need to slow the fuck down." He responded angrily, once he was calm enough to open his eyes. 

"It was just a dog." Larry grunted out, still chewing on the leftovers of his meal. 

"It was just a dog?" Sean repeated angrily, mocking him with a tone that said he was pissed off. "Just a fucking dog! We almost flipped this rig over and all you have to say is 'it was just a dog'? You asshole!" Sean continued to rant, drawing in deep breaths to regulate his heartbeat. 

"Don't worry about it, I know what I'm doing." Larry said to him, spiting bits of food in his direction as he turned his head to scold. His eyes locked with Sean's for a second before he glanced the windshield in his peripheral vision. His heart stopped as his mind took in what he was seeing. He turned his head to the road, swerving the wheel as hard and as fast as he could to no avail. 

"What the hell-" Sean never finished his sentence, his eyes met the road as well but he couldn't say anything. He was dumbstruck, and Larry was choking. The bastard was choking on cold fries and soda, coughing so hard he could hardly breathe, much less maneuver the wheel. Sean reached his hands over to try and help Larry out, but he couldn't quite get there, they were going too fast and he was being thrown in the other direction. They were going to flip. 

"Son of a bitch." Sean whispered as his life flashed before his eyes. 

*

His twirling was interrupted abruptly by the sound of screeching brakes. He didn't respond immediately, didn't really know what to do. He turned his body around and his brain took in what was happening in slow motion. His dusty curls of hair swung out of his face and bounced on his forehead, his green eyes flashed dangerously. A truck was coming at him at a very fast speed - they were going to meet head on.

He stood there, frozen in that same spot, for so long the sun went down and rose again. Or were those just his eyes blinking once, blinking twice? He wasn't even sure. He could hear a watch ticking in the distant background, a fast, tick tick-tick-tick, tick tick-tick-tick, over and over again. And the sound grew louder and louder, faster and faster, until he was sure someone was standing right next to him, pounding a mallet against steel in his very ears. Then the sound wasn't fast anymore, but agonizingly slow, maybe hours were in between each strike of the mallet that the person was pounding. No, there was no mallet, there was no one pounding it, and he didn't have a watch on. The only ticking he could possibly hear would be the beating of his own heart. 

He moved his feet, turning in a different direction and running down the side of the street, into the grass and past the truck all together. The wind turned very cold and he could see her, he could see Pan. She was standing in the woods holding a pot of rice out for him and he smiled, happily escaping what could have been the end of his life. His mother was also there and she was holding someone, it looked like a younger him. He continued his running, down a path he never knew existed, and tried desperately to reach them. But just when he was almost there a blinding light struck him and he turned his head, he looked back in the other direction and saw what he'd been trying not to see. He was still standing in front of the truck. 

He looked down at his feet, they hadn't moved, they were still on the smoldering pavement. His eyes shot up again, in panic, as deafening silence reached his ears. Why was he still standing there? Why was the truck trying to come to a halt and yet he could no longer hear the brakes? Why did the words, _son of a bitch _echo in his head as he closed his eyes again, squinting and afraid of the impact? He never opened them.

*

Pan sighed and looked up at the book again, not really wanting to analyze the chapter. She didn't really care much about anything that was going on and she couldn't help but glance at the door every time she heard a noise. He was supposed to be here already. 

Gabe had said he was coming over today. He had said she would see him. And when he walked away she had the distinct feeling that he was lying, that he had no intention of seeing her ever again. It was like he resolved within himself that things could never be right and she wasn't worth the trouble anymore. Maybe she wouldn't have been so upset if he had called. If he had just had the decency to be honest with her and say he wasn't going to be able to 'love her'. Then things would have been alright. But he hadn't even bothered to do that. 

And just knowing he was out of her life for good hurt more than anything else. Because she had honestly tried She had worked hard at being what he wanted her to be, while maintaining who she was. She had began to trust him and she'd opened up to him more than she'd ever open up for anyone else. Especially since this turned out in ruins. Now what was she supposed to do? He was the closest she'd had at happiness, he was the best she'd ever have. 

What was the point in starting over, finding someone else to date? What was the point in trying again? They would all end in disaster. Most guys were afraid of her independence, and if they weren't frightened by that it was her attitude. Then there was the matter of her superhuman strength and the fact that her grandfather was an alien. And if that didn't get them to go away, the way Gabe stuck around, they would certainly disappear when they found out that she was in love with someone else and always would be. That was what got to Gabe anyway. 

But, he had said he was coming by. That was the only thing that kept repeating in Pan's head as she studied her sociology and then finally moved on to her math. It was nightfall before she put her books away and stopped glancing at the door. That was it, he wasn't coming. And she'd known it since yesterday. Why had she let herself hope?

Well it didn't matter, maybe he had a point anyway. The closest thing she'd ever have to a real relationship was Trunks. She could at least be his friend when he needed her. She was going to call him, or stop by and see him or something. He probably did need a comforting shoulder to lay on during this time in his life. And Dende knew Goten wasn't being the friend he was supposed to be - for some reason, he hadn't talked to Trunks or Marron since the break up. 

Her hand was traveling near the phone when it rang, sending an ominous foreboding through her being. She shivered involuntarily and knew without question that this call had to do with Gabe. Butterflies flew throughout her stomach, making her hands shake and her body feel sick as if she were going to throw up. She had a feeling that this call was simply being made so Gabe could explain why he never wanted to see her again, and she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to answer it.

But her hands weren't listening to her brain, and before she knew it, the receiver was pressed to her ear and she was calling out a croaky 'hello'. The last thing she remembered hearing from the person on the other end was _he didn't make it_. After that everything got fuzzy, her head got light, and the phone fell from her fingers. The world was black and upside down in an instant.  
  
  
A/N: So, :-/ what do you think? Sad, no? And Pan fainted in case you didn't get that part. And uh, sorry about the trucker's language again - I know it was horrible, but they were truckers. Give me a break. I hope you didn't hate this chapter. Anyway, review please and let me know. ^-^  
  
uh, resuming my A/N at the top: 3) this story is going to be pretty long. I'm talking 'epic' in Panabelle's terms. I'm guessing 20 chapters, but that's only _if _I can simplify it enough. I'm not sure if it will be that short even. Sorry about that.   
**4) **Trunks and Pan _will get together_, it's just happening in my own time. So don't rush me cause I'm not going to speed up simply due to demand. I write first because I want to and it's in me, the reviews and knowing someone likes it is just an added bonus. If I shoved them together in the next chapter it wouldn't be believable - granted, I could make it believable, I like my way better.   
And finally, 5) I actually cried when I wrote this chapter. It hurt me to do that to poor Gabriel. I loved him and I've never got rid of a character that I've liked that way before. -sigh- poor baby. All right, this is long enough, I'll shut up now. 


	9. All at Once

  
Disclaimer: I don't own it. _He _does.  
A/N: I hope the wait for the next chapter wasn't _too _long. I'm sorry about not being able to update on Wednesdays, but I don't think I will for the rest of this month. See, school's almost over, finals coming up, you know. And we had a bit of standardize testing, drains the energy out of you. I just can't keep up with my work and write that fast. Forgive me.

All at Once

The girl held her breath, hoping against hope that this would work out in some way. It had taken her two months to finally come out of her parents house and march down here. And another five days to convince herself not to turn around or change her mind when the day came to actually be here. But here she was, standing at the door and deciding to press the doorbell. Here she was, squinting her brow up in frustration and hopelessness. She was completely terrified and there was no one's shoulder to lean on to help her out. 

Her free hand ran through her blond hair and her fingers trembled as they withdrew from the bell. If she were lucky Chi-Chi would answer, that would at least relieve some of the tension she was feeling. But apparently Fate was laughing at her, for it wasn't Chi-Chi's friendly face that was standing behind the door as it swung open, but the center of her distress instead. 

For a few moments she didn't know what to say, and her mouth flapped open and closed as he stared at her with malice. For a few moments she almost forgot who she was, trying hard to fight the fluttering that took place in her stomach every time he looked at her. She couldn't, and she didn't forget who she was, or where she was, or even why she was there. But she would have been lucky if she had forgotten for the thoughts only depressed her and made her want to run away at once. 

"What Marron?" His voice called out, tired and angry as he spoke to her. 

"I…I…" She couldn't form a complete sentence, her heart was tightening at his coldness and a lump was forming in her throat. Why did he have to be so cruel? She was trying to make things right again, she just didn't know exactly how.

He sighed and moved aside, letting her step onto the welcome mat, just barely inside the house but enough to show slight hospitality. "Yes?" He pressed on, shutting the door and noting the way her fingers trembled in uncomfortable awkwardness.

"I was wondering if Pan were here." She finally made out, looking up into his dark eyes, pleading written in her expression. She was fighting back the tears with every word, every gesture and movement, but it was with great effort. And she wasn't sure exactly why, she hadn't done anything to Goten. Well, not directly anyway. And she really hadn't talked to him since the day he stormed out of her apartment - no, _Trunks' _apartment.

And she'd left Trunks, so there was no need for him to be glaring at her with those vicious eyes the way he was at that moment. And yet, there was every reason in the world. She'd done everything wrong, hurt him in every way possible, and screwed up everything in ways she hadn't imagined it could be done. She had probably ruined a great friendship between two people, both of which she didn't deserve. And she possibly ruined a friendship between herself and the raven haired girl she was inquiring about at the moment, but she didn't deserve her either. 

She had put everything on the line to come here and do this, and for what? To not even be able to look him in the eyes now? She hadn't meant for this to happen at all. And yet it had. And things were worse than she could possibly imagine because of it. 

"Pan?" He asked, almost as if he were afraid he'd heard her wrong. Slightly incredulous as if he couldn't believe what she was saying. She looked down to her feet and nodded slowly, afraid of what his response would be. 

"Yes, Pan. I wanted to talk with her." He made a scoffing sound and she looked up, only to be greeted by a face that was twisted into disgust at her. 

"Pan hasn't been out of her room for three weeks, save going to the funeral. She's not up for _talking_. Especially with _you_." His lips upturned at her, into a cold sneer that not even Trunks could match, and she felt like scum. Complete and utter scum beneath his fingernails. For a fleeting second she wanted to ask the Kamis what she had done to deserve this, but then a picture of Trunks flashed through her head and she was humbled again. 

"I know she's not feeling well, and now's probably not a good time…but I…I just wanted to say-" She cut herself off, not able to complete the sentence and not able to look at his face again. Tears dripped slowly from her eyes as she rolled them into the top of her head, trying to fight them back. "I just wanted to see her for a minute." She finished softly, trying to erase the crying sound from her voice; it didn't work. 

"What is this Marron?" He asked, though his voice was still rough and hard, his facial expression had softened. He moved closer to her, placing a hand on her cheek and pulling her face up to level with his. His eyes were soft now as he wiped a stray tear from her cheek, glancing with concern. "Why are you crying?"

"I didn't mean for things to end up this way." She answered softly, her face taking on the qualities of a toddler, pouting and all. He released her chin, a discomforted and unsettled look on his face. She wasn't sure what he was feeling but she was sure she didn't want to know. She just wanted to get this over with, she just wanted to hurry up and do this so she could move on with her life. What little that was left of it. 

"Well, they did." His terse response came as he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. 

"I know they did, Goten. I don't need you to point out the obvious." She was slightly annoyed with the way he was receiving her. Why should he be upset with her? She was the one who should be upset. He'd ruined her life. Who told him to come into it and screw everything up? To twist her mind until she didn't know left from right and up from down? No one, that's who. He'd done it on his own and he had no right to be upset with her. But she had every right to be upset with him. How dare he? "I just thought that…" She couldn't finish, and even if she could have he wouldn't have let her. He cut her off. 

"You thought what? That you would come over here and I would smile and welcome you into my arms? That you could get rid of the big bad opposition and suddenly there would be nothing but sunshine and unconditional love in our future? What'd you think, Marron? Tell me." His angry eyes stopped her from moving, from even breathing regularly and her brain had drawn a complete blank. What was she supposed to say to that? If the heat of his words hadn't erupted into her thought she might have been standing there for years, trying to figure out how to respond. 

"I thought you loved me." She spoke more to herself than she did to him, looking back down at the floor. "But it doesn't matter," She didn't give him time to respond, didn't need to hear his response. "What matters is that I'm here to make things right. I came here to tell you that Trunks is really out of my life. And I didn't do it for you, and I didn't do it for Pan. I did it for me, and it's done." She wasn't sure she was making sense but she did know that she was feeling better. This was what she needed to say. This was what he needed to hear, even if it meant nothing to him now, he needed to hear it. 

"So what Marron? Am I supposed to smile an take you in my arms and say that things worked out great? This is my entire life you're talking about screwing up here and I'm going to need a better explanation than _you thought I loved you_." He crinkled his nose in annoyance and crossed his arms, angrily glaring at her. "Look at me." He commanded, gently pulling her face up again. "Look at me when we talk. And tell me what I'm supposed to do. Give me a reason to ruin my entire life, please. Because that one's not going to cut it."

"I'm not trying to ruin your life. And I'm not trying to ruin Trunks' life, or Pan's life or anyone's life. Especially not mine, even though it's too late for that. I'm just trying to do the right thing, follow what I believe I should be doing to the fullest. I'm not trying to make messes of things, and I'm sorry." 

"Of course not," He sighed, removing his hands and backing away from her. "Of course you aren't trying to make messes. Because if you were, who'd be there to clean them up? Definitely not you, right? That's too much work for little old you." His tone was derisive and it was clear that he was very upset. "Why can't you, just once, figure out what you want and fight for it? Screw everybody else?"

"Is this actually _you _telling me this? You who just told me that you needed a better reason to 'ruin' your life than loving me. Isn't that something you want? Shouldn't you be 'going after it', you know, 'screw everybody else'?" Her tone matched his as she continued on. 

"That's enough, Marron. I don't need you to come here and tell me I'm not going after what I want. I would, if I felt like it were worth it. If I felt like my life would be better if I had it. But you haven't given me a reason to yet, I'm still waiting." She bit her lips, trying to hide the pain his words caused her but failing. Tears were tickling the sides of her eyes again and she couldn't fight them off. 

"Goten, you don't understand. What you're asking of me, it isn't fair. Because I tried for so long, and I tried so hard, and I couldn't…Just…don't do this to me. You and Trunks have been friends for so long it's not right for me to even think about…It's just not right for us to…And I just." She stopped, sighing, frustrated and not able to fight the tears out of her voice anymore. She placed her hand to her mouth and whimpered into it, sniffing and drawing in a deep breath. "I just came here to talk to Pan. And to tell you…to tell you goodbye." She sniffed again and tried to calm her nerves. 

His eyes shot up in alarm. What did she mean, goodbye? What was she trying to say? "Where are you going, Marron?" He asked, his chest constricting as he considered what she was trying to say. As his mind wondered to what he knew she was referring to. "What are you talking about?" He was sure the panic was clear in his voice, written in his face. And the pain. He couldn't fight off the pain. 

"I'm…I just wanted to tell her goodbye, Goten. I just, I didn't mean for things to end up this way. I just got so upset because he loved her more than he could ever love me, and I did something that I never should have done. But I love her, I do, and I don't want her to hate me forever. I wanted to be there for her when she needed someone to lean on. I wanted us to be friends again, but things aren't going to work out that way. Could you tell her that I'm sorry, that I love her and….and goodbye?" She managed to control her crying long enough to get the words out, long enough to express her heart the way she needed to. Goten sighed, trying not to loose his patience and wanting to calm his frantic heart at the same time. She _was _saying what he thought she was saying. But she couldn't do this.

He hadn't planned on this. He had planned on seeing her sometime soon, to work things out. To tell her that they couldn't be more than friends if she wasn't prepared to offer her entire life to him; but he hadn't expected this at all. He hadn't thought he'd loose her completely. Hadn't imagined his life entirely without her. 

"Where are you going?" He repeated in a hoarse whisper, trying to maintain his last semblance of composure. 

"Away, Goten. I can't live like this. Like I said, I never meant for this to happen. I had no intention of screwing up everyone's lives so royally. Everything that's wrong is all my fault and the only way I can fix it is to disappear. I want you and Trunks to stay close. I don't want Trunks to draw away from Pan because he feels like she's the reason I left, and I think that's what he's doing. And I don't want Pan to avoid Trunks because she thinks he picked me over her, and I don't know why, but I feel like that's how she feels. So I'm fixing it the best way I know how. I'm removing the problem completely." 

"That's not going to fix anything. The only thing you're doing is running away from what you know is the only thing that's ever been right to you. Don't do this Marron, don't walk away from me." A desperate pull was overtaking his heart and couldn't watch her walk away. He'd watched her walk away too many times. With Trunks at prom, with that Abbot guy in college - she ran off with him for awhile and then back to Trunks again. And every time Goten watched her bounce from one guy to the other and back to his best friend, it tore him apart. But it wasn't until they got engaged that he fully admitted to himself why. And then he wanted to put his life into Paris, but that didn't work. 

It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't known she loved him too, and just wasn't aware of it. It wouldn't have been as bad as even that if he hadn't been aware of the way Trunks and Pan felt for each other and then he hadn't had to watch Marron make such a colossal mistake. But it had all happened and it was over now. And she was about to walk out of his life forever. He just couldn't let her. 

She turned around , completely prepared to leave but he put his hand on her shoulder and turned her back to him - facing him. It wasn't going to be that easy. "Marron, give me a reason." He pleaded, not willing to put himself on the line without any assurance. 

"Goten, no. I'm leaving and that's the end. I _do _love you but it just could never-" It was the warmth of his lips as they softly pressed hers that stopped her flow of speech. That was it, the only reason he needed. He just wanted to hear it, just wanted to know for sure. 

When he pulled apart the only thing that could be whispered was his only heart's desire. The only thing he'd ever wanted but was scared to dream of. "Can you love me for life?" Was his gentle response, looking intently into her eyes. 

"It's the only thing I've been sure of in months." She nodded her confirmation, pleased and confused at once but deciding she'd rather work out the details later. His lips were on hers again and the only thing she wanted to do was get lost in the embrace.

*

__

All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that, you're not coming back. And it finally hit me all at once. All at once, I started counting teardrops, and at least a million fell, my eyes began to swell. And all my dreams were shattered all once…

She sighed and pulled her feet up on the bed, a desolate look encumbering her face. Her eyes glanced up at the ceiling and she began making figures out of the intricately designed paint of it as creatively as possible. She was trying to keep her mind from wondering onto the real world but she wasn't being very successful. Her head was spinning and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shake reality far enough away. Memories flashed through her mind as she continued to try, unsuccessfully, to clear her head. 

__

Haven't you ever wanted to fall in love?

She sat bolt upright and looked around the room, eyes alert, heart pounding fast. Where was he now? She had just heard his voice so plainly. He should be somewhere near by, and yet he was nowhere. She found herself wondering - not for the first time or the last - why he wasn't around. How was this fair? Why had life taken away something so pure and full of energy, full of innocence? She was trying hard no to think about him while at the same time come up with an answer for her questions. 

This _wasn't _fair she resolved. Finally she just let her body relax again, falling leisurely on the bed, eyes closing slowly. His face assaulted her senses the second she relaxed. He was smiling down at her and rubbing her hair - she could still feel his caressing touch, his warm lips, his gentle smile. 

Why did these thoughts plague her? Why was he haunting her now, now when all she wanted was to clear her head. She just wanted to sleep, she hadn't slept for three weeks and now she couldn't think of anything she wanted more. But it was always the same, she'd close her eyes for only a few minutes of restless slumber each night. She hadn't been more tired, yet more restless in her life. She hadn't ever wanted sleep so badly that she'd resort to medicine before, but now that's the way she felt. Her dreams weren't getting any better. He was always there. Always smiling at her and telling her to try and have some fun. But she had nothing to be happy or celebrate about. She had nothing. Plain and simple.

She blinked a few times trying to erase his face from her memory. But still he smiled down at her, brown curls falling into his mystical green eyes. Green eyes that haunted her night and day. Why couldn't he go away? She just wanted him to leave her alone. But he was always there…and yet, he would never be there again.

__

You can't tell me you've never wondered, Pan. 

"I told you love only brought pain." She whispered, tears gathering around the corners of her eyes. She blinked them away and rubbed her hands over her face in an exhausted manner. "Now look what it's got you." She refused to cry as she pushed his memory into the far corners of her mind. This was driving her insane. She'd been sitting in her room for days, sulking, dying, pretending she didn't exist. She'd been sitting in this same position, staring at these same figures in her ceiling for what seemed like an eternity.

And now she had nothing left to do, nothing left to clear her mind with. The only thing she'd been able to do was study for classes and now it was the weekend, not to mention they had a break coming up that lasted for three days. So she had no studies to worry about. And she had no one to talk to. She still hadn't called Trunks. And he hadn't called her, and they were avoiding each other like _they _were the ones who'd just broken up.

She needed out of this house. Out of this hole. Out of the constant conformity of pretending to wake up, staring at the ceiling, pretending to eat, then pretending to go to sleep again only to pretend to 'wake up' the next day - because she'd never gone to sleep the night before. She needed to do something, and she knew what that something was, but she couldn't bring herself to make the journey. 

But now she was going insane. And the knowledge of that scared her more than anything else. She really was. She was seeing Gabe at odd places, she was talking to him in her room. In fact, she'd just done it moments ago. She was pretending like he was there to help her with her problems. He was still whispering about her needing to talk to Trunks, still badgering her in her head. And, while she knew he was dead, he was still living in her…someway. That's why she needed out. 

And suddenly everything was pouring down on her. She was realizing, for the very first time, that she'd never see him again. She was becoming aware that his smile would never light up her day again. He was gone. Completely gone from her life. Everything was over and she wasn't sure how this was fair. Again, that question found it's way into her mind. And the injustice of the situation made her want to cry all over again. He deserved to live. He deserved to be here more than she did. She had nothing to live for, but he had life itself, carved into the very center of his being. 

She wasn't worthy of living and she knew it. And she needed someone to hold her but there was no one. She needed someone to talk to, but the only person she trusted enough to share this with was the one person who wasn't talking to her right now. Dende what she wouldn't do for a friend. Suddenly real voices interrupted her pity party and she became aware of her uncle Goten. 

He seemed to be yelling at someone. But it didn't matter what he was saying, for his presence had just re-registered in her mind. He was there. She could talk to him. She always used to talk to him when she was younger. Always laid her burdens on his lap, and somehow he made things right. That is, after her grandpa wasn't….no, thinking of it only made things worse. Since Goku merged with the dragon balls she hadn't allowed herself to think about him for long occasions, and she wasn't about to make an exception now. Especially not _now_. That would be catastrophic. 

She blinked her eyes deeply and stood up, smoothing her clothes and deciding at once. She was going to talk to Goten. And he would make things better. Then she would go where she needed to go and everything would be put behind her. Finally, everything would be dealt with and she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Then Gabe would go away because all his 'business' would be finished. That is, after she talked to Trunks. 

Yes, she would talk to Goten. Then she would go where she needed to go. And then she would talk to Trunks and once all those things were done, she'd be rid of Gabriel because he'd have nothing left for her to do. All ghosts had to have unfinished business to be a ghost…or a spirit…or whatever he was. And once she'd taken care of everything he'd want from her, she wouldn't have to see him anymore. Wouldn't have to talk to him anymore. 

Resolved, she moved past her desk and opened her door, breathing in the air outside her room for the first time in what seemed like centuries. She didn't pause, for fear that she would run back into her haven and cower, the way she had been doing for almost a month. Her legs traveled down the stairs, then around them and into the living room. She walked straight through, to the door, to where she heard the voice in the first place. But when she got there what she saw made her want to throw-up and cry all over again. 

She couldn't do this. She couldn't deal with this. She couldn't think about it, she'd never seen it. She didn't know. She put her hands to her face, covering her eyes, and fought back the tears. Fought back the anger, the hurt, the betrayal. She didn't know. She didn't see it. She couldn't deal with it. She….she couldn't do it…no matter how hard she was trying to pretend. She couldn't . They were standing right there, kissing in her entry-way. Her uncle and her best friends ex-fiancée. She slowly removed her hands and tried to shut her mouth, but the site made her weak. And the thought of all the consequences to follow made her weaker. Her knees gave way and her body collapsed on the spot, figure crumbling as she took in the site. 

This wasn't happening. She couldn't deal with this… 

**

She hadn't talked to her uncle for two weeks since the incident. She hadn't even made it clear that she'd seen his fraternizing with Marron. After she regained herself, she had quietly pulled herself off of the floor and crept back through the living room, back up the stairs. It wasn't something she was ready do deal with. Or even think about. And, consequently, her plans had been set back. 

She lost the courage to leave her room. Lost the strength to do the one thing she knew she needed to do more than any other. Mainly because the first part of plan 'moving on' had failed horribly. She hadn't been able to talk to Goten, he wasn't able to make things better. He had more problems on his plate than she did on hers. She hadn't known he was interested in Marron at all and she didn't know what was going on. But whatever it was it couldn't have been just an accidental-one-time-thing. It couldn't have been because by simply doing what he did, just that once, he'd risked all trust that Trunks would ever have for him. 

And Goten would have to tell Trunks. There was no getting around it or avoiding it of any kind. There was nothing left but the upcoming of the revelation of the honest truth. And that was happening tonight. She was terrified slightly out of her mind and unable to put her feelings into words. But she was completely sure that the rest of her life was over. What hadn't already fallen apart in this past month and one week would soon come crumbling down. Everything would fall right onto her head and bury her before she had the strength to run away from it. Everything would destroy her tonight, when she saw the crushed look on Trunks' face. When she saw him and still couldn't talk to him.

But the immediate problems still existed. She was still seeing Gabriel. He was still telling her that she needed to talk to Trunks, and she was still sitting in her room. It was like she didn't exist anymore, but Gabriel did. It was scary because she was only talking to him these days. She'd left her room only to go to classes, and she'd even missed a few of those. She didn't go down for dinner - her mother left it outside her door - and she didn't eat breakfast or lunch. She was slowly falling apart. Her life was ending, her mind was corroding, and she was ceasing to exist with each day that passed. Could things get any worse?

Probably. And more than likely, they would tonight. Goten had made it pretty clear that he wanted to see everybody tonight. That he had an announcement to make and he didn't want to do it without the presence of _everyone_. And that mean Pan. Outside of her room, to look him in the eyes after she'd seen him kiss…And it also meant Trunks. And Marron. In the same room during her uncle's 'important announcement'. But most importantly, it meant Marron and Goten in the same room, making an announcement. After what she'd seen, this couldn't be good at all. This could only end in failure. Failure she wasn't ready for yet. Wasn't strong enough for yet. 

And that's why she was doing this. She had to get out of her room today or she would rot in it. She would spoil until she was no longer the same person she was, molding and melding until her body was contorted and her mental was destroyed. She wasn't going to be that person, she wasn't going to let herself fall apart, to shatter, before her very eyes. Not if she could do anything about it. And she could. She knew what it was and she was going to do it. Today, right now, before the rest of her life was over.

She slipped her feet into the shoes that were below her and gave herself a once-over in the mirror. Her hair was in a nice bun, though some of the long strands were falling out and lining her face, and her face was simply plain. There was a hint of chap-stick on her lips, but barely noticeable. Her clothes were a nice, plain blouse and black pants that made her look put together, yet almost as if she wasn't ready to be dressed. She had spent more time picking out this outfit than any other in her life. And it was important for what she was going to do - she didn't want the woman she was going to visit to get the wrong idea.

Finally, she pressed her hand to the cool metal of her door and stepped out, this time she wouldn't be turning back. Turning back had gotten her nothing.

*

By the time she got there she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it anymore. What possible excuse could she have for going to see this lady? What was she going to say? How could she express her sorrow for a woman who'd lost her husband in a divorce a little more than half a year before she lost her son to death? Did she even have any right to be at this door? 

"Well, Gabe, you tell me what I should do. It's your mother after all." She looked up, and then to both her sides, as if expecting him to appear, and waited for an answer. None came, other than her bold hand reaching out and pressing the doorbell on it's own, and she furrowed her brow thinking she had gotten her answer in the movement. There was nothing she could but wait now, she couldn't very well run away from the grieving woman's porch like that. 

So that's what she did. Waited. She tapped her foot against the stone pavement that was under her and looked around, standing in awkward silence, some place she wasn't sure she was supposed to be, for what seemed like an eternity. But what couldn't have been a minute even. Finally, the door flung open and bedraggled woman stood before her, eyes puffy and red, brown hair messy and un-brushed. Pan had only ever seen Ms. Henson look like this once before in her entire life. And that was the night she'd come over to surrender herself to Gabe. The night they kissed in the rain. Of course, that night she had interrupted the woman's sleep, and this time the bags that rested under her eyes were deeper and more noticeable. This time her eyes looked tired of crying, not just tired. This time she held a vacant, dead look. 

But the look disappeared the second she realized who was standing before her. A small smile, which looked as though it were painful to form, slid across the woman's face as she stuck her arms out. She pulled Pan tightly into her embrace, crying softly onto her shoulder the instant their flesh met. 

Pan was suddenly flustered and very unsure of what to do, so she did the only thing she could think of and pulled Ms. Henson tighter into her. She rubbed her hands along the woman's hair, not having much experience in the comforting area, and looked beyond her spot right outside the house sort of nervously. Finally, Ms. Henson let her go and wiped her eyes, looking at her as if she were the sun and this woman had never seen such a mysterious thing before. But still, the distant half smile were there so Pan didn't feel as awkward. 

"I'm so glad you came." Ms. Henson's voice came out rusty, as though she hadn't used it in a long time. "I've been meaning to stop by and see you, but I hadn't the time, lovie." Pan breathed a sigh as Ms. Henson stepped aside, letting her into the house. 

"Don't worry yourself with that, please. I just wanted to see if you were holding up. I would have been by earlier but…I couldn't….I couldn't…." She couldn't finish her sentence, her eyes had began to trail the floor, studying the pattern of the tiles as she talked to the air below her. 

"It's quite alright." Ms. Henson responded quickly, placing a comforting hand on her back and guiding her farther into the house. "I think we all feel that way. Would you like to have some tea with me? I won't ask you for dinner, I know how young life can be, but please, humor an old soul?"

"Oh, I would have gladly stayed for dinner, but you see, tonight is the first I'll have been out of my room and my father requested I spend it with him." She chose to leave out the details about Goten's need for a meeting, the woman didn't know much of her family and she wouldn't have understood it. "However, I'd love to stay for tea. And…perhaps a talk, if you're feeling up to it?" She was tentative about the last part, not really sure how Ms. Henson was feeling about company. 

"I would love a chat, deary." The woman nodded, leading Pan into the kitchen.

*

Pan nodded to the woman, standing up and smiling in a polite way. "I had a wonderful talk with you, Ms. Henson. I really appreciate you humoring me." Strangely, she didn't feel like she was going through the motions when she was with this woman. And, strangely, she didn't feel like the words that had just run off her tongue were lies. She had honestly had a good time, it was a relief to be out of the confines of her room. Ms. Henson stood up as well, shaking her head at the girl as if to say 'no problem'. 

"Just promise me one thing," The woman asked Pan, looking pleadingly into her eyes.

"Anything, miss." 

"Well, in that case, two." She smiled wearily as Pan nodded, running her hands through her brown strands of hair. "First, that you'll call me mom, because I'm sure that was Gabriel's intention with you." Pan smiled and let a small laugh flow from her lips. It was a sad sound that echoed through the house and made both the women shiver. 

"Alright, mom it is." She spoke softly, nodding in confirmation. "What else?"

"Promise me you won't let me die all alone in this place." The atmosphere dropped around Pan as she looked into the soft green eyes of this woman, eyes that matched her son's so well. She was nodding before she had the time to grasp the full gravity of what the woman was saying. "Say it, Pan, dear. Say you'll come by and see me now and then. Have some children and bring them by, tell me about your life. I lost my only child already, I don't have any other family. I don't know if you know," She started, just as Pan was about to ask about Toby. "But my sister and I aren't on speaking terms. Something happened a long time ago, when we were just foolish children, and we've never forgiven each other for it. Toby rarely stops by and when he does it's always strained and he has to rush away. Besides, I've always preferred women company to men." 

She paused again, giving a sad smile and wondering if she was talking too much. But Pan was listening intently so she kept going. "I never had a daughter, but I always wanted one. And when Gabe would come home and rave about you, I just knew you were his one. And then they found this on him…you know, that day…And it only confirmed my suspicions. So, all I'm asking is that you humor me. Let me pretend for a while." She had pulled something out of her purse and placed it on the table, sliding it across to Pan.

The young girl looked down at it and her heart stopped, her face blanched. It wasn't what she thought it was, was it? It couldn't be. She lifted a few trembling fingers to touch the box idly, while eyeing Ms. Henson out of the corner of her eye. "Is this…?" She finally managed to say, drawing in a shaky breath and catching the wind in her throat. She coughed to clear the blockage and lifted her eyes up to the elder woman. "Is it…?"

"Open it." Was her gentle reply, as she nodded, eyes twinkling for her own reasons. Pan shut her eyes and swallowed hard, combating the tears again. Now she was aware of everything she'd lost, more than she had been before. Suddenly, it was hitting her again. That 'all at once' feeling she'd come to hate so much. She just wanted to die. Her hands reached out and grabbed the box, knowing it was a ring box, and pushed it open. Sure enough, sitting right in the center, was nothing less than an engagement ring. A simple band with a nice diamond in the middle. It looked expensive, but tastefully so. 

"He was coming to ask me to…" She couldn't finish, couldn't think it, the thought was so horrible. He'd died because of her. She wished she could go back in time. She would have, she would have married him right then if he had asked. She wouldn't have thought twice. 

Or maybe she was just feeling this way now because she knew she never could. Maybe she was only thinking she would have married him at this very moment, because she was painfully aware that the opportunity would never arise again. And it had always been like her to want what she couldn't have. To crave what she could never touch. Why was she so damn impossible?

"I know you said you had to leave, dear. But I just have to run upstairs and get something for you real quick. Could you wait a few minutes while I find it?" Ms. Henson's voice brought her back the present. Could she wait? If she waited any longer she would be late for Goten's meeting for sure. But it didn't matter. 

"Yes." She finally answered, never taking her eyes off the ring that was sitting comfortably in that box, taunting her. 

Ms. Henson smiled and nodded, heading out of the kitchen and out of Pan's sight. It was a few minutes, indeed, before she came back, and Pan was still in her trance - though she had closed the ring box by that time. The older woman was carrying another box in her hand, it was rectangular and metal, with fancy designs carved into it. Pan looked up at it curiously, wondering what it could be filled with. 

"Here." Ms. Henson said, placing the box in front of Pan. It made a loud sound, as if it were heavy, when it hit the old oak table. Pan tilted her head and looked at it, not asking anything, just sitting there numbly. 

"I think he would want you to have it." Ms. Henson informed her. "Now, I'm not rushing you, but I do think your father will be angry with me if I keep you away from him any longer. So, will you come back one day?"

"I promise I will." Pan told her, nodding as she stood up. She hugged the woman and gathered her things, saying good-bye and smiling as nicely as she could. Though her mind was pounding and she was suddenly very unsure of everything that was going on. So, back to the house she would go. Where things would inevitably be screwed up some more. 

A/N: So, I know, this chapter was booring. I thought it was boooring to write. But sometimes you have to get through the bad to get to the better. Come back next chapter and it's _sure _to be 'interesting' ^.~ I mean, Pan's going to see Trunks after like, more than a month? Some blow up scenes, some life changing decisions, some mistakes, and consequences sure to follow, I promise. Oh, it's going to be fun! -evil laughter- The climax of my story, and you thought I was there already, didn't cha?

So, I guess it's time I do this again. I actually like this part though…Anywho, my thanks and appreciation go to:

Hanamaru285, bella, anonymous, Pia Bartolini, Jezika, Kaji Hikage- sorry I made you cry, Dragon Priestess, Deidra, sugar, KoreanChick, mystic, Luna-C - sorry I made you cry too, DBZChicky501, Rika-chan, bec126, a fan, dolphin, Reneex, dragon agility, black diamonds, DBprincess116, Yokiko Pan, Camille, MiraiGurl, Lollygurl22, and Ketty, V-chan, Eneri, nz gecko, Jezika, pannygurly, Aeris Deathscythe, dbz obsessed, T, qui, Trunxgurl, Rose, LoNeLy*PaN, Krazy-Carla, Matchmaker 88, john, Houriko- thank you so much! ^-^, Cheeze Weazel, ~*vintageskater*~, chibigoten124/SSJ3MysticPan 

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Gecko- Well, you see, I just imagine Trunks as emotional, but only to a point. Kind of like a drama-queen. (-winces when she says that and hopes not to be smacked-) I love Trunks, but I think, with Bulma as his mother, how could he not be? So, I know he cried a lot and all, and he'll cry again in the next chapter, but then he'll suck it up. We all love Trunks but he can be a girl sometimes. Anywho, I'm glad you liked the chapter and sorry I didn't warn about the tissues. 

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Morgause Nokami- I love Gabe, he's still alive in my head. I love him, love him. I'm sorry 'bout that. 

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Juunanagou4ever- Trunks 'loved' Marron. He's still 'in love' with Marron. (can you hear the sarcasm?) Trunks would never do anything to hurt Pan, had no idea she was in love with him. (still, the sarcasm) He's sorry that she could never be more than a friend to him, and next chapter he will express that sorrow (after you read next chapter you will understand that sarcasm). Anyway, you'll find that me working myself out of impossible situations is my most favorite thing to do in writing. And I'd been planning Gabe's death since day one of this plot. I know she should be afraid of love now, that's part of what adds to it. I love that element the most, and it makes everything else make since. Keep that in mind for later on. 

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Dark Anjel- your reviews are not pointless, I love reading them. But if you only want to leave a (.) from now on I'm not complaining. As long as I know you're still reading. ^-^

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Incoherence- don't worry about it. The most frequently asked question was 'you killed gabe!?' so, everything's good. I didn't put 'again' because it was just more emotional for me to simply put 'he never opened them'. I don't know, there was something more final about that to me. -shrug- I'm glad you enjoyed reading though. 

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Dbzfan550- You weren't pestering. I like to know people are interested, I didn't mind, really. 

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Pia Bartolini/ nz gecko- About FK. I'm going to write the sequel. I have to get myself past the first page, and then I'm going to write it. I promise! I'm not going to just leave it like that, and it will be done sometime during this fic or right after. I _promise_!

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ShadowWind- I loved your review. Thank you so much. 

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YunaAngelofHell- There's no such thing as reviewing too late. 

A/N 2: All right, if I put anyone more than once or left anyone off, it was purely an accident or I was too lazy to erase their name from one pile because they were in another. I'm sorry. Just one more thing and then I'm gone, I swear. I just wanted to thank you guys tremendously for reviewing my works. I love it so much when I come home and I have a review in my e-mail. It makes my life, that and when the fan fictions I read update. I love to know what you think, even if it's not positive, so I can know how you're feeling and how I can improve next time. Summing that up: Thank you for your reviews and please keep them coming. ^-^


	10. Lessons on Friendship

  
Disclaimer: Alright, you caught me, I don't own it. Sorry 'bout the mix up.   
Disclaimer 2: (forgot this last time :-/) I don't own the title of chapter 9 (All at Once) nor do I own the italics at the beginning of Pan's part which contain the lyrics to All at Once. They belong to Whitney Houston and all others who collaborated in that work.  
  
A/n: First I'd like to say sorry that it took so long to update. I'd fill your head with excuses but I don't wanna, so we'll just leave it at: I'm lazy, end of story. I'll try better next time. Next, I'd like to thank you lovely people who review me every week and give me wonderful criticism and the like. I love you! ^-^ And lastly, and this is **important**, this chapter is **pushing my PG-13 rating**, just a warning. I don't think it's that bad, but there is some…er…for a lack of a more creative word, _controversial_ stuff in this chapter that might upset you (sexually controversial that is…) and if you don't like it, skip over it. It's nothing too bad, again, but just a warning. And don't be too mad if it's kind of poorly written and you want to laugh at me or something, took me three different drafts before I stopped editing it :-/ Never written anything even _close_ to that before. Oy, this a/n is long so I'll shut-up.

Lessons on Friendship

The room went completely silent the minute the words left his lips. No one was sure they'd heard right and no one was willing to ask. Only Pan had had the least bit warning of what was to come from this 'announcement' and even she hadn't expected things to be taken this far. The surroundings were weighted with a heavy atmosphere, but it had been since Pan walked in - late because Ms. Henson had kept her. She'd been the last one to arrive and there was a quiet patience as everyone else waited for her to put her things away. 

She'd come down and everyone tried to have a civil dinner, void of awkwardness, but failed. Marron kept biting her nails and glancing weightily at Trunks. Trunks who kept his head as low as possible at all times, making sure his eyes didn't meet with anyone else's. Especially Pan's. Pan who kept getting sympathetic looks from Bulma and Bra and guilty looks from Marron - who was trying to smile in her direction like a good friend.

Vegita had been statically silent and Eighteen and Krillin had kept their faces stony the entire night. Gohan took more time to glare at Trunks than eat his food and left Pan quizzically curious. What had Trunks done that was so wrong? It seemed as if everyone were being casually cold in his direction, holding glares in their eyes and smiles on their faces. But shouldn't he be getting sympathetic looks as well as her? He'd suffered as well, albeit not as traumatically. Had she missed something? Because everyone seemed to be holding some covert hostility towards Trunks and she had no idea why. And apparently he didn't either, for all through dinner he continued to stare dramatically at his plate. 

After dinner was over, they had all moved into the small living space of the Sons. And then he had done it - Goten had announced the news that had everyone shocked into horrified silence. 

And that's where they all were, looking at one another to make sure the other had heard what they'd heard. When someone did dare to speak, it was Vegita, who sliced through the quiet with his sharp words of 'approval', and woke everyone from their stupor. 

"Well that's good for you boy," He announced in his usual passive voice, calm but slightly annoyed. "You called us _all _here to tell us _that_?" It was clear that he didn't feel he should be there, his tone was saying it for him, _why should _I _care?_ Then he mixed a 'humph' with a grunt and crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair he was so placidly resting on. 

"Vegita!" Bulma whispered, hoarse but harsh as her face paled. "Watch your mouth tonight.' Her eyes briefly cut at him and then glittered back to her son, seated next to her, as she regarded him the way one would a pile of broken glass. Her hand snaked out cautiously and she rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes opened and closed numbly a few times as he took in his surroundings. Quickly, once his eyes were back to normal, he snatched his body away from her reach and the room fell into uncomfortable silence again. Goten didn't dare respond to Vegita and Marron was fidgeting with a flustered look that said she would fall apart any second. 

Pan's face was also flustered, but for an entirely different reason. She was more than furious with her uncle for this announcement. She couldn't believe he was doing this, was willing to do this, would risk it after all they'd been through. Who did he think he was? He'd truly lost his mind, had truly blown it this time. He was wiling to throw away a lifetime's worth of friendship over this…over her? She wasn't worth the risk and before Pan could stop herself, the words had run out of her mouth. 

"She's not worth it." She stated firmly, eyes glossed and lost in her own world. Marron took a glance at her, received the girl's meaning, and choked. Then she fell into a fit of tears, quietly and dignified; she didn't move to wipe them away or hide their existence from anyone's view, only sat as if she weren't really crying at all. 

"Pan," Gohan softly chided, scorn very lightly pasted on his face, though it was clear he wasn't truly upset. At least, not with her. She wasn't so sure how he felt about Trunks at the moment, or Goten for that matter. 

"I guess, congratulations are in order." Videl jumped in, trying to break the ice. She laughed nervously and fidgeted with her hair, hands faltering only slightly, lips upturning in a painful kind of smile. But it was at the moment that she chose to bring some semblance of peace - of calm - that Trunks found his voice, hopping up and cutting her off before she could continue. 

"Have you lost your mind, Goten? You can't be serious." He pushed a small laugh out of his throat and stared with glossy, disbelieving eyes.

"Would I kid about something like this?" Was Goten's soft, routine answer. It sounded as if he'd been waiting for that question from the beginning, and he probably had. 

"You're not seriously going to…to…You're not considering…" Trunks couldn't even form the words they were so horrible. He had a strange sense that if they fell off his lips they would burn his tongue, his mouth, like acid. He couldn't repeat anything that horrible and he didn't even want to think on it. This was some kind of sick practical joke, some form or torture, some atrocious nightmare. "You two shouldn't even be dating, much less…" Again, he couldn't say it. 

"Trunks," Goten tried to begin in a soothing voice, but he was cut off by Trunks' mindless rambling. 

"You guys aren't serious. This isn't going to last, it's a minimal fling, not worth your time Goten. You'll never-" 

There was anger in Goten's eyes when he interrupted this time, and his voice came out in a harsh sort of soothe, like an adult who was telling a child not to play with matches. "I'd never risk our friendship over something that wasn't guaranteed to last, Trunks." Pan wanted to wince after he'd said the statement, but fought back the urge. She knew what Trunks' reaction to that would be, and it wouldn't be good. At the mention of 'friendship' Trunks drew in a deep breath and stared at Goten as if seeing him for the first time. 

"And yet you don't mind throwing it away for her? Years worth of friendship, of standing by each other's sides, of being there for one another. Years worth of having each other's backs and defending each other in the time of need. And you're going to equate it all to nothing for this? How can you…" He voice dropped so low that no one could hear it anymore, and everyone was shifting nervously in their seats. Goten tensed and glared at Trunks, not really trusting himself to respond - things were bad enough already. He simply responded with a calm, 

"I don't like what your tone suggests of Marron. You make it seem as if she's not worth _anything_, Trunks. I can't help the way I feel, and I won't pretend I don't… - I'm just not going to sit around here and watch her walk away because I was too afraid of what would happen if I said or did something. You can understand that, can't you?" 

"Understand? Goten I don't understand it at all. You're supposed to be my friend, you're supposed to be there for me when I need you. And I'm supposed to be able to trust you. I don't need someone that's going to steal my soul because I turned my back for too long. That's not friendship, that's betrayal, and no, I don't understand it." 

Vegita sat up in his chair and opened his mouth to say something, probably something nasty, but he caught the side look Bulma was giving him and closed it promptly, sitting back in his seat and looking aggravated again. Gohan scooted closer to the end of his chair, seeing the way his brother was tensing and un-tensing, seeing the anger in Trunks' eyes. He didn't want the boys to resort to violence and ruin everything over something that wouldn't matter in two years. Finally Goten seemed to find the words to respond, and they weren't pretty words either.

"How dare you stand here and preach to me about morals and the importance of trust in friendship!?" He was nearly yelling now, outraged that Trunks could form the words. "How can _you _say anything to _me_? You're a self-righteous bastard, Trunks." He was standing now, and Gohan was easing farther into his chair, getting tenser by the second. This didn't look promising. 

"You call me here to tell me that, two months after Marron and I decide not to get married, _you're _going to marry her, and _I'm _self-righteous? You've got some nerve." Trunks clenched his jaw, glaring at Goten, unable to comprehend the turn this conversation had taken. Two seconds ago he was the one being betrayed, and Goten managed to turn it around somehow. Trunks didn't know how, but he sure as hell was about to find out. Both boys marched up to each other's faces, not stopping until they were only mere inches apart, and glared intently at the other. Everyone in the room held their breath, no one dared to say anything, but Gohan inched farther still, out of his chair. 

"Don't play innocent with me." Goten spoke, dangerously low and threatening in his tone. There was more anger in his eyes than anyone had ever seen him possess before, and Chi-Chi was wiggling nervously, while Videl pulled on the fingers of one of her hands with the fingers of the other. Bulma held her breath and looked uneasily between the boys, hoping they could talk their way out of the anger, hoping that Trunks would yell and then feel better. He'd been holding too much in lately. 

"Don't stand there and act like you're everyone's Mr. Perfect Night in Shinning Armor. And don't ever preach to me about morals. You don't have any, if you did, you would have called." 

"What?" Trunks asked, anger momentarily lifting from his face and twisting into confusion. 

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. No one else wants to say anything, but I'm not walking on eggshells for you, oh mighty Prince of Saiyan." His voice was condescending as he continued, still close to Trunks' face, still angry as he spoke. "In case you haven't noticed because your head's too far up your ass, take a look around. Everyone in this room wants to kill you save the two people who should want to more than us." His eyes glanced at Marron and then locked on Pan. 

"I didn't do-" 

"Save it, you prick. You should have called. Correct me if I'm wrong but we didn't receive a single call from you this or last month. Right?" Trunks glanced around the room, frustrated because somehow Goten had made him look like an ass, and still confused because he didn't have a clue what the man was getting at. 

"We all sat around and held our breaths while she died, piece by piece, because the only person she wanted help from was too busy pitying himself to give a damn. Do you realize how many times we knocked on her door and were turned away because she was still holding on to this ideal fantasy where you would come and rescue her? Can you even guess? Do you care?" 

Trunks' face flashed a tirade of rage before settling upon restful hurt. "You know I do." His voice was softer, a torn and panicked expression plastered on his face.

"I'm not so sure." Goten shook his head, glancing at Marron who'd dried her tears, and suddenly he switched topics. Now he was talking about Marron. "Don't blame her for what happened here. Don't blame her for what did and didn't work, she tried, we both know she did. It wasn't her fault. You can blame me all you want to, I don't give a damn, but not her. And especially not _her_." His eyes were stationed at Pan again, and he was once again referencing her. "It's not her fault things worked out the way they did. It's not her fault you spent months dismissing and ignoring what's right in your face. It's not her fault you shut yourself off from the word while you tried to decide if you loved her or not. And it's not her fault you didn't love _her _either." 

Trunks' fist made contact with Goten's cheek before he could catch himself; he was fuming. His breath came out in ragged breaks as Goten fell back and caught his balance. Gohan was on his feet, but made no move to get between them as their spat continued, though Goten made no move to hit him back. The women cupped their mouths with their hands - all except Pan who was scowling deeply - and managed an offended look. Vegita began to laugh as Trunks' question reached the air. 

"Which one were you talking about? Which one don't I love?" 

"I don't know, Trunks." Goten responded smugly, wiping blood off his bottom lip. "Because you don't. I guess you need to figure it out." It was clear Goten had had a specific 'she' in mind and was only pulling Trunks' leg. 

The purple-haired saiyan growled as he picked up on Goten's hidden meaning, still not sure who he was talking about, he continued on anyway, "I do love her. And I would never hurt her on purpose. And I don't need a dick like you trying to make me feel worse. It was never a question of how I felt, I just needed time so I could figure things out. So I could work things out with her _because _I love her, but then you came screwing with my mind." He paused, then continued on, if only to convince himself. "It was never a question of whether I loved her or not, I always have. And you're not helping matters." His fists were still clinched as if he wanted to hit Goten again, and he did want to. 

"Now who are _you _talking about?" Goten mused, knowing the answer but also knowing Trunks had no idea. Trunks frowned, too angry to analyze what he'd just said, or even wonder where it had come from, and shook his head. He heard his father's laughter in the background again, but fought the urge to knock the smile off the man's face - that was more than he could chew. 

"I don't know." He answered honestly, lowering his head in shame. Goten stepped back, clenching his fist and ready to punch some sense into the boy but someone's voice interrupted. 

"Stop it, just stop it. I've had enough." It was Pan. She covered her head with her hands, looking distressed. "I don't need this. I don't…I don't need you and Trunks fighting. I don't want you two to be like this. I don't need this stress. And I _don't _need you two talking about me like I'm not sitting right here! So just stop." She fought back the tears as she flared her power to let them know that she was serious. If they fought they'd have to take her out before they could get to each other. "One of you needs to leave." 

Her command lingered in the air for innumerable seconds, hanging over everyone's head with deadly pressure; no one had the nerve to move or breath too loudly - even Vegita had stopped laughing. Trunks and Goten were having a staring contest with one another to see who would give in before the other. Finally, Trunks began to get irritated, his anger and conscience weighing on him, and he looked at Pan. 

"I'll go." He stated simply, but his eyes looked so sad and detached that Pan was afraid of what would happen when he left. He turned to walk away and she quietly spoke to stop him, but her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that when she called out it was more of a yell. 

"Wait!" His head turned back to face hers, eyes searching in a mystified expression of regret. She couldn't possibly forgive him, could she? And yet the look on her face that followed the command proved him wrong. The eyes of every person in the room were lingering on her, she could nearly hear the breath being held. She walked over to her father and whispered something in his ear, knowing he wasn't going to like what she had to say. 

Gohan eyed her wearily from his position on the floor, still standing as if he were waiting for a bomb to explode. He wanted to call out some kind of protest but was at a loss for words, the extent of today's misgivings finally weighing him down. But he simply didn't want her to do it, the girl was far too emotionally scarred right now to be in the company of another emotionally scarred person. If something were to go wrong between Trunks and Pan tonight, they'd never be able to mend the void. And his daughter might break from the pressure of it all. 

Finally, he opened his mouth to say something, but wisely looked about him. She was already gone, had already pulled Trunks out of the door. A shiver ran up Gohan's spine as he thought back on the girl's words. _I'm going to stay with him tonight, daddy_. That was a bad omen, this couldn't turn out good. He didn't trust Trunks in this state. _I don't trust him to be alone_. Apparently, neither did Pan. 

"What are you doing?" Trunks asked Pan as though she were crazy, after they had made it out of the door without farther incident. 

"Yeah, because I was going to let you be alone right now. That would have been smart of me." She supplied, sarcasm dripping in her voice. 

"It's not your job to look after me, you know, I'm a grown man." He tried to place annoyance in his voice but it was clear that he was very blank of any emotion; not even bitterness was seeping out of him and it made her heart hurt to see his eyes. 

"You could try acting like it sometimes." She muttered, annoyed despite his obvious lack of any emotion. "Listen, let's just go." She softly supplied, wanting to ease the terrified shivers that danced down her spine as her eyes lingered on his void depths. She quickly looked away. 

"Well, where'd you have in mind?" He questioned stubbornly, it being clear that he didn't want her company, and yet, just as clear that he did. 

"Wherever you were about to go will do just fine." She countered, not willing to be shoved aside anymore. She wasn't going to leave him alone in this condition, and that was final. 

"I was about to go to the office. I still have some papers I need to read through and I don't want to bore you. So you can go back into your house and don't worry about me, I'll be fine." 

"I don't care if you're the happiest person on this earth, Trunks. I haven't seen you in over two months and now you're trying to get rid of me for some pieces of paper? I'm coming and that's the end of it." 

"Don't bother trying to humor me, Pan. I know why you're insisting and I'm not going to let you come. Go back inside." He took on a fatherly tone that said he wouldn't be swayed, but that wasn't a good idea because it only seemed to enrage her. 

"I am not leaving you alone when you're in this state, Trunks! Don't argue with me, there's no point, I'm not giving in." She set her feet in the pavement and turned her head upwards in an indignant fashion that clearly stated she was going to win. He sighed, not having the energy to argue anymore, knowing he was too tired to do anything but crawl over and die, and rolled his eyes. He was giving in. 

"Pan, I'm not liable for what I say or do in this state. You don't want to be there for rock bottom." He tried to warn but she wasn't hearing his excuses. 

"Fine, I've been warned. That means nothing to me. I'm the best friend you have right now, maybe the only, and I'm not letting you throw that away because you're pitying yourself too much to care that I care." She sent him a glare that made him _wish _he were fighting Goten instead of arguing with her. 

"I've always cared, Pan. I-"

"Don't say anything else, Trunks. Let's just go to your office, shall we?" He nodded, not able to meet her eyes anymore. Sometimes it was just too hard to pretend he was alright. 

*

"Alright then," Pan said as they stepped into his office, flicking on the light switch and wincing as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. "Get what you need and let's go." He raised an eyebrow at her curiously. 

"What do you mean, 'let's go'?" He smiled briefly, but it never reached his blue orbs, and tried to take on a playful manner. "We're going where?" 

"Your place, of course." She answered as though it had been previously discussed. 

"Why would _we _do that?" He asked, while walking over to his desk and taking a seat. His hands automatically began shuffling through papers and she sighed. 

"Because I told you I wasn't leaving you alone like this, and I'm sure you hadn't planned on staying in your office all night." She responded dully, but he never stopped a beat, flipping through papers and smiling lightly all the while. 

"What makes you so sure? That's _exactly _what I planned on doing. Wouldn't be the first time I've pulled an all-nighter." She snorted and then looked at his face. Seeing his 'serious' resolve she sighed and shifted the weight of her body onto the other foot. 

"Fine." She answered curtly, walking into his office and taking a seat. She knew what he was trying to do and she wasn't going to let him. He wasn't going to bore her away with work, she'd said she wasn't leaving him and she meant it. "Do you need any help with anything?" She decided to beat him to his ultimate goal. She was sure that he believed the second he asked for help she'd be out of there like there wasn't a tomorrow, because she hated being his 'secretary' more than anything. Paperwork was so boring to her, but she wasn't going to give him the upper hand. 

"No thanks, Pan." He shook his head, really involved in the paper he was looking over. He blindly stuck his free hand out and patted the desk until it landed on a pen. He brought it up to his mouth and pulled the cap off, then he began to scribble furiously. She watched him for a good ten minutes before she grew bored, realizing that he really was going to work, and she sighed, getting up from her chair and walking over to the floor. She took a seat cross-legged and began to amuse herself with picking pictures out of his tiled floor instead of her painted ceiling, the same way she'd done at her house for weeks. But at least while Trunks were sitting there she wouldn't get a visit from Gabriel and begin to talk to him. 

*

It was a long time before he dropped the pen and lowered his head into his hands, exhaustion creeping in. He couldn't pretend anymore, couldn't ignore anymore. The scribbling had stopped and Pan rose from her position on the floor to try and see Trunks' face. She became aware of the unnatural way his shoulders rose and fell while his head was in his hands. A sob erupted from his lips and she moved around his desk to swivel his chair in her direction. She'd been preparing for the moment when he would break, knew it was coming soon, and knew exactly what to say to snap him out of it. 

The girl roughly pulled his hands away from his face and gave him the meanest scowl she could muster. "Grow up, Trunks." She fought the urge to smack him back to his sense. Her eyes locked with his and she could see the withheld passion - he wanted to smack her too. "Marron is gone. She's happy at least. And she's alive, so just grow up." 

"You don't know what it's like Pan, you've never loved someone you couldn't have that way." She huffed, disbelief overtaking her features, and puffed her eyes out, shock written clearly in them. A scoff rolled off her lips before she could stop it and she, once again, restrained herself from hurting him. 

"Haven't I?" Her eyebrows lifted questioningly. 

"Gabriel doesn't count, he never left you Pan." He answered without really thinking about it and her eyes looked over his with a blank confusion. What was he doing? Why was he pretending as if he wasn't aware of how in love with him she was?

"Then where is he, Trunks?" She decided against yelling that she'd never loved Gabriel, that she couldn't have _him_. 

"That's not the point Pan." He shook his head, still completely oblivious to his surroundings. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she wasn't sure how to even respond to this. Had he gone completely crazy? Maybe he was just in a very delicate sense and she should play along, in case he snapped or something. And she had thought she was bad. 

"What's the point, Trunks?" She asked softly, the way a mother would ask a child to describe their invisible friend. He took no notice to her voice infliction and answered her question without hesitation or any sign of the annoyance one would give if they knew they were being patronized. 

"The point is, I'm past hurt. I'm dead. Look," He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "It's only beating because it's used to it. Mechanics are all I know. It's all I have left. I work because I've always worked, it's what I did before and it's what I do now. I haven't got anything else." His tears dropped and rolled onto the hand that she'd just placed on his shoulder. She reluctantly sighed and pulled him into her arms, upset with the turn things had taken. How was she supposed to snap him to his senses when he was being so emotional and difficult? Not to mention slightly frayed and unnerved. "I don't even have my pride now," He continued on. "I'd never cry in front of anyone…before…Well, not anyone else."

"Shh." She soothed as a whimper fell from his wounded lips. She ran her hands through his hair and then down to his neck. "It's okay, you know. You have me, Trunks. You'll always have me." She placed her lips on his cheek warmly then pulled back and rubbed his neck again. He pulled away from her and met his eyes with hers, their breathing synchronized at a slightly increased speed, and it was like the entire atmosphere in the room changed. His eyes were no longer distant, he was there. He wasn't seeing past her anymore, he was seeing her, he was feeling her, he knew who she was and that she was there. He was aware that he was crying childishly and he wiped the tears away. 

A small smile played on his lips as he fought back the blush that was threatening to rise. "Thanks, Pan." He nodded at her, acknowledging what she'd said. "I love you, you know, sometimes I think you're the only one I can love. Not even Bra or Mom knows how to calm me the way you do." Her stomach lurched with the familiar lovely pain of butterflies as he made the confession and she bit down on her lip to keep the smile from coming. She was ashamed that even in a time like this her feelings were still fluttering around her head and weighing so heavily it made it hard for her to breathe. And she wanted to say that his confession held nothing but brotherly affection behind it but there was a distinctive glow there that she hadn't ever known him to use before and she felt as if he were saying much more than she heard.

"Thank you." He repeated as he stood up to pull her body into a hug. He held onto her tightly, as if he were afraid she wouldn't be there if he let go, his arms wrapped around her waist in a strong hold. The simple touch made her heart speed and she silently chastised herself for being so easily intrigued by his touches. He needed her to be calm and supportive right now, not another girl that threw herself at his feet. But the hand that was slowly moving up her back wasn't helping matters, only making them worse. The caress was too light to do anything but send shivers of joy and electricity through her body while tickling her simultaneously. His other hand had moved down, resting protectively on her hip, and she found herself wondering if he was still aware of his surroundings. Had he blanked out on her again and forgotten she was really there? Her conscience was telling her to pull away from him, because he didn't know what he was doing to her, but the rest of her protested. Even if he wasn't aware that she was who she was, he was aware of what he was doing, his fingers were playing lightly with her lower back and it had caused her to arch her back against him, to press her body into his. And when she tried to pull away, even the slightest, he pulled her back, lightly. So she closed her eyes and welcomed the new feelings without farther hesitation. 

Warm, heated interest shot through him when her body pressed to his and he was shocked, apparently, not expecting the sensations that she stirred within him. So when she made a move to back away, he acted on instinct and pulled her closer, curious as to why the sudden spark had occurred. His curiosity led him to place a small kiss on the top of her head, a mournful expression of his sorrow and gratitude toward her for being there for him. Her head upturned as she looked into his eyes, suddenly very aware of the electricity and desire flowing through her entire body, through the entire room. 

Her eyes were wide and he could see that she wasn't protesting to the contact at all. Her face looked so innocent, so trusting, that he almost felt guilty for what he did next, almost. His brain was nearly shut down by this point, or it was working too slow to keep up with his actions, and he lowered his head, breathing on the side of her face. Slow exhales that were an attempt to calm the heat racing through his system. He closed his eyes for a long second, as if he were in pain, and pressed his lips onto her cheek, lingering his skin on hers for a lengthy amount of time. He had expected the desire to leave him by now, for he wasn't out of his mind. He wasn't out of his boundaries, he knew where he was, he knew who he was with. When he pulled away her face turned, looking at him again, both of them amazed by the passion of the moment.

His head lowered again, his intent to kiss her nose in hopes that the sparks had gone away. But her body lifted up, her feet on tip toes, and her mouth softly pressed to his. He didn't move away, the way his brain was telling him to, as he realized the contact was taking place. Instead he pressed back lightly, the way one would dip a toe into water to test the temperature, still hoping that the feeling was gone. But as his lips met with hers, soft as he tried to make the contact be, a burning desire spread through him and he wanted nothing more than to pull her closer. To press her body against his and mold it until they melded together.

His hold on her grew tighter still, as his lips placed more force into the kiss, his mouth opening slightly, hesitantly leading her to follow. She felt his tongue trace the edges of her lower lip, up until it found the center - the meeting place - and glided skillfully across, silently asking her for entrance. Shivers ran through her and if she wanted to, she couldn't have kept her mouth closed against him. Her heart was fluttering far too fast and she couldn't stop herself. She didn't know why she was doing this, her head was telling her that he was envisioning her as someone else, but her body didn't care. She was willing to be anyone he wanted her to be, if she could get kisses like this all the time. She was surprised as his pleasantly warm tongue flowed into her mouth, gently gliding, exploring with curiosity. 

He used his own tongue to draw hers into his mouth, and when he had it where he wanted it he began to suck gently, causing a moan of ecstasy to be spilled from her mouth and vibrate through them. He pushed her body backwards, onto his desk, her exhale of pleasure sending him over the edge. Making him loose any resolve he'd been building up until that moment. 

If he were going to break away before, there was no way he could now. His hands struck out and items flew to the floor. Pencils rolled everywhere, bumping into the folders and offending the sticky notes. He paid no heed to any of it, only the heat rising in his body; passion he hadn't felt for months on end. He'd been dead for so long he forgot what his own heartbeat felt like. Now it pounded so fast, so loudly, he could scarcely think of anything else.

Her body arched against his again as she willingly fell to the desk. Trunks pulled her deeper into the kiss, fevered and frenzied because he couldn't get enough. He held onto the kiss, encouraging it until his jaws ached and he had to break apart. But, as his lips pulled away from her body, a stinging feeling flowed through him, as if he weren't complete without the contact. He felt void without her next to him, and just her being next to him wasn't enough. He feared it never would be again. He wanted her around him, he wanted _her _and now it was too late to fight it. 

Another moan fell from her lips at the loss of the contact, but this one was out of protest, not pleasure. A frown pressed her lips but didn't last long, as his lips found the exposed skin of her neck. He kissed gently at first, making her close her eyes and dig her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, a needy desire overtaking her.

But soon his desire out-beat her own, and every time he lifted his head from her skin she could hear a soft exhale fall from his lips. He wasn't sure what it was, but he needed to taste more of her. Something pulled him to her and he ran his tongue over the base of her collar. Dende, she tasted like…apple cinnamon. Or was it French vanilla? He wasn't sure which, he hadn't even been aware that the two tastes could be mingled and misconstrued. No, one was a taste, the other was a smell; his senses were so fuzzy he couldn't tell the difference between the two.

His hands dropped slowly, teasingly down her sides and tickled the area beneath her naval. Then they ran up her sides again, just as slow, and he could feel her breathing escalade. Her leg crushed and curved around his to draw him closer and their bodies pressed tight - her hips ground into his, making him close his eyes in frustration. His hands traveled up a little more, moving to her breasts, rubbing softly, tickling, teasing, before his fingers found the first button of her shirt. He undid it slowly, and then the next, kissing each exposed piece of flesh. Sending his tongue out to devour what he'd decided upon as a French vanilla flavor of her. 

She was completely lost in a different world, all thoughts of any wrong doing erased from her head. Nothing that felt this good could be wrong, after all. She heard her voice cry softly again, this time being accompanied by his exhale as the next button came undone. Her hands inched up to his hair, fingers massaging his scalp with matching intensity to the way his mouth loved her flesh. Pleasure lingered in him as he undid the next button and her shoulder shimmied out of the shirt. Each part of her upper body received the attention from his tongue, as he regarded her the way he would his favorite ice-cream cone. His fingers moved around her back and as he came in contact with the clasp to her bra he paused, anticipation and pleasure the only emotions running through him. 

The phone rang, making both of them jump, and her body went completely rigid beneath his touch. The earth snapped back into place and everything hit them hard. This _was _wrong. They were best friends - not lovers. She was _Pan_, his _friend _Pan, and he was her 'older brother', Trunks. She vaguely became aware of the fact that she wasn't Marron, and he was probably hoping she would be when he opened his eyes. And now those blue eyes were lingering on her and she'd failed the test. She could see the disappointment lingering in them. The phone rang again. His hands descended from her body and he dared to look intently into _her _eyes. They were more dead than he had felt before she kissed him. 

Her lips were shivering and he knew she was fighting back the tears. He felt worse than he had in his entire life. Complete scum, and mainly because, despite everything that he'd just discovered about how much this hurt her, he still wanted to press her back against his desk and devour her. He could still taste her on his lips and he still wanted to. The phone again. She jumped up and answered it. 

"Hello?" He couldn't read her voice, it was cold and hurt at once from what he could tell. "Daddy!" He heard her say next, guilt and panic clear in her tone. Her hands moved awkwardly as she struggled to hold the phone and pull her shirt back on at the same time, as if he could somehow see her through the phone cord. Trunks closed his eyes, imagining all of the painful torture he would suffer should Gohan actually be a mind reader and discover all the incredibly compromising thoughts he were having about the girl at the moment. Or worse, if Gohan were to discover what just happened, how badly Trunks had just hurt her. He was already never going to forgive himself, he didn't need someone else to hover it over his head. 

Pan had gotten her shirt on and was talking nervously to her father. "Nothing's wrong." She glanced sideways at Trunks, who had just regained his normal breathing, and then glanced to the ground - very guiltily. A series of 'uh-huh's' and 'yes daddy's' followed, as she nodded her head and tried to clear her flushed cheeks. Finally, "I understand, daddy. I'm on my way…huh?…yes, that easy…Okay, see you in a bit…yeah, love you too." She hung up the phone and turned around slowly, her eyes nervously dancing up to meet Trunks'. 

"Listen, Pan-"

"Don't." She shook her head, not wanting to hear what he was going to say. Things were bad enough without him trying to explain. "It's my fault, right? You warned me that you weren't responsible for your actions in this state and I didn't listen. You get what you get, right?" Then she forced a smile onto her broken face and it made his heart ache. It snapped him back into the real world for the final time, made him realize that whatever he was going through wasn't half as bad as whatever she was about to go through. Even if his best friend was about to marry his only love. It made him want to cry, and want to kiss her all over again; it made him want to pull her into his arms and comfort her until she didn't need it anymore. Made him want to love her more than he'd ever wanted to love anybody in all his life. "Besides, I'm not exactly complaining about what I got." She winked, a coy smile overtaking the broken one as she turned around. He knew it was a front - a very attractive front, mind you - but a façade all the same. She was really falling apart, but she did a magnificent job of hiding it. Always had. He loved that about her more than anything else. 

But at that moment he hated himself. He'd ruined things with her. They'd never be the same again. And he'd ruined her. He'd never see his Pan-pan again, he'd never see the happy girl she used to be, but the broken one that was a replica of the real thing. And he hated that the most. If he could change anything, he'd change that first. 

"Daddy says he doesn't want us staying together, all alone. Doesn't trust our emotions enough to be comfortable with it." A dry laugh fell from her lips, and though her back was to him now, he knew she was fighting tears. "Humph, he was maybe…twenty minutes too late or twenty minutes too early. You pick. Anyway, I'm going home before things get worse." 

He thought on it and, very abruptly, decided he couldn't choose. That thought scared him more than life. He didn't know which one he'd have preferred. Before they had done anything or after they had done everything? Twenty minutes earlier or twenty minutes later? And then he watched her walk out of his office, almost certain that he'd truly screwed things this time. He wasn't going to see her again, he was sure of it. She was out of his life for good and he was standing there debating a dumb question - too late or too early? Was it even relevant now?  
  
A/n: are you laughing yet? Oh, not very funny at the end, is it? What, you thought I was going to have them get to together right then? As if that would have been appropriate. I do have some tack. Sorry if this chapter still leaves you in that 'I'm-really-sad-and-depressed-that-these-chapters-aren't-getting-any-lighter-in-mood' mood, maybe next chapter will be nicer. I didn't like the way I wrote this either, I thought it would be nicer, but as you guys have told me time after time, I'm my own worst critic. I don't know though, it was too rushed for me. 

  
Anyway, from here on out it's totally T/P focused! ^-^ (well, with some side issues every now and then, but they all tie in. Hey, can't forget about Gabe, can we?). And sorry if the box Pan got is still itching in the back of your mind, you'll find out what's in it next chapter. I think I'll get to that, I should. Well, let me know what you think - and don't be too harsh (they were bound to do _something _with each other, see they were both grieving and…yeah. We all knew it wasn't going to turn out well…) - leave a review for me to smile at please ;-) I'll love you forever, I will ^.~


	11. Rebuilding Bridges

  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, gesh! Stop rubbing it in already. (italics in beginning from Angel by Amanda Perez)  
A/N: Sorry for the wait, excuses at the bottom. I'm not promising you'll love this chapter, but I tried. I won't say it sucks cause I do that all that time. Thanks for you reviews and your continual support - you help me to get off my lazy arse and write. I love you!

Rebuilding Bridges

  
_God send me an angel from the heavens above. Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love. Cause all I do is cry. God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes…_

She climbed into bed late that night, too tired to think, too hurt to cry. She was too numb to acknowledge that her life had just changed drastically, never to be the same again. She was too tired to respond to the slight prompting from her brain that suggested she should be crumbling apart. The only thing she could even concentrate on was changing her clothes and pulling herself into bed. 

But sleep never found it's way to her. The electricity of the kiss was still buzzing around her head, swirling through her body in dangerous hurricanes of passion. Intense emotion that couldn't be swayed or ignored, no matter how tired she was. She was hurt beyond belief and yet, her heart was trembling as if Trunks had confessed his undying affections for her or something. It wasn't like he was even aware of who he was doing what he was doing with. He thought she was Marron…Well, she assumed he thought she was Marron. Not like it mattered, nothing like that would ever happen again as long as he was in his proper state of mind.

Though she couldn't deny she wanted it to. That kiss was everything she dreamed kissing Trunks would be. It was romantic, and passionate, and intensely gratifying in a forbidden sort of way. And just thinking of him sent tremors through her worse than any she had ever felt. Briefly she wondered if she'd ever be able to look at him calmly again. And then, abruptly, the pleasant thoughts were gone. Suddenly, she wanted to go back in time and take it back. Suddenly she wanted to crawl in a hole and die. This was going to complicate her entire life fifty times more than it was already.

This was going to ruin her relationship with Trunks. It was going to make things awkward and confusing. It was going to make her jittery and befuddled around him again - the way she was when she was fifteen. It was going to make him embarrassed and guilty every time he looked at her. There was nothing she could do to change it and there was nothing she could do to make it better. 

And what about this tinkering in her heart and the sinking feeling her stomach as she thought about him? She wanted, really badly, to do naughty things to him at this very moment and they had only kissed once. What was to happen should she see him and they resume their normal relationship? She really did wish the earth would open up and swallow her - it would make things easier, at least.

But it didn't seem like the ground was going to be breaking apart any time soon. So, she'd have to make due with what she had left. Somehow she'd have to make it work. But she wasn't sure she was ready. No, she wasn't ready. She decided as she thought back to the way his skin had felt against hers. She couldn't face him yet, she'd wait. With that thought she reached over to her end table, her intent to turn the lamp off, but her hand brushed against something metal and her entire purpose changed. 

She turned her head to see what she was bumping into and frowned with confusion. It was a metal box but it didn't look like something she'd ever owned before. And yet she was sure she'd seen it. Where did she get it from?…And then the memories came flooding back to her as if it had happened years ago instead of hours - fuzzy and out of tune. 

She'd been to see Mrs. Henson today and the woman had given this to her - well it was more like yesterday, considering it was already after two in the morning. But it didn't seem as if it had happened in this lifetime even, much less this week. So recently. She reached her other hand over and spun her fingers around the container, lifting it and pulling it to her. Her breath was caught in her throat for a moment as she remembered the significance of the box in her hands - as well as the smaller box on her dresser - and she just sat there for a few moments, nervous silence echoing through her room. Then, she let her fingers dance around the patterns on it, noting the leaves and branches that were carved into it with admiration. 

Finally, she curved her fingers to find the clasp, and closed her eyes as it opened. Her hands were shaking, she noted, as she opened her eyes again. Her heart was pounding through her body and she hadn't let her optics travel downward yet, too afraid of what she'd find. Okay, she coached herself, it's no big deal. And yet, when her eyes fell to her lap she gasped at what she found. Not that the discovery was amazing in any sort of way - it wasn't. Simply that she was shocked because it was the last thing she had expected. 

There were folded papers filling the inside of the box - the box that was coated with red velvet on the inside - and she knew immediately what that meant. These were poems. She'd never read any of Gabriel's poems before, he hadn't wanted her to see them while he was around. But he had said that he would let her read them one day…and one day had never came. Unconsciously, her eyes filled with tears, once she realized she fought them back with all she had and picked up the first folded sheet of paper:

**__**

Lorraine

I hear her move in the dead of night, and I know that she can't sleep.

I see the bags beneath her eyes, of pain which we don't speak. 

I know she tries hard not to care, to make her heart cold and inert - 

And when she thinks that I'm not there, she releases all her hurt. 

__

Lorraine, there's no need to hide, I see the pain. 

You don't have to guard your eyes, there is no shame. 

I hate that they have done this, I wish to make it right. 

Lorraine, don't run away - just let me hold you tonight. 

Brown tresses of sand that fade and then fall away, 

Littered on the bathroom floor in a scattered, patterned array.

Cinnamon pools of shimmering sun, highlighted in snow,

Drop pails of lamented rain, after every blink, fulfils the ocean flow.

You don't have to hide, Larraine, from the ones who already know.

Lorraine, there is no need to hide, I see the pain.

You don't have to guard your eyes, there is no shame. 

I hate that they have done this, I wish to make it right.   
Dear mum, don't run away - just let me hold you tonight.

She was speechless for a few moments, not sure what to make of it. And then she smiled sadly and shook her head. That was beautiful. He had loved his mother so much - and she would never have that. She would never have someone who depended on her so heavily - who cared for her so completely. And she wanted it so much. Gabe would have given it to her and now he was gone. And with him, her hopes of ever being beautiful in someone's eyes. 

Perhaps it was selfish to think of it that way. Perhaps she shouldn't have wanted Gabe to love her because she couldn't love him and she knew what it was like to not be loved. Perhaps she should have kissed him on his cheek and bid him farewell, because it was so unfair to put someone through all those feelings knowing they could never be returned. She certainly didn't think loving Trunks was a walk in the park. And Gabriel wouldn't have thought it was fun either, once he was in her position. Maybe the best thing that ever happened to him was getting away from her…

She ran her hand across her face in an exhausted, confused manner and sighed heavily. Before she could stop herself, another piece of paper was in her hands and her eyes were studying the words, scrutinizing his language and examining his heart. 

It was when she ran across _Vanilla scented with Cinnamon _that her eyes shut quickly and she drew in a painful breath - fighting tears that were winning the battle and trickling down her face. She was right, she was sorry, she was…a horrible person. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve Gabe, or Trunks. Or anyone for that matter. She deserved to be punished…She deserved to be in pain for life. She was wrong.

Her eyes opened and, through blurry vision, she ran over the poem again:

**__**

Vanilla scented with Cinnamon

Onyx upon onyx with milk shades in between, 

Tell me what it is that's keeping you from me. 

Forever_ ends too quickly and _Sometime_ hasn't come,_

And the time in which you are with me is stolen by someone.

Defiled and penetrated by his amethyst pelt,

Leaving no person to the wonder of exactly how you felt.

Onyx upon onyx with milk shades in between, 

Tell me what it is that's keeping you from me. 

Promised to find glory - heaven in your gaze,

Promised to find euphoria in a thousand different ways.

You smile upon my naïve_ assertions about love,_

And tell me there is no dream come true, from heaven sent above.

But Onyx upon Onyx with milk shades in between,

I tell you that you're wrong and you were meant to be with me.

Your mouth says I don't love you _but never opens up,_

Your actions say I don't trust you _and quiver at my touch._

So I don't trust myself, and I don't make a move, 

And yet I think of you, in everything I do. 

But Onyx upon Onyx with milk shades in between,

Tell me why it is, that I can never leave. 

I try to stay away from you and toss at night instead of sleep.

I try to steal your heart from you, but you insist to keep.

My Vanilla scented with Cinnamon, I don't know what to do.

Onyx upon Onyx what's keeping me with you?

Onyx upon onyx with milk shades in between,   
Sometime _has yet to come and _Forever _will never be._

__

Won't you tell me what it is that's keeping you from me? 

She ran over it again and again, until it became too painful to read and her eyes became too blurry to figure out the words. It was memorized in her head before she let the box slide to the floor, the poems scattering about - and she laid down, closing her eyes and never even bothering to turn off the light. 

*

The sun's persistent shine forced her to climb out of bed as she grumbled, getting up and tripping over the box that had fallen into the floor. The box that forced her to remember what had her in such disarray the night before. She groaned, rolled her eyes into her head, and heaved a breath of annoyance before calming down. 

"Welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life, Pan Son." She spoke her thoughts out loud, a bitter tone inflicted into her voice. Immediately she wanted to talk to Trunks, and immediately she didn't. She wanted to see him - it made her stomach jump and her heart flutter thinking of it - and she wanted to die at the same time. She simply wasn't ready for all the things that came along with the mistake they'd made last night.

How was she supposed to look him in the eye even? Now that, in the morning and not the late night, what had happened seemed so much larger than it had before. When she was standing, humiliated, in his office and trying to keep the rest of her pride in tact it had been some kind of joke to her because she couldn't believe the reality of it all. But now she did. She couldn't do anything to stop it. 

"I'm going to talk to Trunks." She softly whispered, coaching herself as she made her way to the bathroom to prepare for her day. 

She spent the rest of the day thinking about how she was going to talk to Trunks. Spent the whole day thinking about calling him and pretending to forget the number. She walked around silently all day, telling herself that she was going to go and see him and assure him that everything was all right. And the next day was spent in much the same way. And the one after that…Until she found herself comfortable with the fact that she hadn't called him or talked to him. Telling herself that it was better _that _way. And at least a month had passed and Goten was definitely engaged to Marron. The wedding plans had begun…

*

Pan blinked a total of ten times before she opened her mouth to even attempt to respond. She wasn't sure what exactly she was supposed to say to that. And she wanted, more than anything, to laugh in Marron's face. 

"Are you _serious_?" She asked, placing one of her hands on the other as if to maintain her balance - even though she was already sitting down. Marron looked up into Pan's eyes with a nervous air about herself, almost as if she were holding her breath instead of concentrating on what was happening before her. 

"If you'll consider it, Pan, I'm very serious." She answered in a professional tone and Pan couldn't help but imagine the girl reaching up and adjusting glasses which she did not own.

"No you aren't." Pan countered. "This is a joke." She supplied so that Marron could pick up from her tone that if it wasn't a joke, it _should _be. "This is a joke and you're only kidding me." A small laugh fell from her throat and she hit the side of her leg lightly, overacting for all she was worth. "All right, Marron, you can go back to the wedding plans now. Put away the hidden camera and we'll pretend like this never happened." 

"Pan, this _is _a part of the wedding plans. And I _am _serious." Marron held a somber expression as she said this, sighing and letting her blue eyes fall to the floor. "I take that as a 'no' then?" 

"Damn right it's a no, Marron. What'd you think, you could come here and offer something like that and I'd jump for the chance? Are you sane?" At the girl's nod to confirm her sanity, Pan couldn't stop the words, "Are you sure?" from flowing from her lips. She shook her head and stood up, acting like Marron had just insulted her in some way, and made her way past the girl. "I can't believe this." She mumbled, reaching the door and ready to leave.

"Pan, please, just let's talk about it." Marron pleaded, a desperate look filling her features as she stood as well. 

"Oh, you want to talk, Marron? Then fine, let's talk." Pan said coldly, turning around to face her. "Let's talk about how crazy you must be. I can't believe virgin Mary actually wants to converse with jezebel." She threw her hands into the air mimicking actions one would embark upon should a miracle occur, waving her hands crazily. 

"Okay, obviously you're still hurt. And I don't blame you, I would be too. But that's why I'm here. I'm trying to make things right. Can you give me that chance?" Pan's hands fell limp by her sides but she kept the derisive look on her face. 

"How do you think we can make things right, Marron?" Pan finally asked, after a minute of complete silence from both parties. 

"I don't know. That's what I came to ask you. What would it take for me to begin making things better?"

"I don't know if there's anything you _can _do to make things better. What was said was said, it's done and over with. There's no point in going back."

"He never picked me over you, Pan." Marron said softly, getting to the root of the matter.

"I don't know what you're talking about Marron. But this has nothing to do with our friendship." Pan countered, crossing her arms and raising her head into the air, slightly.

"It has everything to do with it. And I'm sick of dancing around things as if they don't exist, Pan. Why can't we all just talk like civilized adults? Goten would-" 

"Because according to _you_, I'm not old enough to be involved in adult conversations." Pan cut her off, still remembering the comment that had cut her more than others. 

"Okay, we both said some things we didn't mean that day, I'll admit. I was wrong about that Pan and I'm trying to apologize." Marron continued with her pleading, dropping her shoulders slightly and giving a defeated stance. 

"_I _meant every word." Pan stated coldly, her eyes scaling Marron as if she were soiled milk.

"All right…" Marron tried again, as if she were searching for something to say as replacement. "Well, _I _said a lot of things I didn't mean, then. Either way, I was wrong and I'm trying to apologize." 

"Well, do it and get it over with."

"I'm sorry." They sounded like four year olds arguing over a Barbie. The tone both of them had taken with the other was more that of children than anything else. Marron realized this before Pan and dropped her shoulders again, as if ashamed. Pan soon followed suite, loosing her uppity air slightly. 

"Okay, you're sorry. That's fine. Thank you for the apology but I still can't do it. How could you even think I would?" Pan challenged, her tone nicer than before. 

"Well, I don't know. Trunks found room in his heart to forgive Goten. I thought, maybe, you'd be able to look me in the eye again without hating me…" Marron answered with hurt in her voice, true pain resounding through her features. Finally Pan seemed to cave, her hateful expression was completely wiped away and she sighed heavily. 

"Trunks forgave Goten?" Pan sounded bewildered as she asked.

"You haven't talked to him?" Marron sounded just as bewildered as she responded. 

"Goten or Trunks?" Pan shot off right after Marron's question. 

"Either. But I was talking about Trunks."

"Well, no. Not since Goten announced he was marrying you…" 

"Pan, I-" But Pan interrupted before Marron could break into another apology.

"Trunks forgave Goten?" She repeated, but this time her voice held an exasperated tone.

"Yeah, he said something about life being too short. Or him being too empty…and already having screwed up his own life." Marron shrugged it off. "Either way, he thought he'd make things right with Goten before he lost it all. And he agreed to be the best man."

"Just because he agreed doesn't mean you should come marching here to ask me. I mean, Goten and Trunks have been best friends since Goten's birth. You were just my babysitter when Trunks was busy." Pan's comment was spoken lightly but full of venom, and she was still eyeing Marron as if she were trash off the street. There was nothing but polite air between them, and Marron was obviously trying very hard to keep the pretend smile on her face. Trying very hard not to look hurt by Pan's words. She had considered them friends. Not best friends, but friends none the less. 

"And of course he didn't choose you over me, he never got the chance." She added, just for good number, going back to the previous conversation. 

"I thought you didn't know what I was talking about." Marron responded quietly, ignoring the rest of what Pan had said. 

"I thought on it, figured it out." Pan supplied coolly, both of them knowing she was lying. There was a pause of silence as Pan glared at Marron and Marron shifted uncomfortably in front of Pan before anyone spoke. It was Marron who disrupted the quiet.

"I just don't want you to hate me forever, Pan." She pleaded humbly, looking -it seemed- at the soles of her feet as she spoke. 

"Listen, Marron. Let's get down to it, the real issue. You hurt me. Plain and simple. You hurt me when you talked to me the way you did and you hurt me when you treated me the way you did. And I'm just not sure if I could ever get past that. I can try and-" Here she paused, as if the next part were guaranteed to be painful. 

When she resumed her speech her lips were upturned into a displeased sort of frown. "I can try and I'm willing to start today. I can try and forgive you Marron, and I can try not to hate you. But I can't ever be your friend, and I sure as hell can't be your maid of honor. I'd be lying in a church." She laughed lightly, as if the idea were ridiculous - and it was. "Besides, Bra would kill me and then take my bouquet."

"Okay." Marron said, a small smile on her face. "I understand. And I don't know if I can thank you enough for this - the second chance that is - you won't regret this, Pan. I promise you, you won't." 

"I have to try, Marron, don't take it personal. It's only the fact that you're about to be my aunt that's even getting me to consider." Even though the words were mean, they were said in a playful manner and Marron couldn't help but reach over and kiss Pan's cheek. 

"Thank-you." She repeated, joy and elation decorating her baby-doll face. 

*

"So this is it." Pan quietly coached herself. She was going to talk to Trunks tonight. She was going to see him tonight - not per her choice, but necessity; A 'wedding planning' dinner was set up for Marron and Goten tonight and everyone had to be there - and she was going to talk to him. 

She pulled her hair up into a bun and stepped into her sandals. Her hands shook nervously as she reached over and picked up her lotion, lightly fragranced, and spread it over her bare arms, then up her neck. Next came a bit of chap-stick slicked across her lips and she was ready. She didn't know why she was preparing for this as though it were a date, and probably didn't even realize that's what she was doing. But in her own way, she was.

The thought never lingered on her mind, however, only how nervous she was at that very moment. She was going to see Trunks. She was going to talk to him. Come face to face for the first time since…

A million things were running through her brain. How was he going to react? Would he smile at her or would he look down nervously and leave as soon as possible? Would he blow her off now or would he be just as frightened as she was? Why was this so damn complicated? She wanted to yell in frustration, but chose instead to clench her fists until her nails pressed into the palm of her hand. She felt the flesh penetrate before she loosened her grip and calmed herself enough to know her power wasn't about to skyrocket through the roof. That would be sure-fire way to get Trunks to smile in her direction, she thought sarcastically. Scare the shit out of him. 

Why couldn't he have kissed her and meant it? She wondered bitterly as her feet traveled down the stairs to where the others would soon be gathered. Wouldn't that have made her problems and lot easier to deal with? Of course they wouldn't. She decided abruptly. It would have only made things worse. Because then they'd have a million other issues to deal with-

She was fourteen years younger than him. And while she didn't have a problem with it, she was sure he did, and her father would. Then Gohan was a completely different matter all together. He'd kill Trunks. And then there was Goten to worry about, who was more overprotective of her than her father and Trunks combined. And then there was the fact that she would always wonder whether he was truly in love with her or just getting over Marron. Which led to another can of worms. 

Not to mention herself. Earlier this month she'd thought that she wanted love more than anything. But that was just wanting what you couldn't have. She knew better now, she was more aware of her feelings. She was far too afraid of love in her current status to be with _anyone_. Even the person she'd loved through the entirety of her teenage years. What had happened with Gabe was enough to ward her off any romantic ploys she was planning on jumping on. Her grandfather had already hurt her enough for an army of men. And then Trunks had, innumerable amounts of times without realizing it. And then, just when she thought she was in the clear, Gabe had come along and screwed things up. 

Sure, she hadn't been in love with him, but she had thought she _could _be and that said enough. Besides, he was in love with her and look what it got him. No, she was completely through with love and all it's repercussions. If she ever did get married it'd be to some simpleton who could never hurt her. Someone who was good for nothing but some companionship and fertilizing her egg. She only wanted children - and only one. Just so that she could fill the emptiness that had lingered in her heart since it had been broken so many times. 

She could live without the other stuff, and she fully intended to. So, in a way, she was very pleased that Trunks had not meant it when he kissed her. That would have been something she couldn't deal with, something she wasn't ready to deal with. And to be honest, at this point in her life, if he was in love with her she wasn't sure she would want him. She wasn't sure it'd be a good thing at all. She never wanted anyone to love her again. Maybe she would grow out of it, but in her current state just the thought of someone else needing her unconditionally, wanting her no matter what, made her palms sweaty and her heart beat way too fast. Simply, it terrified her. 

She didn't need someone else throwing themselves at her feet. She didn't need someone else adoring her and devoting themselves to her - or getting their heart broken by her. Because Gabe had gotten his heart broken, she learned that the night she opened his box and read his poetry. She'd defiantly scared him and she didn't want to have that kind of power over anyone - ever. 

She was resolved on the 'Trunks issue' before she even made it into the dinning room where everyone was seated. Before her dark-brown eyes locked onto his crystal depths and a blush rose to his cheeks. She was smiling when she saw him and she was smiling when she sat down, and all through dinner she smiled. 

*

When she walked into the room he could feel his heart leap about ten stories. He'd been dreading this moment since the second she walked out of his life. And now, here she was - standing in front of him, eyes locked on his, and…smiling? What the hell was she so happy about? Trunks wondered, thinking about how scarce his sleep had been since that night. And the dreams that he had had were filled with thoughts about her soft skin on his. Haunting him until he propped up in bed and resolved that he could go another night without rest. 

Before he knew it, his cheeks were heating up and a blush was forming under his eyes. Shamed, he looked away from her, down to the empty plate before him with interest. But he was still watching her through the corner of his eyes as she took her seat and continued to smile. What was that about? Did she think things had changed between them in some way? Panic shot through him as he considered this. It was completely possible that she assumed they had some kind of secret relationship now. 

His eyes widened as he looked up at her, quickly as if her foot had pressed hard against his under the table. It didn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table surrounding them, either, and Goten found his voice - slightly edgy and suspicious. 

"Is something wrong, Trunks?" He questioned. Trunks drew in a breath, as if he'd forgotten anyone else was there, and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 

"What?" He asked absently, before Goten's words collected and made sense in his head and he shook it. "No, nothing's wrong." He glanced again to Pan, who was sitting directly across from him, and then back down to his plate like a guilty man. 

"Pan?" Goten questioned, not trusting Trunks' response. 

"Nothing." She shrugged and Trunks was able to glimpse the devious smile that played on her lips. It was almost sexy…No, Trunks. He fought a mental battle with himself, not allowing his mind to think of Pan in that light again. She wasn't sexy…well, she was but that was besides the point. She was _cute_. His brain amended.

That's the way boys looked to their younger sister's friends. As 'cute', not 'sexy'. But she and Bra weren't really that great of friends…And your point is, Trunks? His smarter half argued. Just because she wasn't technically his little sister's good friend didn't mean it was okay to think of her as something other than cute. 

He sighed heavily and placed his hands over his face, shaking his senses back into his head. This wasn't good. If he couldn't even sit at a table with her without debating whether she was sexy or cute wasn't a good sign. He had to be a man about this. He was going to be a man, not a pansy. She could smile when she looked at him - and she most certainly didn't believe they had some kind of secret love affair, he acknowledged, though there was a part of him that wished she did think that…- and that meant he could smile and look at her. Slowly, he pulled his hands away from his face and let his eyes travel towards hers again. 

They caught each other and he smiled, forming some kind of silent agreement with her that things were okay. But as his eyes dropped, sliding along her features past her nose, across her cheeks, and down to her lips, his heart skipped again. He couldn't help but think about how soft they were, very nice things to kiss. He shook his head again, slightly in order to avoid attracting anymore attention, and closed his eyes momentarily. 

He couldn't sit at this table and imagine kissing Pan all through dinner. It wouldn't go over well in the end. And it wasn't good for his mental health. And it defiantly wasn't going to calm that look that Gohan was shooting him from the end of the table.

"Are you guys sure…" Marron questioned, also noting the strange 'conversation' that was going on between Trunks and Pan without either of them saying a word. 

"Everything's fine." Trunks nodded, looking at Marron with a kind smile for the first time since she'd walked away from him. It was wide enough that she got a good view of all his front teeth, and he was sure she'd accept that answer. Most women couldn't resist that smile and Marron was no different. She smiled and looked back to Goten, whom she was giving eyes to from across the table. 

__

I've still got it, Trunks thought as he smirked proudly to himself. Not even his mother had ever resisted that smile and he was glad to know he could still do it. He heard someone scoff and looked up, catching the nasty glare Pan was giving him. He only smirked wider and she rolled her eyes at him. 

"I don't know why she fell for it, it's not even that cute." Pan told him challengingly, rolling her eyes in a disapproving manner. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Pan Son." Trunks answered calmly, shrugging and smiling sweetly. 

"Oh, whatever." She mumbled, turning her head as Chi-Chi began to bring in the food.

"Jealous?" He asked, almost knowingly, as he lifted his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. She turned back to him with an annoyed face and upturned her lips in a kind of sneer that said 'as if'.

"Hardly." She quipped, shaking her head and looking him up and down with her eyes. "You're hardly worth the trouble." She smiled as she said it and he knew she was playing. It was the first normal conversation they'd had since Gabriel entered her life…or since Marron entered his, he guessed. For once, things felt like they fit, and he was surprised by how whole she made him feel… 

*

**_For the Brightest Star_**

Words can't describe the way your smile makes me feel inside; The way I well up with pride when you're by my side. I find myself relinquishing my soul to you and doing everything you want me to. If you would allow it, I'd be your mechanic. Take it upon myself to fix the defaults of your heart. Making sure that 'you' and 'I' are one and never part. 

If you would let me, I'd fix everything that's wrong. If you would keep me, you'd never have to be alone. I've set out to prove to you the belief I have is true, I'm picking one and I'm giving her my heart. I'll make _it work with her, my love, my brightest star. I'm picking one, I'm picking you._

--Gabriel Henson  
  
A/N: well, I hope you didn't hate it. You're probably like, 'this is it?' and my answer is 'yes'. You waited all that time for this. A filler chapter. Hey, why do you think it took so long? It was just a boring to write. -sigh- Love me anyway. Next chapter might not be much better, but the chapter after that is definitely worth tuning in for. It'll shock you, I promise. It shocks me every time I read it. (you're like _what, you already have it written and you haven't updated in over two weeks!?_ well, no. I have the chapter after next half written. And I wrote that chapter before I wrote any other part of this story, thank you very much. Every thing else is centered around that chapter…well, sort of…) Anyway, I'm gone now. And I promise, next chapter **will not **take this long to update.   
  
Excuses: Finals were last week. Wednesday was the last day of school. Then I had the celebration dinner. Hanging out with friends. Renaissance on Monday. Yadda, yadda...A little writer's block. A little more writer's block. And school stress. But school's out now, yay! Chapter updates should _at least_ be once a week from now on. I'm so sorry for the wait. Forgive me. Review please! -hugs- 


	12. That’s not a bad idea

  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own it. It's not mine. That ends this interrogation.   
A/N: I'm not in the mood for a/n's so I'll leave you with these three thoughts: 1) I _did_ write Gabriel's poetry - who else would you silly billies? 2) This _is_ a filler chapter, read it, store the info, move on. And 3) I'm in a strange mood that's like - kinda really mad and at the same time _really really_ happy. So when you read my author response and take offense, don't. just know that I was feeling silly. That's all.

That's not a bad idea

"It never happened." The girl stated determinedly. She crossed her arms to emphasize the point and spread her feet apart to show that she was firm. He ran his fingers through purple strands and sighed dejectedly at her statement.

"It did happen, Pan." It was after dinner and Pan had requested to speak with Trunks alone. They were standing in the backyard, close to the woods because she wasn't sure which members of her family were going to pry and all of them were acting pretty suspicious. Mainly Chi-Chi, who passed Trunks the food last and glared at him every chance she got, as if she knew something the others didn't. 

"No, you don't understand, Trunks, it _never _happened." She reaffirmed the statement with a nod of her head and he rolled his eyes. They were discussing _that_ night and she was adamant about getting him to say it had never happened. And he was just as adamant about talking about it, working through it all. 

"Pan, we need to discuss this because it did happen and that's the only way we're going to get past it." Here she interrupted because she was impatient and she didn't want to hear the rest. 

"Trunks-" But he cut her off before she could get another word in. 

"Listen, I've been miserable without you this past month. And I just want to talk about this thing so that I don't loose you forever," 

"Trunks, we've talked about that already. You're not going to loose me. Besides, there's no reason for me to go anywhere, nothing's happened between us. Nothing changed-"

"Pan, I'm not-" She had cut him off again. If they continued on like this they'd create a new language.

"Okay, let's talk about it," She met him half way, though the tone of her voice suggested this wasn't going to be the kind of talk he had in mind. "You were miserable, I was miserable, and we were both kind of out of it. You didn't know what you were doing and I don't think I did either. You were thinking of Marron," He opened his mouth to object but she continued on and her next words shut him up. "And I was thinking of Gabe." His face fell, but he quickly regained his expression and nodded his head. 

"What I mean is," Pan continued on, noticing his momentary lapse of expression. "I was upset and so were you and things happen. But _that_ most certainly did not happen. Because it's easier this way. And because it was a mistake. So, listen, you don't want me to remember _that _forever and be semi-hurt by it. And _I _don't want to. It-never-happened." She repeated the last part firmly, and slowly so that there was no disputing it and for a few minutes there was silence. Silence to absorb what had just been said and the new changes that were occurring in their relationship. Silence for each of them to get things straight in their head. And then they smiled at each other.

But Trunks' was an uneasy smile because he knew what Pan did not. Despite how much she wanted to live in a fantasy world where their relationship had not evolved - escaladed, or whatever it wanted to be called - he lived in the real world. And in the real world he knew things would never be the same. Even if she could somehow act normal around him, he could never forget. It could never be a distant memory for him. And…was there something wrong with that? The thought made him anxious, and nervous all at once. He didn't know what was going on inside of him.

If she could pretend it didn't happen, and she had all but told him she was in love with him, and he couldn't even forget it for one moment, what did that say about him? He didn't want to think of the possibilities and it was then that he decided she was right. It never should have happened, therefore, it never did. It was too complicated to go into and he certainly didn't want to analyze these new questions. He'd rather pretend, like Pan was doing…and was there something wrong with _that_?

Before either of them knew it, they were back in the house joining the conversation with the others. They were acting normally and it _was _as if it had never happened. Before either of them knew it another month had passed and they were 'friends' again, and closer than ever before. Because they had been through the rain and thunder together and made it to the sun on the other side. Though, Pan wasn't quite sure the storm was over, and every now and then one could see Trunks glance at Marron with longing eyes. They were normal, they were fine, because they pretended to be. But, as most lies do, it was bound to bubble to the top. Bound to be exposed or to interfere, because no amount of pretending could erase the past - or the consequences that came along with it. And, for Trunks, the consequences were more than he bargained for…

* 

"Put those boxes over there." Marron commanded, pointing a finger at the large table that sat in the center of the room. The men carrying the boxes nodded and headed in the direction her finger was pointed, following her instructions. "Thank-you. Could you lift those," She pointed at two large boxes situated on the floor. "And carry them there?" Once again her finger was traveling to where she wanted them to go as she continued to direct the moving of things. 

"All right, boys," She said after a few more orders and several minutes. "I think that covers everything. Thank-you for your help." She smiled pleasantly at them and they continued to stand there, looking at her and grinning back. She continued to smile for a few more seconds before she cleared her throat uncomfortably and looked away. "Uh…you can leave…" She told them finally. They cleared their throats as well and, right when one of the men was about to speak, Bra intervened. 

"I think they're waiting for a tip." She said with a hint of amusement in her voice. Marron was so scatterbrained these days she hadn't been able to figure it out on her own.

"Oh, of course." Marron shook her head absently and reached for her purse. It wasn't in sight… "Hey, Bra, where'd I put my-"

"Your purse?" Bra asked smartly, holding it up. "You'd better pull yourself together before tomorrow, you've got to be with it for the wedding. It is _your _big day." 

"I know, I know." Marron nodded, reaching out and taking her purse from Bra. She opened it and reached inside before she remembered that she didn't have any money with her. "Ugh, I'm so out of it." She sighed and looked back up to the men, an apologetic smile on her face.

"I'm so sorry, guys. Could you just see my hus-see my _fiancé _on your way out? Tell him I owe you tip money…tell him I owe you a _good _tip. He'll take care of you." They nodded happily at her addition of 'good' tip and hurried down the stars. Marron could hear Bra's teasing laughter in the background. 

"When are the others getting here?" Marron asked, looking around and ignoring the teasing she knew was coming on. "I can't set all this stuff up alone. And Goten and Trunks certainly aren't going to help." Marron smiled absently as she thought of Goten, staring off into space.

"You need to worry less about the others and more about you. You're so-" Bra was about to tease her mercilessly but Marron interrupted before she could get the words out, shutting the young girl up by reversing the situation.

"You know, this could be you in a few months." She said suggestively, knowing Bra was afraid of commitment of any kind. "I mean, if Ubuu asks, it's not like you're going to say no just because you'd rather not rush it. You'll be too speechless and excited, like every other girl, to refuse marriage." 

"Please," Bra rebutted, shaking her head and exaggerating the word for good measure. "I'd tell him no in a heartbeat. He knows I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, even if he knows _if _I were to get married it would be to him. Besides, he's not ready either. We're perfect for each other." She smiled proudly and shoved her nose in the air.

"That's what you say right now. But if he asked, ring and all, you'd be so speechless you would only nod and put it on. All women are suckers for weddings, and after tomorrow, you'll be thinking: hey, that's not such a bad idea." Marron smiled as well, countering Bra's move with a tilt of her own head. 

"Well, I'm only here because they made me come." A voice from the doorway said grumpily and was immediately recognized as Pan. Her mother was behind her and smacked the back of her head before passing her and walking into the room, followed by Chi-Chi.

"Ouch." Pan said, smiling as she spoke the word to let her mother know it hadn't hurt at all. "Besides, it's true. I hate weddings and I guarantee you _I _won't think it's such a good idea and want to do it when the thing's over."

"You just have no idea." Marron smirked proudly as they all began to work, opening boxes and setting things up for the reception. The tables had to be set, the candles in place, the tablecloths arranged perfectly, the napkins folded, and the menus looked over. They had a busy day ahead of them and then it would be time. Marron and Goten were getting married in less than twenty-four hours and it made Pan sour to think she'd be related to that blonde in a matter of…less than fifteen-hundred _minutes_.

After Bulma and Eighteen got there, they each set out discussing - in Pan's opinion - 'girly' things and started working. Marron was babbling on and on about where she and Goten were going for the honeymoon and all the women were listening and imagining it was them all over again. Except Pan and Bra, and even Bra had that dreamy-eyed expression on her face. Pan was beginning to think Marron was right and after this wedding Bra was going to want to have her own. If the look in her eyes was anything to go by, Ubuu was in trouble.

It was a little after dark when they finished, and Pan could literally see the change in Marron's face. It had stopped glowing and become some strange shade of pale, making her eyes look bluer and her cheeks pinker. On her, the unearthly nervousness looked beautiful and Pan wanted to slap her. She'd been more angry with Marron since she and Trunks decided the _incident _hadn't happened than she had before, or even than she had when Marron was engaged to Trunks. It was strange, the girl had done nothing but try to be friendly since they had had their big fight, and now it was like the fight had just happened. They were back where they started off, as if they'd made no progress, only Marron didn't know it. And Pan didn't know why. 

She and Trunks had been getting along better than ever and Pan assumed it would be the other way around. She assumed she'd be getting along with everyone _else_, just not Trunks. It was around that thought that the boys made their way into the room, huge grins on their faces and looking like best buds. 

"Can we help with anything?" Goten asked, smiling slyly and walking into the room to survey. Marron rolled her eyes and slapped him softly on the shoulder, walking past him to straighten out a tablecloth.

"There's nothing left to help with. If you had come, I don't know, maybe ten minutes earlier you could have hung the banners but…" Marron paused, giving him an appraising look, "Something tells me you two already knew that." Trunks and Goten laughed softly to themselves and, as Pan looked over at him, she could spot the sadness in Trunks' eyes. She could see where his smile didn't quite meet up and she could pinpoint the exact place where his features gave him away. She wondered if anyone else noticed. 

But if they did, they didn't say anything, and she certainly wasn't going to point it out. It only made her want to hit Marron all the more. But she shouldn't want to, she had quelled that need in her. She wasn't in love with Trunks like she used to be anymore; and she didn't want him to love her the way she used to any more. She'd grown out of that quicker than a preteen outgrows their jeans.

Really, he meant everything in the world to her, but she was used to the unrequited thing. She was comfortable with the fact that he wasn't interested and she didn't want him to be. She didn't want anyone to be. That was her final decision.

Her mind stated it but her heart and body obviously disagreed. For, even as she thought it, she was heading over to Trunks and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked down at her and smiled, knowing she saw through his mask right into his heart. Knowing she knew what the others did not. And, without thinking, he let one of his arms wrap around her waist and held her there. For some reason, she made him feel comfortable in the least relaxed situations. And he valued that. 

For some reason, ever since the 'incident' - as Pan so fondly referred to it in her head - they had become closer knit. Without either of them realizing it, friendly hugs had become a frequent, and casual touches had grown to be normal. Before, Pan would wonder why should Trunks randomly gave her a hug, but these days it was almost expected. One could only guess on whether either of them had noticed the change or just slipped contentedly into it.

"Anyway," Bra started, eyeing her brother and Pan with an inscrutable look. "We've finished and all of you should be heading home. We've got a big day tomorrow." She took control, looking around with warning glances to everyone. 

"Ah, we've got a busy _night _planned." Trunks smirked and looked at Goten with a devious glint in his crystal eyes. Pan sighed and moved away from him, shaking her head, just as Marron snapped around and gave them both disapproving looks.

"You're having a bachelor party?" She questioned indignantly, huffing and squinting her eyes at them. "How dare you?" She continued on without waiting for a response. 

"I'm sorry?" Goten asked, playing innocently dumb. "Isn't that normal? I am about to be tied down for the rest of my life." His eyes widened and closed before he smiled brightly and winked at her. She snorted and turned back around, still shaking her head. 

"Well I'm surprised you're jealous, Marron. It used to be a rare occasion." Trunks teased and Pan could hear the sliver of jealousy in his own voice. A slight trace of venom. She widened her eyes and tried to keep herself calm, crossing and uncrossing her arms before letting out a sigh. 

"Bra's right, I'm going home." Pan offered, making sure to keep the contempt out of her own voice as she spoke up. 

"Wait one second, dear." Her mother told her as she straightened the last piece of silverware busily.

*

"So, are you nervous?" Pan could hear Bra gush from the other side of the doorway. She was standing right outside the girl's changing room and she was already in her dress. She wasn't in the mood to stand there and watch Marron in her 'blushing bride' mode - it should be illegal to allow a slut to wear white on her wedding day - so she was waiting for the ceremony to begin. If she poked her head far enough she could see Goten standing up the isle with his suite on. A part of her was pleased, a bigger part because that meant Trunks wouldn't get Marron, but the majority of her was betrayed and upset.

This shouldn't be happening this way. Well, it shouldn't be happening at all, but if it had to happen, it shouldn't _this _way. Not while Trunks was still in love with Marron and pretending to be fine with the whole thing. Not three months after Goten and Marron got together. Not while Pan was still resenting the elder girl and crying on the inside because it had to happen. She didn't know when she'd feel better about the inevitable, but the only thing she could wish was that the music never started and the bride never came out. 

Unfortunately for her, the music began at just that moment and Bra came hurrying out of the room. Trunks came from the other end and they both stood there, waiting for their cue. Pan caught a side glimpse of Trunks, who was also staring at her - a strange glint in his eyes that wasn't easy to read - before quickly looking away. She could still feel his gaze on her, however, as the organizer cued Trunks and Bra to begin walking and they passed her. Next came Ubuu, who carefully took her elbow and began to lead her down the isle. 

Really, she didn't know why she was in the wedding party at all. If it hadn't been for Goten talking her into it she never would have agreed. But Goten had been there for her on more than one occasion when she'd cried but was too brave to ask for a hug. He had been there for her to give her advice during her schooling and throughout other tragedies in life and it would have been plain wrong of her to refuse him this. She loved him too much. 

Before she knew it 'here comes the bride' was playing and Marron was walking down the isle. The rest of the wedding persisted uneventfully until the part where the question about objections was asked. That was the tensest moment Pan had ever stood through in her life - it seemed as if _everyone _wanted to say something, but no one had the guts. And there was no objection. Pan wrinkled her face, disappointed, and zoned out as the rest of the proceedings took place.

The reception was almost just as boring. She hung by Trunks the entire time, watching to make sure he didn't have more than his share of champagne. She really didn't trust him to be sane after such a big event. But he didn't take more than what was normal and he kept trying to smile at her as if nothing was wrong with him. She saw right past it. 

"Will you stop trying to convince me that you're all right?" She frowned into her glass and then raised it up, taking a small sip. Goten and Marron were parading around the dance floor, making eyes at one another, and she and Trunks were the only ones left at the table. Bra and Ubuu were outside the building walking through the gardens. 

"I am okay, Pan." He smiled in a way that would have satisfied anyone else. But she wasn't anyone else, she was practically his other half. She knew him better than the back of her hand and she wasn't taking that for an answer. 

"No you're not, Trunks. You miss her." She told him rebelliously. "You miss her and you're miserable because of it." 

"I'm not miserable, I have you." And it was true. He wasn't completely out of the loop because he had her there to comfort him even though she didn't know she was comforting. And, because she was so good to him, he didn't want her to know what kind of pain he was in. That seemed to be the least he could do at a time like this. And the pretending helped him to deal as well. He had found, since that 'incident' with Pan 'never happened', that pretending made life simpler. In a way, he was running from his problems instead of dealing with them, but in a way he was waiting them out until they got better. 

But something about seeing the wedding had hurt him and he was giving that distant look again. He was wondering if it was all over for him and the thought made him tired. Because he wanted it to be. The thought of dating, of starting over, of meeting new people and getting to know them all over again tired him out. The thought of falling in love again scared him and it made him queasy at the same time. And if anyone understood that better than him, it was Pan. 

He was exhausted and completely sick of any thoughts that included the rest of his life. He was planning on being alone forever because it was too much to deal with trouble that was known as dating. It didn't help that he was richer than most men could imagine and more famous than he should be. That women threw themselves at him every chance they got and, in all honesty, he was a shy man. He wasn't a charmer the way most women imagined him to be. And he wasn't a smooth talker. Women expected that from him because of his status and it usually screwed him up from any decent girl he could have had. He was getting bags just thinking about 'finding a wife'. He'd rather not.

And then he thought about how empty his place was. He'd just moved into the house that he had built for him and Marron - despite the thought inside his head that told him that was stupid - and every time he turned around he was thinking about her. It was her dream house, not his. He'd tried to give it to her and Goten as a wedding gift, but they wouldn't hear of it. Marron said she felt bad enough about having him pay for and have a house built on her behalf and then leaving, she didn't want to take it from him completely. And she wouldn't listen when he tried to say he didn't want it.

So he walked around the place and listened to the echoes all night. It was barely furnished because he'd canceled most of the orders that were supposed to be delivered. It had three bedrooms and a master and, really, what was the point? He'd never have a family. He'd never have a wife and he'd always be alone. Why did that thought fill him with emptiness where, a year before, he was filled with joy?

He was thirty-six now and he could hardly believe it. Thirty-six years of his life he'd wasted. One on a woman who was now his best friend's wife. The rest he'd spent with a girl that was almost young enough to be his daughter - but not quite - and too good for him to ever love. He didn't know it then, but the 'not quite' was going to be his downfall. It was her voice that disrupted his thoughts and brought him sailing back to reality.

"You have a shadowed resemblance of me. The girl I used to be died a few months ago." She smiled dryly, obviously lost in a world of her own, and he felt his heart wrench again. Again he felt that urge to cradle her until her pain went away, to kiss her brow and cuddle her. He told himself that it was just his fatherly instincts kicking in, but the back of his brain argued that he wanted to do more than kiss her.

And that strange instinct to love her was taking control of his head again. Some kind of need to make her feel wanted and cherished, even if it wasn't true. A need to make it true. And he was left confused. Left to deal with what he didn't understand. And words from the only woman he ever truly loved echoing through his head…And suddenly what she'd said so long ago made him question himself. Suddenly, those words didn't sound like a bad idea…Why didn't she-?…he stopped himself before he could think the whole thought, believing it to be momentary insanity.

Pan looked at Trunks with wonder, her eyes searching his face with curiosity. He'd been lost to her for a while now, somewhere deep in his own world. And it was unlike him to leave such a depressing comment unanswered. She smiled slowly, wondering what he could be thinking about and yet, knowing he was thinking about _her_. The girl that was glowing and swirling around the dance floor like an angel. Pan's heart swelled because she knew that would never be her. She would never smile and forget her troubles and be that completely happy. She'd never get married and have love because she refused to let herself have it after what she'd been through. 

And she was vengefully jealous. Marron was partly right, she was sitting there thinking this marriage thing wasn't such a bad idea. If only she had thought that almost a year ago. Before Gabriel had ruined the last remaining piece of her heart. That piece was truly the only thing she'd had left, the only strength in her that would allow her to let herself go again. It was crazy to say it, but she really was ruined.

"Well, whoever I have, she keeps me sane." He finally responded, taking her by surprise because he hadn't challenged her or told her that she'd be the same again. That it was just a phase and would pass. He hadn't given her that 'I'm-older-than-you-so-this-is-how-it-works' speech to let her know that she was still the same girl. She let her lips upturn into a smile before she stood up, offering him her hand.

"Dance with me, Mr. Briefs." It wasn't a question, but a command, and before he knew what was happening she'd pulled him to his feet and he was twirling her around. And he was comfortable, in fact he'd never been more comfortable. 

That only solidified the thought in his mind. Made him want to do what he'd just been thinking more than ever. It made perfect sense. It was the only thing that was even remotely comprehendible in his life. He wondered why it had taken him so long to think of it. Why hadn't he considered it long before now? When he was at home and he couldn't stand the silence anymore and he had to call her to keep from going insane? Why hadn't he thought about it then? Maybe it was the champagne thinking, but he truly hadn't had _that _much. Not enough to make him want to do what he was thinking. He wasn't sure there was enough alcohol in the world to get him to do what he was considering…

"Ah," He smiled as the song ended and let the thought slide away from his head. "You're a lovely dancer, milady." She beamed up at him as they took their seats again.

"What were you thinking about? You looked so lost - sort of happy." She asked the question with semi-hesitation because she wasn't sure she wanted to know what he was thinking at all. She had a good idea of what he was going to say and she didn't like the thought. 

"You." He responded simply, not loosing his smile. She blushed and looked down, wondering how she was supposed to take that bit of information. 

"What about me?" There was a coy tint to her voice as she spoke, but only slightly for she knew she was living in childish fantasies.

"How we should have a date night tonight. At my place, you know, just us?" She could hear the sneak in his voice as he said it but she didn't challenge it. The offer had certainly surprised her, but it was more the _way _he said what he said, not the content of his speech. The way he'd worded the question made her want to laugh; it was like one of those movie scenes where the people sat in the car outside the apartment and one of them asked the other up for 'coffee'. She smiled softly to herself - as if _that _was what he had in mind.

When she didn't respond to his question, only looked at him with a curious grin on her lips, he felt the heat in his cheeks rise and he cleared his throat. "I mean, you haven't seen the house and…" She cut him off with a mischievous smile. 

"You're going to give me a tour that will end up in your bedroom, aren't you?" Her voice had taken an accusing air, but only slightly as she grinned at him. It was a joke, but he obviously hadn't picked up on the message for he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and began to shake his head vigorously. 

He opened his mouth, quickly contradicting, because it terrified him that she would think he was up to something like that. Never would he…, and before he got the whole thought in his mouth was calling out to her. "Pan, I…" She cut him off again, still grinning.

"Trunks, I was kidding." She laughed, shaking her own head as his blush deepened.

"I knew that." He protested defiantly, trying to cover his mistake.

"Uh-huh, sure you did." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'd love to. Let me just tell mom and dad what we're up to." Her eyes glittered as she said the ending and she lifted her eyebrows up and down teasingly. His eyes widened and he planned to protest again but she was up, off, and walking in the other direction before he could say another word.

After Marron had thrown her dreadful bouquet and some girl named Kristen wound up with it (Bra was the one that actually caught it but she made this horrified expression of detest and shot it back in the air again) and Goten had thrown Marron's garter into the air (at which time every bachelor in the room moved out of the way and it landed on the floor - Marron made a pouty face and Trunks hopped in to save her day, eagerly grabbing the thing to see her smile) _and _they had cut their ghastly cake, it was time for the reception to be over. Everyone had eaten, everyone had toasted, and everyone had danced. Marron had made her speeches, announced where the honeymoon would be at, and opened all the wedding presents. Goten made his speeches, kissed Pan on the cheek and told her she was still his best girl, and eaten all the cake. Really, the party was over, dead, beat into the ground. And people began to depart leisurely. Among them, Trunks and Pan. 

Gohan watched with a dim face as his daughter headed off - despite his protest of feeling uncomfortable - to be with Trunks. Now Gohan knew they had some kind of barrier in their brains that forced them to look the other way when their feelings were concerned, but he did not. And he saw what was happening. And now he was more sure than ever that it would happen tonight. He would loose his little girl forever. He could see it in Trunks' eyes. 

He didn't know exactly how Trunks managed to break Pan every chance he got, but he did. He could see that the boy didn't try - could tell Trunks only wanted the best for her - but Trunks was so screwed up that it didn't matter his intentions. What mattered was what happened. And it was never good. Gohan feared that this - whatever Trunks had planned for the evening - would be the end of her. 

Pan was at the end of her rope and he knew those ends were frayed. Any second now she would fall apart and be vulnerable to irrevocable damage. Any second now she could become lost to him - to the world forever. And he hated watching it, knowing it could happen, and not being able to do anything about it. If a father couldn't save his daughter before she reached rock bottom, who could? And what was he good for?

  
A/N: One of my shorter chapters, I know. I considered combining this chapter with the next chapter but I decided that would have been too many events at once and it would have been _long_. So I just decided not to. Anyways, I'm really excited about next chapter so it should be up much faster than the rate I've been going but I'm still not promising. This one still might take a week. -sigh- Anyway, on to the good stuff:  
  
author responses- my thanks and appreciation go to:  
incoherence, DBZChicky501, Hanamaru285, DBprincess116, Swiss Cheese, karena, bella, Animechick, Dbzfan550, Jezika, Kaji Hikage, Deidra, Morgause Nokami, mystic, Camille, monkey_see_monkey_do, PrInCeSs Of LiGhT, dragon agility, ladybugg, Itsudemo Warai, amy, Beji, clb844, dbz obsessed- that was sweet, thanks, chibbi usago, trackee, KoreanChick, Akarat, vintageskater, caramel, maz, Lady*Venom, reviewer, Yokiko Pan, Miko-chan, trunks lover, erica, PannyGurlly, TorankusuGohan, qui, anonymous, Lynn, Silverdust-Aestis, lil-baby-azn-gurl, and v-chan ! ^-^   
  
**ShadowWind- **thanks for the review and the encouraging words, I really appreciate it.   
^-^ and you don't have to worry about me rushing Trunks and Pan together…though I don't think I have to say that now since that review was 3 chapters ago . never mind.  
  
**gecko-** firstly, thank you for the review it made me smile ^-^ and then on to the comments. I'm glad you thought my 'romance' scene was well placed and I don't know what it is about romance being tragic these days. Just a fad I guess? I would say mine is getting happier but, eh, I don't know…sort of? And lastly, I didn't have Trunks and Goten use their powers because I figured that would be _bad_. But when Pan gets angry later on you'll see a bit of her saiyan strength kicking in. I just don't like to write those 'let's go out and kill each other scenes' I don't think the DBZ characters do that to one another - unless it's Vegita or Gohan…  
  
**Pia Bartolini-** you've seen worse in Disney? Really…:-/ that's scary. But anyway thank you for that comment it made me really happy. You have no idea.

  
**ChibiKari**- Thanks for the review! she does hate Marron, but you have to remember how in love she is with Trunks. It was a point I was trying to make actually. She considers his feelings before her own and the immediate thing that entered her mind was _how is Trunks going to feel_ (when Goten marries Marron). And besides, Goten and Trunks friendship was a bigger issue than Pan's feelings for Marron - they'd been best friends for years. I don't usually write Pan as the 'what about me' kind of character when I do T/Ps. -shrug-  
  
**black diamonds-** I love you. Have I told you that you're my favorite? (don't tell the others…-shifty look-) You always make me feel like I'm famous -huggles tightly- I loved your long review, read it a couple of times, it meant a lot to me. Thank you so much!  
  
**Dark Anjel-** …-is confused by chapter 10's review- … but thanks anyway.  
  
**MiraiGurl**- it was not a _lemon_ -is offended- no, not really. ^-^ it was a 2nd base scene and _Trunks_ is offended (he says he would have lasted longer than half a page -is grumpy-). But, sure, I can skip the detail. I've never been good at putting detail, I only did it because a friend of mine says that if I can write about sex I can write about anything. So I wanted to see how far I could get…I blushed every time I typed 'breasts' you have no idea how modest I really am…  
  
**incoherence- **bwahahaha! There will **never **be a last chapter. Ever! … I'm okay, really…meep! -runs away-

****

amy- the story goes on after they get together but there's a catch. With me there's always a catch. But don't worry, it'll be good…I hope…O.e  
  
**Chris**- haha. The world does revolve around Marron…in her head…and everyone treat her accordingly. It probably was intended to make her seem like a bitch - you see, I hate Marron. But I try to be fair to all of my character and you know, so I can't just outright talk about her. And Trunks is deliberately made a drama queen. Because I enjoy it…I'm sick and twisted. You're not reading too much into it, everyone else just isn't reading _enough_ into it - but that's cause _I'm _strange. My feelings about these characters are hidden throughout the story, I just won't share them because I might get bomb threats…oh, and the engagement ring is going to make a comeback. -giggles- (when I 'giggle' you should be scared…) Thanks for the reviews I loved them!  
  
Whew, I thought I'd _never_ finish. I'm not waiting this long to do author response again, it's too much. And by the time I respond to something 3 chapters ago, it doesn't matter anymore. x.x -dies- anyway - I've been at this for 2 hours. I'm done! Oh, if you didn't see your name and you reviewed - yell at me. Really, I don't mind. If I offended you when I responded tell me, yell, I don't mind. If I put your name more than once it was an accident…but you can yell too, I don't mind. And if you hated this chapter go ahead and yell, guess what…I don't mind! ^-^ don't forget to review! -can't believe she's saying that after all those reviews she just responded to…dies again-


	13. That’s a good question

  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters. The italics at the end belong to Kelly Clarkson and everyone who collaborated in _The Trouble with Love is_. The poetry a few chapters ago was mine though, steal and I'll murder you…-shifty look, runs from FBI-  
A/N: Okay, a few things to say that are kind of important: 1) you weren't supposed to get the line where Trunks goes 'Maybe she-' and you wouldn't find the answer in the previous chapter either. That was one of those things only I was supposed to know. ^_^ and 2) this is the important one. **Treat this chapter as if it were the very first**. -tries to explain before your head spins out of whack- The other…12...-coughcough- chapters before this were nothing but background information. -cowers- I couldn't help not telling you that in the beginning, I mean how would you have reacted if I'd have told you that you'd have to read 119 pages of preface before you got to the real story? Yeah, that's what I thought. So now you're hooked and you have to read the rest because you want to know so badly what's going to happen…right? No? Well humor me anyway and try not to get too upset. On a brighter note, the only people involved in this chapter are Trunks and Pan. ^_^

That's a good question

"What's wrong?" He questioned dully, not bothering to turn his head as he asked.

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" She challenged in much the same manner, her own eyes not leaving the television screen. 

"You've been sitting over there for an hour - you haven't said anything to me." He responded, turning his head slightly so that he could see her profile. "And you just answered my question with a question. So tell me what's wrong." She let a heavy sigh fall from her throat as she steered her eyes to meet his, a chilling expression on her face. 

"I've just been thinking, that's all." She sat back, pushing her body into the chair to get comfortable. In turn, Trunks laid down on the sofa, turning so that he could see her and the television at once. He lifted his head and folded his elbow under it, getting comfortable himself. 

"What were you thinking about?" He smiled, though distantly, because she was sitting halfway across the room and he wanted her closer to him. She had to know that he hadn't actually planned for the house tour to end in the bedroom - that was just the last room in the house. He'd told her that when they got there, she laughed pleasantly and shook her head at him. But they were back in the living room now, so everything was okay.

"Everything." She shrugged and met her eyes with his, letting a small smile fill her face. "Everything." She repeated it with more emphasis so that he would know she didn't mean 'anything' but _everything_.

"Ah." He let his eyes drift closed and open again lazily before nodding and patting the space next to his body. "Come here." 

She smiled slowly, looking up at him to see if he knew how many ways his statement could be misconstrued. His eyes twinkled in a way that said he did and she rolled her own at him, smirking and getting up. "You know, Mr. Briefs, I'm beginning to think you _did_ invite me here to tour you room." Laughter was caught in her voice and it made him smile but he didn't offer any objection this time, only a shrug.

"Who told you of my evil plan to takeover the world, one woman at a time?" She shook her head at him and sat down on the small space, smiling down at his face in an unreadable way. 

"You're no good playing the villain, I like you better as my knight." He poked his lip out in a complaining sort of way and she had the strangest urge to make her lips meet his in a kiss. But she didn't, only smiled again and scooted up a little more on the chair. He frowned and moved the arm that was under his head, letting it snake around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Lay with me." He pleaded, giving her sad eyes and another childish pout that she couldn't imagine any woman refusing. He situated on his side so that she'd have room and waited expectantly. 

"Why do I feel like Eve right now?" She joked, moving her body so that she could lay on the sofa as well, close to him but not too close. 

"I don't know, why do you?" He mocked, pulling her the rest of the way to him, wrapping his arms around her body. Their bodies were too close, she easily noted. Her chest was slightly pressed to his, her legs brushing his legs, and his arms were around her. She could feel his breathing on her nose and she buried her head into his neck to avoid the feeling of tingles that it gave her. 

"Because we shouldn't be doing this." Came her muffled reply, teasing his neck with her warm breath. He shook away from her a little, closing his eyes slowly. 

"No?" Was his only reply, as if he found nothing wrong with how close they were. 

"Does this have something to do with Marron?" She tried not to sound accusing as she let her head rest on the chair next to where his shoulder was.

"What does Marron have to do with anything?" His eyes were still closed and she didn't feel his body tense the way it should have if he knew what she meant by her question. He was genuinely confused then. Maybe she was just reading too much into this situation and they weren't too close at all. Maybe he could lay here with her and not feel the same tingles she did - could honestly hold her and not want to jump her. Maybe it was just her, it wasn't like he was attracted to her anyways. She could be imagining this whole thing. 

"Marron has nothing to do with your sudden need to be held?" She tied again, keeping herself out of murky water the best she could. 

"My need to be held? Hmm, I guess, since you were just sitting over there all cute and thinking, I'd rather you be cute over here." She could feel the shrug, though she couldn't see it, and she wondered if he could feel her blush. There was no teasing in his voice, nor had he taken the tone of one who was flirting. She didn't know how to interpret his words, other than complete honesty - and she knew him well enough to know when he was lying. So this had nothing to do with Marron…

"That's it. You just wanted me to think over here instead of over there?" She questioned, still suspicious of his action and completely confused. 

"Yeah, that and I wanted you to share. What kind of everything is occupying your mind these days?" She smiled and he could feel it on his skin as her breath exhaled, it made him smile too.

"Well, just a few minutes ago I was thinking about Goten." She started to explain, getting lost in her own world. 

"Were you? And here I was thinking you were thinking about me." He tried to sound hurt but she wasn't buying it and she paid him no mind, rolling her eyes and continuing on with her explanation. 

"I mean, he's a married man now. And less than six months ago he was the last one anyone thought would be married first. We all thought Bra would be the one." 

"No, we all thought _you _would be the one, we just didn't have the guts to tell you that, missy." He could feel her tense in shock and in seconds her head was coming up to look at him. He couldn't help but laugh at the baffled expression on her face. 

"What?" Was the only thing that she could find to say as she stared at him. He laughed softly at her, causing both their bodies to shake in his hold. 

"We've always thought you'd be the first one to get married because you were always the one that wouldn't settle down." He was still laughing as he explained it. 

"That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, Trunks." Pan challenged, her body still tense as if she were upset. He tried to smuggle his laughter but it was too hard so he let it drift out in one big swoop before stopping.

"Why is it stupid?" He asked, still hiding a bit of amusement in his voice. He didn't wait for her to answer, knowing full well what she meant, and instead swept back into an old conversation. "Never mind, I think I interrupted your story. My apologies" 

"Yeah, you did. And it wasn't a story - you asked me a question I was only trying to answer it." 

"Forgive me then." He laughed, placing a kiss on the top of her head. He could hear her 'humph' and it only made him smile brighter. 

"As I was saying," She emphasized the words so that he would know she thought he was rude. "I was thinking about how his life is going to change now. And I was wondering…Do you think he'll be happy with her?" He sighed and began to run a finger slowly across her back, making aimless patterns across the T-shirt she'd changed into. 

"I know he will." He finally answered, after breathing in her hair for a few moments. She didn't seem to be satisfied with that because he never felt her body relax and after a few more moments he sighed heavily again. "Listen, do you think that I would have let them get married if I thought she was going to hurt him? Much less, do you think I would have been there?" 

"I don't know, Trunks. It's like Marron has some kind of spell on you. On everyone. I've always felt like the world revolved around her," She cut off when she felt his body rise in unnatural ways and she could hear the chuckles he was trying to cover up. "What the hell is funny? I'm trying to have a heart to heart with you and you're laughing at me? You've got some nerve-"

"Pan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way…" He couldn't hold the laughter back anymore and he had to pause to get it all out. 

"Listen," He started again, when he was ready to talk. "Marron makes everyone feel that way. She's one of those people that require attention - she needs to live off of it. But it's okay, we all know that, but it's part of why we love her," 

"And you're still in love with her, aren't you?" He didn't say anything; for a fleeting moment she thought he wouldn't answer and then,

"Some days I think I do." He smiled fondly, looking up at the ceiling as if it had the secrets of the world written on it. 

"And others?" 

"And other days I wonder if I ever did." He shrugged and she looked up at him, seeing the glossed over distant look in his eyes and knowing that this was one of the days he thought he did. 

"Why?" This came out before she could stop it and she almost rolled her eyes at herself. She figured she'd better elaborate before he got confused, "I mean, why do you think you love her some days and then wonder during the others?" 

"I don't know." He responded quickly, honesty in his voice. "I guess…sometimes the loneliness gets the best of me and I wish she was here. Some days I hate the sound of silence and I remember how she used to take it away from me."

The thought made Pan angrier than she had been about Goten and Marron. It made her upset because she didn't want to think of Trunks in pain, and not just the heartsick pain that could be gotten past, but the kind that she'd been feeling. Pain that had been driving her crazy and keeping her up at night. The ache to feel somebody there, because she needed to be held or she didn't want to hear the rain as her only form of company. 

It made her upset because she lived in a world in which Trunks was never hurt or unhappy - and if he was it was because of her. It almost sounded sick to think of it that way, but she wanted to be his only drama, wanted to be his only reason to smile and to cry, wanted to be why he stayed up at night. And she had thought she'd gotten past that but laying in his arms this way proved her wrong. At this very moment they were being closer than they'd ever been before, and not just physically. 

Because he'd never honestly talked to her about his relationships before. Just his general feelings or the general things that were going on. He was seeing so-and-so anymore because she was boring, or she was using him, or she was too talkative. He and Marron were arguing and he was tired. Anything that couldn't be read into too much. But never had they shared so completely. So uninhibitedly. And it opened up doors for her that she didn't know existed. 

It made her think things that she knew she shouldn't be thinking. She and Trunks would never be close enough for anything to develop. They would never be anything more than friends. And she hadn't had to remind herself that in months. Knowing that she had to now scared her, made her stiffen more, and she wanted out of his arms. She wanted this conversation to be over, she wanted to shut down and run away from him. But she couldn't do that, she promised herself she wouldn't. She would never leave him - it was just that sometimes he was so much more than she could handle. Sometimes he sucked more life out of her than she could give. And she wanted to disappear from his life. 

Sometimes she wanted to fade into nothingness and leave him all alone. But she wanted him to be sad because _she _left him all alone, not because Marron had. If he had to be sad, that is, because a bigger part of her didn't want him to be sad at all. The majority of her hated thinking that he was incomplete without some other girl. Hated wishing he'd feel better and find someone new, because that meant that he wouldn't be laying here with her - spilling his heart out to her. Holding her in his arms. 

"You don't ever have to be alone, Trunks." She told him softly, after letting her thoughts dance around her for a time. He nodded his head and smirked, looking down at her and running his hands up and down her back in a soothing way. 

"I know that now, Pan." There was something about the way he said it that made her shiver. Sent a chill of confusion through her body. Because again she got the eerie feeling that he was saying so much more than she heard, the way she had a month ago when he said he loved her. Right before something disastrous happened…

"So today, do you love her?" She asked though her mind was screaming that she didn't want to know the answer. Her mind was kicking her and telling her not to snoop so much but she wouldn't listen. There was a curious part of her that just had to hear him say it.

"I'm not sure. I saw her smile today, looking beautiful in all white, and dancing with _him_. I don't know if my system knows how to take that. My head keeps whispering that it was supposed to be me and I feel kind of sad. So right off, when you ask that question, my immediate response is yes." Pan opened her mouth because she wanted to say something but she had a feeling that he wasn't finished so she didn't move. She didn't let the words come out of her mouth, only closed it again. 

"Yes I do love her. But then, I'm laying here with you. And I'm not thinking, do I miss her? And I'm not wondering if I made a huge mistake somewhere in our relationship. And I'm not trying to pick out what I should have changed to get her to love me more than him. I'm only…here. With you. And I'm not so sure if I love her anymore." 

Her heart sped up about ten times faster than it was going and she could feel her palms turn moist. Again, she was left with the dumbfounded feeling as to how she should take the news. Again she was left thinking that she'd misinterpreted something or she hadn't understood a meaning - at the same time, feeling like she'd heard less than he'd said. Now she was speechless, and for some strange reason, a part of her wanted to cry. And a part of her wanted to kiss him. 

"I think…" She searched for the words that would do justice to her feelings at the moment. "I think that was the sweetest thing that's ever been said to me." She could feel the way his body moved next to hers and she knew, without looking, that he was laughing again. 

"That can't be true, Pan." And the way he said it made her feel like his words weren't meant to be taken the way she took them. 

"And why not?" She challenged, a little upset because he had her right back on that emotional Rolla coaster - the one she thought she'd graduated from and was now too tall to ride. 

"Because you're too beautiful for _that _to have been the nicest thing. I've heard Goten tell sweeter things to the mail lady, for dende's sake." 

"Trunks," She was sure he could hear the offense in her voice and she didn't like that it was so plainly distributed. "I'm trying to give you a compliment here. It _was _the sweetest thing I've ever had said to me - because you said it." She could have gone on, her anger would have allowed it, but her pride would not. Her cheeks were burning and suddenly she felt very foolish, as if she were a teenager again, standing in front of the boy she had a crush on and trying to hold a conversation. Why could he do this to her? 

"Sweetheart, if that's the nicest thing I've ever said to you, you should have smacked me a long time ago to wake me up." And the blush was stronger now. And she was only more confused. This…whatever it was, wasn't helping her. Whatever he was doing, was it supposed to be conversation? Well, it was making her want him again, and she didn't want to want him. And she was sure he didn't want her to want him either. She didn't say anything else and after a few more minutes of silence it began to weigh on him. 

"Pan?" He questioned, tightening his hold on her. "What else were you thinking about?" 

"You mean besides Marron?" She smiled to herself and he could feel her exhale, as if she were about to begin a long story. "Oh, you know, everything." The reality that that was all she was going to say threatened to make Trunks laugh again but he fought it. 

"Does 'everything' have a name?" 

"No." She responded quickly, shaking her head so that her hair scraped across his chin. 

"Yes." He answered for her, not believing her answer. "Did _you _love everything?" He challenged her with a smile, honestly curious about her feelings for the male he knew she'd been thinking about just then. 

"You mean Gabe?" She asked as if she were dumb. 

"No, I meant Toby." He responded sarcastically. "Of course I meant Gabe." 

"Well, I don't know." She answered lightly, shrugging her shoulders. "On my best days I liked him a lot." A little laugh flowed through her, making his body tingle with a strange kind of delight. Knowing she was happy about something sent a peculiar kind of power over him, like he had never felt before, and he wanted to keep her that way forever. Wanted to do anything, all of the sudden, to make sure that smile always rested on her lips - to make sure that laughter always toppled out of her throat just as merrily as it did at that second. 

It was fleeting and terrifying at the same time. It scared him, nearly senseless, because he'd never felt anything that strong before. And, almost as if automatically, he tightened his grip around her waist possessively. His brows furrowed because he could feel that his heart rate had kicked up, but that was the only sign that his emotions had actually changed. It left him wondering if he'd imagined the feeling or if it had actually been there. He felt as if this was what he'd been missing all his life but yet, he wasn't sure what it was. He was scared to even consider. But he was positive of what it wasn't - it wasn't love. He'd felt love and, sadly, this wasn't it. 

"I'd like to keep you, Pan. Can I?" He smiled as he said it and she looked up at him quizzically. 

"Now I'm even more confused." She shook her head, still smiling, and shifted her body so that she was closer to him and her head was buried into his chest. "Don't say things like that to me." 

"Why not, if it's true?" He questioned with a teasing smile on his face. He had an idea what she meant and he couldn't blame her because she had no idea what he was thinking inside his head. She had no idea what had been running through his system ever since he asked her here with him. And even though she didn't know, since she'd gotten here she'd done nothing but solidify his decision.

"Because it makes me feel weird." She supplied, still burying her head into his chest as if she could hide from the world there. "Anyways, back to my thoughts," She decided that was a more comfortable subject than whether or not Trunks could 'keep her'.

"Yes, back to that head of yours. I think you were telling me how much you loved Gabriel." She rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder, in what was supposed to be a hit but wound up being a touch. 

"I was telling you that I…well I can't say I loved him but I'd like to."

"Why?" He asked, copying her question from a few minutes earlier. 

"Why what, Trunks? Why didn't I love him or why would I have liked to?"

"I don't know…both I guess. From what I gathered he was supposed to be a pretty great guy." She looked up at him to see if he was being serious or sarcastic and only saw genuine emotion in his eyes, so she decided to answer him. 

"Well…I'm not sure if I know how to answer that." She thought on it for a second, concentrating so hard he could nearly feel her biting her lip, and then she answered. "I guess I wanted to love him because he was a great guy. And part of me felt that he was the last great thing to happen to me. I know it's stupid, because I'm only twenty-one, but I really felt like he was it. I still do, you know?

"It's like, the thought of starting over again - of meeting new people and learning to trust them again - is so exhausting I can't fathom it. I can't put my heart out there and risk that it get broken by someone else, I've been too hurt for that to happen." 

"Pan, I never meant for-" She could hear the guilt in his voice and she didn't want to. It wasn't his fault she was so broken, he never meant to hurt her, ever, so she interrupted him. 

"I don't just mean you, Trunks. I mean everyone. Everyone's hurt me one time or another in a million different ways. And it's like, I've bottled it up so much that it ate away at me. It corroded my heart until the only thing I had left was a small resemblance of what I used to be. And so, when I met Gabe, something told me that if this didn't work nothing ever would." She took a deep breath and looked at him, skepticism in her eyes, wondering if she'd made any sense. "Do you know what I mean? I mean, am I making any sense?"

"You're making perfect sense, I just wish it wasn't true." He said sadly, drawing in a deep breath, full of anguish. "I wish I could take away the pain, Pan, but I don't know how."

"No one can, and that's all right Trunks. I mean I've accepted it now. I know what I can do and what I can't and it's all right with me. Unfortunately I'm just not one of those people that can give their heart away so easily. I can't trust the way others do and I guess that's why I couldn't love him. I mean, I tried, really I did. But it's like there's this barrier on my heart that forbids me to crave anything that I'm even remotely close to getting. And I don't know why…I mean, I have an idea. I've always thought that if he…I mean, I've always thought that- It wasn't fair.

"The way life turns out is never fair and I can't seem to understand why. I keep thinking that if I could change this one thing or if I could go back and right just that one thing, everything would be all right. But I don't ever see the happy ending. I can't seem to believe in Cinderella anymore and I want to. He would have wanted me to and I…I just wish he had never left, is all. If he hadn't left I wouldn't feel this way, you know?" She was lost now as he let his finger drift down, pulling her head up so her eyes could meet his. He knew she wasn't talking about the same thing anymore, he just wanted to make sure that she was where he thought she was. And she was, her eyes were gone again, and he knew what she was thinking of. He knew that she had switched topics on him. 

"You're not talking about Gabriel anymore, are you?" He didn't wait for an answer, he didn't have to. "He's never been a stationary man, sweetheart. He's always come and gone, you know that. The thing about Goku is, you have to get used to what he is - take what you can get and live off the good memories. You can look back one day and think how great he was, you can know that everything he did, he always did because he thought it was best, and know that he loved his family very much. He loved you, Pan, and it wasn't your fault he left." She smiled sadly at him, blinking back the tears and fighting to focus on everything he was saying. 

"I know, Trunks. I mean, I say I know. But I just…I…" She couldn't finish because she found that a tear had escaped her eye and she was actually crying. In front of him. The mortification of the situation made her face turn scarlet and her eyes drift downward. "What I mean is, why couldn't he just stay? I feel like he's always run away from us and it's hard to know that and still think it's not my fault. I mean, was I not good enough for him?" She shut her eyes slowly, burying her head into his again as she felt his breath draw in slowly, as if she'd hit him. 

"Don't say that, love, of course you were. He adored you. He loved his entire family, he just thought merging with the dragon was the right thing to do. And he did it, do you understand?"

"I've always understood it, I just don't know if I believe it."

"Well you've got to, if not, what else do you have? If you don't it soils every memory of him that you have left. He did love you and it was never because you weren't good enough. It was just the way Goku was." She didn't say anything more and he was done with his speech for quite some time. They listened to each other breathe for a long period, in silence, until Pan raised her head and looked at him with a smirk on her lips. 

"I think…I think you need to feed me, I'm kind of hungry." She smiled and he let her joy drift into him, laughing at her statement. 

"You're always hungry." He shook his head, waiting until she adjusted so that he could move. Then they got up with each other and he headed to the kitchen to cook her a meal. Soon after they ate, having peaceful conversation, until Pan declared she was full enough - not full, but full enough - and they went back to the living room. He turned the television back on and laid down on the couch, his back completely on it, leaving no room for her unless she was to lay on him. And she took her spot on the chair again, looking at her watch and wondering when he would declare this 'date' over. She felt as if she'd shown him her soul tonight and, just sitting there, she'd never felt more naked in her entire left. 

It was as if he could look over at her and see right through her. As if he could read every emotion in her eyes, in her movement. And she was afraid that he could. Because if he could, he'd be able to see how much she loved him at that very second. If he could, he'd be able to see through her tough façade, straight to the girl that was crying inside. And she didn't want to be that girl, not around him. He made her want to be better than that girl. His body must have felt the heat from her eyes because he looked over at her, smirk in place, and lifted his eyebrows. She didn't give him the chance to ask whatever question was burning on his lips, instead she filled the room with her own. 

"Do you think you'll fall in love again?" She needed to know, because if he did, that meant there was hope for her. But his eyes danced away from hers and it didn't give her any hope at all. 

"Why do you ask?" He questioned, after a second. She opened her mouth to respond but he interrupted. "I can see we're not through with our life-altering conversations yet so come back over here and tell me what's on your mind." He smiled pleasantly as she stood up, moving slowly and deeply in thought. 

"Because I'm never falling in love again, but you probably will." She sighed, looking deeply into Trunks' eyes, her own a dull brown color as she moved towards the couch he was laying on. A soft, bitter laugh rolled from his throat into the air as he opened his arms for her, pulling her down onto the couch, into his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder, her body completely on top of his, his arms circled around her.

Hearing her confession scared a part of him because he knew it was true in her eyes. He'd seen her with men and it was like watching someone's hair be pulled out - she acted as if it were painful to date. Maybe she couldn't find it in her to love again, maybe she couldn't fall for some guy and be happily ever after. It was then that he decided, made his plan a reality. Because the thought of her suffering through life was too much to bear and he didn't even want to think it, much less watch her live through it. 

He could offer her so much more than what she was giving herself. And she deserved to want so much more than what she was accepting. It was crazy for her to believe she'd never find love again. She was so beautiful and so young, and she had so much to offer. What would she do when she woke up one morning and realized that she was painfully alone and there was nothing left to do?

He wanted to say that she hadn't meant it. Wanted to say that it was only the part of her that believed in fairy tales that told him she wasn't falling in love. Because she hadn't found her prince charming and she didn't think he existed. Because the closest she'd ever come, in her head, was him and she felt she could never have him. And he didn't want that for her. He wanted her to be happy and he wanted her to smile. He also wanted to hold her and he wanted to feel her near him. And he was getting that right then - she was happy and he was with her. What was so wrong with that? 

For at least ten minutes they lay there in silence, neither of them even attempting to speak to the other. Until Trunks' voice broke the comfortable quiet. 

"Pan?" He questioned, getting the feeling that her breathing was becoming more slow and even by the second. 

"Hmm." She answered lazily, keeping her eyes closed against him. 

"Will you marry me?" However he expected her to respond to his spastic question, he wasn't sure. He didn't know if he thought she would shoot up and give him the strangest look on earth, calling him crazy and running out the door, or laugh as if it were a joke. He wasn't sure if she would answer. Wasn't sure if he wanted to hear her answer. But however he expected her to respond, what she said, wasn't it. 

"Why?" He paused for a second, unsure if he'd heard her correctly, then smiled. That was the best thing she could have said. Yes, why. That was a good question. He sighed and closed his eyes, tightening his embrace around her waist. 

"I'm thirty-six years old." He began as if that should explain everything to her. Before he continued he closed his eyes and opened them again, slowly and drawing out the moment. "And I'm the president of the most successful business in the world. Women throw themselves at me daily and all I can do is think about her. I mean, I'm a pitiful mess and I never want to love again. Look what it brings. I never want to hurt or date again. But I don't want to be alone. I hate being alone,"

"I have everything a woman's after: the most eligible-desirable bachelor in the world; and only two women have ever loved me for me in my entire life. One of them just married my best friend." He paused, giving her body a small. meaningful squeeze before he continued. "I can't offer you all the things a proper husband could, and I can't vow my undying affection. And I'm not going to drop down on one knee and swear I can't live without you. But I'd never lie to you, Pan. And I can promise you this: if you're willing to live with just my friendship for life, I'll never hurt you. I may never be in love with you, but I'll always love you. And I'll be good to you. I'll be there for you. I'll make sure you're happy. But if you expect me to fall in love in that time line, just say no; I may never love you that way. Think about it, at least, before you say anything."

He felt her breathing increase and he was sure she was upset about something. But she never said anything. For at least five minutes she stayed in his arms in complete silence, and he never asked her what she was thinking. Finally, he felt her body relax and she pulled her head up to look at him. Their eyes met and he could see the pain in hers. He could nearly hear the inner struggle that was going on within her. He wasn't sure whether he liked himself or not at that moment. 

"I've loved you all my life." She spoke so softly he was barely sure he heard her. She blinked a few times and diverted her gaze, amazed at how easily it came out of her mouth. She'd been trying to tell him in words for years that she was in love with him and this was the opportune time it chose to come out. He nodded. 

"I know." He spoke, matching her volume. They didn't say anything else, it was a mutual understanding between the two. She wouldn't answer right then but she would answer eventually. She pushed her body up as he sat properly in the chair, his arms never leaving her. 

"I'm going to go home now." She told him and he slowly let her go. 

It was at that moment that it dawned on him; he wasn't sure when he'd see her again. He wasn't even sure if he'd see her again. But what he did know was he couldn't take it back. The offer stood and he meant to hold by it. If she was willing to accept what he had left to give, he'd gladly give it to her. Because she did love him, he knew it. But didn't she deserve more than just someone's friendship for the rest of her life? He could never love her. He could never care for her the way she cared for him. This was what he'd been arguing with himself about for hours. Was this right? Could he honestly do this to her - after all she'd been through could he expect her to understand this? What if she didn't?

What if she thought he was being selfish again - which in part he was doing? If she believed that he'd only asked because he didn't want to be alone then she was wrong, but that was the way he'd made it sound. He cared about her, really cared, and he wanted her to be the person he spent the rest of his life with. But was that right? Could he honestly expect her to understand that while understanding that he wasn't in love with her? What he wanted to know was, was that fair?

Then she was gone. Out the door. And he wasn't sure if he wanted her to come back or not. He wanted her to be with him but he didn't want her to hurt for the rest of her life. And that's what he was offering. But wasn't it better than her being alone? That's what she was planning to do. And he could offer her some form of comfort, even if it wasn't everything he had to give. Even if Marron had taken his last hope at ever loving for real away. He still had something left and he was more than willing to give that to her. He wanted, so badly, to be the man she needed him to be. He wanted to love her and cherish her and hold her for life. He wanted to look into her eyes for eternity, because he felt complete every time he did. He really did want her to marry him, if he couldn't offer his dangerous love he could at least offer his undying affection - she'd always have that. 

And they had more than most married couples could ever dream of. They were best friends. And he did love her in his own way. And he could offer her everything that she could ever dream up or ask for, short of the genuine affections he'd always felt for Marron. But just because he wasn't in love with her didn't mean things couldn't work, didn't mean he didn't love her and wouldn't stand by her and hold her forever. That's all he wanted, all he could ever see himself wanting. The way he'd just felt, with her being in his arms, was the closest he'd ever come to being complete since Marron had left. Wasn't that a good sign at least?

His head was spinning as the warmth she had pressed into his chest began to fade away. Cold encumbered him once again and he felt the dull, persistent ache of emptiness. He really did hate being alone more than anything and he hoped she'd come back - for life.

__

I swore I'd never love again, I swore my heart would never mend, Said love wasn't worth the pain. But then I hear it call my name...The trouble with love is it can tear you up inside…

A/N: Because I know you were wondering, just one quick thing, she _was_ wearing pants along with the t-shirt she changed into, you perverts, you. -shakes head- m'kay, on to the serious stuff. I know what you're thinking: are you serious? That's it, right? You want to punch me, huh? And Trunks. Well, I'm sorry but this was the plan from day one…all right, maybe day three. But it was the plan! I've been afraid that you would hate this chapter since I put the first chapter out there, now please tell me you didn't hate this chapter. It would make me smile.

Review, you know you want to.

I bet you don't want to tell me my story's perfect anymore, do you? -looks pointedly at ladybugg- (not that I'm complaining, I loved the review. I just don't want to be perfect, because then I'll do something like this and none of you will like it and I won't be 'perfect' anymore :-/ )


	14. Why me?

  
**Disclaimer:** I own everything I say I own. And if I didn't then why would I say I own?  
**A/N:** You guys have _no idea _what I went through with this chapter. So many obstacles came up I could have written a book about _that_. It was tragic, honestly. Along with writers block and 'camp' there was the night we lost everything on the computer and I thought all my documents were gone and I _cried_. But we found them the next day and I could breathe again. **And then**, when I had the chapter ready, FanFiction **wouldn't work**! -kills it- And many, many more interesting tales that I could indulge in but I won't. I figure, you've waited long enough. Over a month, no?

Why Me?

She wasn't sure how long she stood outside of his house but what she did know was that the rain started to trickle slowly, beating down on her head, and then harder, making her hair stick to her scalp in clumped messes. She reached up and scraped absently at it, trying to shove it back, away from her eyes. But she wasn't seeing clearly and she wasn't sure she was thinking clearly either. 

Dende, why me? She thought, fighting hard not to go up to the guardian and demand answers. Her hands flew up to her hair and she violently tugged, not sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry - not sure if she was happy or sad. She recklessly chose the former, a malicious gibber flowing from pink lips and mixing with salty tears she wasn't aware of crying. _Why me? _she pleaded again. _Of all people, what did I do wrong? _

"I know," She spoke aloud, looking over her shoulder as if there were someone listening. "It's about that time I started the ship before Goten could get on, isn't it? It's not my fault he was a playboy and just had to talk to his girlfriend!" All sanity was escaping her as she shook her head, flinging water everywhere - whether it was from tears or rain she didn't know.

If she hadn't ever started that ship - gone with Trunks instead of Goten - then maybe none of this would have happened. If she had let things play out the way they were supposed to, maybe Trunks would have always thought she was a whiny brat and ignored her. Would she have liked that better? Was that even the thing that she'd done wrong? Maybe it was a lifetime of things, a lifetime of disobeying and being impulsive. Act then think was always her motto. Maybe she was paying retribution right now. Did Dende think this was ideal entertainment?

She threw her hands in the air and stomped, breaking the pavement beneath her feet. Hadn't she had enough already? Wasn't taking Gabe enough? Why couldn't he leave her alone? "I hate you!" Her lips yelled, throwing an energy wave into the air. She wasn't even sure who she hated. Trunks maybe. Maybe Dende or Gabe. Or maybe…maybe she hated herself. Either way it was all too much. 

How could fate be so cruel? Give her everything she'd ever wanted mixed in with everything she'd ever feared? It was all true, everything she'd been telling herself for years. He'd never love her, she'd never truly have him, and now she knew for sure…had always known…

Well, she wasn't going to do it. She wasn't even going to think about it. She was outraged, her dignity had been shot - her pride had been torn in half. She'd been thrown around too much for too long to want this right now. He'd been using her for years and there came a time when she had to be sick of it. Well…no, that wasn't entirely true. 

She begin to walk home slowly, still letting the rain fall on her. And her mind was captured by the thoughts of all the times he'd been their for her. He wasn't using her all the time…in fact…when had he _ever _used her? Well, besides _that one time _after Marron's wedding. And whenever he called her to 'pick a number' - but that was in love, she reminded herself. Then, as quickly as she had the thought and a smile had begin to sneak on her face, it wiped away with a vengeance. He'd never love her. Isn't that what he'd just spent this whole 'date' trying to get her to understand?

But that was just it, she didn't understand. If he could never love her why was it that he forgot all about Marron when she was around? Why was it that he felt so comfortable with her and she meant so much to him? How could he say he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and then say he could never be in love with her? And what did it matter, if she'd already decided she wasn't going to do it? Why was she still thinking about it when she said she wasn't? 

Because she was pissed, that's why. She was hurt and angry beyond belief and she couldn't imagine how to go about ignoring those feelings. You can't tell someone that you want them to mean everything to you and then say, oh by the way, I'll never love you that way. It just doesn't work. She clenched her fists in and out, letting her blood boil at the thoughts flooding through her head. She was bubbling and tipping over the edge, and she realized that she needed to release this steam or she was going to explode. Everything that had been pent up in her for years was suddenly floating to the surface and if she didn't find some way of calming down her body was going to burst from the inside out.

Her course changed almost instantly. She looked down at her watch, deciding that the hour was just late enough to piss someone else off, and she smiled. Confirming her thoughts with a nod. She threw her body up into the air and took off in the other direction, rubbing her fingers together as if they were itching, excited about what she knew was coming. It'd been too long anyway. 

*

"Get up Vegita!" She yelled as she walked into the kitchen. The man's head was laying limply on the table, his mouth slightly open, his cheek pressed firmly against the wood. He stirred at the sound of her voice, not the least bit startled at being so rudely awakened. But he wasn't expected to be, he'd lived too long with Bulma - who was the loudest person on earth - to be surprised by suddenly loud sounds. 

His eyes eased up until they were scrutinizing her face and then a slow, somewhat malicious smile fitted onto his lips. One of his eyebrows lifted and his head titled to the side as he observed her. "Brat." He nodded his greeting, keeping his voice neutral, all emotion cleared out of his tone. 

"I hope you aren't too tired." She didn't bother to beat around the bush, rolling the sleeves of the T-shirt she was wearing up more, because it was too big on her. His 'smile' took on the characteristics of his famous smirk as he stood up, stretching his body and shaking his head at once. 

"Let's go." 

*

Her fist landed in his face again and again, shocking blows that repeated with angry succession. Her vision was blurred by watery eyes as she continued to swing, throwing her weight into every punch. She grunted when they landed on him and she grunted when they missed. Finally, Vegita stepped back and threw his hand up, catching her small fist in his palm and holding her still with his strength. 

"Calm down." He commanded, his voice teetering between great anger and great amusement. "I won't fight you until you calm down."

"Stop being so self-righteous." She huffed shifting her body weight and slamming her other fist into his side. He moved, but only slightly, before he grabbed that hand as well, shoving her back, his brows furrowed as he did so. 

"You're useless unless you harness your anger and use it with you. You're fighting blindly and it's wasting my time. Calm down or go home." 

"Just. Fight. Back." She threw her weight into him each time she said a word, pushing her body against his palms in an effort to get him to let her go. 

"Not until you calm down." His look was stern as he assessed her, trying hard to figure out exactly what the problem was. Pan stared into his face, nostrils flaring, demanding with her eyes that he try and calm her. Daring. After a staring contest - that he won - he snorted and dropped her hands, letting her sink to the floor in agony. 

Her breathing was heavy and coming out in shattered pants that she couldn't control. Sweat toppled from her forehead and cascaded down her T-shirt as if she'd just run around the world six times instead of throw a few measly punches into a man's chest that was as hard as a brick wall. She sniffed and lowered her head, as if ashamed of something, before looking back at him, her eyes searching. When she realized his gaze was questioning, that he wanted to know what had her so fired up, she said the only thing she could think of. "I hate him!" With more fervent anger than she ever knew she could muster. 

"No you don't." He said softly, as if he understood everything now. As if he knew _exactly _who she meant and why she 'meant' it. And more than likely, he did. He'd always known everything. Always known how she was feeling. And why. Sometimes before she did. He held this eerie air about him that had only been matched by her grandfather, who wasn't there to help her anymore. And for the second time this night, she wasn't sure who she hated - but Vegita seemed to be sure. 

"You love him." It was a statement, not a question. Said in a way that suggested he was very disgusted by the mere _thought_ of it. And then he added, quietly, as though he were the only one meant to hear it, "And he loves you." 

"No he doesn't." She responded automatically, snappier than she'd meant to be. "He doesn't and he told me so." She shook her head with venom, not even allowing the thoughts he tempted to implant in her head to travel through her brain. 

"He knows nothing." Vegita snorted, adjusting his shirt and turning around, obviously bored of her pity party. 

"Maybe. But he was pretty sure about _that_." She responded automatically, more to herself than him, anger still searing through her as she blinked back the red her eyes were seeing. 

"He knows nothing." Vegita repeated, shaking his head as he exited. 

She sat, shocked, for a few minutes. Her mouth was slightly open as she considered him, knowing what he'd just said was a big deal. For him to have repeated something, _anything_ she knew it had to be very important. But it couldn't be true. Trunks had _said_ he wasn't in love with her and he was in control of his own feelings. He knew how he felt better than anyone else - certainly better than Vegita. So how was he supposed to tell her what Trunks felt? It wasn't possible. And it didn't matter. 

Even if Trunks did love her, and came professing that undying love to her on bended knee, she'd never fall into his arms now. It was too late for that. How could he expect her to respond regally to his offer of a phony marriage? He was taking something that was supposed to be sacred between two people and devaluing it so that it was nothing more than a whole bunch of legal papers that signified a lifetime punishment. And it was insulting to the entire institution of marriage. 

The least he could have done would be to _try _and love her. But he didn't even put up any effort. He didn't even _pretend _to put up effort. He just said, 'hey, let me be your friend forever'. So what happened when he fell in love with someone else? Or when he met some beautiful girl that he'd rather be 'friends' with? What then? And what if _she _met someone who loved her more than life? What if she woke up every morning and hated where she was and who she was with? Hated that he could never love her and she'd tried so hard for so long? What if she married him on the pretence that he would fall in love with her one day and he never did?

What if she didn't?…

No. Listening to Vegita on the matter of his son's heart wasn't something that she could trust right now. Right now it was too important that she got things right the first time. Right now she couldn't take any chances. And marrying Trunks would be a chance too big to correct if it wound up being a mistake. But maybe, if she waited and played her cards right, he would fall in love with her the regular way. And then they could get married and have a large family and live happily ever after. 

And maybe a snowball stood a chance in hell. Maybe pigs would learn how to fly. Maybe Goku would show up on her doorstep in the morning wearing a bright grin and acting as if he'd never been gone. 

Then again. Maybe not.

What if she didn't do this and wound up regretting it for the rest of her life? What if she and Trunks grew old and were still alone, with nothing, no one? Who's fault would that be? If they were miserable when they could have had each other? What if this were the one road that would lead to her 'happily ever after'? What if she was _supposed _to do this - if Fate were sending her some kind of hint…What then? She had no answers and a million questions and it was so frustrating that she almost wanted to cry again. 

"I'm going home." She told no one as she stood up and rolled her shoulders. She heaved a sigh and then walked out of the gravity room the same way she'd come.

  
*

She hid in her room for nearly two whole weeks before anyone came with the pretense of 'rescuing' her. And her blessed hero just so happened to be the blue haired beauty herself, Bra. The girl made a point of shoving Pan aside and invading her room, going through her personal space, and snooping until Pan couldn't take it anymore. 

"What do you want, Bra?" She asked with aggravation, raking her fingers through midnight strands while trying to maintain calm. 

"I want to know what's gotten into you Pan. I know you came to capsule a while ago and picked a fight with Dad. And then I know I didn't see you again. What I don't know is why." 

"When did you see me? It was late, Bra." She skillfully avoided answering the question. Subtly, not exactly changing the subject.

"It wasn't that late, Pan. I don't go to sleep until three anyways." For a moment Pan stared at her blankly, blinking and lifting her eyebrows as if Bra had said something incredibly stupid. And, in Pan's mind, she had. Who stays up until three o'clock in the morning every night? And why? Pan shook the thought away as Bra gave her a very dirty look.

"You're just trying to avoid telling me what I want to know, aren't you?" Bra narrowed her eyes at Pan, hands on hips. 

"You caught me Bra. I'm trying to avoid explaining what _really _happened two weeks ago. It's so juicy you'll never guess." Her voice was flat, as if sarcastic, but held a little intrigue so that she could be sure Bra would bite.

"Well, tell me then. And don't skip a detail. And be honest." Bra said the last part as a warning, narrowing her eyes and giving Pan a detailed stare down.

"I'm not afraid of you Bra." The older girl stated, keeping her voice even and her figure static. 

"That's besides the point, Pan. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. The quicker you tell me the sooner I'm gone." The girl had a point. Pan could just tell her and she'd leave - it's not like she'd believe it anyway.

"Okay, you caught me. Two weeks ago your brother asked me to marry him and I'm dealing with the indecision right now." Her tone was deadly serious and for a second Bra stood there, staring at her blankly. And then she burst into uncontrollable laughter. 

"If you didn't want me to know Pan," She started between gasps. "That's all you had to say." 

"Well I don't want you to know." Pan shrugged, her eyes never loosing their luster and Bra's laughter quickly died away. She was obviously having a thought. She pivoted on her heel quickly, swinging around with a gasp. Her eyes landed somewhere near Pan's nightstand and her hands flung up to her mouth in what appeared to be disbelief. 

"Dende!" She exclaimed. "I don't _believe _this!" She broke into a run before Pan could gather what it was she didn't believe and what it was she was looking at. Past Pan, out the door, down the stairs and then there was no sound. Pan tilted her head, confused, before she followed where Bra's eyes had gone and her own expanded in horror.

"No!" She shrieked, running out of her room as well. "Bra, wait! You've got the wrong idea completely. You're so off base it's not even funny!" She was down the stairs in a split second, heart pounding, muttering swears under her breath. "_I _don't believe this."

She was halfway down the street by the time she caught up with Bra, who seemed to have completely forgotten that her air car was capsuled in her pocket. Pan reached out frantically and grabbed the demi-saiyan's arm, yanking her back with as little force as possible considering the situation. "Where are you going?" She panted out, not really tired from the run but more from panic. 

"I've got to tell-" Bra cut off abruptly, seeming to just realize who she was talking to. "I mean, I've got to _ask _Trunks if it's true…"

"You've got to tell _who_, Bra?" Pan dared, her eyes glinting dangerously with unspoken threats. 

"I corrected myself. I meant, I had to ask Trunks. Not tell him, of course. Why would I say-" She stopped herself, seeing that Pan wasn't going to bite and beginning to become aware of the fact that she was babbling. 

"Who are you planning to tell that little lie to, Bra?" She asked again, more menacing than before, eyes now screaming murder. Her grip became tighter on Bra's arm, until the younger girl scrunched her face from the pain and shrank back. 

"I wasn't going to-" When Pan's grip got tighter she cut off all speech. "Pan," She tried again. "I saw the ring, there's no point in pretending like it's not true now."

"No Bra. You saw a _box_. You have no idea what's in that box or who gave it to me for that matter. You don't even know if it's mine. Maybe, _just maybe_, Trunks gave me that ring because he didn't want to be reminded of Marron when he found out she and Goten were engaged." Her tone was icy as she spoke, anger seeping through her words and burning the atmosphere like acid. 

"Oh." Bra replied lamely, her shoulders dropping as she yanked her arm out of Pan's grasp. Then, as quickly as her shoulders fell, they came back up again and she was shaking her head. "You little liar." Her eyes were lighting with excitement. "Not only is the box in your room a silver-blue color and Marron's ring box was just silver, but Mom's got Marron's ring. Trunks left it at capsule when Marron left him."

"I am not a liar. I said maybe. As in, you should mind your own business. But since you're so noisy, and I can't seem to quell that curiosity, I guess I'll have to explain my personal life to you." She sounded rather grumpy as she announced this, shaking her head and still staring at the girl with malice. "Let's go." She grabbed Bra's arm again, pulling her back towards the house.

"Where are we going?" Bra was hesitant to ask anything else, noticing how incredibly nasty Pan was being, and she hadn't been so rude in months. Not to mention, Bra was sure she'd have a bruise on her arm tomorrow and she was not looking forward to seeing it there.

"Back to my room. So you can see the ring."

"So there is a ring?" The excitement was back in her voice now as she eyed Pan with raised eyebrows. "I knew it. Oh, this is so good." She was smiling pleasantly as Pan tightened her grip, feeling her blood boil because Bra was so interested. 

She wasn't even sure why it upset her so much. It shouldn't have. Bra had always been a busy body, and she was perfectly on target this time. But maybe that was just it. Bra was right. For once there was juicy gossip and Pan was right in the middle of it. And she wasn't really sure what to do about it. She had never been the center of attention unless she was being laughed at, when it came to girls like Bra and Marron. Not saying Bra was horrible person, because she wasn't. But she was Bulma's daughter and certain personality traits did rub off. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

And Bra was always in everyone's business. Not to mention, being Vegita's daughter, she was shrewd about it. She didn't care who's feelings she hurt because, in her mind, any one person should be strong enough to handle anything that came against them. This wasn't a personal slight against Bra at all, in fact, it was part of what made her charming. But it was also what made Pan angry. Bra always had a way of pointing out the one thing that everyone else had the tact not to say and putting it on the table. She'd been the only person to ever say anything when she thought Pan had feelings for Trunks, and it was right in Trunks' face. She'd even been so bold as to tell Trunks to just screw Marron and get it over with when they were going through their 'sexual tension' phase right before dating. She was probably the one that shoved them together.

And now Bra was sticking her nose right where it didn't belong again. Into someone else's business. And she wasn't likely to forget this day anytime soon no matter what Pan told her in a few seconds. She was always going to be watching Trunks for any sign of interest now, and pointing out all the little things he did that made Bra believe he was or was not interested. She was going to apply her hawk-like observance to Pan and let the entire world know Pan was still in love with Trunks. And that wasn't going to fare over well after she told the man she wasn't going to marry him. That wouldn't do at all.

How would she explain that to him? 'I love you but I can't marry you' wouldn't work in a situation like that. No more than his 'you're everything to me, I want to marry you and take care of you, cherish you and adore you, but I don't love you' attitude worked in this one. He'd resent her just like she resented him and that was the last thing she wanted. 

There couldn't be any more strains to test her friendship with Trunks. Another storm, even a little one, would destroy them completely. She was more than sure of it. He was far more than she could take and there came a point where you just had to cut your losses. Sometimes people were more trouble than they were worth and, as much as she hated to lump Trunks in that category, he was vastly approaching.

She knew she couldn't cry over him again. She knew she couldn't continue to give and not get. She knew she couldn't look at him everyday and yearn for him to love her knowing that he never would. It was breaking parts of her heart she didn't know were there. She was surprised anything was left. And now this. Now Bra. Why did she have to deal with this?

When they'd made it to her room, Pan let go of Bra's arm and took a second to glare at her before she walked over to her nightstand and picked up the box. She held it in her hands for a second, staring down at it as if she'd never seen it before, and then heaved a heavy sigh, handing it over. 

"What are you giving it to me for?" Bra asked, while taking the ring. She didn't wait for an answer, simply took it upon herself to open the box and gaze at the contents. She gasped at what she saw, though she already knew a ring would be in there. "Pan. This is beautiful." 

"Exactly." Pan nodded, as if that explained everything.

"So. What does that solve? What does it prove? It looks expensive, and it's definitely an engagement ring, now I'm only more convinced it was Trunks."

"Bra." Pan started, tilting her head and widening her eyes as if the younger girl were completely daft. "Look at that ring. It's gorgeous. Do you think _your brother _could pick something like that out without a woman's help?"

"For you, Pan?" She asked, as if that mattered. Pan stared at her for a second, considering whether or not the girl were serious, and then, if she were sane. 

"What are you talking about Bra?" Pan tried again, exasperated with her attempts at understanding the girl. She'd rather it just be explained to her.

"It's obvious to anyone who has eyes, Pan. My brother's in love with you. I've been waiting for him to realize it. We all have." For some reason, Pan felt anger swell inside her again. She couldn't stop it. Her power flared and Bra stepped back, shocked. Pan's face contorted into something that wasn't quite so pretty as she shook her head, eyes watering from pure, unadulterated, rage.

Pan didn't know why, but something inside of her just snapped. She was so tired of everyone else telling her who was in love with her and what she should do. She had heard from _Trunks' mouth _that he wasn't in love with her. She had heard him say it, felt his heart rate as he spoke the words, looked into his eyes. She knew he wasn't lying. She knew he was earnest. And she knew he didn't want to be. He wanted to love her and she wanted him to but he couldn't. And what was with everyone suddenly throwing it in her face? Why was everyone in the Briefs' family taking it upon themselves to deal with Pan's love life? She was sure Bulma would have her hand in it if there were any indication given to her of what was going on. And Pan simply couldn't take it. Even the thought enraged her. Just considering made her want to destroy something. Hurt someone. She was mad enough to kill.

"What is wrong with you people?" She spoke, voice deadly soft as she stepped closer to Bra, eyes unblinking, she stared hard at the girl. "Why did you say that? What's wrong with you? And your father? And what do you mean, 'we all have'?" Her shoulders pushed up and then back down, the only indication that she was still alive, because the rest of her remained perfectly in her place, waiting.

"Pan…" Bra was at a lost for words. Her mouth went completely dry as she stared back at her, backing away a little and eyeing the door with longing. "Pan, listen to me, okay? Calm down. Please, Pan. Calm down." Bra fidgeted with her fingers, lowering her eyes and saying a silent prayer to Dende. She could _feel _the anger radiating off Pan and she knew this wasn't a good thing. She didn't know what she did, or what she said to enrage the girl so completely, but she desperately wished she could take the words back. Her heart pumped furiously in her chest as blood flooded in her veins. She was sure, for a second, that she stopped breathing as she looked into Pan's eyes. Or the air ran away from her. Everything was hot and she was very scared. She swallowed hard again, feeling like she'd just inhaled a bag filled with sand and she could no longer inhale and exhale properly. She bit her lip and tilted her head to the side, observing Pan's still stance, the way she eyed her with venom, and maneuvering her hands in what she hoped was a peaceful manner. They were shaking as she tried to speak again. "Please," was all she could get out before Pan advanced on her.

"Answer my question, Bra!" The girl snapped quite loudly, making the glass in her window give a slow, creaky wail of protest as it nearly cracked in half. Bra shut her eyes, as if she'd just been impacted with Pan's fist, and she drew in a shaky breath. She opened her eyes slowly, giving off the impression of an abused child who'd just done something they knew was wrong. 

"Pan," Her voice came out as a whimper of pleading and it was then that Pan's anger broke. That her power relaxed and she regained her sanity. It was then that she caved at the knees and fell into a helpless wreck on the floor. Her eyes had flashed a golden hue of green before she dropped, unconscious on the hardwood.

It was a frantic, but annoyingly familiar voice that pulled her into the light and forced her to open her eyes. She blinked groggily, waiting for the room to snap into focus and stop being four different places at once, before she realized that she was in capsule. And there were three heads staring over her. Two of them with incredibly concerned faces. Briefly, she noted she was wet, but paid little attention to that small detail as she tried to regain her memory and come up with a probable explanation for being here with two pairs of blue eyes and one pair of dark brown staring at her as if she were dead.

"Are you all right, Pan?" This was Bra, frantic as she wrung her hands through each other nervously. "Do you know who am I? Can you see me clearly?"

"She's not dim-witted." Vegita replied, semi-annoyed with his daughter. This in itself was a rare occurrence, Bra was his little princess. Now Pan knew something was wrong. Vegita was even snapping at his daughter.

"What happened?" She asked, trying to pull her body into a sitting position but unable to move.

"Don't do that, honey." This was the other one with blue eyes, Bulma. The same voice that drew her out of her unconscious state. She distinctly remembered the high pitched wail the woman let out, and she scrunched her face at the thought. Bulma must have thought the movement was out of pain because she placed a gentle hand on Pan's shoulder and leaned in so close their noses were nearly touching.

"Are you all right?" She whispered, as if talking any louder would break whatever defense the young girl had built up.

"I think I'm fine." She finally answered, wrinkling her brow with confusion. "Why? What happened?" She groaned as she managed to push her body up, successfully moving Bulma out of the way in the process.

"That's good. Good." Bulma nodded, shaking her head at the girl's stubborn demeanor. "But I want you to lay down, Pan. You shouldn't be getting up just yet." Her eyes held some kind of ominous warning that sent shivers through Pan's body. What sort of horrible thing happened to her that she couldn't remember?

"She's fine." Vegita protested as Pan lazily let her eyes slide to him. One glance and she knew nothing had gone wrong. She could see the pride in his face and it made her blush a slight red. 

"No she's not, Vegita." Bulma protested bitterly. "Look at her face, it's flushed! She's worn out and if she moves she's going to pass out again."

"She a saiyan!" He announced as if it had never been spoken before. As if this were a new revelation and that should explain everything. Pan lifted her eyebrows because she'd never heard Vegita speak to Bulma in such a trying manner and she never expected it. Clearly, Bulma was thinking along the same lines for she shut her mouth tightly and crossed her arms, holding them firmly at her chest with pent up anger.

"Well. If you know everything then you don't need my opinion." She was huffy and even Pan could tell that he should backtrack, make her feel better in some way. Let her have her own way. But he didn't relent, instead he smiled evilly - a real smile, not a smirk - and nodded his head. 

"Now you're getting it, woman." Bulma's eyes got as big as saucers as she drew in a deep breath and let it out again. She narrowed her eyes, glaring at him, not blinking or moving, just standing there for a long time. He smirked and her nostrils flared. 

"I am too through with you right now, Vegita!" She threw up her hands and walked out of the room, still yelling and ranting as she went. "Do whatever you want then. Haul the girl up by her hair. Make her do a thousand push-ups and wait until she breaks into an even heavier sweat! Force her to do warm-ups and practice exercises until she can transform completely!" Her voice faded away after that and it became clear that she was a long way away, but brief snippets could still be heard of her rant. She was an incredibly loud woman. 

"Transform completely?" Pan asked, catching on quickly and so shocked that she could feel her lips go chap from the thought of it. "Do you mean…?"

"That's _exactly _what she means." Vegita smirked proudly, nodding his head and being uncharacteristically social about the situation. He wasn't smiling or anything of the sort, but his arms were uncrossed and there was glint in his eyes that made Pan want to blush again. She'd never seen someone look at her and have that much honor in their face. Not even her father. And especially not Vegita.

"What's wrong with Mom?" She heard another familiar voice say at the doorway as she slowly turned her head, heart thudding in her chest. To be honest, she couldn't decipher whether it was because she'd just learned that she nearly went super or because Trunks was standing there, looking at her as if nothing were different and yet, as if nothing were the same.

How could he pull that look off. How could he pull off such handsome features? How was it that he managed to stop her heart every time he smiled at her in that certain way? And why was it that right now all she could think about was his proposal and her desire for him to mean it with all his heart? For crying out loud, she'd nearly achieved what she'd thought was impossible for so long. They all told her to give up the notion. That she couldn't go super - that she could be as strong as a super saiyan but never make the transformation. They'd all told her that she didn't have enough saiyan blood to pull it off. That no matter how much fight was in her, she'd never be able to do it. And they were all wrong.

She almost did it. But a lingering voice in the back of her head told her that 'almost' didn't even come close to counting. And, at the same time, she wasn't even concentrating on any of that. Only the way her stomach turned when he titled his head to the side and his hair flopped into his eyes like that. She wanted, more than anything she could think of wanting thus far in her life, to brush that hair away from his face. Her fingers were burning. And this was insane.

Why was it that her feelings for him increased every time she thought of marrying him? When she knew it was a sham? What was wrong with her? She was filled with far too many questions and definitely no answers. And this wasn't a good thing. 

"Pan almost went super." Bra announced, the same proud smirk on her face that Vegita was wearing. It was as if _she'd _done it, she looked so happy about it.

"What?" He cried out in shock, grabbing his heart and then letting out a heavy sigh. He ran to the bed she was lying on, leaning over her, pure concern in his face. "What the hell were you thinking? Are you all right?" There was a flash of anger but it was overshadowed by panic as he gently lowered his hand and stroked her face, brows furrowed with confusion. "Pan, are you all right?"

It wasn't until he repeated the question that she realized she was laying with her head on the pillow, eyes closed, relishing in his touch. She hadn't answered his question and she wasn't aware of how much time had gone by. What was the question again? Oh, yes, was she all right?

"I'm fine, sweetheart." She nodded, smiling faintly before closing her eyes again and letting her head lay limp on the pillow. "What's your problem, anyway?" That took a moment because she'd just come to realize that he asked her what she'd 'been thinking'. "It's not like I woke up this morning and said, 'hey, why don't I go super-saiyan and see who I can scare the hell out of.' Geesh."

"Well don't do it again. Look at you, you're not fine." She opened her eyes slowly, just in time to see the deepened frown on his face as he observed her, before shutting them again. "You're sweating enough to overflow rivers and you can't hold your eyes open." He sounded like he was scolding a four year old who just had to play in the dirt and track it through the house. "Look at me Pan. Open your eyes and look at me."

Begrudgingly she opened her eyes, very slowly mind you, and stared at him. Her vision was slightly blurry and looking at him was beginning to make her nauseous - but not in the way she used to be around him - and briefly she wondered if she was going to pass out.

"Don't _ever _do that again." His eyes held a warning in them that told her exactly what would happen should she choose to ignore his command. But it wasn't like this was something she could control. Who was he to tell her what she couldn't do anyway?

"You're foolish boy. She's got to practice it to control and master the urge. She can't just shove it down and forget about it."

"Father, I'm not going to let her put herself in danger like that. She _can _fight the urge, she knows how to control her anger. She's a grown woman and she's _not _going to do that again." They were staring at each other, both of them saying menacing things through the silence, until - to both Pan and Bra's surprise - _Vegita _looked away.

"Who are you to tell me what to do, Trunks?" Pan managed, anger souring slightly before she shut her eyes again. Suddenly everything was too bright, her eyelids were too heavy, and the pain was too sharp. "You don't control me." She continued on despite. "It's not like you care if I live or die except that would mean you'd be alone." Her voice was groggy and fading away quickly, so badly that he could barely make out the words.

"Pan, love, stop talking. Preserve your energy. And you know that's not true." He managed to shove in that little reprimand before her world got too heavy and everything swerved out of focus again.

"She knows." Bulma said, now standing at the doorway again and gazing at her son as he cared for the quarter-saiyan. "She's just delirious right now. That's why she's sweating. Too much stress to her system, she couldn't handle it all. Most of the kinks should work their way out in a few hours. Trunks, why don't you take her home with you and watch over her for the rest of the day? Neither Gohan nor Videl are able to do it if at all possible, they have affairs to attend to with business, and it would be much easier that way." Her eyes glinted with something only her husband caught, but he pursed his lips together, snorted and turned away from them, crossing his arms in the process. 

"Yeah. But do you think it's wise to move her? Maybe she should just stay here." He glanced worriedly from his mother back to Pan, eyes alight with some kind of unseen pain.

"If you didn't have the time that's all you had to say." Bulma snapped, knowing full well that's not what her son had meant at all. 

"No, Mom, that's not it. I mean, I'm not leaving her here alone. I'm not _leaving_." He fumbled for a way to explain himself and fight the blush that was close to rising in his cheeks. "What I meant was, maybe I should look after her while she's here."

"Excuses. Fine, don't move her and sneak out of here the second you get the chance. See if I care. But I'd feel so much better if I _knew _you were watching over her."

"Mom." He sighed, exasperated. "Can I move her or not?" Bulma smirked, very Vegita-like, and nodded her head. Her eyes were still holding that dangerous glow and now even the younger Brief was catching on. She laughed softly to herself and threw something at Trunks, yelling heads up on her way out the door.

He caught it, slightly baffled and studied it for a moment. It was a ring box. He'd worry about that later. He shoved it into his pocket and gently lifted Pan up, eyeing his mother and father as he carried the young girl out of the room. When he was a safe distance away, Vegita couldn't help himself and just had to tease.

"Gohan and Videl have business affairs to attend to after you told them their only child had almost turned super saiyan and was now deliriously sweating her life away?" His eyebrow quirked but his voice remained even as he questioned her. 

"Of course not. I told them Pan was feeling slightly under the weather and wanted to stay with us but we were sending her with Trunks instead." She winked at her husband, sauntering out of the room with a dignified shake to her hips. He shook his head, smirking again and muttering 'woman' under his breath.  
  
A/N: So, I hoped you liked this chapter. It was like pulling teeth to get this out. I tried my best, honest you guys. Thank you so much for your devotion and your patience and I would really appreciate it if you'd leave a review to tell me what you thought. I am brining you the next update as fast as humanly possible, under all my circumstances. But I promise it won't take as long as this one did. Nothing will if I can help it. Now, it's really late so I'm going to bed. 


	15. Trial and Error

  
**Disclaimer:** If I owned it I wouldn't be on fan fiction. Come on people, use your heads. The song that's in italics all through this chapter belongs to Kelly Clarkson (making it's second appearance) - The Trouble with Love is.  
A/N: I don't really have much to say, Author responses at the end. Thanks for your reviews and your support, I love you guys! I'm done…

Trial and Error

His scent filled her senses before she was even fully awake, making her turn over and bury her head in the pillow she was laying on, a small smile pressed onto her lips. A soft moan spilled out of her throat, one of familiarity, and she knew with certainty that he was somewhere near. Or, at least, he had been. Her eyes opened slowly, blearily blinking the world into place, her smile still lingering. There was a memory dancing on the brink of her brain that she knew was pleasant but couldn't quite remember. She tried to hold on to it but it was like trying to keep water imprisoned between the curled fingers of your hands, and slipped away all too quickly.

Very abruptly she was aware that her surroundings were different. She wasn't in her room and she didn't know where she was. Her eyes searched, almost frantically, for some sign of life - some symbol that made her recognize at least where she was, if not why she was there - but found nothing immediately. Her eyes shut heavily and she found it very hard to stay conscious all of a sudden, her breathing increasing and her chest heaving as if she weighed three times what she knew she did. And it had nothing to do with not knowing where she was. 

Almost out of nowhere, a feeling of nausea rushed over her that she couldn't fight back and she struggled to get to the edge of the bed. Her first thought was to get up and get to a bathroom somewhere, but there was no time - her insides heaved upwards, out of her throat and onto whatever was below her. She managed to open her eyes and spot that she had, by some odd chance of luck, made it into a trash can, and smiled faintly at that. She groaned, still feeling upset enough to retch again, and let her head fall heavily on the pillowed, queen size bed.

Her eyes slammed shut again and this time a smell wafted over her with such force that she grabbed her stomach because it gave way to violent lurching. Only now it was with butterflies and not nausea. She could smell Trunks but that wasn't an unusual thing. There were days when she would stop what she was doing because suddenly his smell would creep up on her and she knew she was remembering something about him but she couldn't think of what. It filled her senses with odd sensations and made her stomach turn in rhythmic ways. And now was not a good time to be 'one of those times'.

She felt sicker than she ever had in her entire life. Like she'd just been run over by a whole fleet of trucks. Her head was pounding so roughly she could nearly envision the beat and every time she opened her eyes the world would get darker and lighter according to it. She'd never really grown up with infections and viruses the way regular humans do, but if she could relate this feeling with anything she'd match it up with the horror stories she'd heard about the flu. 

Her body convulsed and broke into such a fit of shivers that it made her lips tremble and her teeth clatter against each other. But she could feel beats of sweat trickling down her forehead and she knew this wasn't turning out to be a very good thing at all. She grabbed the covers and pulled them closely around her, burying her head as low as it would go and scrunching her body up to reserve all the heat there was - to stop it from escaping. But, almost immediately, heat rushed over her and the shivers stopped. Her face flushed and she felt as if she'd just stepped into a furnace. She threw the covers off of her with brutal force, fanning herself frantically and frowning as to why this was happening. She'd never had hot/cold flashes before and she had always thought stories of them were incredibly amusing. She assumed that whoever was telling them was being a drama queen. Now she knew how serious it was. 

And she wanted to hurl again. 

"Oh." She let out a small cry in agony, feeling like she was walking in hell. Still fanning herself with abandon. Her brow was wrinkled and she was breathing heavily again, like a dying man searching for some air. "Oh." She repeated. A long, drawn out cry of pain that was loud enough to echo off the bare walls of the room. "Make it stop." 

"In a couple of hours, love." She linked the voice and smell together before she forced her eyes open to gaze his face. He was smiling but there were worry lines under his eyes, eyes that had dark rings around them, suggesting that he hadn't been to sleep. 

"Trunks." She smiled, stating the obvious as if it were amazing. Then her face creased, her eyes becoming heavy enough to close again. "Where am I?"

"My house." The way he said it made it seem as if she should have known. There was a question in his tone, one that was silently asking 'don't you remember?'. But should she? It wasn't like she'd visited this place so many times that it was etched in her brain, her defenses argued even in their weakened state. 

"What happened to me?" This question came slower and it was clear it took more effort to conjure up the words. 

"You did something that you will never do again. Right?" His tone was warning and she briefly remembered hearing it like that sometime earlier. But she couldn't recall why. And she couldn't recall when.

"I don't know. What'd I do?" Her lip quirked even as she spoke it; though her side was aching in a way that made her want to curl into a fetal position and die, she still managed to be playful.

"You lost control and got too angry. You're not going to do that again, now, are you?" He sounded like was scolding a four year old. 

"If I were your girlfriend you'd talk to me with a little more respect - pride. And not treat me like such a child." She pouted, rolling over so that her face was buried in his pillow. Now she remembered what she did and she was angry by his attitude. Vegita had been proud. Hell, even Bra had been proud. And he was treating her as if she'd just stolen someone's car and driven without a license. It wasn't fair. If she were someone of importance in his life, he'd be proud and not annoyed. 

His jaw fell slack, mouth hanging open in shock. He clinched his fists a couple of times and bit down on his jaw, trying to calm himself. He had to remind himself that she was half-delirious and she didn't really mean that. But then, he had to think, maybe she did. Maybe now she was saying the things she wanted to say but couldn't in her normal state. Maybe she really thought he'd care more for her if she were some kind of romantic symbol instead of who she was. Didn't she know that without her he'd completely fade into nothingness? And if she didn't why the hell was she so blind?

"Pan if you were my girlfriend I would have probably spanked you." He finally managed to answer, letting her know that he'd be just as upset either way and that what she did wasn't a call for pride but caution. She was putting her life at risk here and it wasn't time to throw a party. She was quarter-saiyan and she wasn't meant to go super. There was a reason she never had. He crossed his arms firmly before becoming baffled by her laughter, giggles that were being stifled by his pillow.

"Trunks, I didn't know you liked the bondage thing." Her head titled on the pillow and she looked up at him, his smirk placed perfectly on her face. Her eyes were shinning and she looked worlds better than she had before. A small blush rose up the sides of his neck and spread to his cheeks, but it had less to do with her comment or assumption and more to do with the brief, naughty, thought of her that had just filled his head. It wasn't entirely his fault - she was laying in _his _bed talking about bondage…

"Haha, Pan." He managed after a moment, shifting uncomfortably and trying to clear his head of _everything _that had just been in it. Hadn't he said he wasn't going to think of Pan as sexy? But that was before he asked her to marry him - so it was all right now…wasn't it? He cleared his throat and moved into the room, coming by the side of the bed and staring down at her. 

She hadn't mentioned the proposal and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. What was she thinking and feeling? He wasn't sure he even wanted to know. After she left he had time to think over the way things happened and decided they could have been a lot better. He'd concentrated so hard on telling her all the reasons she shouldn't marry him that he hadn't been very convincing with the reasons she should. He should have dwelled less on the love part. He loved her, he knew, just not the right way. And it wasn't what she was expecting or wanting and he never wanted to come short. He wanted things to be open and honest from the beginning.

But now he was afraid that she thought he didn't care for her at all. And that was the farthest thing from the truth. Why else would he want to spend the rest of his life with her - if he didn't care for her? But genuine affection wasn't love. And now he wasn't sure if he even knew what love was. It was crazy and he kept debating it with himself. He could tell her he loved her but she'd see through it quicker than ice cream melted in July. And he'd already told her that he wouldn't. So maybe the best thing would be to wait and see what happened. But maybe he should explain more. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, staring intently at her as she watched him quizzically. The smile had faded from her lips and he could see the circles around her eyes that were darker than the rest of her skin. She was tired. She'd just spent hours sleeping and she was still tired. He stuck his hand out, gently caressing her face with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes, curling her lips faintly into a smile. He felt his body moving in before his brain caught what was happening and he had to literally force himself to move back. He was about to kiss this girl, and he discovered that it was harder not to than it was to just lean in a do it. When had that happened, he wondered. 

"What are you thinking?" She asked, eyes still closed, voice far away. 

"I wanted to kiss you." He supplied, not really thinking about it before he said it. He nearly winced as he realized the words were spoken aloud but he fought the urge. She drew her face into a confused sort of frown before she responded. 

"Why?" As if no one should ever want to kiss her.

"Because you're beautiful." He spoke intentionally this time, thinking it was about time she heard it. His voice was soft, caressing as he told her, his face slightly closer to hers. He smiled as her 'frown' deepened and placed a kiss on the side of her cheek instead of his intended destination. He was willing to settle for less. 

"Where are my parents?" She asked as if they weren't in the middle of a conversation.

"Something with business, I believe." His breath tickled her skin because he still hadn't moved from his spot next to her.

"Oh." And after a moments pause, "Well, where's Mom?" At this he moved back, examining her face to see if she were even half aware of where she was. What did she mean, where's mom? She asked where her parents were, he told her.

"With your dad." He stated, slowly as if she were really daft.

"That's funny, Trunks." She shook her head, letting a few of her teeth show in what she assumed was a smile. "You know better." 

"I'm sorry?" He asked, this time feeling like he was the one who was daft.

"Mom _and _Dad? And business? Yeah, right." And then her meaning hit him. Videl didn't work with Gohan. Videl didn't work. She used to help Gohan with paper work but that was in the early years of their marriage - she absolutely hated the stuff. So, wherever Gohan was 'working', Videl certainly was not. But his mother had said…Yes, his _mother_. Of course that's what she said.

"Right, well I don't know but I'm sure Bulma has everything all worked out." He finally told her, sure she was more confused now than she had been in the beginning. 

"You know what…I think I really am out of it…" She shook her head, no longer trying to make sense of what he was saying. "I have a headache, Trunks. A really bad headache."

"I know, babe, I'm sorry. Rest and you'll feel better in a couple of hours. It'll all be gone in a couple of hours."

"Are you sure." She managed, her face still scrunched as if in great pain. 

"Do you want the truth or a lie?"

"A lie."

"Then I'm positive. Just a couple of hours and you'll feel better than new." With that she rolled over and immediately lost herself into a world of darkness.

  
*

He fingered the box idly, not sure exactly how he was supposed to feel. Pan never told him that she was going to marry Gabriel. And what kind of relationship did they have if it wasn't built on honesty. But that was just it … wasn't it? They didn't have a relationship. They had a _friendship_. And in a _friendship _she didn't have to tell him every aspect of her life. Especially not her love life. But even so…

When he was engaged to Marron she'd been the first one he told. Shouldn't she return the favor? Though maybe, his brain reasoned, there was never a time for her to tell him. He did have a huge fight with her and then they stopped talking for a while. And then Gabriel died. And the next time he and Pan talked they had done far too little talking and way too much of everything else. And then they weren't speaking again. So…maybe the fact that she didn't tell him really could be equated to slipping her mind or something just as simple.

Or maybe he was jumping to conclusions and there was nothing to tell. This might not even be Pan's ring. Maybe it was Bra's idea of a joke. Maybe, - and panic struck him for some unknown reason as he considered this but - maybe Pan told Bra what happened and they had a field day of it and Bra thought this was funny. Maybe everyone knew. He sighed dispersedly and dropped his head into his hands. 

If Pan thought it were such a joke to tell his entire family and make fun of him when he was offering his heart to her, maybe he didn't want to marry her after all. She couldn't be that evil. She couldn't think this was something to be toyed around with and joked about. He could tell that from the state in which she left his house. And she'd never do that to him. She'd never laugh at him behind his back and a make him the unawares core of a long time joke. She was far too sweet and innocent for that. Far too loving and trusting to be that cold and malicious. And he had no right to think about her in the manner that he was at the moment.

Pan had never proved herself not to be trustworthy. And even if she had made a laughing stock out of him in front of his entire family, he would have deserved it. He never seemed to do things right when it came to her. But this…This he was determined to do right. If she would give him the chance he would turn this into a miracle waiting to happen, instead of the debacle she must have thought it would be. If she'd let him, he'd find a way to make her happy. He wanted to.

Right now he wanted nothing more than to pull her body against his and hold her until she felt better. To rub her forehead and back and make sure that she was feeling okay. To press a cold towel to her head when she was hot and to warm her when she was cold, until it was all over and she felt like a new person. But he couldn't do that because he was stuck being the 'friend'. And if he wanted more … what did that mean?

Before he could contemplate that answer to the fullest extent he heard footsteps and then saw the face of the girl that seemed to be the topic of all his thoughts pop out from behind the door frame. "What are you doing up?" He asked softly, voice barely above a whisper as he cupped the ring box in his hand - not trying to hide it but not trying to draw attention to it either. 

"I had hoped I was delusional enough to have imagined that whole spew with your sister. She probably thinks we're having a roll in the hay right now." Pan grumbled, slapping her hand to her forehead with what Trunks hoped was overdramatic doom.

"What?" He asked tentatively, not wanting to relay his earlier feelings about her making a joke out of his heart. 

"Your sister thinks you propose to me and that's the ring you used." She stated dryly, not offering any more explanation than that, her voice a high pitch as if she were telling some kind of ridiculous tall-tale.

"Pan…I _did _propose to you." He stated, just to make sure she was aware.

"Damn. I was hoping that was an illusion too." She answered, moving into the living room and taking a seat on the couch next to him. 

"But I didn't give you this ring." He continued, ignoring her dry sarcasm, not much liking her tone. "Who did - if you don't mind my asking?"

"Well, I do mind your asking." She supplied, snatching the box from his grasp. "Who says it's even my ring?" She challenged, still using the same defense she did against Bra.

"The note on the inside of the box." He told her, speaking in a sarcastic manner that said he didn't appreciate her being a smart-aleck. But, as her face faltered, he realized that he might know something she didn't, and used it to his advantage. "Why didn't you tell me that you were going to marry him, Pan?" He questioned softly, pain etched into every syllable of his question.

"You never asked." She responded dryly, looking away from him because she didn't like the hurt she saw in his blue depths. "Where's this note?" She questioned after she'd opened the box and saw nothing of immediate interest - besides the ring, that is.

"Here, lift this." He answered, pulling the ring up and removing the top part of the inside of the ring box. Underneath, sure enough, was a small note that had words scribbled on it in Gabe's familiar scrawl. It said:

  
_Pan, make him love you._

Her world shattered and snapped into place in what seemed like the same second. Her face paled as she brought her hands to her lips, drawing in a sharp breath as she read the words again and again. "He didn't…" She mumbled, incoherent words falling from her lips as she shook her head from side to side. "I don't believe…" She lifted the note up to examine it, still shaking her head in disbelief. Underneath the note was a chain that matched the ring perfectly.

"What I don't understand - besides that note, that is - is why there's a necklace under this. I mean, what, did this guy expect you to say? No?" Trunks' voice was soft as he talked to her, cautious because he saw the unearthly shade of pale that she turned, and he reached out a hand for her to hold on to. She never grabbed it, instead she continued to stare numbly at the box, the paper, and the necklace until he was sure she'd pass out.

"Pan, look at me. Please." He tried again, almost desperately because it had been at least two minutes and she hadn't moved at all. She was just sitting there, looking void. Then her eyes snapped and she made connection with Trunks' face as she drew in a deep breath. Finally, her hands moved and drew the ring from Trunks' hand. She'd only ever opened the box a couple of times, and she'd had no idea there was anything more to it than a ring.

Quietly she laced the ring and the necklace together and hung it around her neck, fighting tears as she thought over what Gabe wanted her to do. What a ridiculous man he was. How could he ask her to do something that, in the end, he wasn't willing to do? He wasn't going to marry her at all. He had fully intended to come to her that day and … and what? Well, in all honesty she knew. Probably had always known. He was going to propose and she was going to turn him down. And he would have been expecting it. Then he would leave her the box to figure it out on her own. But now…

If Gabe were here would he tell her to marry Trunks? Without even thinking about the question she knew the answer. _He just did._

"Yes, Trunks." She finally said, nodding her head. After a heart stopping moment in which he thought she meant yes, she'd marry him, she continued. "That's _exactly _what he expected me to say."

He nodded his head, dropping his shoulders and squelching the hope that had risen in his stomach. "But you didn't. Did you?"

"No." They continued to speak in soft tones, never breaking eye contact with one another. "I didn't. I never got the chance."

"What?" She could hear the surprise, the bafflement in his voice.

"Gabriel got hit by a truck on his way to my house. To propose to me." She shut her eyes as if the words to painful, as if it killed her to speak them, and fought back the tears. "To propose to me so that I could turn him down. So that he could send me to you." Her voice shook as she said this, anger lacing her announcement just as much as pain.

"Because…Because you told him you loved me. Didn't you?" He spoke after a few moments of total silence that nothing in his house dared disturb.

"Yes."

"Marry me, Pan." He couldn't fight the words back. As much as he promised himself that he wouldn't ask her this right now. That he wouldn't do this today. He couldn't fight the words back. They just tumbled off his lips and into the air, without even thinking about them, they were said. His breathing had speeded and he found that his heart was pumping faster than it had in his life. He was vulnerable to her in this moment. She could make or break him and she probably had no idea.

"This is some sort of joke, isn't it?" She asked, shaking her head and standing up. Everything had just taken a turn from bad to worse and this was far too bad to be true. Her ex died while he was trying to send her to this man. A man she had loved all her life and could never have. Who was now throwing himself at her but there was a catch. Amidst the fine print were the words, clearly written, _not _yours to have, _not _yours to hold until death do you part. And she still couldn't have him. He would be hers in name only and she would be miserable. 

  
_Love can be a many splendid thing. Can't deny the joy it brings. A dozen roses, diamond rings. Dreams for sale and fairy tales…_

She would cry herself to sleep at night and she would dine alone in the evenings. But in between time, in public and in the spot light, she'd be a queen. She'd be damn near royalty. She'd be envied and revered and she would smile as if it were real. She could see her entire life already and she didn't have to live it. She couldn't do this. This wasn't an option. She was incredibly sorry Gabriel died in vain, but she _could not _sell her soul to the devil for half of a malfunctioning heart. She'd rather work with what she had and wonder what could have been for the rest of her life than take this man's hand and lie in a church. After all, wasn't that the exact reason she gave Marron for not being her maid of honor?

  
_It'll make you hear a symphony. And you just want the world to see. But like a drug that makes you blind, It'll fool ya every time…_

"That's it." She continued, nodding to herself. "This is a cruel joke that you started for your own sorted, sardonic amusement." She wasn't laughing, her face wasn't flushed, she didn't show any sign of losing control. Her voice was calm and even and it made him doubt for a moment - only for a moment - whether she was being serious or not. But he knew she couldn't possibly think this a trick and the thought that she so seriously said it was angered him a little. He was being sincere, in the most sincere of ways and she was calling him a liar. 

"Pan, this isn't a joke. It's not a game and I'd appreciate it if you'd answer my question." He responded evenly.

"Answer your question!" She repeated, turning on him quickly, eyes striking with more hate than he had ever seen directed at him before. Without further words from her he knew this wasn't going to be pretty. "How dare you? You thick-headed, self-involved, pompous asshole!" He winced. Her volume alone was enough to bring the house crumbling to it's knees. He was only one man - did he deserve all of this? He only wanted an answer. Not all this beating around the bush. He understood that she needed time to think, but he had given her time. And she seemed to have an answer - she was just unwilling to give it. If she was going to turn him down he at least wanted to hear her say the words. And he wanted it done quickly - like snatching off a band-aid. So that it hurt less. Though he wasn't sure a refusal of his heart could 'hurt less' it was worth a try. And at least he wouldn't be in this suspense.

"You forgot self-righteous, that seems to be a favorite. Oh, and you could have thrown in a good for nothing or a jerk somewhere for added effect. But I liked the 'asshole' bit, that hurt, Pan." He wanted her to realize how foolish this was and calm down. He wanted her to see that she was overreacting without keeping this fight in motion and the only way that he could think of doing that was to join in and bash _himself_. "Besides, you could have come up with some way more clever. Like, how just now, I never asked a question but just…sort of _demanded _that you marry me…"

She opened her mouth, face red and angry, fully ready to retort his smart-aleck attitude but before something else nasty could tumble from her lips she heard laughter and realized quickly that it was coming from her. She was laughing. This wasn't a laughing matter and she was laughing. Not only had he challenged her integrity and asked her to make her entire life a lie, but he had mocked her when she got upset about it and she was _laughing_. 

"Trunks," She started, after she'd gotten a hold of herself again. Her shoulders rose, as if she were about to make some long speech, but she dropped them again - seeming to give up. It was as if the words couldn't come to her. She tried again, opening her mouth to tell him how unfair he was being, but couldn't seem to force the thoughts to become spoken word. "Trunks," She drew in a deep breath and then let out a heavy sigh, frustrated with herself. "Darn it."

"Pan, just say what you're thinking. That's all I'm asking. Tell me how you feel about this. I know I made it seem like it'd be some kind of punishment, but I promise you it wouldn't. I told you I'd do my best to keep you happy and I honestly meant that. All I need you to do is say you'll marry me, Pan."

"You _want _me to marry you?" She asked after a second, drawing in another deep breath. He gave her a look that clearly asked her where she'd been through the entire conversation, and nodded his head up and down to confirm her question. 

"Of course I _want _you to. Why else would I have asked?"

"I don't know. You made it sound like some kind of chore…"

"I'm really sorry." He tried again. "I didn't mean it to be that way."

"Okay, listen Trunks. Marron came to me before she got married and asked me to be her maid of honor. And I told her no. Do you know why I said no, aside from the obvious, that is?"

"Enlighten me, Pan." He said, though he already knew where this was going.

"Because," She stretched the word out. " - And this is exactly what I told her. -Because I'd be lying in a church. Trunks I don't think you fully understand what you're asking me to do. You say that you'll make sure I'm happy and then you say you want to marry me but you're not in love with me. Do you realize how much of an oxymoron that is? It just doesn't work. It would never work. I'd always be miserable and you would hate me for letting you do this. One day," She paused, making sure their eyes were locked so that he could know she was completely serious.

"One day you're going to fall in love with someone who's going to smile and make your world snap into place. She's going to touch you and suddenly you'll feel calm. When she's around you'll feel complete and you won't wonder what you're missing in life. She'll make your head spin and she'll keep you on you toes. She'll be everything you were ever looking for and more.

"And I'll be in the way of that. And I don't want to be. I don't want to be the reason you're miserable and I don't want you to be the reason I am. We won't make it through that. If you married me and left me we wouldn't make it through. And if you married me and wanted to leave but stayed, you wouldn't be whole anymore. And I don't want to see that happen. I _won't _watch that happen."

"Pan, I've already had that girl. They'll never be another. The only one who's ever even come close beating out -"

"Trunks, set aside what happened with you and Marron for a minute and listen to me. This isn't going to work. Thank you, but no thank-you."

"I was going to say, the only one who's ever even come close to beating out what we have is Marron and I can't see that happening again." There was silence for a few moments as Pan stared at him. She looked lightheaded and sat back down on the couch, next to him again.

"You can't say things like that to me, Trunks." Her voice was cold and angry as she told him, soft but deadly at the same time. "You can't tell me things like that while expecting me to remember that you're _never going to love me_. Now tell me what that was supposed to mean? Marron came _close _to beating out what we have?"

"That's why she left, isn't it? Because even she felt like I cared more about you than I did her. Everybody does."

"So now you're blaming your failed relationship on me?" Her brow wrinkled as she asked, annoyed beyond belief.

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, even when I was with Marron I was with you. She didn't feel threatened for no reason, Pan. We're already closer than we have any right to be, and we both know it." She waited, wondering if there was more, and when there wasn't her eyes flashed again. 

"This is what I mean, Trunks. Right there. Right then. Any other couple would be pronouncing their undying love for one another and I get a 'we're closer than we have any right to be'? I want something more than that and it's clear that I'm not going to get it from you. I doubt we can do this. No, I know we can't."

"So that's your answer then? No?" His eyes glistened and she feared that he was about to fall apart while she sat on that couch. He couldn't really have expected her to accept such stupidity, could he?

"If it is no, what do we do? Where do we go from here?" Her heart was thumping loudly in her ears as she came to a decision. What was she thinking? Why were they even discussing this? If she were sane she'd get up out of this chair and walk out of his house. She'd turn away from him and never look back. If she were smart she shake her head and just politely walk out. This wasn't going to work and there was no way they'd piece things back together now. What did they have if they didn't have each other?

  
_The trouble with love is, It can tear you up inside. Make your heart believe a **lie** Is stronger than your **pride**…_

"What do we do, Trunks?" She repeated, when he didn't answer her. "Do we pretend this never happened, too?" At that his eyes became alert and he quickly shook his head, disbelief shaping his movements.

"No, Pan. You can't do that to me. We'll talk about it. We'll work it out. We'll sort through it but we _won't _pretend this didn't happen. You can ignore a lot of things in life, and I'll play along with it sometimes, but this isn't something that can be ignored. Whether you accept or not, I asked you to marry me and I'm not taking that back. It's not something that can simply 'not happen'. I meant it when I asked and whatever answer you're giving, you meant that when you said it. And it _did _happen." His voice was so genuine she couldn't help but smile as she nodded her head, sighing she looked away from him and threw one of her hands into her midnight pieces of hair. 

"I was just making sure you meant it before…" She stopped, unable to finish her sentence. Her voice caught in her throat and she closed her eyes roughly, trying to regain her courage. "Before I accepted."

  
_The trouble with love is, It doesn't care how fast you fall. And you can't refuse the call. See, you got no say at all…_

"Pan…" He couldn't speak for a second, so completely sure that he'd already been turned down that he wasn't positive he heard her right. "Are you saying you'll marry me?"

"Under these circumstances." She turned her body so that she was completely facing him, eyes as serious as she'd ever been in her life. 

"I'm listening." He nodded, turning to face her as well, anxious excitement drawn on his features. 

"This is a _real _marriage at home and in public. Aside from the love factor, we are a real married couple. That means if you're going to be late for dinner you call and check in. You don't see other women and we…we don't sleep in separate rooms." She paused to see if he picked up on her meaning. He nodded and she felt encouraged enough to continue. "I want a child one day and your image can't afford, neither will I allow, for me to be artificially inseminated." She couldn't believe she was saying this out loud. This was as bold as she'd ever been in her life. He nodded again.

"Hopefully it'll be a little more romantic than all that…" He stated blandly, quieting quickly so that she could continue. 

"I'm not going to indulge in childish fantasies about romance with you, Trunks." She gave him a scornful look before she continued, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. She noted that he opened his mouth to object, but she quickly resumed her speech. "I won't be demeaned in any way. I refuse to be disrespected and I'm not sitting in an empty house all day so that I can cry myself to sleep in the afternoon. I'm going to work if I want to work and I'm going to stay home if I want to stay home. I'll go to your business parties and I'll smile at your meetings but I won't be a trophy, Trunks. I expect to be treated with just as much reverence in private as in public. Just because you don't _love _me doesn't mean you don't have to hold true to every other one of your vows."

"All of that goes without saying Pan. I told you you'd be happy and I mean that." He told her, face wrinkled because she felt the need to lay that out for him. How could she honestly think he was planning to make her life miserable? That was never his purpose. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes. We don't tell people we're engaged right away. We pick a date, and if we make it to that date without any serious issues, _then _we get engaged. Should either of us change our minds before that date it's okay - like an easy out clause. It'll be like a trial basis, so that I can get a feel for what I'm in for. I'm not marrying you if I feel this won't work. And I have to be honest, I feel this won't work."

"But you're giving me a chance anyway. So, really, you're not accepting my proposal. Really, it's like we're dating…right?"

"Right." She nodded, feeling like she was giving the devil her soul.

"What's the date?" He asked quickly, eyes still excited though he realized that she was both uneasy and unhappy at the moment.

She thought for a moment and then smiled, supplying him with two words. "My birthday." He thought about that as well and then nodded. That was two months away. So that's all the time he had to convince her. To change her mind. He was going to do it if it killed him. And she'd be _happy_. He was sure of it.

"Pan," He started again, slowly, letting his eyes slide up her face and then back down it. "I'm going to kiss you in five seconds. If you have a problem with that feel free to move away at any time." He scooted closer to her on the chair, finding eye contact and never loosing it.

"Okay." She nodded, feeling incredibly nervous.

"Five." She sucked in what felt like all the breath surrounding her. "Four." He moved a little closer still. "Three." His head started to tilt, moving into her personal space. "Two." His voice dropped so that he was barely even speaking now. The one never came, their lips were pressed together before he got the word out.

  
_Every time I turn around, I think I've got it all figured out. The sad story always ends the same - Me standin' in the pourin' rain. It seems no matter what I do, It tears my heart in two…_

A/N: So, what'd you think. Pan suddenly changing her mind, was that too weird for you? ^_^ well, two months to prove his worth. The fun begins now. Yay! Uh…Review please, it makes me want to write more. 

Thanks and appreciation go out to:

BulmaPoisionusFood, Jezika, Miko-chan (sorry I couldn't update before you left), fluffy, kaya, DBZChicky501, PrInCeSs Of LiGhT, DBprincess116, Hanamaru285, werewolfpixie, angkat14, Morgause Nokami, Lady*Venom, pan son, spawn32818, Houser's girl, amy, ladybugg, Missa, reader, Aeris Deathscythe, Bunny, vintageskater, inima, nessie, RewZone, SaiyanPrincess77, Trunksdreamer, Nikki, Dbzfan550, serendy4evr, Rika-chan, KoreanChick, SilverDream, Yokiko Pan, Hiei Lover, AzNLiLSMaLLKirby, Chiisai Mizu, megamipan (that's quite a compliment, I'm not sure I deserve it), Rei Sakura Li, vegistie, T+P fan, Kimmi, Sengiri no Oujo, v-chan, Mistress Son Pan, Kawaii Luna, Kimberly, jussafan, and TeNshI nO Hi

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Incoherence- you did comment more than once to chapter 12. But I don't mind. The more the merrier, and now I'm merrier! … yesh, I'm sane … -shifty look- 

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Beji- I know how you feel about the Marron thing. I'm in love with Goten (though I write T/Ps ^_^ ) but I had to do something with her. :-/ thanks for the reviews. 

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Gecko- heh. You make me smile. I love your random reviews ^_^ thanks for reading my fic. Yesh! Did you know that scandalized is my favorite word? Of course you didn't. but it is. (sorry, you said 'scandal' in one of your reviews…o_o) Yes, Harry Potter was wonderful. I love JKR. She's a genius. And it cracked me up the way you summarized Pan's 'super-saiyan experience'. ^_^

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Pia Bartolini- I'm glad you translated that into simpler English. So many big words …my head started to hurt. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapters. Really I was scared you wouldn't like my little twist with the proposal. I'm glad you expected it. Oh, and I'm glad _you_ haven't abandoned _me_.

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Deidra- Oh, Pan was just being grumpy cause she stopped liking Marron. And I was probably in a silly mood when I wrote that. My writing usually reflects my mood. x_x

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Dark Anjel- I hope you're happy with Bra having a role in the 'why me' chapter. She's not really a big part of the story - I know, but I have so much else to do. -whines- 

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chibbi usago- no, they're **never** admitting their feelings and there **won't **be a happy ending! -maniacal laughter- I don't believe in 'em. *coughcoughcough* Uh…I mean… :-/ Trunks eventually tells Pan that he loves her - one day. *coughthelastchaptercough* o_o

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ShadowWind- -blushes- and amazing person, am I? You're too kind. No really, talking to you guys is fun. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing my chapter! If you're back I'm sorry that there wasn't much for you to read. I was kinda having a dry spell, among many other things. But I _love_ your long reviews. They make me smile. =)

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Animechick- It's never going to end! Bwahahahaha! … give me, like ten more chapters. Okay, maybe only eight. I'm serious. o_o At _least _eight.

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Camille- -isn't insulted- I'm glad you had something constructive to say. I'll try and keep what you said about events in mind. Sometimes I don't think - just write…no, _most _of the time I don't think…-shrug- thanks for the compliment though!

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TrunxChic- _Thank you_. I'm glad you feel things are realistic. It's my one goal in writing - to make the impossible seem like it could happen without the reader realizing how impossible it is. Not that I'm trying to be tricky … o.O 

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Bella- they will be happy. I'm too much of a romantic for them _not _to be happy. And the happiness starts soon. Don't worry.

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Caramel- would everybody stop wishing Trunks would realize he loves Pan? -pouts- it's so much more fun my way. -evil grin- uh…thanks for the review. ^_^

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BuGGzErS- you quoted me? -feels famous- thank-you. ^_^

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The Angry Black Woman- hehe. I love your name. For a second I thought I'd done something wrong. I'm glad my story kept you on your toes and thanks so much for the review. 

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YunaAngelofHell- _Of course_ I remember who you are. -is shocked- anyways, thanks for reviewing. ^_^

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black diamonds- I'm not the best writer on this site. You give me too much credit. Panabelle and Noseless are far better than me. And I'm sure there are more. But thanks for the compliment anyway, you know I love you. ^_^

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Hope-Poe26- I don't know if you know how much that comment means to me. But in case you don't, let me tell you: thanks a million because it meant the world. Things like that really brighten my day when I get into those moods where I wonder why I even bother writing. So _thank you_ for the review. 

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Newbie GK- I hope you're not too disappointed with the way I chose to do things…

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Ashley- Yes, she is a real character. Thanks for reviewing. 

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Eneri- I hope this chapter cleared things up for you. Bulma was just lying and Trunks was too preoccupied to catch it. But I'm glad you asked that question about the business - I was wondering if anyone would. Yes, I realize it came out of nowhere. 

A/N2: that took a really long time…x_x I've got two whole pages filled with reviewer thanks…Uh…thank you guys for your enthusiastic responses. Honestly. Anyway. You know the drill, if I left you out- yell. If I put you twice-yell. If I have a typo in your review just know I was trying to get the chapter out faster. You can yell about that too. Now I have an author story recommendation to do:

Read **Stargazing** it's a really good story. I don't understand why it only has, like less than 30 reviews for five chapters. I just read it yesterday. Good - it's not finished but I liked it. And Noseless Wonder is back and writing again. Go and read her stuff. _She's_ the best. I believe Panabelle updated too. Go and review **Grow up! **though I haven't yet. Okay, I'm done now. ^_^ don't forget to review me. (yesh, after all those thank-you's I'm still being greedy.)


	16. Rivers in Egypt

  
**Disclaimer:** Wait, let me check…nope, not mine.

  
A/N: I have a bone to pick with you people. How come no one wanted to tell me that lose was not spelled 'loose' I mean, hello. What good are you if you don't correct a mistake I kept making over and over (I know the difference, but when I type my fingers forget that there is one…)? If I make anymore mistakes repeatedly like that, you know, you could tell me. It wouldn't hurt my feelings - it'd only help me _not _to look like an idiot…

Rivers in Egypt

"Two." His voice dropped so that he was barely even speaking now. The 'one' never came, their lips were pressed together before he got the word out. He wasn't sure if he moved into her or if she moved closer to him, but either way, here they were. And the reaction was immediate. It hadn't dulled, it hadn't faded away. In fact, if it were possible, the electricity of the kiss was greater than the first they'd shared.

He moved closer still, and she tilted her head back so he would have better access. Their lips played with each other for a second before her mouth opened, allowing him, without coherence, to enter hers completely. But he didn't take the opportunity - he pulled away instead. Quickly. Recoiling as if she'd burnt his skin. His eyes danced between disbelief and nervous understanding for a second as he stared at her, neither of them speaking. 

Finally her voice broke the tension in the air, filled with venom and a slight bit of confusion. "What?" It was airy, as if she'd just exerted herself physically, and her eyes were lit as if waiting for him to trip and make just _one _mistake with his words.

"What do you mean, what?" He asked, trying to draw more air into his system. In all honesty, the room was spinning slightly and he was fighting to keep his balance. Which was silly because he was sitting down.

"Trunks, don't toy with me." She crossed her arms, lips still curved downward as she stared at him, studying his movements with hawk-like eyes. Analyzing him. 

Her hair was pulled back into one of the looses buns he'd ever seen her wear. Pieces were falling out of it in all directions. Her eyes were still dark around the outside of the lids and there were bags there. Her lips were their normal pink, but it looked pinker because of how pale her cheeks were. Or was it because he'd just kissed her? He didn't know but he did know she looked good like that. Too good. Arms crossed over her chest, tightening the wife beater that she was wearing so that it squeezed her curves pleasantly. Where his thoughts were heading wasn't exactly good at this particular time and place. 

Had they been anywhere else - in public or somewhere easily disrupted - he wouldn't have minded at all. But they weren't anywhere else. They were alone. In his house. With no one about to drop by. No one about to call. Because Bulma had arranged it that way, he was sure of it. And the thought made him swallow hard. He was just a man, after all, and if he had let that kiss continue it might not have stopped.

"I'm trying not to, Pan." He answered thickly, closing his eyes to fight off the line of thoughts invading him. Thoughts that were still lingering in his head, dancing around him in tempting circles of heat and desire.

"Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" She was on the brink of tears. And this was exactly why she said it wouldn't work. This very moment right here. He couldn't even stand to _look _at her! How was she supposed to marry a man that couldn't kiss her without wanting to retch? It was all fine and dandy when they were in his office and he was mourning over Marron. He could use her then. _Sure_. He could shut his eyes and pretend she was blonde with blue eyes. But now, when he knew who she was, he couldn't even kiss her without being sick to the stomach. He'd pulled away so fast she thought she might have hurt him. 

And it hurt to admit this to herself. Because she didn't know that much about kissing and she didn't have all that much experience with it. But how could someone make her feel like that - so jittery and weak - and not feel it back? Why was it that she was dizzy and at a lost for any semblance of self-control and he was completely unaffected by it? Except for the fact that kissing her seemed to be brutally painful and annoyingly hard to cope with…

She couldn't stand the tortured look in his eyes. The pain that was there. Drawing in his features and painting him in ways she never could imagine. Never wanted to imagine. She didn't want him to feel this way. And she definitely didn't want it to be because of her. Because of anything she'd done to him. Or didn't do. Why was he pushing himself to feel things for her that he never could? Why didn't he just give it up and leave her alone?

When he didn't respond she let out an exasperated breath of air and uncrossed her arms, a defeated look taking over her face. "Well I'm _sorry _I'm such a bad kisser," She was on the verge of a very loud torrent when she felt a rush of nausea wash over her that couldn't be ignored. Her face paled as she hopped off the couch and ran down the hall. 

"Pan," Trunks called after her, throwing his head into his hands with annoyance. Was that what she thought? He wanted to argue his point but he heard a splattering sound and knew instinctively that she didn't make it to the bathroom. He winced, wondering if maybe _he _was the bad kisser, and got off the couch to follow her. 

*

Gohan was beyond mad. He was absolutely, positively livid. He crossed his arms in a disgruntled stance and glared down at his plate filled with rice, pork, beef, and noodles, absolutely refusing to eat. His glasses slid down his face but he refused to move to push them back up, continuing to glare at his plate as if it were the one to offend him instead of his company. 

A hand landed softly, yet firmly, on his arm and squeezed. Reluctantly he pulled his eyes away from the food and looked at the woman next to him, showing a little less malice. He tilted his head to the side and let his dark eyes stare into her, silently asking what she wanted from him. 

"Would you stop behaving so childishly?" She whispered, looking cautiously across from her to see if her husband was offending anyone.

"I'm not being childish." He didn't bother to whisper or even pretend like he cared if anyone else was offended by his behavior. Videl sighed heavily and shook her head, looking back down at her plate before controlling her temper. 

"Yes, Gohan, you are." She stated firmly, giving him a piercing look with her eyes. By now no one was eating - with the exception of Vegita - all their chopsticks had been put down and everyone was watching quietly.

"Videl," His tone was just as strong, though neither of them were yelling or even close to it. "I don't appreciate being lied to or toyed with. And I don't think I'm over reacting or being childish." He sat his napkin on the table and got up, not taking the liberty of excusing himself before he walked away. Videl dropped her shoulders and looked at the people around her, giving Bulma a more piercing gaze than any of the others.

Trunks cleared his throat nervously and cast a glance at Pan that told her she needed to do something. She sighed and lifted her eyebrows, silently asking him what he expected her to do. Her father was right - he had been toyed with. And so had she for that matter. Bulma had manipulated the situation - Pan's health - to take advantage and allow her son the opportunity to 'get some'. Well, that wasn't fair, Trunks had been handled as well. Really this was all Bulma's fault.

Okay, a part of her realized that that wasn't fair either. But she would rather be childish about this because she was still sore about the fact that she agreed to consider marrying a man who couldn't kiss her without the desire to hurl. So she didn't move, only lowered her eyes so that Trunks could no longer look into them and urge, and resumed eating her food as if she didn't notice anything was amiss. She could feel Trunks' frustration as he glowered at the top of her hair but she didn't look up at him. It wasn't until she realized most of the people at the table, including her mother, were glaring in her direction, that she dropped her chopsticks and rolled her eyes. 

"Well, what do you expect _me _to say? He wasn't lied to? That he _is _overreacting? Or that I enjoyed the fact that when I couldn't make out my fingers from my toes the only person there to comfort me was _this _baboon?" She shot a pointed look at Trunks and then stood up, not waiting for any of them to answer, and followed her father back towards Capsule.

Trunks winced as she walked away, picking up on the fact that she was still angry about the other night at his house. When he kissed her and she assumed - all on her own, without any encouragement from him, mind you - that he thought she was a horrible kisser. He hadn't ever had time to clear that rumor up; that night, after she lost the remaining contents of her lunch on his floor, she'd passed out again and then Gohan had called, asking about how Pan was feeling. And Trunks found that he didn't have the heart to lie to the man. Before he knew what was happening, Trunks had one of the strongest men in the world standing in his house wearing the meanest scowl he'd ever seen in his life and madder than any time Trunks could recall while using his half-functioning, half-threatened brain. 

And Trunks was mortally afraid. For his soul, for the very breath he was breathing. That this might be the _last _breath he ever took in. Because Gohan never smiled at him that night, never relented in his gaze. His voice was a deadly calm as he asked where Pan was and when Trunks told him and Gohan walked out of the room, he still didn't feel relieved. Gohan had picked his daughter up and carried her out of the house without so much as a second glance and Trunks had been too afraid to call Pan for two days after. And she certainly wasn't going to call him.

So when Bulma announced that she was having a welcome back party for Goten and Marron - who were back from their extended honeymoon - to make up for what she put the Sons through, he jumped on the chance to be there. Not because he wanted to face Gohan again - that thought made him shiver to even consider - but because he was afraid that if he didn't clear things up with Pan she'd change her mind about him. But so far, they hadn't had the chance to really talk. And now she was calling him a baboon. This didn't look promising.

"What did you do?" Bra hissed at him, mashing her heel down hard on his foot from under the table. "You big idiot." She narrowed her eyes and then looked away from him, plainly disgusted with whatever it was that she assumed he had 'done'. 

"Would someone like to explain what exactly is going on here, to me?" Videl asked, anger appearing again as she glared directly into Trunks' _soul_. Uh-oh, he thought silently cursing himself. He knew that voice - that was Videl's angry voice. He was more afraid of her anger than his own mother's and that said something. 

Bulma was always ranting and raving about something or other - and while it was scary, it had it's limits. But Videl's anger only appeared once every three to five years, and when it showed up it was because you had really done something and the guilt was already corroding your soul. And then she'd set those eyes on you. Those cold, piercing dark blue eyes, that looked right through you and saw all of your faults. Trunks swallowed hard, tugging on the collar of his shirt though it wasn't tight around his neck. 

He could feel the tiny droplets of perspiration collect in his hands and he wiped them on his pants before looking back up at Videl. Her eyes were still holding that angry glint and she was still boring them into the core of his being. No one moved, no one even breathed loudly, and Trunks had no option but to answer. 

He chuckled lightly, nervously, and then straightened his shoulders, looking her back directly in the eyes. "I believe…" He stopped, wiping his hands again because the sweat had acquired with lightning speed. "You see…There is a possibility that..."

"Oh, Trunks, just spit it out!" This was Bulma who was glaring at him as well. 

"If you're about to tell me that my only child is pregnant, so help me Dende I'm going to jump across this table and rip your intestines out. And then I'm going to use them as rope to tie around your neck and hang you off your own roof." Videl's voice was even as she relayed the threat, eyes never lifting off Trunks and he had no doubt in his mind that she could pull it off. His eyes widened in horror and his brow wrinkled in a pleading way that reminded one of a puppy who just got fussed at for messing in the house. He drew in a deep, horror stricken breath and shook his head. 

"There won't be any need for that…" He trailed off, looking about him for any form of help. There really was none to be sought. Bra had this very amused look conquering her face and Ubuu, who was sitting next to her, couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. He was under the blue-haired girl's love spell. Then there was Marron who was too afraid of Videl at this moment to rescue him even if she gave a damn, and in all honesty, he suspected she thought it was funny. Beside her, of course, was Goten but he was Pan's uncle and he was giving Trunks the same murderous glare as Videl. Then Krillen and Eighteen, but Eighteen made sure she stayed out of other's business and she made sure Krillen followed suite.

Of course his mother wasn't offering any form of assistance, and she had gotten him into this mess. Instead she was giving him just as mean a stare - obviously annoyed because he and Pan seemed to be on _worse _terms than before she risked everything to have them alone in the same house. He wasn't even willing to look at his father, he could _feel _the smirk that was plastered on that man's face. Chi-Chi hadn't come because she was 'feeling under the weather' (but really she just used the first excuse she could jump on to avoid spending a few hours with Bulma) and Trunks doubted if she would have been of any help or not - she seemed to hate him more than anyone else. And if Pan would have done anything at all he'd just sent her after her father. But, he guessed, there was one good thing about this situation: Gohan wasn't at the table. So he cleared his throat and tried again, wanting desperately to catch his breath but all the air had left his body. 

"What I'm trying to say is…" He didn't know how to word this. He couldn't tell the woman that and Pan were getting married. Pan had told him not to announce that, and whether they were or weren't wasn't even final yet. He couldn't say that he was impeccably attracted to her daughter and thought he 'cared' about her enough to offer a real future - that would make him sound like slime. But he didn't want to lie. And he didn't know how to explain. What he needed was for Pan to come and get her mother off of him. He needed Pan to tell him what to do - and he was supposed to be a man. "I think that maybe …"

Bra sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "Trunks is in love with Pan and he wants to _date _her." She took up the tone of voice that was used in that Sandra Bullock movie that he hated her watching all the time. What was it again? Miss America or something? Anyway, it annoyed him to no end and he hated that she had just said that out loud. A blush quickly washed over his face, spreading from his neck and then expanding until it covered everything, as he quickly looked down at his plate. He shut his eyes in complete mortification and thanked Dende once again because Gohan was no longer at the table.

"Well it's about time he admitted it." Marron snorted, throwing a piece of chicken into her mouth with some form of elation written on her face. If possible, Trunks' face flushed a little more but, surprisingly, he wasn't angry with her for assuming the statement to be true. He almost wanted to smile in her direction. And that emotion bothered him more than the embarrassment he was feeling.

"Is that so, Trunks?" Videl asked, the same cold anger in her voice as she continued to look at him. 

"Um…You could say that." He allotted, swallowing hard as he looked back up at the woman that, Dende willing, would be his mother-in-law one day.

"And how does my daughter feel about this?" She questioned, her face softening slightly into what could almost be called a friendly expression.

"Uh…Well, you'd have to ask her about that one…" All the words ran out of his brain before he could shove them out of his mouth and that was the best response he could come up with, considering. 

"What he means is, she's delighted but she just needs time to absorb it all." Bra intervened again. Videl slowly turned her head, raising a curious eyebrow at the girl which successfully shut her up. 

"I would like to hear Trunks answer my questions." She explained, giving Bra a sizing look. She turned back to Trunks and then, "You're in love with my daughter?" She questioned, not easing her gaze again. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. 

"I love your daughter." He responded after opening his eyes again, not nodding or saying 'yes' to her question. He didn't have the heart to lie to her, and that way he wasn't lying. But she picked up on his avoidance and narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Are you _in love _with my daughter?" She challenged, everyone waiting intently. There was silence for a long time and Trunks made no move to answer her question. His heart was pounding too fast and just when he opened his mouth to respond he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. 

"Mother, please." The voice that belonged to that hand spoke, simple annoyance and pleading could be heard clearly. Not bothering to wait for a response, she changed the subject. "I talked to father and he's okay now, but he still doesn't want to be here. And he's afraid he might hurt Trunks," She squeezed his shoulder as she said this but he could hear the delight in her voice at the thought of her father beating the crap out of him. "So he said you might make his excuses and accompany him home."

"All right Pan." Videl nodded, still holding Trunks' gaze as she stood from the table. "Bulma, we appreciate the thought but you can understand how we're not in the best of moods with you right now. I'm afraid my stubborn husband is going to need some time before he gets over this. And in the meantime, I don't want my daughter alone with your son. So would you try not to arrange it again?"

Bulma didn't respond, simply shot her son another dirty look and watched as Videl made her way back into Capsule as well. It wasn't the first time her and Videl had been at odds and she was sure it wouldn't be the last - that the woman was upset right now was the least of Bulma's issues. She was more concerned with why Pan seemed to be thoroughly annoyed with Trunks at the moment and with the lingering threat of Gohan's anger. She hadn't meant to undermine the man, she'd thought that he would understand the budding relationship between his daughter and her son. And that he would be glad Trunks was finally showing some initiative and that Trunks and Pan were heading towards something more than maybes and thin ice. But apparently she had been wrong. And the fact that Pan was incredibly annoyed with Trunks only helped to shove salt on an open wound.

"So…were you going to answer her question?" Goten narrowed his eyes at Trunks, easing back into his chair and gazing with curiosity. 

"Who's question?" Trunks asked, sure that he didn't want Goten to say what he knew he was going to say. 

"Videl's question." The younger boy tilted his head to the side in a menacing way, daring Trunks to give him the silent treatment as well. "Are you in love with her or not?"

"Yes, Goten." Was all he said, but the air in his voice made it sound like there was a catch to it. Pan narrowed her eyes at him, glaring into the back of his head. He could feel her displeasure and that was the only thing that made him open his mouth again. "I was going to answer her question."

"And what were you going to say." He continued his challenge. 

"That if I were going to tell anyone whether or not I was in love with Pan it would be her first - and not the entire rest of the world." That wasn't the answer that was about to fall off of his tongue before Pan interrupted the interrogation but it was the only answer Goten deserved. As well as the rest of the busy-bodies at that table. It was really none of their business what went on with him and Pan - that was a private affair. 

"Trunks, it's more than just a river in Egypt, you know?" That, surprisingly, was Eighteen, who sat her napkin on the table and got up before he could ask her what in the world she was talking about. Krillen followed his wife who was soon accompanied by Marron. Goten gave Trunks a look that let him know he was disgusted and then followed his wife, who was waiting at the edge of the table for him. 

"Thank you for having us, Bulma." Marron muttered, looking displeased and uneasy with the situation at hand. "It was a lovely party, really." Bulma frowned, looking as if she wanted to cry, and nodded, also getting up from the table. 

"What did I do to deserve this?" She muttered as she made her way back inside as well. That only left Bra and Ubuu as well as Pan, Trunks, and Vegita. Silently Trunks wondered why his father was still at the table and there was no food to be eaten. Just sitting. He let his eyes travel over to the man, curiosity solely, and immediately regretted it. Vegita was just waiting for the opportune moment that their eyes locked, that was all he wanted. 

The second it happened Trunks could see what he'd been looking at his whole life; whenever he didn't do something the way he was supposed to, whenever he worked instead of trained, whenever he lost a spar. _Those_ eyes would look down on him and tell him exactly what kind of failure he was. Only these held something greater than annoyance, greater than disgust. And it made Trunks want to leave as well - because he didn't know what it was but he felt like the ultimate disappointment. He felt as if he couldn't seep any lower. Then Vegita snorted and got up from the table as well. 

As he left, Trunks thought that he would finally be able to get a moment of peace. A moment where someone wasn't looking at him as if he were the grinch that stole Christmas, but then Pan opened her mouth and from her tone he could tell things weren't going to be pretty. 

"We need to talk." She spoke stubbornly, quickly taking in Bra's overly pleased face at the prospect of getting a juicy bit of gossip. At that, she added, "Alone." In a threatening tone that let Bra know she needed to leave the table. The younger girl sighed and shrugged her shoulders, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and leaving the same way as the others. 

"Man, I sure know how to kill a party." Trunks murmured, resting his head in his hands with a disgruntled sigh.

"Yeah," Pan agreed, coming around his chair and taking a seat at the table. "Did you take some kind of class for that?"

"Please, I _taught _the class." He smiled lightly at her through the breaks in his fingers but the saddened look on her face made him straighten in his seat. He rolled his eyes inwardly and then stood up out of his chair, taking her hands in his he pulled her to her feet. "Pan," 

"Trunks, I don't think-" Her sentence was silenced by his lips as he gave her a kiss that could be considered everything but chaste. He fought the urge to move his hands to her waist and pull her body closer to his, only stood there for a long moment, telling her without words that she was nowhere near a bad kisser.

When they broke apart he didn't move away from her, he continued to hold her hands in his, and waited for her to speak. The smirk, without his permission, had found it's way onto his lips as she seemed to be utterly without words. 

"What were you saying, Pan?" He asked pleasantly, smiling deviously. 

"You can't do that every time I want to talk to you." She stated sternly, finally able to regain her bearings. 

"Why not? There's no rule against it." He teased, lavishing in the completely lost look on his face. 

"There should be." She pouted, sticking her bottom lip out in a frown that would make the smartest man forget his name. He couldn't help it, couldn't fight the urge, he leant his head down and captured her lips again. 

*

"I know you're upset, Gohan, but you've got to try and calm down." Videl was telling her husband on their way home. It had taken every bit of coercing that she had in her to get him to leave without Pan and now she was trying to get him to relax a little. 

"Did you see them?" He challenged, not liking the fact that his wife wasn't on his side in this. "Sitting at the table as if they hadn't done anything underhanded. Bulma went too far this time - I've had enough of everyone trying to push my daughter into the hands of that…that…" He couldn't think of a nasty enough word. 

"It wouldn't take pushing to get those two together. And from what I saw today, no one need to even bother interfering anymore - they did it on their own." 

"No, Bulma did it, you can be sure of that. I didn't tell you Videl, but when I picked her up from Trunks' house do you know where she was? Lying in his bed! _His _bed, Videl!" The woman sighed, quite loudly, and ran her finger through her dark strands of hair. She had let it grow again and it reached the beginning of her neck before cutting off. 

"Yes, well, Trunks doesn't have all that much furniture from what I'm told-"

"She had an engagement ring hanging around her neck." This last part was said quietly, as though he hated admitting it, and both parties fell silent in the car. For a long pause both of them thought on what this could mean, both of them seeming to know exactly what was happening.

Then, "Well, did you ask her about it?"

"Did I ask her…! No, Videl, I didn't _ask _her about it." He drew in a deep breath that made his shoulders rise and then let it out quickly, closing his eyes and opening them quickly, trying very hard to concentrate on the road. "The girl had just been through the worse ordeal of her entire life and no one had bothered to tell me about it. She was sick and without either of her parents - only _that boy _to help her - and you think I brought up a ring around her neck?"

"Okay, first off Gohan, I'm not liking the tone you're taking with me. I don't know what's got you so riled up but will you keep in mind that I am your wife and I control where you sleep and what you eat? And secondly, you have to understand that our daughter is not a teenager anymore. She'll be twenty-two in a few months and I'm pretty sure that if _that boy _has anything to say about it he's going to be there a lot more than either of us in the future. And lastly, you shouldn't speculate about things that you haven't talked over. You're a grown man and you know better. So I don't care if she came home wearing a tattoo with 'Trunks' girl' on it, if you didn't ask her about it, don't jump to conclusions."

"You're right." The man nodded, looking slightly defeated. "You're usually right. I just can't get over what Pan said to me. She's so lost and confused." And then, as if the words just registered in his head, "What do you mean by saying he's going to be there more than us? Did he tell you something?" Suspicion laced his voice as he questioned. 

"What did Pan say to you?" She asked before she heard his question.

"What did Trunks say to you?" Gohan challenged. 

"Well, he didn't say it in words - in fact, he'd probably dance around the entire dictionary before he settled on those words - but that boy is in love with our daughter. His eyes told me more than anything else." 

"I was about to say the same thing about Pan." Gohan shook his head, amazed. 

"You're kidding me?" Videl questioned, sounding her disbelief. Not because she couldn't imagine her daughter in love with Trunks - but because she couldn't imagine her daughter trying to deny she was when it was clear that Trunks was coming around and now they were trying to pave a relationship together. 

"Only, reverse what you said. She'd probably do everything in her power to convince us that she's in love with the boy - she probably believes she is too." His voice trailed off as he concentrated harder on the road, a somewhat glazed look coming over his eyes. Videl's eyebrows drew together and her head snapped to attention.

"Gohan…" She left the questioned unasked, knowing he would understand what she was wondering. 

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say, Videl." He nodded his head. "Our daughter's not half as in love with that boy as she thinks she is. It's going to be interesting to see how they work this one out."

"But, Gohan, she's been after him her entire life." Videl argued in disbelief. 

"Exactly, Videl. It was puppy love in the beginning and it's never changed. That was always what I was waiting for - for her feelings to change. But they haven't. And _now _is the opportune time that everyone wants to start pushing Trunks and Pan together. But it's going to end in catastrophe, she's not ready." 

"Well, let's give them a chance. Maybe she'll come around." 

"Not once he starts pledging his undying emotion for her. She'll be so afraid she'll be gone faster than a deer caught in headlights. I'm telling you, Videl, we need to make them separate. Pan has no idea how much he means to her yet."

"So, let me get this straight, Trunks is hopelessly in love with our daughter. And our daughter is only half way there? _This _is going to be the hardest year of our parenting career, isn't it?"

"That's what it looks like."

A/N: This chapter's shorter than the others. Hmm. What …? Oh, you're confused about that little 'twist' I put at the end/ Doubting Pan's love and all…-innocent look- I don't know what your problem is. 

Now you see why I don't have Trunks just open his mouth and say: "Pan, I'll love you forever and always. You're my entire world." if he did that then they would start dating under normal pretences. And Pan would know Trunks loved her only to discover that she didn't truly return the emotion. And red lights would go off in her head and she'd leave him. And when she was ready to come back he'd be too crushed to forgive her and I'd have this big huge mess. So, they'll fall in love with each other under the pretense of a lie. See, isn't my way so much funner? ^_~ I knew you'd see things my way. 

Okay, there's been a lot of question as to the length of this story. x_x Let me tell you, I actually considered just stopping. I know, what a sin. But you don't understand! It's not that I was inspiration lacking (actually I think I'm out of my dry spell) but it's the fact that I'm on page 160 and I _still _have a lot to do. It's like this story just started and I want to cry. I'm expecting that I'll go to chapter 30 and that means 300 pages for me. And that's just using the outline that I typed up in the beginning - which originally was only supposed to take me to chapter 23. But when I write other things come into my head that I can't fight back and I have to write them the way they come at me. And so it's longer. And this is going to be _long_. It'd be nice if you stuck with me through it but if you just stopped reading, boy I wouldn't blame you. After all, I wanted to just stop writing it. And it's _my _baby.

Thanks for your lovely reviews that always keep coming even when I take forever to update (which I didn't do this time ^_^) and please don't stop. I love you guys!


	17. Fashion Emergency

  
Disclaimer: Uh…nope, still not me.   
A/N: I don't feel like editing. Honestly, it's right off the presses forgive the errors, I _know _there are a lot of them. I hope it doesn't interfere with the reading. x.x Sorry. 

Fashion Emergency

The girl let out a frustrated shriek, closing the magazine and ripping it into little shreds as she tried to regain her nerves. She threw the papers everywhere, letting the tattered shreds fall like confetti, her lips poking out into an insatiable pout. "I don't _believe _this!" She raged, throwing her hands into her dark strands of hair and tugging until she didn't like the pressure she was creating on her head from the motions. "How _dare _they?"

She threw her body onto her bed and kicked her feet up and down, having a small tantrum before regaining what little control she had left. Finally, she drew in a deep sigh and closed her eyes, counting to ten. After laying in the calm silence for a moment she turned her body over and sat up, trusting herself to be relaxed once again. She could hear rushing footsteps traveling up the stairs and she didn't want to be in any sort of disarray when whoever was curious enough to discover her reason for upset came strolling in.

"What's wrong?" The near frantic voice called, knocking softly on her door and waiting non too patiently for an answer. "Pan, what's wrong?" He repeated after what couldn't have even been over a second with no response. 

"I'm fine, Trunks." Pan allotted, trying to keep her voice as even as possible. 

"Then why'd you yell, sweetheart? What don't you believe? How dare _who_?" He challenged, not yet satisfied with her answer. 

"It's nothing. I'm _fine_." She reiterated, her cheeks heating up at the prospect of having to explain her problem to him. 

"Well are you almost ready? Gohan's making my blood run cold down there…" She could almost hear him rocking back and forth on his feet. She sighed, walking over to the door and opening it slightly so that she could see his face. 

"I don't think I'm going." She shook her head, trying to look regretful but not really feeling it. She could see his face drop until he looked completely heartbroken and a slight nudging feeling in the back of her brain made her feel guilty. She wanted to go again, suddenly, but the thought of what she'd just read changed her mind just that quickly.

"Why wouldn't you go? Are you sure you're okay? Do you feel all right? Is there some-"

"Trunks," She closed her eyes, as if thoroughly annoyed, and shook her head. "I'm fine. I just don't want to go, that's all."

"But, Pan, I was excited about this." He whined. "It's a movie premiere, you can't tell me you really don't want to go. We'll be there with all the stars." He tried to convince her, pouting so successfully that she had to turn her head to keep her knees from weakening.

"Don't pull that look on me, it's not going to work. Look, I don't feel up to it, okay?" She fought the urge to cross her arms and stomp her feet just to show she meant business. 

"But I really wanted to go." He tried again, then seeing the look in her eyes, he sighed. "All right, what'd you have in mind then?" He questioned, almost daring her to have a better idea. 

"Actually, I was thinking you could go without me." She twisted her lips upward slightly, as if preparing herself for some kind of verbal impact. And it came seconds later. 

"What?" His voice was soft and the hurt that she heard in it made her want to cry. Why did he have to make her feel so bad about it by uttering one simple little word? How could he do that, anyway? "Why would I go if you aren't going to be there?" As if the thought never occurred to him, and there was no right way answer to that question.

"Because you want to go." She stated, using her 'duh' voice. 

"No, I don't. I never wanted to go without you." He challenged. 

"Well, it's not like your world revolves around me." She spoke in an annoyed tone, even though his honest admission warmed her heart in ways she couldn't describe. How completely adorable was that? It had never occurred to him to just leave her here.

"Who said it didn't?" He pouted again, trying his best to water his eyes in hopes of getting her to change her mind.

"Please, Trunks, you go to work without me everyday. And I go to school without you." She refused to give up the fight. 

"That's not by choice. If I could I'd package you and take you with me. I told you I needed a new secretary but you gave me that 'you're crazy if you think I'm doing it' look." He pushed the door the rest of the way open, pulling her into his arms so that her face buried into his chest and her neck twisted at an awkward angle. "Don't make me beg, Pan."

"I'm not going, Trunks. You are. End of story." She spoke into his shirt, her voice muffled by his chest. "Now let me go."

"But I like you being right here." He pouted, running his hands up her sides slowly, suggestively. "Are you sure you don't want to go?"

"Positive." She squirmed at his touch, using her strength to pull her body away from his. "Stop that." 

"You can't make me go without you." He continued to argue, ignoring her loud sigh of irritation. 

"No, I can't. But my father can and all I'd have to do is go down there and poke out my lip." Her eyes glinted dangerously as she looked up at him, smirking so evilly that even he couldn't copy it.

"That's mean, Panny." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at her. "That's just mean." He grabbed her hands and caressed the back of both of them with the pads of his thumbs. Slowly he pulled her body closer to his. "We can just go to dinner, you know?" His arms wrapped around her waist and his head buried into the crook of her neck, lips caressing the skin gently as a form of persuasion.

"_That's _mean, Trunks." She challenged, shivering at his touch and trying not to be coerced into anything. "Really, I'm not going and you are, so stop it." She stuck her hands out and pushed against his chest, trying to move away from him but not really wanting to.

"Pan, why is there torn paper everywhere?" He questioned, kissing the top of her chin and then moving to the edge of her bottom lip. Her eyes closed, despite herself, and her hands went limp against his chest. 

"Because," she started, drawing in deep breaths of air as his lips found other places to press on to. "The magazine upset me."

He paused abruptly, his body stiffening upon hearing the words, and very slowly pulled his head back to look her in the eyes. "Pan…" He started, using a cautious tone that made it clear he understood he was treading on thin water. "What magazine upset you?" His eyes shown into her as he asked, both of them knowing that now he knew what was wrong with her. 

She shrugged and pulled away from him again, turning her body around so that his eyes could no longer read into her own. She couldn't look him in the face when she said this, she didn't even know if she _could _say it. How humiliating was this situation? Now that he had forced her to think about it, really _think _about it, she felt worse than dirt. Completely horrible. She had never felt this low in her life. A bitter taste fell on her tongue and she swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of nausea that rushed over her, taking her entirely by surprise. 

"Pan, was it Illumina? Did you see it?" Slowly she turned around, eyes glossed over as an admission. 

"_You _saw it?" There was disbelief and a slither of something else in her voice. What was it…hope? Maybe she wished he hadn't seen it?

"Yes, sweetheart, I saw it." He nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor, almost ashamed of who he was, though he couldn't do anything to change it. 

"And… what'd you think?" She prodded, anger more in her tone now than anything else. Her eyes narrowed as she continued to study him, bracing herself for his answer. In part, she was afraid of what he might say, terrified that he would agree. In part, she wanted him to agree and then this whole thing would be over. Sometimes pretending hurt more than anything else. And lying was the hardest thing to do. 

Lately it had become harder and harder to pretend like his touches didn't inspire symphonies to compose themselves inside her head. Lately, whenever he stared at her the way he had been, it was hard not to blush; it was hard to pretend she was unaffected and her stomach hadn't dropped through her knees. So all she needed was his admission, two simple words - I agree - and she wouldn't have to pretend anything anymore. She wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. But that was the part that filled her bones with fear. The thought of not having him there to look at her in that special way. The thought of him agreeing itself made her sick all over again. She fought off the sudden rush of anger and sadness that wanted to overwhelm her body as she awaited his response. It came almost immediately after the question. 

"I think Raven and Fielders are insane. Or they're blind, obviously." He smiled lightly, only lifting one side of his lips into it as he moved his head back up to look at her. "You're a wonderful person, you know that, and I'd be lucky to have you."

"This isn't about how _wonderful _I am, Trunks. You and I both know that. It's about how gorgeous I am and apparently _all of Tokyo _- not just Raven and Fielders - thinks I'm lacking in that department and have made it their business to help you pick other women." She crossed her arms, trying to keep her voice even as she responded to him, but failing because anger made her rise in pitch towards the end.

"All of Tokyo isn't dating you Pan, I am. And I don't care how gorgeous you are, _I _adore you." Apparently he thought his answer was more than sufficient, his eyes widened as he waited eagerly for what she might say. He refused the smile that wanted to form on his face in silent congratulations for what he had just maneuvered his way out of - or what he _thought _he'd avoided. 

"You inconsiderate baka!" She yelled throwing her fist into his chest, her eyes lighting with frustrated annoyance. "I can't _believe _you just said that." She had started her high pitched yelling again and he winced in pain, wanting to tell her to calm down. Wanting to ask why she was yelling. 

"Pan," He winced but she didn't let him get more than that out. 

"So what am I to you, Trunks? Chopped liver?" She threw her hands in the air, eyes widening and daring him to agree. Daring him to answer even. He didn't move, afraid of what was about to happen. Then, slowly, he opened his mouth.

"Don't you _dare _answer that!" She snapped, crossing her arms with barely held anger. "I can't believe you considered opening your mouth, even. What were you going to say? Yes?" Her eyes narrowed as she waited for him to respond. This time, however, he didn't move at all. He knew better now. 

"I mean, what was that supposed to mean? I'm ugly but you'll date me anyway? I could look better but the conversation is alluring so you'll suffer through? _Screw you_, Trunks Vegita Briefs!"

"Pan, calm down, that's not what I-" She shoved him, hard, and slammed the door in his face. He stood there for a moment, staring like a fish out of water, mouth flapping open and closed, before he knocked. He knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't leave her while she was like this. "Pan talk to me or I'll stand outside your door the entire night and bang. I'm not kidding."

"I hope you choke on your own saliva and drown to death!" She screeched through the shut door, a door he knew she was leaning against but he couldn't push it open and it wasn't locked. 

"That's mean, sweetheart." He chastised her again, frowning at the turn this evening had taken. It was supposed to be romantic. It was supposed to be one of the first times they felt really good in pubic, even. Because they had been invited somewhere _together_, as a _couple_. And in that stage in Trunks' relationships it usually meant the press was starting to accept whoever he was seeing as something slightly serious, something possibly life lasting. And _that's _why the Illumina article and come out. If only he could explain that to her she wouldn't be so upset. The kind of acceptance she was getting was rare. Marron hadn't even gotten it until after they were engaged. 

"Trunks, get away from my door. Go to your movie premier and _leave me alone_."

"I'm not leaving this house without you, first of all. Secondly, I'm definitely not going to the premiere that we were _both _invited to now. And thirdly, I wouldn't dream of thinking of you as anything other than gorgeous. So open the door."

"You're only saying that because you pissed me off, you big, stupid oaf." Ouch. He could nearly see her pouting and he wanted to groan in frustration. How did he fix this situation? He would have been better off telling her she looked a little pudgy around the waist area, than do what he'd just done. There was no way out. "And I'm not leaving this room so you might as well come off it."

"Then I'll be out here all night." He continued stubbornly. 

"No, you won't. You are going to that premiere." She said just as stubbornly. "If you don't go, I'm talking, leave _right _now, I'm going to call this _whole thing _off. _No _second thoughts, _no _second chances."

His face paled and he pushed roughly on the door. "Pan, you don't mean that." He tested cautiously, it was more of a question than a statement. She couldn't mean that, could she? Panic lights went off through his head as he backed away from the door. He stood there for seconds that seemed like a lifetime before he heard her voice, calm and completely serious. 

"Every word." He swallowed hard and walked down the hallway, sitting on the steps. What was he supposed to do now? He felt like crying. He couldn't leave her here while she was so distraught but he couldn't stay and risk losing everything. He had to decide, right now, which was more important. Her marrying him or her not being so upset right now. 

Right now would pass. Tomorrow he could talk to her and she would be reasonable. Tonight she'd only be upset and locked up in her room. Tonight she wouldn't listen to anything he had to say. Tomorrow she'd be more open minded. But she'd be completely pissed if he walked out on her. However, wouldn't she be just as mad if she thought he didn't take her seriously? Wouldn't she be just as upset if she thought marrying her meant so little to him that he was willing to risk loosing her over saving his face?

But right now was more important. She was hurt. She was upset. And thinking about her being unhappy, in any way, broke his heart. Mentally he shoved that feeling aside, promising he'd analyze it later when he had time to think. Right now the only thing he wanted was to know that she was going to be okay, nothing else mattered. 

He got up and began to walk back to her room when a sudden feeling of loss washed over him. Immediately he knew she was serious. If he didn't leave, she _would _leave him. He couldn't risk that now, she was much too important to him. With clarity he realized that what she needed was time away from him to calm down, not him beating on her bedroom door while she tried to mope in peace. 

And besides, for nearly two months he'd been showering her with his undivided attention. He'd been making her smile and showing her how much he cared without words. With simple touches and little looks. For nearly two months he had kept her from mentioning calling this 'deal' off and he only had a few days left before everything would be secure. He couldn't run the risk of loosing her now. 

With that truth came a thought of how to fix things without screwing anything up. And, better yet, he wouldn't have to worry about her being upset tonight. If this plan worked.

Instead of beating on her door and telling her he wouldn't leave, he knocked softly and asked a simple question. "Are you sure you want me to go?"

"Positive." She answered, her voice a little cloudy. He cringed and grabbed his heart, physically stopping himself from breaking the door and pulling her into his arms. He heaved a heavy sigh and nodded his head, then weakly, he responded. 

"Anything you want." And was gone.

He walked down the stairs and passed Gohan and Videl without a single word. They didn't question, but he could see they wanted to, so when he got to the door he paused and called out to them. "She's okay, she just read something she didn't like too much." He knew they'd pick up on the hint, at least Videl would, and didn't wait for a response. He simply walked out. When he got to the street, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Capsules' number, Bra's personal line, and waited for her to pick up. 

"Hey beautiful, I need a favor…"

  
*

The girl's hips swayed hypnotically from side to side as she walked, a motion so practiced it looked completely natural and perfectly fitting on her. Her eyes glinted a deep ocean of blue, slightly softer in color than the cerulean hue of her hair, as she moved with purpose. Her arms were flanked with equipment and her lips were curled in satisfaction. It was about time someone called her in to help with this; she had been waiting since what seemed like forever.

She rung the doorbell but didn't wait for anyone to answer, she simply adjusted her materials so that one hand was free to open the door. She turned the knob and stepped into the house like she belonged there, smiling widely as she peeped around the corner and into the living room. 

"Hello to my second family." She greeted the two figures sitting on the couch as she advanced into the room. One of them, whose head was deep into some papers, looked up briefly and nodded. The other, whose legs were resting in the lap of the one reading papers, was reading a book and smiled warmly at her, saying hello before getting back into the novel. 

"She's upstairs." Videl answered, turning the page of her book. "I guess Trunks called you?" She didn't expect an answer and Bra didn't give her one, simply laughed and said 'thank-you' for pointing her into the right direction.

"Panny!" She called out, using the voice her mother took on when she wanted attention, and smiling inwardly the entire time. This was going to be great fun. 

  
*

"Bra, I'm not kidding, I'm not in the mood to play dress up." Pan pushed the girl aside again, curling back up on her bed and taking back the frown that had momentarily left her face. "Trunks sent you, didn't he?"

"Trunks has nothing to do with this. I saw that magazine and it made my blood boil. You're ten times prettier than any of the girls those idiots listed! The only thing you're missing that they are not is the proper make-up artist. That's why I'm here."

"Well, you can take your make-up and all the other crap your brought with you back. I'm not in the mood so wipe that smile off your face." Bra didn't listen to her, she sat her make-up bag on the floor along with the other bag she had brought and then sat down on the bed, looking at Pan with glistening eyes.

"Now, we'll layer your hair. I'm not talking take a lot off, but just enough, you know? Some of it will frame your face, but those will be the shortest strands. Then a little bit of highlights in certain areas, you know, something that will bring out your eyes. Your eyes have always been a lot lighter than your hair so this will help." She drew in a deep breath, not being dissuade by the way Pan cupped her ears with her hand to ignore Bra.

"After that we'll find the proper mascara for you and then find your shades of make-up," she held up her hand as she saw Pan open her mouth with the intention of objecting. "Now, don't worry, I'll show you how to apply it all. But I'm thinking earth tones would be perfect for you. And light pinks and peaches. Maybe we'll perm your hair so it won't be so wild and frizzy? I brought everything just in case." She was in her own element by then and Pan just let her go on and on, completely ignoring half of everything she said. 

"Then we'll get rid of everything in your wardrobe except the things I brought you for Christmas all those years. We'll have to do most of the shopping tomorrow. Wait, before you kick me out, Pan," she warned, because Pan's eyes had flashed and she stood up on the bed, ready to throw Bra out of her room. 

"I'm not saying you can't wear pants, jeans and all that stuff. I'm not saying they can't be baggy and… well, just plain manly. But they absolutely _can't _be anything but designer. Nothing you wear from here on out, for as long as you're dating my brother, can be anything less than something endorsed by millions. Understand?" Pan rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, giving Bra the 'no' look. 

"I'm not changing myself for some magazines. Absolutely not. Forget it. I'm sorry you wasted so much thought on this." 

"Pan," she said in her whiny voice. The one that said, daddy you _are _going to buy me those shoes, so stop pretending you aren't. "Oh," she quickly changed the subject. "And you'll have keep your nails done, always. No paint, no tips, just clear and shaped delicately. All the clothes that we buy have to say 'I'm taken', not 'I'm looking'. Otherwise everything that's in the papers from then on will be worse than what was in that magazine today. You don't want to know what kind of a gold-digging witch you'll be if you start dressing all fancy and provocative after you start dating Trunks. The press is a nasty thing."

"Bra, if you don't _shut up_." Pan warned, her face contorting into a frightening shade of rage. "I have a headache and I don't care who thinks I look like Bloody Mary, I _am not _going to change myself for them or because you're bored. Tell Trunks nice try. But if I wasn't pretty enough for him he should have chosen someone else. Maybe he _should _get with Katie whats-her-face."

"Katie Pickett." Bra informed with annoyance. "She's pretty but she's very shallow. And Trunks doesn't need to date an actress, he'll be busy enough without marrying someone who's never going to be home. Besides, she should dye her back to it's natural color, that red isn't working for her. She was much prettier as a brunette." 

"You are so _superficial_." Pan sighed, throwing her hands into her hair with annoyance. 

"Maybe, but how do you think they're going to judge you at the Lenten Ball tomorrow night? It certainly won't be on your intellect. And if you're not careful you're going to watch as Trunks sweeps some other girl off her feet in the 'cutest couple' dance. Because they don't vote according to who you came with, but rather, who they want you to leave with. And everyone knows Trunks always wins the male vote. It's a fight for the female one and every woman there will be looking her best to steal _your _man. Even Katie's going to be there and you know how the public feels about her and Trunks. Don't go out without with out a fight, Pan. Prove to the public that you're prettier than the others, _I _already know." Seeing Pan's still angry face, she amended quickly, "Not that looks matter."

"I forgot about the ball." Pan spoke softly, calculating in her head the pros and cons of letting Bra 'make her over'. She really didn't want to let Bra touch anything on her but she couldn't go to that ball looking like she did at this moment. In the midst of everything that was happening she forgot to prepare for the ball. She forgot about it completely.

And that was odd because she had been looking forward to this ball. It was one of the rare job related events of Trunks' that she truly enjoyed doing. Last year he had invited Marron and that had been when she started dating him. Pan was immensely jealous that year and she wanted nothing more than to prove she was better company for Trunks than Marron. Recently, she realized, she had been setting out to prove herself better than Marron in every way. She had been trying, despite her better senses, to _make _Trunks love her. She didn't want to stop until she heard him say it - she wouldn't stop.

And if changing her look, only slightly so that he saw her in a different light, meant that she was closer to that goal in any way then she would do whatever it took. Reluctantly she nodded her head, slowly signing her life over to Bra. The younger girl smiled, squealed and then jumped up clapping her hands. 

"I knew you'd see things my way." Pan sucked in the air, deeply disturbed by what she had just agreed to, and closed her eyes tightly as Bra began to pull out her materials. "You'll show them who's _to die for_."

  
*

To be honest, she didn't even recognize herself as she looked in the mirror. The haircut made her look completely different, like someone you thought you knew but couldn't quite put your finger on how or from where. The layers were shorter than she would have liked but her hair still fell to her shoulders in a good amount of length. The highlights were brown, not blonde, and she thought they really did bring out her eyes. They made them shine and sparkle, and the smoky dark shade of mascara that Bra chose helped to bring out the lightness of the brown in her eyes.

The dress she was about to slip into was red and her eye make-up was a light pale-pink that made her look somewhat exotic. Her lipstick was a natural color that was more of a sheen than a form of make-up and, somehow, everything Bra had chosen looked natural. She had gotten her nails done and, apparently, she had to get a whole new wardrobe - which was Bra's command and would be Bra's expense. She had enough to worry about with school expenses, she couldn't pay for that too.

"What do you think?" Bra questioned. She had come back today to help Pan get ready because she didn't think she was prepared to do the make-up yet. 

"I told you last night that I was amazed, Bra. It hasn't changed." She tried to sound flat as she spoke but she couldn't quite get her voice to lose it's excited tone.

"You should be amazed, you look like a supermodel." She really did, for the very first time she looked more than amazing. She was breathtakingly stunning. "My brother won't be able to keep his hands off of you."

Pan didn't say anything, only fought hard to keep the blush from flushing her face with embarrassment. When had her and Trunks being 'together' become public knowledge? She knew that everyone in her family was aware of Trunks' supposed feelings for her. As well as the fact that she returned them without question, but actually saying that they were dating was something completely different. She supposed it was when all the magazines started printing things about them being a couple. Her parents had accepted it, they hadn't questioned or challenged anything. There seemed to be some sort of silent pact among them that Pan didn't know about. Was it the calm before the storm? What would her parents do when they realized that she was going to marry Trunks? She saw the anger in her father's eyes whenever she and Trunks were near each other, especially when Trunks would dip his head and rest it on the crook of her neck, like he was about to kiss her but couldn't because he had an audience - as he had done often these past few weeks. It made her tingle but it made her father cringe. 

Yet, he never tried to discourage her dating Trunks and that made her sort of nervous. It was like her parents thought this was a phase. But she was completely serious about this. Her grandmother could tell this wasn't just a fleeting phase; she could tell because Chi-Chi would click her teeth whenever she passed Pan these days, giving her a discouraging look to let her know how she felt about the situation. But Chi-Chi never said anything about it either.

Of course Bulma was overly pleased with herself because, for some strange reason, she seemed to believe herself to be the catalyst in Pan and Trunks' get together. Aside from Goten, everyone else seemed indifferent about the situation or uppity like they had expected it all along. Marron and Bra had taken on 'it's about time' attitudes towards anything that had to do with Pan and Trunks, and Ubuu was usually a go-with-the-flow type of person. Overall, things were working well for the young couple and the magazine Pan was reading yesterday had been the first adversity they had come across.

Videl had been reading Illumina when Pan saw her name on the cover and insisted that she get to discover whatever was the matter for herself. Her findings, obviously, weren't very pleasant. Illumina Magazine is something more like a tabloid than anything else. It's a woman's journal for the most part and Raven and Fielders are the 'famous-couple critics'. Basically they write about famous people and who they're dating, pointing out the pros and cons of being in that particular relationship, predicting how long it will last, and picking apart each person in the couple and telling their faults - to great extreme. Needless to say, with Pan taking the richest, most desirable, most eligible bachelor off the market, there was nothing good in that article about her. Excluding her, apparently, "luscious lips" that is.

Pan sighed, trying not to think of yesterday's drama. This was a brand new day and there was no reason for her to concentrate on other people's shallowness at this moment. She was about to go to the Lenten Ball. This was her one big chance to make Trunks forget all about Marron and all about the deal. She wanted this night to be special. She wanted, just once in her life, to be someone's Cinderella. 

She stepped away from the mirror and turned to face Bra, drawing in a breath and putting on her brightest smile. "Let's get me into that dress." Boy, she never thought she'd see a day where saying that brought a smile to her face. 

  
*

He tapped his fingers on the satin fabric of his pants again, trying - yet failing - not to look nervous. His head was pressed so close to the glass of the limo he was leaving imprints of his forehead and yet he wasn't physically touching any part of the window. A lump had formed in his throat and, in the uncomfortable silence, he knew he should say something but he couldn't find the words. 

She was upset with his inability, he could tell. Her arms were crossed, her perfectly manicured fingernails digging into the pail skin of her shoulders. Her body position clearly stated she was upset, her legs were crossed at the end and she was turned slightly away from him, staring out of her window. Through the corner of his eye he could see her grinding her jaw back and forth.

He was only making things worse by being silent but every time he tried to turn, to say something constructive, he felt as if he were swallowing sand and his stomach dropped into his knees. She just looked too good. He didn't know how he was supposed to function when every time he turned to tell her something interesting or comforting, something to ease her nerves and get her through this night, all he could think of was the way her skin tasted like vanilla. And how he wished to refresh his memory and make sure this was still a fact. 

He rolled his eyes to the top of his head, trying to hold back the groan before it escaped. He couldn't and his audible discomfort fell into the air. She sighed and turned toward him, her lips turned downward, brown eyes sparkling like never before. 

"Is there something wrong with the way I look?" She challenged, getting right to the point. "Because, if you'd prefer, we can have the limo driver turn around to drop me off and you can spend the evening with Katie Pickett. The rest of Tokyo would like that better anyway." He turned as well, so that his eyes met hers when he told her how wrong she was.

"Pan, if I wanted to be with anyone else you wouldn't be sitting next to me in this limo." He didn't blink as he told her, promising her with his eyes that he would be true to her and only her, forever if she'd let him. "I don't want Katie Pickett and the rest of Tokyo can just get over it."

"They're going to pick you two for cutest couple, you know." She said, instead of acknowledging how wrong his 'pep talk' had been. He was supposed to tell her that she was ten times prettier than all those other girls and that she took his breath away every time he looked at her. But, she guessed, she'd just have to get used to not hearing such things if she was going to marry him. 

"Why would they when you're bound to be the prettiest girl there?" Okay, maybe she wouldn't have to go entirely without nice things. She didn't respond, only turned back to her window and continued to glower. He was supposed to be 'all over her' according to Bra. Was she that undesirable that he didn't even want to _sit _close to her?

The limo stopped and Pan let out a heavy breath before climbing out, with the help of the driver, of course. If Trunks wasn't going to shower her with affection she was sure someone at this ball would. She didn't look bad and she knew it. Even Trunks should be admiring her, even if he couldn't see her as anything more than a friend before. He should be able to at least picture her in some kind of romantic light. She tried to control her temper as she walked up to the entrance of the estate, not wanting him to ask her what was bothering her. She would feel stupid trying to explain that she had gone through great pains to be something in his life that he had specifically told her she could never be. 

Trunks followed, weary of Pan's attitude, and bound to show some sort of self-restraint through the night. He refused to let his hormones get the best of him. While being attracted to Pan was nothing new to him, feeling like he couldn't stop himself from acting on it was. It was something that had only ever occurred one other time. And that last time had ended in disaster. He wasn't going to let her cancel on him now, they were almost engaged. Two more nights and it would be her birthday and he would be home free.

However, he wasn't into the blue skies yet. He had to figure out her mood, and quickly, if he was going to sway her in the direction of being his wife before it was time for her to decide one way or another. Right now he wasn't sure what he was doing wrong, just that it was _very _wrong and it needed to be corrected. And in order for him to do that he'd have to discover what it was that she expected from him. And what she didn't. This night was bound to be the hardest one in their relationship.

A/N: Again, I didn't edit this. O.o so I don't know what it looks like from your perspective. If it's really bad, tell me. I'll revise it and then replace it like Wednesday. Otherwise, -shrug- it's done with. I don't know when I'll be able to update again. I'll try not to leave you high and dry for too long. As in, I'll try and update again on Monday (since we get a 3 day weekend) but I don't know what my schedule will look like. Sorry. Things are hectic. Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of this chapter - seemed kind of slow to me, but that might be because it took me so long to write since I had to space my time out between school and everything else. Thanks for reading. ^_^


	18. One for Luck

One for Luck

To understand exactly what's happening, one must first understand completely what the Lenten Ball is. It isn't just any old social event and refuses to be treated as such. The Lenten Ball is a highly prestigious gathering for highly prestigious people and only those with platinum invitations are allowed past the gates of the estate. In other words, it's for people who are filthy rich and so conceited that they bask in the company of only those who are as rich as, or richer than, themselves. It happens once a year and only the most successful _and _most famous people are invited. This usually includes movie stars and rock stars, but occasionally someone different is thrown into the mix and _always _Trunks is invited. 

It is more of a popularity contest than anything else. You go there to dance, to eat, to smile in the faces of people richer than you and then to glare behind their backs. There is a ballot handed out in the middle of the party in which a variety of things are voted upon. One of them is most definitely a 'best looking' category though it is more tastefully named than that. The nicest looking man and the nicest looking woman are voted upon as 'cutest couple' and they share a dance with one another as well as a pretty smile for the paparazzi. Then gossip surfaces about the relationship between those two people and how it's blossoming into something more than what it started out as. Like a Cinderella story.

Only every year 'Prince Charming' stays the same and a different woman is picked to adorn his arm to see if she has any luck catching his attention - depending on how pretty she is, of course. Naturally, this 'prince' is always Trunks and last year's lucky lady was, indeed, Katherine Pickett. Pan frowned at the thought of all the attention they had attracted last year. But, on the bright side, Marron had been more than a little embarrassed when she wasn't picked and Trunks had obviously come there with her. That thought, at least, made Pan smile - if only for a fleeting second because now she was in the girl's shoes.

Pan sipped her glass of champagne sourly as she looked at the empty seat next to her. She knew Trunks couldn't spend the entire night by her side, but she didn't expect him to go carousing the crowd for someone prettier than her simply because she wanted to sit at the round table, the one they had escorted her to when she first walked in, and pout. He had asked her to dance a couple of times, both of which she refused, before he caved to the offers the other women were throwing at him to go and mingle. She didn't know exactly what possessed him to walk away from her, even if she didn't want to have a good time with him being there, but she certainly didn't like it. 

He could have at least sat and pretended to be miserable with her. It wasn't fair that she was moping and he was smiling in the arms of some blonde who had his full attention. How dare he not be unhappy when she was unhappy? She huffed and took another sip from her glass before setting it on the table and turning around. Someone was standing behind her, she had felt it for a while, now she took notice of the person and smiled. 

"Hello." She spoke pleasantly, tilting her head to the side in a flirtatious manner. 

"Hi." Was his equally pleasant response as he gave her his award winning smile. "I believe the rest of these snobs have set a target on my date and yours and are trying to pin them together."

"So you exclude yourself from the category you put the rest of them in, then?" She ignored his comment, only smiling slightly wider to show she thought it was amusing.

"Of course, I'm much richer than half of them, therefore I deserve something much meaner than 'snob' to be insulted with." His lip twitched up into a smirk and instantly she thought of Trunks. Her eyes did the laughing for her. 

"Oh, like self-centered, egotistical, ostentatious, pretentious, pompous,"

"I get the idea." He laughed, shoving his hands up in defeat. "I was merely going to suggest that we align together if they're going to gang up on us. You know, us against the world?"

"Who's your date?" Pan challenged, though she already knew, had known the second she saw him behind her.

"Katie, of course. We've been serious for a while now." He spoke as if she should know every aspect of his life. And, just for the hell of it, Pan placed a confused expression on her face and lifted her eyebrows. 

"Okay…And who are you?" He coughed, clearly not expecting the question, and laughed nervously. 

"You don't know who I am?" His lip twitched as if she had just insulted his entire bloodline. 

"No, I'm afraid I don't." She responded innocently, trying not to laugh. He frowned deeper, shifting the weight on his feet and clearly deciding that she must live in a cave. 

"Daniel Browsing; Grammy award winning singer, songwriter, producer, Danny Browsing." He informed her importantly, this time she did laugh. 

"I only asked who you were," She started, once she regained herself. "Not what defined you. Does your work make up your personality? Does it describe something about your name that I wouldn't have understood otherwise? Or are you just that conceded?"

"I wanted you to know who I was," He didn't skip a beat at her teasing, smiling that bright smile again. "And my music does define me. I'm irresistible."

"Then why is my date on the verge of stealing yours?" She continued to banter.

"I think you should be asking yourself that question as well." He countered. Her smile faltered. 

"He doesn't want her."

"I never said _she _wanted _him_. Why would she when I'm in the room?"

"He's much cuter than you are." Their eyes hadn't left each other yet, he snorted and smirked again. 

"Not likely. I'm pretty cute." 

"I'm telling you, he is." She nodded her head. He was quick with his objection,

"You're blind."

"You're lacking."

"You're crazy." 

"Someone needs a lesson in modesty." She spoke with a dry tone, trying to keep the amusement out of her face. 

"If he's so gorgeous why are you talking to me instead of him?" He continued, his ego clearly hurt. 

"For the same reason you're with me right now and your date finds you so appealing she needs to be dancing with mine instead of her own." She rebutted, annoyed again. 

"Oh, so you're thinking of all the different things you'd be doing to me if we were alone right now, too, huh?" His eyes glinted dangerously as he pulled up a chair beside her, their gray color never lifting from her brown. The blush happened almost immediately after, starting in her cheeks and spreading her entire face to the top of her ears as she looked down into her lap. 

"Modest enough for both of us, I see." He noted, still staring deeply at her. "I haven't seen a woman blush in years. You don't get those kinds in my line of work." He winked at her when her eyes finally came back up to meet his. There was danger in hers now and she could tell he was more interested in her annoyance than her modesty by the way he licked his lips. 

"Listen, Danny, wasn't it? You've gotten the wrong impression-"

"Please don't give me the 'I'm taken' speech. I know you came here with Trunks, but he's not over here now so I see no harm in talking to you. Is there anything wrong with talking, Pan? It was Pan, wasn't it?"

"I never told you my name."

"You didn't have to. I was behind you when you and Trunks signed in. Anyway, your face has been all over the magazines lately, everyone in Japan knows you."

"I thought you said you and Katie were serious." She changed the subject, still sore about what Illumina had printed about her. 

"They were wrong, you know. Illumina magazine. You're much prettier than all those girls they listed."

"Katie was number one, if you haven't forgotten."

"I haven't." The unspoken implication was left hanging in the air. For a moment neither of them said anything, and then,

"I'm taken, Danny." She finally spoke, ready for him to stop his playful flirting now. Trunks would be more than furious if he knew. Some how that thought lit a dangerous fire in her and curved her lips in an evil way. But she shoved the idea aside before it had the chance to fester in her brain. That would be so incredibly wrong she couldn't even begin to explain it. Using this guy to make Trunks jealous.

He was about to open his mouth and tell her that he'd asked not to hear that speech when he noticed Katie walking over to the table. Pan saw it at the same time he did and they both straightened, moving father away from each other. Trunks was not far behind her, the smile still coating his face that Pan wanted to smack off. How the hell could he be so oblivious? Did it ever cross his mind that this guy, whom she had been engaged in conversation with for a while, could be hitting or her? Or did he just not care?

"Well, Daniel, I see you wasted no time." Katie spoke bitterly, eyeing Pan uneasily. "You could have at least danced with me once before you decided to come over here and try to get this girl into your-"

"Katherine Pickett, I presume? Daniel's done nothing but talk about you since he sat down." Pan smiled, falsely warming up to the girl with an insincere smile and a simple-minded tilt of the head. "It's nice to meet you in person, you're every bit as pretty as he said you were." Katie's entire face lit up, her eyes shinning with pure delight. 

"He…He was talking about me?" She questioned, smiling brightly. "How romantic."

"Pan, there's no need to l-" Daniel frowned, quickly objecting but Pan coughed before he could get the rest of his sentence out. She wasn't doing this for Daniel and Katherine's benefit, she was doing it for hers. Trunks was standing there and his entire face looked like it was ready to explode. He hadn't missed anything Katie was about to say suggesting why Daniel was over here talking to Pan. And Pan honestly didn't want the trouble. 

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you both, but I think we've shared our dates long enough, don't you?" She was still looking pleasantly at Katie, nodding her head so that the girl would automatically say yes without thinking. And she did just that. Pan smiled curtly, sat her napkin on the table, and stood up quickly, walking over to Trunks before he could even up his mouth to say anything.

"I'd like to dance now." Pan told Trunks, still testing her charm on him by keeping the smile on her face. Her eyes lit into his with the unspoken command for him not to start a scene; he merely nodded his head and lead her away, taking her hands gently, as if they were as fragile as butterfly wings.

When they were a safe distance away from the other couple, Trunks set his jaw and leant his head down so that his eyes bore into Pan's. 

"Did he try anything with you?" His brow wrinkled, but other than the creases and the way his eyes shown with danger, there was no sign that he was upset. His voice was light, a simple question; he could have been asking what the weather was like. 

"Nothing I indulged in, if that's what you're worried about." She was still smiling, knowing eyes were on her, as she gave her reply. Trunks moved his feet around the floor skillfully, Pan following his lead. For a few moments neither of them said anything to the other. Trunks twirled her in his arms, bringing her back to his body, closer this time than before, and dropped his hands lower on her back. 

"Pan, are you having a horrible time?"

"Not so horrible. No." 

She was lying. Everything had been wrong, from the very beginning to this moment before her. But it wasn't the wrong she had anticipated it to be. Trunks had done nothing that would strike against him, and yet he had done nothing right. She wasn't sure if she could explain it, or if maybe, just maybe, she was picking things to complain about because she wanted to prove that them getting married wasn't a good idea. 

So far, it proved to be the best offer she had ever come across. For nearly two months she had been happy, afraid to admit it, but really happy. It was like things had gone back to normal with her and Trunks. There was no strained air between them, there were no difficult words that either of them couldn't seem to express, there was nothing negative in their relationship. Her family hadn't opposed her actions and his family had barely mentioned it. Up until the Illumina article, Pan had felt like Cinderella. 

But that was the problem. She was walking on eggshells and everything was too good to be true. Everything breaks at some point. Everything comes toppling down. And what if she got too happy; what if she got too comfortable, and then it all went wrong? The question that kept pounding in the back of her head was, where would she be when Trunks decided this wasn't what he wanted anymore? Too far in his arms to ever turn back? Dear Dende, she hoped not. 

"What can I do to make it better, then?" He saw the tremble in her lip when she answered. He saw the slight crease in her brow and the barely visible upturn of her nose. He knew she was lying. And he was all out of ideas. 

He had done everything. He'd tried complimenting her, he'd tried giving her space, he'd trying asking her about her mood, and now he was asking what he could do to help. But nothing seemed to be working and, to put it simply, he was scared. 

There was an ache that grew in the pits of his stomach when he considered what he would do if she chose this night to say things wouldn't work. There was a tremble in his hands whenever her thought about her lately, and whether or not this plan of his would go through. When it started, it was just an idea. A suggestion, if you will. Had she refused, that would have been okay - it wouldn't have been preferred, but it would have been okay. But now, if she left him…

The thought couldn't even be completed, it was so horrible. And what did that mean? What was the balance between like and love and where did you draw the line? Was there a line? Could he tell her, now, that he loved her and mean it? Would she believe it? Would _he _believe it? He wasn't even sure what he was doing anymore. And, at that moment, he felt as if he were stepping on his own toes - figuratively, not literally, of course.

She didn't answer, simply shook her head and looked away from him. He sighed, lifting one of his hands from her back, stopping the motion in his feet so that they were the only stationary couple on the dance floor, and drawing that hand to her cheek.

"Pan," Her name was spoken softly, as if not uttered at all. Floating out of his mouth like whispers of the wind on a cloudless night. He applied the slightest pressure to her chin, lifting her face up so that her eyes slammed into his, and then gave the sweetest smile she had ever seen adorn his lips.

It was in that moment that she knew. She had lost the game. Her knees literally gave way and she had to clutch his shoulders for support. His eyes made her heart pummel into her toes and cause jitters to spread through the whole of her body. A wave of every emotion imaginable rushed through her and she wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream, and run from fear at the same time. This was it. 

Even if she wanted to live the rest of her life without him, she couldn't. She couldn't walk away from this man knowing that he had offered himself to her, wholly and completely. There was no way to make her legs move in the other direction. Whether it was a lie or not, she knew, that in a matter of months they'd be facing each other, saying sacred vows, and pledging their lives to one another forever. She had never really, truly, had a fighting chance against it. Caught, trapped, from the start. 

"What?" She matched his tone, her own voice breathless and airy from her revelation. 

He didn't respond audibly, instead he lowered his head to hers, placing a time stopping kiss on her lips. Successfully capturing the attention of everyone in the room, and gaining secret tallies for 'cutest couple' while at it. 

  
*

The sun rose up lazily in the sky; taking its sweet time pouring rows of roses and splattering streaks of peaches onto the already set sapphire, in a indolent pattern of morning blaze. Trees moved leisurely in the breeze, waiting for the next strong wind to come up and smack them for merriment; while the birds that nestled inside them rose to gather this morning's treat of nourishment.

Past those trees and past the sparkling green-blue of the water accompanying those trees, deep inside the woods, was the Son's residence. Where only one person still lay in her bed, fast asleep, not daring to move until the sun had sufficiently surfaced and stuck it's tongue out at a lethargic world. The other three inhabitants bustled about, rubbing their groggy eyes and trying hard to maintain a modicum of sanity as the doorbell sounded - again. 

"_Another _one?!" Gohan sighed, throwing his arms out into the air, frustration the peak emotion in his tone. 

"Seems that way." Videl shrugged, yawning and rolling her neck as her mother-in-law rose to answer the door. 

"How many is that?" Gohan questioned again, sounding like a four year old that had been sitting in the car too long. 

"Uh…twenty…one? Yeah, twenty-one." The doorbell sounded again and Videl rolled her eyes, quickly changing her answer while rising up to get the door. "I mean, twenty-two."

"That should be all of them, then." Gohan sounded, more of a statement then a question. 

"Should be." Chi-Chi answered, coming back into the living room, after having done whatever it was that needed doing after she answered the door. Yet the doorbell sounded once more, and this time all three adults let out a hampered moan of annoyance. 

"What's wrong with him!" Gohan yelled, rising himself to answer the door this time. 

"He's in love." Videl said as they crossed each other, her on her way back to the living room, him on his way to the door. 

"That's no excuse." Gohan argued, still walking. "He should be shot."

"I think it's romantic." Videl reasoned, trying to clear her face so that, if her husband looked back on her (which he did), her frustration with answering the door didn't show. 

"Well, did he forget how to count while on this romantic spur-of-the-moment mission? She's only twenty-two. Or was he just adding years because he didn't want to feel as if he were capable of being her _grandfather_?" His voice rose the longer he walked, to accommodate for the distance. 

"Gohan, don't be ridiculous," She commented on his over-exaggeration. "If you look at things your way, he only added _one _year, not _years_. And I doubt that one year would make him feel any better. Besides, they're both Saiyan; Pan, a quarter, and Trunks a half. So, technically, they're about the same age."

"Don't get technical with me this early in the morning." Gohan mumbled, coming back in the living room. "Explain why he couldn't just bring her present to the party like the rest of us are going to."

"He's crazy in love, you remember those days, don't you? Where's your sense of adventure, Gohan?" Her voice was flat, not truly defending Trunks, but taking pleasure in teasing her husband. 

"He's foolish, that's what he is. And she's just a foolish for wasting her time with him." This was Chi-Chi, who had sat uncommonly quiet, for being who she was, throughout the whole conversation. She rose out of her seat, without looking at Gohan or Videl, and walked frigidly to her room, shutting the door tightly when she got there. 

A silence loomed over the room for a few moments, one filled with shock and question that neither Gohan or Videl wanted to challenge. Finally, Gohan cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head, tilting it in silent question to his wife. 

"I don't know." She responded, trying not to laugh at how strange the situation had just been. They both broke at the same time, falling into a fit of undignified giggles the echoed through the, now silent, house.

Nearly an hour and a half later, Sleeping Beauty rose from her coma to join the adults, all of which were sitting in the kitchen having breakfast. Videl casually sipped her coffee as her daughter bounded down the stairs, black hair in disarray all over her face, sleep still in her eyes. 

"Morning Pan." The woman spoke pleasantly, a slight grin on her face. 

"Morning mom." Pan yawned, looking around her with a confused face. She glanced at the clock on the wall to the right of her mother, wrinkling her brow. "Why's everyone up so early?"

"It wasn't by choice, believe me." Gohan answered bitterly. Videl kicked him under the table and Pan watched in amusement as he jumped in shock. 

"What your father means is, the doorbell kept ringing. Trunks had lilies delivered here this morning."

Pan's face paled nearly two shades, she gripped her sides, looking for some sort of support before her knees gave way. "He…he did what?" She asked, regaining herself. She'd forgotten. But how could she forget! She mentally berated her own self. It was _her _birthday for crying out loud. And today was that day. Today was the beginning of the biggest lie of her life. 

"What's wrong, honey? Come and sit down, won't you?" Pan took a few more seconds of disconcerted staring before she calmed herself down enough to hear her mother's words. Slowly nodding, she obeyed, finally letting the rest of the conversation register in her head. 

"Why didn't you guys just go back to sleep after you brought the flowers in?" She questioned curiously. 

"We would have, believe me, but-"

"Gohan, I'll handle this one, thank-you." Videl sensed her husband's sarcastic comments before they came out of his mouth and quickly countered to stop whatever he was about to say. She turned to see her daughter's face, a pleasant smile resting on her own. "There were twenty-three. Too many to be delivered at one time, apparently, by one person so there was a scattered delivery. The doorbell just kept ringing."

"Why would twenty-three be too many?"

"Not twenty-three lilies, dear, twenty-three _dozen_ lilies."

"What?" Pan's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she quickly did the math in her head. "That's two hundred and seventy six flowers, mom."

"We know." Her mother, grandmother, and father answered in unison. 

"Where'd you put them?"

"In the den, though they couldn't all fit, some of them are in the dinning room." Videl supplied as her daughter started to wander in the other direction, heading for the den to see said flowers. "Oh, Pan, don't bother with that. Come eat your breakfast and get changed. We're meeting at Capsule for your party, remember?"

"Why do we need to leave _now _for the party?" She questioned, face wrinkled as she continued to stray away from her mother. 

"We don't, but you have to give out thank-you gifts for everyone that gives you something, don't you?"

"Mom," Pan started in protest, nearly yelling because she was father away now, but the words caught in her throat. She'd just entered the den and was immediately surrounded by dozens of long-stemmed, white lilies. 

Her mouth hung open, suspended in mid air. She was breathless at the sight of it, had never seen anything so spectacular in her life. A smile slowly took form across her lips, gathering in the corners and stretching her face until she was sure it would hurt. Immediately, she couldn't resist this notion if she had wanted to, she threw her hands out and spun around, silently laughing with joy. Seconds later Pan regained her control, glad no one had been in the room to witness her momentary lapse in sanity. She had gone from tomboy to girly in zero to four seconds, flat.

  
*

The party progressed at a leisure speed. Nothing was different with the way this party was handled, compared to any others that Bulma throws. Pan, as expected, only knew a handful of the guests and the others were people whom she'd never met before. But Trunks was doing all introductions with a wide grin that made her more nervous than before she had been when she remembered that today was the day. 

The day she'd have to make a decision, one way or the other. Well the decision had already been made, but she had to tell it to Trunks. And then be prepared to announce it to her entire family. This wasn't a good thing. 

After Pan had mingled with the business associates of Capsule and Bulma had fully entertained her 'worldly' friends, the other guests dispersed and nothing but family was left. Well, not true blood family, but close enough that Pan didn't even consider there to be a difference. With the possible exception of Marron, who technically _was _her family. And soon, the Briefs would be her family too. So she would be linked to them all by blood, one way or another. The thought made her shutter with both tingles of joy and fear. 

The tingles intensified when she felt a hand rest lightly on her back, knowing, without turning around, whose body that hand belonged to. The person moved closer to her, pulling her backwards into their hold, resting their chin on her shoulder. 

"Happy birthday." She heard Trunks whisper, letting his breath breeze across her cheek and neck. She shivered in his arms and knew he felt it too. Though, she wasn't sure if the shiver was more from fear or attraction - she knew what was coming next, he was going to ask her if she'd made a decision. If she'd changed her mind. 

"Thank you." She decided not to assist him in the quest. If he was going to ask, he would have to bring it up himself. She wasn't going to just give him an answer to ease his mind. 

"Did you enjoy the lilies?" There was a teasing tone to his voice as he pressed his cheek to hers; she could feel his smile. 

"Yes, they're my favorite. Thank-you." Her voice had lowered because, suddenly, she became aware that everyone in the room was watching them. Marron, Bra, and Bulma with wide grins; her mother with an uneasy smile; her father and grandmother with an annoyed creases to their brows. Everyone else seemed to be mildly curious as to how things would play out. 

"Doing it for you was payment in itself." Her stomach knotted. Why did he always do this to her? _How _could he always do this to her?

"Why were there twenty-three?" He edged his face lower, closer to her neck.

"One was for good luck."

"Oh." Then, "Everyone's staring at us." She whispered it because she was feeling slightly self-conscious with the calculating stare her grandmother was throwing in their direction. 

"We could always give them something to stare at." Mischief filled his tone as he spun her around, burying her in his arms. 

"Trunks," She protested, half-heartedly, as she let her body meld against his. He tilted her face upward, towards his, and leaned in. Gohan interrupted with a loud voice before the action could be completed. 

"Pan, maybe you should open your gifts now." It wasn't a suggestion, or even a request, but a command. "As in, _now_, would be a really good time to open your gifts. Now."

She pulled her body away from Trunks, her cheeks slightly pink as she nodded her head. "Good idea daddy." She started to walk away when Trunks grabbed her hand. 

"Wait, Pan," He watched her inhale deeply, not knowing exactly what was on her mind.

"Not now, Trunks." She shook her head. 

"But I wanted-"

"I know what you wanted. I'll tell you _later_."

"But, sweetheart, you don't understand-"

"Later, Trunks." Her voice was firm as she pulled her hand away from him, not wanting to have this discussion in front of her family and friends. She wasn't about to ease his curiosity so that he could enjoy the rest of her party without wondering. She enjoyed his anticipation, to be truthful. She liked the fact that she held something of this 'deal' in her hands, and he was waiting for her say so. 

She would have liked better to be proposed to like normal girls. With a guy on bended knee and a ring. She would have liked, too, to hear the person proposing profess their undying love for her and announce that not only would they _not _spend the rest of their lives without her, but they _couldn't_. However, she wouldn't dwell on what she couldn't have. She'd rather be satisfied with what was in front of her. 

"Well, Trunks, since you seem to be so verbal, why don't you start. What did you give Pan this year?" Gohan arched his eyebrow, a challenge clear in his voice. Trunks coughed, cleared his throat, and then looked around the room, settling his stare first on his mother and then Pan. 

"Well…That's what I was trying to say…I think it'd be best if I…Pan…I mean. We should talk first, Pan." He finally settled on that, not able to find the right words. 

"Trunks, for Dende's sake, _later_. Can't you wait a couple of hours?" She tried to keep her voice level and light as she delivered that question, while, at the same time, relaying her annoyance only to Trunks. It didn't work. Everyone picked up on it. 

Something in Trunks' resolve changed, he straightened his shoulders and shrugged. "If that's the way you want it. Fine." He shook his head, picking up on what it was that she was trying to do. She wanted to make him suffer before she answered the question they both knew was hanging in the air. But, by making him present his gift first, she was solving his problem unawares. And he took secret pleasure out of knowing that. 

"That's the way I want it." 

"Remember you said that." He warned as he headed over to the big table, the rest of the family following, where all of her presents rested. His wasn't among them. Instead of shifting through the gifts on the table, he took a seat and reached his hand out for Pan to take the seat next to him. Confused, she followed his lead. 

"Pan, twenty-two years ago, you entered this world; the lives of your family, your parents, and mine. Then, you were nothing more than a child and your biggest problem was getting your next meal on time. Over the years I've watched as you grew, matured, and became the person that sits before me. You've handled adversities on your own, survived missions, and grown like no one I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. You're beautiful, self-sufficient, strong, and the most loving, caring, trusting person I know. Your ability to forgive astounds me." He took a pause here, where it became clear that everyone was holding their breaths. They all knew what was happening and Gohan opened his mouth to object. Pan felt her heart rate kick up ten times, her hands tingle and her knees shake as she sat; but Trunks continued before anyone could say anything to stop him,

"And throughout all the years of my stupidity you've always been by my side, helping me to bounce back when I couldn't find the strength. I couldn't imagine a life without you, but, more than that, I would never _want _to. What I'm saying is," Here he got out of his chair and onto his knees. She shook her head, knowing it was coming but not believing that it was the final moment. That he was doing this. That now was the moment, and, above all else, she had _asked _for it.

"If you'd marry me, you'd give meaning to a life that, without you, would be nothing but void and trivial." There was a moment where no one said anything, all waiting for something more. Something that never came. Finally, Pan recovered from her shock and registered that Trunks was holding a ring in front of her face, waiting for her response. 

"I'd be honored." Came her soft response, filled with so many different emotions he couldn't decipher them all. The ring slid on her finger and she closed her eyes to shelter her mind from the deceit she'd had just dedicated her life to.

****

Disclaimer: I don't own it, in case you were confused.   
  
A/N: I didn't put it at the top because you had waited so long I figured I'd spare you. First I'd like to apologize for the wait, but I literally have no free time. My days look like this: School, homework, sleep. If I have any down time I'm writing this. And it's not much. I'm sorry, you guys. Second, I'd like to apologize for the errors in last chapter, again, and the ones that I know are in this. I couldn't edit, but it was that or do Author Response, and I'd rather respond. So…-shrug- Third, I want to thank you guys for the positive and plenty feedback I get from this fic. I really love your reviews, they keep me writing when I _really _want to stop.

Thanks and appreciation go to: Pia Bartolini, Eneri, Camille, bella, chibbi usago, The Girl Who Cried Oro, Emma the Mistress of Thunder, Bunny / Sailor Moon, v-chan, DBprincess116, Mistress Son Pan, Cha Seew Bow, Yokiko Pan, DLL, Kawaii Luna, MorgauseNokami, Trapped in Icy Flame, Rei Sakura Li, Trunks+Pan fan, caramel, jussafan, TeNshI nO Hi, Princess of Light, Newbie GK, amy94, BulmasPoisonousFood, DBZChicky501, Dark Anjel, Young Ji, chibbi usago, BuGGzErS, The Angry Black Woman, reviewer, Dbzfan550, shruti, angkat14, spawn32818, vintage skater, S Q , Serendy4evr, Gecko , flirting with incoherence, Rei Sakura Li, wawashkeshi, Dani, dbz obsessed, Nebbie, Angelbabe14, VejitaGurl, Hiei Lover, chibi dani, someone very secretive, Butterfly Monkey Babe of Doom, pluto briefs, depth (angst? I wasn't aiming for angst), ssj_kitty, maz, Hanamaru285, Rika, baby girl, FyBanditGrl, xXiaohuAx, Bra Briefs-Vegeta, and P*A*N28 (you can stop crying now ^_^) 

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**Noseless Wonder****- **You have no idea what it means to me that you read my fic. Makes me nervous, because you're so talented. I mean, the _greatest _I have read in the T-P world. Thank you so much. I can't believe you said I make this seem easy. Maybe if I wrote all my stories and then posted them they would make more sense and stick to my original plans. But, who's complaining? ^_^ 

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**amy94****-** If you love slow fics then you must be eating this up. It's taking so long I'm getting restless. But I'm almost done. (by almost I mean at least half way…) Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed!

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**Girl Pan****-** There's always something evil planned for Trunks and Pan. Always! -evil laughter- bwahaha! … I…didn't mean that…

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**Wolven M. Darkness****- **I love that you started reading this and just couldn't stop. Makes me smile. ^_^ I know the story kind of lost it's humor the deeper I got into the chapters, I try and keep it but I can't seem to. x.x 

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T+P fan- I know what you meant. But it was a while ago so…I'm guessing that I meant for Trunks to say he didn't love Marron. :-/ I think…

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**Fadeaway Windwaker****-** I love your reviews. Every single one of them, no matter how long it takes. Thank you so much for taking the time out to give your criticism.

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**Loaf of Pan**- If you're already crying the last two chapters might kill you. :-/ Don't cry anymore, things are lighter now. ^_^

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**DBZChicky501****- **But I live to torture Trunks. It's the basis of my story. It makes me smile! See---- ^_^


	19. Never Say Never

  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own it. Never did, never will. Give me a break already, geesh.

  
A/N: This **is not **the last chapter. Let me say that again : **_This is not the last chapter_**. Okay, I think everyone read that. Anyways, I had driver's ed this month. 10 hours the first week-end, five hours the two after that, and court one Wednesday night. So that's why this took so long - along with everything else, I had that. I would say I'm sorry but you have no idea how much effort I had to put into it to get it out this fast. So … :-/ I'll try harder next time ( I think that's better than sorry, anyways). 

  
  
Never Say Never

There is always a period of calm before the storm. A moment when lives seem to change for the better, where the problem seems to be solved. The peace that surrounds the night sky right before the lightning strikes and the thunder booms through the sleeping darkness to awaken it. Yet, not every storm is followed by a rainbow… 

Pan wiped her hands on the towel, placing the checkered cloth on the countertop as she turned and headed to get the door. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun with strands sliding out in different places, and she was outfitted in nothing but a long, white-cotton t-shirt and socks. 

She pulled the door open halfway before sticking her head around, a large grin on her lips. "Did you forget something…?" The question died on her lips, seeing the person behind the door was neither of those whom she had expected it to be. Her lips got caught in between her top and bottom teeth as she stepped away from the door, pulling it back farther in the process. Momentarily, her lack of apparel was forgotten. 

"Trunks, what are you doing here?" There was surprise but pleasure in her voice as she questioned, while noting the way his eyes left her face and traveled the extent of her before fighting off the blush. "I was just…" she fished her memory for a suitable reason why she was dressed the way she was but found nothing worth while to say; her sentence fell flat in the air. 

"I was in the neighborhood…Or I thought I'd stop by and see you before I went home…Whichever one of those is less lame." He shrugged, a playful smile curving his lips and dancing in his eyes. 

"Right, well then you'd better go with the later, it was sweeter than the first one." There was a moment where both of them simply stood in the doorway, fighting to come up with something witty or appropriate to say to the other. A moment were the silence was strained and things were definitely awkward. Trunks cleared his throat and moved farther into the room while Pan played with the sleeve of her shirt. 

"Oh, yeah. Come in," Pan blushed, noticing how Trunks inched into the house and looking slightly sheepish about the fact that they were still in the entryway. "And you can tell me why you're really here."

"I wanted to see you isn't sufficient enough reason?" He questioned as he made his way to the living room, her close behind. He spread out on the couch as he waited for her response, eyebrows lifted in a teasing manner. 

Of course, in theory, this was a perfect response. He was her fiancé, after all, and it was entirely logical that he could want to see her because he had missed her so badly. But things had been made painfully obvious, not so long ago, that hoping Trunks would one day actually love her, was a complete and total joke. He had pulled away from her this last month so much that at times she wondered if they were even friends.

She wasn't sure when it started because it was a slow, gradual process. But she was sure that she wanted to bring it to an end. At first, she hadn't noticed things were different, because while he had become more distant, he still treated her the same. Then, gradually, she began to notice that he was shifting away from her. Whenever she touched him he would draw back, move away. When they were close to having a real discussion about anything, or when they were just generally enjoying each other's company, something strange would happen; after a few moments of calm and relaxation, where she thought everything would be okay, his face would change, darken, and she would feel him pull away from her. Not literally - sometimes they would be touching and it felt like he wasn't even there - but emotionally.

So him saying he was just 'in the neighborhood' and couldn't go without seeing her for the rest of the night was a laughable and that was the reason she just stood, standing by him, staring. 

It annoyed her that they never seemed to be on the same page. Before they got officially engaged, she wanted as little attention from Trunks as she could get away with, and he showered her with as much as she could stand without going crazy. But after, the roles switched for some reason. Now she was trying to _get _him to show her some form of affection, _any _form, and he would hardly treat her better than he did Goten. And their relationship was still strained on the basis that Goten was married to Marron and Trunks was not. 

If there had been any foundation for her argument then she would tell him how she felt, but there didn't seem to be any. Were they to be tried in court about whether or not he was a good 'boyfriend' there probably wouldn't be enough evidence to prove he wasn't. But the fact still remained that, though Pan couldn't literally announce why things were different, they _were _different and he was horrible at making her feel wanted. In all reality, she felt like telling him to take his marriage idea and shove it where the sun refused to shine. But the thought of living without him, even this distant him, was more than her mind could bear without feeling like she would be sick. 

Realizing that Trunks was waiting for her to say something to him, or at least acknowledge his presence, Pan moved closer to the couch and smiled down at him. "How are you feeling?" 

He smiled lazily, something dancing, distant in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. His arms stretched out towards her, the invitation clear, and she waited a second before she moved. She was shocked that he was actually initiating some form of physical contact, so when she fell into his arms she took advantage of the situation, throwing her legs on either side of his body and sitting right above his waist. 

She was, by all rights, straddling him, and he fought hard against the eyebrow that wanted to rise in a smart-aleck fashion. What did she have going on in that scheming head of hers? "I've been well, and how are you?" He smirked, looking over her shoulder, the way her shirt lifted up her thighs making him nervous. Where was Gohan?

She sighed and turned her head back, trying to spot what he was looking at. Seeing nothing, she turned back to him and shrugged. "Gohan's not here," She said without really knowing what he was concerned about. "And I'm fine." He made no comment on how well she read his anxiety, only let his hands come to rest on her legs and relaxed his body under hers. 

Pan noticed the way his eyes cast nervously from her face to her uncovered legs and suddenly an idea entered her head. She shifted her weight back a bit, lightly brushing her body over his, throwing her weight in a very calculated movement before becoming still again. He drew in his breath quickly, and she didn't miss the twitch of his lips as she settled back to her original position; she had to bite her cheeks to keep the smile from covering her face.

Maybe, if she made every move the right way, she could break through the icy exterior he had been wearing these days. Maybe she could make him lose all his control, throwing caution and reason to the wind in the midst of his passion for her. If there was any passion there for her. Perhaps she could make him forget that this was basically a business contract. And, just possibly, somewhere while he was forgetting, she could forget too. It was a stretch but it was worth a try…

Then again, what would happen if she couldn't get him to comply? Where would she be if she completely threw herself at him and it was clear that he absolutely wasn't interested? She wouldn't marry a man that couldn't be attracted to her at the spur of the moment. If she had to wait until he was feeling lonely and blue before he showed any interest in her body, then he could forget about this entire idea. She had told him in the beginning that she wanted this to be a real marriage in every way, except for the love part. 

But she couldn't make him want her any more than she could make him love her. A person couldn't change who they were or were not attracted to, and there was no way he could fix this if he wasn't even interested in her. What if all he saw when he looked at her was the eight year old he used to baby-sit? It hurt her to even consider the fact that he might not even find her desirable.

His hands were rubbing her legs now, up and down in slow motions, and he was studying her face closely, no doubt wondering what she was thinking. "Care to share what's on your mind?" He smiled in an almost loving manner, his eyes were gleaming and she briefly wondered if he was mocking her.

"Nothing, really." She did her best to seem casual as she pushed her body weight down and back again, lightly rubbing against him. He closed his eyes immediately, drawing in a slow breath, and, that time, she did smile. His hands stopped moving exactly where they were, applying pressure to her legs, before beginning their slow caress again; this time slower and with a bit more pressure, sending waves of electricity through her body. 

"Where exactly is Gohan?" He breathed, after a few moments of silence, his eyes still shut as if in some kind of physical pain. 

"The office still. Mom and grand-mom went to the store." She hesitated and then, "We're alone." She added for good measure, with a hint of something more in her voice. She paused after it was said, realizing exactly what implication he would draw from her add on, and aware that her tone hadn't helped her either. It was suggestive and, for some reason, it felt wrong almost. She had always wanted him, she knew, but had never thought she'd be hinting it out loud. Ever. However, he didn't seem to be as bothered by her profession as she was. 

A slow, easy smile overtook his lips and he opened his eyes, a dangerous glint in his crystal depths. She shivered involuntarily and squirmed against his body again, this third time not meaning to at all. A small chuckle emitted from his throat as he swiftly grabbed her waist, flipping her so that their bodies lay side by side on the couch. 

"Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Son?" He smirked, setting his hand on her waist and pulling her body so close to his that if she responded they'd be kissing.

She yanked her head back, eyes on fire, and opened her mouth, ready with an angry reply. He was making fun of her, she was sure of it. But before she could say anything his mouth was on hers, claiming her words, her breath, her thoughts.

There wasn't even a pretense of this kiss being chaste; his mouth covered hers with clear desire that let her know exactly what he thought of her toying with his emotions the way she was. His hands traveled farther down her waist until they were on the top curve of her hip, and he tightened his grip around her. Very slowly, he pulled his face away, giving her a chance to catch her breath.

"You were saying?" He teased, referring to whatever angry comment she had been fully prepared to deliver a minute earlier. She unsuccessfully searched for a response as he smiled at her, moving his hand still lower, to the curve of her behind. She huffed, unsure of why her mood switched so easily, and angrily threw her leg over his body, pushing so she could climb over him and off the couch. But he caught her halfway through and pulled her on top of him, having her take a position much like the one she held a few moments ago.

"Where are you going?" He asked, seriously confused. Her nostrils flared and she pushed her fists into his chest. 

"This isn't funny, Trunks." She warned, near a yell, glaring and huffing at the same time. Her hands were shaking and her lips quivering. "This is so serious."

"I'm being serious." He replied softly, his hands finding rest on both of her legs again. He resumed the rubbing he'd done earlier, making direct eye contact with her. 

"Then why do I feel like you're mocking me?" She pleaded, trying to push off him again. He wouldn't let her get up, giving her the most serious look ever. 

"First, it's going to get much more serious if you keep doing that." He was referring, of course, to the rocking motion her body kept doing against his. "Second, I _am not _mocking you, Pan-pan." He smiled when he said the name, trying to lighten the mood.

"And you're doing it again. Ladies and gentlemen, the jackass." She took on the voice of a talk-show host but he could hear her anger. The last time someone had called her Pan-pan, she had to have been five, she thought. She had forgotten that Trunks called her Pan-pan all the time, and she used to love it. Now it was nothing more than the tone a father would take to his five year old child. Perhaps she was being unreasonable. 

"_No_, I'm _not_." He stated sternly. "You started this Pan."

"And I was being completely sincere when I did. I wasn't _messing _with _you_." To her horror, he laughed. 

"Yes you were." He countered her. "You were trying to toy with me Pan." She swiped the embarrassment that was threatening to overtake her emotions down, and latched on to the anger. 

"I was trying to picture what the rest of my life would be like. And now I know." She spoke bitterly at the end, biting her lip in an effort to keep her emotions in check.

"And your verdict?" Amusement was still gathering in his eyes and she felt her nostrils flaring, hurt and shame flushing her cheeks. 

"Keep it." She pushed off him, only to be pulled down again. Trunks sat up on the couch, pulling Pan with him so that her legs were on either side of his waist and she was sitting in his lap, facing him. 

"Pan," he started, fatherly in his tone. 

"Save it Trunks. Marry someone you can touch without being disgusted." She pushed away again but he pulled her much closer this time.

"I'm touching you now."

"You know what I mean." She snapped, narrowing her eyes. 

"No, actually, I don't. What makes you think I'm disgusted?" Only curiosity filled his tone, nothing more. 

"Do I need to spell it out?" She nearly whimpered against his grasp over her. 

"Please." He spoke in a tone that completely enraged her, because it made it seem as if she was the one being ridiculous and unreasonable instead of him.

She sighed heavily, rolling her eyes into the top of her head. "Fine." There was defiance in her voice as she conceded, looking him square in the eyes. "When you look at me all you see is a girl you share a platonic relationship with. You could never make yourself be attracted so there's no point in pretending like I'm over-reacting. I'd find out eventually anyway, and we agreed, aside from love, our marriage would be perfectly normal. But it wouldn't be, I see that now. So why should we make each other's lives miserable? I told you I wanted children, the natural way, and I meant it. Now if you're going to sit there and laugh at me then I've really had it!" He smiled, as if still fighting back laughter, and quirked an eyebrow.

"Are you through?" She jammed her fist into his chest roughly, positive that he was teasing this time. "I guess so." He smirked and she clenched her teeth, grinding them against each other. What the hell was so funny? This was not a joke.

"You think I'm not attracted to you?" He spoke the question slowly, his tone lightly amused as he bore into her eyes. 

"What's to think? I _know _you're not. You just proved it, and it isn't the first time either. Not to mention, you added injury to insult while doing - you were making fun of me." She scoffed as he winced at her assumption. 

"For-the-last-time," He spoke slowly, giving each word extra emphasis. "I was not making fun of you. And," here his fingers began to twirl around her back in light designs to add emphasis to the next part of his speech. "I am _very _attracted to you."

"Are you lying?" She whispered, slightly calmed by the sensations his touches were causing within her. He shook his head no, using the feeling that shimmied through his body as her breath tickled his neck as proof to himself of. 

"I told you I would never lie to you, remember?" 

"Yeah, but you're not supposed to say never, you know." He laughed, leaning forward to kiss the top of her neck softly. 

"The people that made that saying never met you. If they had, they'd know there are just certain things that you could be sure of never doing."

"Like loving me." She spoke softly, very softly, regret laced in her sentence and jarring every word. He sighed, kissing up the side of her face in a effort to avoid that question. He'd been avoiding that question for a month now. Ever since he realized that there was a definite possibility that he might be in love with this girl. 

And loving her would be dangerous. It would mean he was vulnerable. It would make him susceptible to heartache and torture. It made him an easy target for pain and he didn't like that thought. So he'd fought hard against the notion of loving her for a long time. Pulling away when he could and trying hard not to give into the temptations his body screamed he cave to, whenever she threw them his way. But she was so hard to fight. 

Realizing that he wasn't going to respond, Pan continued the back-tracked the conversation. "You're attracted to me? Since when?"

"You've always been beautiful, Pan. It was just never appropriate for me to think so before."

"So you're only 'attracted' to me because you _allowed _to be?" He snorted.

"Do you remember the very first time we kissed? You know why I thought you'd never talk to me again? I didn't continue to kiss you because I thought you were Marron - or because I wanted you to be." He left the rest hanging in the air. Pan gave him a skeptical look. 

"You did it because you were attracted to me?" Her voice was flat, clearly she didn't believe him. 

"That, and I felt like I'd already lost everything. So I had nothing else to give up by acting on that attraction and seeing what it would be like. I'm a jackass Pan, I figured you wouldn't mind because you were in love with me. Once I'd done it, though, I realized that I did have something else to lose - you. And I'd probably just done it."

"That's the same thing you did when you asked me to marry you." She observed, quiet anger present in her tone. 

"What?" He asked, lost for her meaning.

"Assume I wouldn't mind because I loved you."

"Pan…I…" There was a definite moment where awkwardness lingered in the air as Trunks began to realize the seriousness of the situation at had. He shifted uncomfortably under her, opening his mouth to try and find words in his defense. There was nothing he could say. "If you-"

"I told you I'd never leave you." She smiled, not even letting him finish his thought. "I meant it."

"Never say never, Pan."

"Knowing someone like you makes it easy to know the things you'll never do." She smirked his smirk as she delivered the line, adding effect to her words while trying not to laugh. 

"That line was copy writ." He mused, frowning playfully as he kissed the side of her lips. 

"So sue me." She laughed, tilting her head to his and pressing their lips together.

"I think, from now on, I'm going to try and treat you more like the woman that's going to be my wife. And less like the one that used to be my friend. I mean, I've noticed the way my father gives us these looks…And the way your family treats this whole thing as if it were a joke. And I'm sorry because I feel as if it's my fault." 

"How are we going to do this Trunks? We're about to be newlyweds and…well, to be quite honesty I'm terrified. I have no idea how this is going to work." 

"The same way every other marriage works," He didn't even hesitate as he answered. "From this point forward, we love each other. If only for namesake."

She wanted to ask what that was supposed to mean. She wanted to question the sincerity of it, the gleam in his eyes making her wonder if her imagination was running wild or if he had just said he loved her. But something inside held her back. A feeling of dread and pure panic when her security threatened to be broken. For some reason she knew that if she opened her mouth and asked him, that if she questioned whether he loved her or not, she might not get the same answer she had been getting. And not getting a no meant something more than she was willing to face. Having him tell her anything than what she already knew scared her - like a deer caught in headlights, she felt the urge to flee. So she didn't open her mouth, she took for granted that his feelings hadn't changed - ignored the fact that his feelings could have changed - and left the subject alone. 

In a moment, she became aware that she didn't want him to love her and she wondered why her emotions were so fickle. Love meant something more than what she was sure she understood - the word was so overused and misunderstood - she just didn't want to use it. To question it. To challenge it. She needed the comfort of someone who would be there for her without wanting, expecting, needing. She reveled in it, suddenly. 

And she was glad that this was a deal - not love and devotion. At that moment, she wasn't sure love would sit well with her. You couldn't truly say you loved someone if you didn't want them to love you back, could you? 

  
***

The tables were decorated a lacy white color and there were pink roses on every table. The napkins were folded into swans, all the silverware was actually real silver, the plates were porcelain, and all the glasses were crystal. There was a fancy chandelier in the middle of the room and a stage at the very front. 

Her heart was pounding fast than it ever had before. Her hands were sweating as she stood in the center of the room, eyes darting from corner to corner, her cheeks running pale. She shifted her feet and bit her lip nervously, jumping slightly because she had just been poked in the side. 

"Would you be still, Pan?" That was Chi-Chi, holding a pin in her hand, forehead wrinkled into the very picture of annoyance. "You keep fidgeting and you won't have a dress." 

__

Good. Pan thought, needing, more than anything, to get away. She was standing in the middle of the room where her reception would be in her wedding dress. She couldn't have been more afraid. "Why do we have to do this in here?" She whined instead of stating her other thoughts aloud. "I'd feel more comfortable somewhere else."

"Well we're not somewhere else, are we?" Chi-Chi snapped, sticking a pin into Pan's dress a _little _too roughly. She let out a calming breath and then took a step back. 

"That should do you." She nodded her approval for Pan to move and the girl darted down the hall as fast as humanly possible, stopping at the doors and ripping them open, already calling for her mother to help her out of the dress. 

"Don't drop any of those pins!" Chi-Chi called too late, Pan was already out of sight. The old woman sighed, shaking her head and taking a seat in the nearest chair, resting a hand on her heart. This was all too much for her. 

"It just can't be happening." Chi-Chi shook her head, talking to her own self, for no one else was in the room at that point. "She can't be foolish enough to do this." A weight seemed to press on the woman as she thought of all the things she knew. Of all the things she had seen in her lifetime. She couldn't take this, sitting by, watching someone ruin their lives this way.

She had made this mistake already, and it only took one person to learn from something this colossal. She needed to tell Pan what she knew, had to stop this at all costs, for she wouldn't watch her only grandchild be as miserable as she knew the girl would be. She couldn't allow such a horrible thing to happen. 

Just then the doors swung open again. Pan came walking in, using a much more civilized speed than she had walking out. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun, two strings hanging from either side. She was wearing baby-blue exercise pants and a small white-tee. Her eyes were brighter than Chi-Chi would ever remember seeing them, but that didn't make things alright. Gold was not equal to platinum simply because it was better than silver. 

"Come here, Panny." Chi-Chi called, her voice weighted and tired as she patted the chair next to her. Pan tilted her head, concern shinning in her eyes as she nodded and moved to take the seat. 

"What's wrong grandma? You haven't been too well lately, have you?"

"No, I haven't." She held up her hand before Pan could say anything, already knowing what the girl had meant and not meaning what Pan thought. "And if you'll listen, I'll tell you why." 

"All right…" Pan said, a little uneasy because she had noticed that Chi-Chi had been more distant than anybody else. Her parents had given her a long lecture when she told them that she was seriously engaged to Trunks - her father had exploded on the spot. There had been lots of yelling and pale looks, lots of anger and 'disappointment' before the acceptance came. Bulma had been hysterically ecstatic, Bra and Marron had been arrogant about it, and Goten had been weary and annoyed. Vegita was cryptic, but he seemed to be pleased by it all. The only person that seemed really distant and completely unnerved was her Chi-Chi. And Pan had thought Chi-Chi would be singing happy tunes with Bulma. 

Pan straightened in her seat and sat up closer, making sure her body was in ready position to pay attention. And when Chi-Chi began to talk, it wasn't what Pan had expected to hear at all…

"Some years ago I had a friend who had a love for justice and the martial arts. Her father was strong, a fighter if you will, and so she learned to love the thrill. She was showered with affection, adored and admired, a princess by every right of the word. But this girl, like all girls do, met a boy that stole her heart away. One that fought, just as she did, and understood the thrill. One who was so innocent and caring that she couldn't help but love him." She paused, swallowing and clearing her throat before she continued, hoping she could get through this story without getting emotional. She would simplify it as well as she knew how to, but she could not leave out the important details. She had to tell Pan why. 

"She loved this boy and ignored reason when she heard it. Everyone told her to be smart - everyone said she should let it go. But her father didn't, he let her have whatever she wanted and he told her that if she wanted him she could have him. Only the boy wasn't ready when she thought she was ready. So she waited, hoping he'd fall in love with her the way she loved him so, but he never could. He loved the world, he loved the people in the world, and he belonged to them. Never her." 

"What are you trying to say to me?" Pan asked after Chi-Chi had paused for so long she was afraid she wouldn't continue. 

"What I'm trying to tell you Pan, is this, don't marry for the wrong reasons. This girl married that boy. He finally agreed, thinking they could make it work, thinking he could love her. And she didn't care if he could or couldn't. Just that he'd be there and that she loved him. She thought that she'd have so much love for him that it wouldn't matter if he felt it too. She thought, just waking up by his side, holding him at night, hearing his voice and the sound of his heart beating next to her ear while she rested, would be enough. But it never was. 

Listen to me, Pan. One day this girl woke up a woman with nothing to show for her life. She realized that she had given so much without receiving that she didn't have anything left. She was empty and void inside. And do you know where the boy she married was? Gone. He wasn't even there, had never really been there. Don't be that girl. Take it from me, it's still lonely in the middle of the night when you're lying next to someone listening to their heartbeat and they don't feel the same for you. It doesn't change. If you get married, do it because you think it's the right thing to do or don't do it at all." 

There was a pause, after she finished her story, in which Pan was afraid to move, to think about what she'd just been told, to breathe even. Finally, the young girl swallowed, her heart thumping a thousand times a minute, and she opened her mouth. 

"What you're saying to me…" She wasn't sure she wanted to finish. Her eyes watered but she blinked them rapidly, nostrils flaring in and out with indignant anger. "I always thought…" Her face scrunched and she closed her eyes, tears trickling down her face, splashing onto her shirt as she tried to find the words. "But I thought he was perfect…I mean, you always seemed so…so _happy_…Dende." Her stomach clinched and she couldn't have kept talking if she'd wanted to. She felt a hand rest on her leg, calming her, and she took a deep breath. "He never loved you?" The question was whispered, fright creeping into the corners of her pauses as she asked it. 

"He loved everybody equally, Pan. But a man should love his wife most."

"That's why he always left…"

"No," There was power in Chi-Chi's voice as she countered her. It made Pan jump because things had taken a more calm pace by then. "He never left _me_. If your grandfather ever left it was because he thought it was best. He never left me." It was as though Chi-Chi were fighting with herself, with someone other than Pan as she said this. As if, by tone, she could prove herself right. And Pan didn't argue because, she figured, some things shouldn't be taken away from people, and that was one of them.

"So, what do you want me to say?" Was what finally came out of her mouth. Chi-Chi moved her hand from Pan's leg and sighed, cocking an eyebrow as if she had been waiting for this question. 

"That you won't marry that boy." 

"Why would I say that?" Pan asked, as if she couldn't link her situation with her grandmother's. 

"Because he doesn't love you."

"Does too." She argued the way a four-year-old would and stuck her lip out in a sort of pout that angered her grandmother. 

"Don't you lie to me, Pan Son." Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes in a warning tone as Pan wiped the stray tears from her face, fighting down the anger that wanted to surge to the surface. 

"I'm not lying." She answered, more meekly this time than before. 

"All right then, I want you to look me in the face," She waited until Pan had complied before she continued. "And I want you to tell me that he loves you." 

"He loves me." She whispered, and feeling the urge to lower her eyes she quickly added, "As much as I love him." At least that much was least the truth. She had already revealed to her own self that she didn't truly love Trunks. Hadn't she? 

"Pan, you have two weeks to call this wedding off or I'll do it myself at the church." Chi-Chi crossed her arms, glaring at the young girl with more than just anger, but hurt as well. "Did you ignore everything I just told you?" 

For some reason, something inside Pan snapped. Chi-Chi had no right to tell her how to live her life. She had no right to command her not to do something she wanted to. And she had _no right _to attack a dead man when he couldn't defend himself. It wasn't fair.

"You knew what you were getting into when you married him. You knew he was a fighter, you knew he hated staying home. You accepted him then for better or for worse, and who are you to tell me that I can't do the same? You got two wonderful children out of it and the best husband anyone could ask for. How selfish do you get, blaming him for your own problems? He stayed gone because you always harped and if you hadn't pushed him away then he'd-" The sound of the slap resounded through the room. It stung Pan's face, turning her cheek a strawberry red as her mouth dropped.

"Not only did you lie to me _and _disrespect me, but you insulted me as well. Have you forgotten who I am? Have you lost the good sense my son gave you? Clearly you have no right to even be considered grown enough to decide things on your own. You're just a child who only sees things through children's eyes - rose-colored glasses. You think your grandfather was perfect, and I can understand your belief, but you have no idea. I _harped _because of things you couldn't possibly understand. And, yes, maybe I did get what I deserved, but you'll soon understand _everything _I went through. And when it hurts so badly that you're afraid to look in the mirror from fear of what you'll see, don't come crying to me. I won't be your shoulder to lean on - I'll be the one that told you so." 

She stood, years of grace and poise evident in her walk. The anger seeping off her, clearly visible, yet wisely concealed as she moved away. Pan lowered her head, afraid to move, afraid to speak. Not knowing what came over her. 

"Grand-mom, please wait," She finally spoke, not able to sit through the guilt anymore. "I'm sorry." She said, when she knew Chi-Chi had paused. "But he still seems so perfect. It hurts when you say he wasn't." It was like someone feeding you ice-cream your whole life, then suddenly telling you it was fattening out of the blue. How could something so right be wrong?

"You didn't say anymore than what everyone else thinks." Chi-Chi began, talking slowly and being dismissive in her tone. "Everyone loves him more, even now…_especially _now - he's just so hard to blame. Maybe you weren't ready to hear what I just told you. I'm the one that'ssorry." 

Pan didn't know why, but she fell into another fit of sobs. Her back raked as she threw her arms across her face, laying her head on the table and letting the liquid slide off her cheeks and hit the white-lace cloth. After a minute she felt a hand rest on her back, and knew that things were going to be okay. No matter what.

A/N: I hope this wasn't too bad/confusing. This is supposed to be the most important chapter, believe it or not. Hence, _Never say Never_. But the point is not Trunks and Pan in this chapter, in case you missed it, it's Chi-Chi and Goku (And Pan and Goku). The entire story, really, is about Pan and Goku, and how he shaped her life. Notice all her relationship problems stem from having issues with Goku. That came up in chapter 12 too…I believe it was chapter 12. It's really all through the story. Anyway, don't forget to review and **thank you ** for reviewing me so much. You guys make my life. You have no idea how tempted I am sometimes just to make Trunks say "I love you" and Pan say "I love you too" and then end it. But I don't. ^_^ yea me. Now I have to go do some homework so….

Oh, I added a disclaimer to the last chapter. And, yes, Trunks is supposed to say "I would never want to live without you" or something to that extent when he proposes. My mistake. No matter, I changed that too. -dies-


	20. From Bad to Worse

  
**Disclaimer: **How _many _times? Fine! I don't own it, stop making me cry.   
  
A/N: And you thought I was mean last chapter. Bwahaha!

From Bad to Worse

"What's wrong?" Trunks questioned, his face scrunched from obvious stress.

"Everything's wrong." Pan pouted, throwing her hands into her hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail with a yellow scrunchie, and messing it up. Her forehead wrinkled as she looked into Trunks' clear blue eyes, anger and stress clearly evident in her own. Mixed with something he couldn't quite touch…was it fear?

"Well, what specifically?" He asked, trying hard not to look at his watch and rush her out of his office. He had an appointment at three o'clock and she had walked into his office at two-forty looking distressed and highly annoyed. 

"The caterer called and apparently they've mixed up our order with someone else's. They delivered our cake two hours ago, wedding top couple and everything." She tilted her head, pain clear in her features as she told him, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. He sighed, knowing this was going to take a while, and groaned after taking in the information she'd just given him. 

"Pan, the wedding is in two days, they can make another cake by then." He tried to be reasonable about the situation. 

"No they can't, Trunks. Not only do they have other costumers, but it took them a week to make that cake. It was huge and they can't get us one that size in such short notice." She sucked in the sides of her cheeks, obviously challenging him to come up with something else. Apparently she had already gone through every option and wanted him to play the same guessing game she had. He really needed to talk about this later. 

"Okay…So what did they propose they do? Since this was their error." He quirked an eyebrow. 

"Oh, they don't know what they're going to do. It's more chaotic there than it is at my house. You wouldn't believe it. Anyway, we'll have to get married without a real cake. The best they can do is a substitute. It's half the size and the bride and groom cake top people are typical - nothing like us." She crossed her arms defiantly. 

"Do you want to go to another company, Pan?" He asked, all fight leaving his voice. 

"No, Trunks, I don't want to go to another company." She told him, her voice angered and flat as she spoke. "They're the best." 

"Then what's the problem? Is the cake-top couple that important? I can have someone make us a cake-top couple." 

"Yes it's important, Trunks. The woman on the top of _my _wedding cake is blonde. She's _blonde _with blue eyes. Like I need that reminder on a day that's supposed to be special for me. Of all the luck." Her face hardened as she leaned forward in the chair. 

"So you want a new cake-top couple? Okay, done." He nodded, writing it into his schedule book. Pan glowered and reached across his desk, pulling the book out of his hands. 

"Are you rushing me?" She absolutely dared him to tell her yes, eyes lighting as she looked down at the book, not really needing an answer to her question but waiting anyway. 

"No, sweetheart, take all the time you need." 

"Good, because I need a lot of time." She warned him, ripping the page that he had been studying out of his planner. She stood up abruptly, throwing the planner back to him, and walking out of his office door. He stared, curious and confused, afraid to move from the mood she had just taken with him. What was he supposed to do? Quickly, while she was out of the room, he glanced at his watch. He groaned, he only had five minutes left. 

"Don't look at your watch, you're not going anywhere. Your secretary's canceling all of your appointments. She's pretty, by the way, I don't recall her being here last time."

"The other one quit." He spoke dismissively, rubbing his temples. 

"Well, this one's gorgeous." Pan reiterated, trying to catch his reaction. 

"Is she?" He shrugged, honestly not 'in the know' on the subject. "Why'd you cancel all of my appointments, Pan?"

"Because, we have problems Trunks. Problems that need to be resolved in twenty-four hours." 

"Pan, I'm off for the next two and a half weeks. This can't wait until tomorrow?"

"I can't see you tomorrow and _no _this can't wait. What does two days mean to you Trunks? In two days we-are-getting-married." She spoke it slowly to spell it out for him, patronizing in her tone. 

"Obviously and I'm very excited. But Pan,"

"Trunks, that wasn't the only problem with the caterer."

"There was something else? I thought you said they were the best." 

"They are the best." She challenged, frowning some more. 

"Then why are they-"

"Are you through questioning me yet?" She interrupted impatiently. "We don't have time to wonder why. We can only deal with what is, not with what could have or should have been. Stay with me, Trunks."

"Baby, you're not in a very good mood…are you?"

"It took you this long to notice? And since when am I 'baby'?"

"You do know we're getting married, right?"

"Isn't that why I'm here - dealing with all this crap?" Trunks sighed, dropping his shoulders and realizing that he wasn't going to win. Finally he shook his head and held out his arms, motioning his hands so that she'd get the hint and come to him. 

"Come here." He spoke as she moved around his desk and was pulled into his arms, onto his lap. "What's wrong? Tell me everything."

"Everything is such a long list."

"I'm all ears." He rubbed her arms and then rested his chin on her shoulder, gently kissing the nape of her neck. "It's not like I have any appointments to make today." He joked, she didn't laugh.

"The caterers screwed up the meal too. The desserts are right, except for the cake, and the sides are perfect. Well, except that there's too much of every side. But the real problem is…" She waited, biting her lip and closing her eyes, apparently from fright. Trunks waited, holding her patiently. "There's no meat. At all. They thought we ordered vegetables-only."

"So…what exactly are they serving, Pan?" 

"Rice, all kinds of rice, carrots, corn, steamed vegetables, salad, squash…"

"I hate squash. And carrots." 

"I know. Listen. Potatoes, tomatoes, um…Vegetables, Trunks. Just no cheese."

"We're getting different caterers." He stated affirmatively. 

"Fine, but where are you going to find them on such short notice?"

"I'm rich, Pan. Anything's possible." Then, after a moment. "_We're _rich, sorry about that."

"I don't want your money Trunks." He laughed, tickling her sides as he shook his head in amusement. 

"What else is wrong?" He was almost afraid to hear the answer. 

"There's seventy-five people invited to this wedding."

"You got my mother to cut down the list that much?" He questioned, astonished by the small list. 

"Trunks, I told her no more than thirty - friends and family included with business partners." Trunks winced, squeezing her sides again. 

"You thought you'd get away with that, Pan?" She stiffened in his arms. 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"One hundred and eighty people were invited to my last wedding." This time Pan winced. 

"What's that got to do with me? Marron is a busy-body."

"She is not, Pan. Be civil, she's your aunt now. It was all mom's doing. All I'm saying is you got off easy, love."

"I don't like when you call me _love_, please stop."

"What's with you attacking everything I say to you? What's wrong Pan?"

"You've asked me that a million times."

"If you'd answer my question-"

"I _am _answering it. You're just not listening. I wanted a small wedding, thirty was my maximum and _your _mother completely disregarded my wishes."

"_Our _mother in two days."

"She'll always be your mother and only your mother."

"Don't forget Bra."

"This is irrelevant, Trunks. Why are you being difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult, you are." He countered, a slight amount of annoyance in his voice when he spoke. 

"I'm trying to tell you what's wrong with me. I keep having to try, with no progress. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll just marry myself." He laughed at that impossible thought, kissing her cheek as she puffed. 

"You're marrying me, stop trying to fight it."

"I don't like you."

"You're still marrying me, so what do I care? Are you going to continue or not?"

"Not if you keep being a jerk." She pouted, poking her lower lip out. He turned her face toward him, capturing her lip between his teeth and lightly biting it. 

"I'm not being a jerk." He teased. Then, "Okay, I'm sorry." When she continued to pout.

"You ought to be," She told him in a warning tone, ignoring his very odd, very playful behavior. "Because I don't know what I'm doing, Trunks. Your mother is impossible and I feel like I'm being invited to this wedding instead of being the one having it. Between my mother and yours I doubt I even have to show up on Monday. They seem to have everything in control."

"What else did they do?" He asked, knowing she was about to fall into another rampage of disasters in a moment. 

"They took my day from me." She pouted and he couldn't help but picture a small child jumping up and down, stomping her feet, as she said it. "This is supposed to be a relaxing time, where I sit back and think about what crap I'm getting myself into. I don't want to have to worry about what our mothers are going to do next." 

"You didn't answer the question."

"You mean, what'd they do?" He nodded. "What didn't they do? I wanted a wedding under the chapel balcony, while the sun was setting, right beneath the trees. I could envision it. And my mother changed it so that we would all be sitting outside, in the daylight, with the sun beaming up ahead and everyone praying to get out of heat. I can see it now." She wrinkled her nose and reclined against him, seeking shelter in his form as she tried not to get hysterical. 

"Pan," He tried, still wanting to be positive about things. "It's not supposed to be hot on Monday, it's supposed to be a little cloudy. You have nothing to worry about."

"Oh no? And how are we going to fit seventy people in the backyard of the little chapel I picked out? Simple, Bulma says, we won't. She changed the location last month, without telling me. I mean, I could be wrong but _I'm _supposed to be getting married, not her!"

"_We're_ getting married Pan. And isn't that all that matters? You and I are going to be married in two days - can't you concentrate on that instead?" She moaned and threw her head down, resting it on his shoulder, right next to his neck. "Okay, I'll bite, what's really wrong?"

"That wasn't enough?" She whispered, her breath slinking across his neck and traveling down his spine. He shivered, involuntarily, and shifted to get comfortable again. 

"Do you know how attractive that is?" He teased, temporarily forgetting that they were dealing with a couple of crises here. She pulled her face up, giving him a quizzical, yet challenging look. 

"Are you telling me that I've just told you all of that and all you can think about is the fact that something I've done is attractive?"

"Well, you are sitting on my lap." He smirked, ignoring the momentary anger that danced in her eyes. "Besides, my thoughts are more pleasant than yours."

"What's wrong with you?" She exploded, jumping up and pushing the palm of her hand into his chest, as if to knock some sense into him. "We're about to be married. Doesn't that concern you? Are you thinking about it _at all_?"

"Pan, how would you like me to answer that question? What am I supposed to be thinking of right now, exactly? Am I behaving in any way that unnerves you?"

"Yes you're behaving in a way that unnerves me. You're calm!" She threw her hands into the air, getting louder and louder the longer she went on. "Aren't you scared? Nervous? Completely, utterly _terrified_?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Or do you even care at all? Is this just another business deal to you? Dende! Who am I kidding? I _am _marrying myself in two days!" 

He was up in less than a second, almost panicked with her mood and not sure how to calm her. He pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist, covering her lips with his out of alarm first and then anger as he gathered everything she'd just said in his mind. 

She backed up a few steps, shocked, and he followed her, their lips never leaving contact. Her eyes popped open immediately, then, as the kiss became less frightened, less panicked, it became more urgent, more demanding. He kept walking forward until her back met with the wall, her hands coming around his neck in an almost desperate grip.

It wasn't clear which one of them regained their senses first, but almost a second later both of them pulled away, Trunks moving back with a confused look on his face, trying to catch his breath. 

"What's wrong with you?" He asked after a second of silence. She closed her eyes and shook her head, frowning deeper than before. 

"What's wrong with _you_?" She challenged. "You weren't supposed to respond that way." She added, as if she were trying to justify her question. 

"You just compared yourself to one of my business contracts, completely exploded, and lost total control of all your good sense in less than a minute. I think you need to answer me first."

"It's been building up for months, Trunks." He opened his mouth, thinking she meant the insults she'd just thrown at him, but shut it when she continued. "All this stress. I don't know what's happening anymore. I always feel like I'm on pins and needles and I just want to…I don't know…break something."

"Or pull someone against a wall and-"

"Hello! _You _pushed _me _against the wall." She adjusted her shirt, pretending to be really upset, and glowered at him. "Can't you even wait two days?"

He laughed lightly, shaking his head at her attempt to be angry. "It's not working Pan, I can see you laughing through your eyes." He smirked and her mean look transformed into one that showed exactly how unsettled she was. "Why do I feel like you still haven't told me what's wrong with you?"

Her breath heaved in and out before she gathered up the strength to answer. "Chi-Chi said, two weeks ago, that she would call off the wedding if I didn't."

"If you didn't what?" He asked, completely missing the point. 

"If I didn't call it off myself Trunks!" She responded, exasperated as she fell against his chest. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, fear lighting, tingling through him as he considered what she had just said. Slowly, very cautiously, he pulled his head back to get a good look at her. He closed his eyes, opened them, closed them again, and asked,

"Well, what did you tell her?"

"I haven't called it off have I?" He sighed, more stressed than he could ever remember being in his life. 

"Why would she say something like that?" He asked, weight to his voice for he feared he knew the answer. 

"She doesn't think you're in love with me." He stepped back, looking at her eyes, his brow wrinkled in confusion. 

"Why wouldn't she?"

"She's may be old but she's not blind." Her tone was flat as she answered, her eyes never meeting his as she spoke.

"Pan, she can't possibly be sure of whether or not I'm in love you. _I'm _not even-"

"Trunks!" There was panic in her voice as she cut him off, her eyes widening like saucers. 

"Yes?" He asked, a little started because he realized what he was about to say. Apparently so had she and, for some reason, it made her uncomfortable. He'd have thought that after all the time she'd spent trying to get him to say those exact words that now, when he was going to, she didn't want to hear them. His face crinkled even more. 

There was an awkward silence that followed, both of them moving farther away from each other as if the physical distance could sever the emotional bond. If he wasn't right next to her then he didn't love her. And if she wasn't next to him there wasn't a possibility that she could be wrong…

"So what do you want to do?" He finally asked. 

"What's to do?" She shook her head, sighing with relief that he had let the other subject die. "Except go through the motions and hope she changes her mind."

"You should have told me this earlier." He frowned as she sat back down in the chair across from his desk. "We could have come up with a better solution."

"You can't fake love Trunks…" There was an uncomfortable laugh that she threw onto the end of her sentence that made him uneasy. He took a seat as well, studying her face, her eyes. Seeing something that confused him to no end - changed his outlook completely. For the first time in his life, ever since he had known her, he felt that _she _just might be uncomfortable with the strength of _his _feelings for _her_. 

"Can't you, Pan?" He questioned automatically, a slightly accusing tone to his voice. The question was left unanswered; he hadn't expected her to respond, but still the silence filled his heart with a sense of foreboding. 

But she loved him, though…Right?

  
***

"I cannot do this!" Was the sullen cry that rose out from a small corner of the dark room. Bra squinted her eyes and she could just barely see the color white moving back and forth across the cold wood floor. She knew that figure was the one that had called out in distress, the girl had been like this for the last half-hour. 

"Pan," Bra spoke, reaching blindly in the darkness, trying to feel her way to the girl. She got there, placing a hand on some part of the white that she could find, keeping the girl in one place. "Just calm down, things will be better after we wait it out."

"Things aren't going to be better." Pan cried, her voice shaky and uneasy. "This is Dende giving me a warning - I'm supposed to be running for cover right now. He's thrown me every hint!"

"You're over-reacting." Bra stated calmly, trying to sooth the girl with her tone. 

"I am not!" Pan screamed. Bra winced, sure the entire chapel had heard the noise. "Bra, the only way Dende could have been more clear is if he had waited until we got to the part about objections and _then_ poured the rain down on us!"

"Pan, it's just a little storm, it'll subside."

"Subside, she says." Pan pulled her body away from Bra's reach, pacing back and forth in the darkness once again. "It'll subside." She snorted. "I've had too many clues Bra. My wedding cake got delivered to someone else, the cake-top couple never got fixed," She paused here, remembering Trunks' sheepish face as he declared that one day they'd find this _funny_. Yeah, funny. Or incredibly depressing, depending on how their marriage held up…_If _they even got married. Right now she was having serious doubts.

"_Then_, to make things worse, I find out that a _million_ people are invited to the wedding - _my_ wedding - where I only wanted thirty to thirty-five. And my mother, my own mother - the backstabber - decides that we're going to have the wedding outside. So Bulma chooses a different chapel and no one tells me!" She took a breath and Bra cut in. 

"Pan, it's not as bad as all that." Bra tried to sooth again, wincing in the dark because it was that bad - it was even worse.

"Oh, no? So what about the fact that the wedding song started to play and then the thunder sounded? Right when I made it outside the rain started to pour! All our guests were soaked and they had to run inside the chapel for comfort. They're _still _wet!"

"Pan, I know but-"

"And _then _we get in here and the lightning strikes, the electricity goes out, and everyone has to sit in the dark while I hyperventilate in the back!" She continued her pacing, fighting the urge to ram her fingers through her already damaged hair. "I'm not getting married. It's clear that I'm not supposed to. I mean, it couldn't get any clearer."

"You _have _to get married, Pan. You're in love with my brother!" This time Bra's own panic button was struck, fright lighting her eyes because she could hear the serious tone to Pan's voice. 

"If I was destined to get married, right now, at this moment in time, the electricity would come back on and we could start - excuse me - _restart _the ceremony. But," She threw her hands up to emphasize the point, though Bra could barely make out any part of her body separately. "As you can see - or maybe you can't see - there are no lights. And everyone's sitting in the dark chapel, freezing and waiting for something to happen. Who's fault is this?" 

"Pan, please calm down." There was exhaustion in Bra's voice as she pleaded, trying to get Pan to think things through logically. "They're trying to do something about the lighting. And, in the meantime, you're supposed to be relaxing." 

"Well, I'm fine. I'm completely relaxed now. I'm not getting married so that solves all my problems, right?"

"Except the one where you break my brother's heart."

"He'll live." Her tone was deadly serious as she responded and it sent chills through Bra's body. The blue-haired girl looked around the room for help, searching for someone - anyone - who could assist her. But there was no one in the room with her except Pan. Everyone else was trying to solve one problem or another so that the ceremony could begin. And it had been Bra's job to keep Pan calm. She was failing horribly.

She heard a scratching sound and felt the drift of a wind before she realized that Pan was actually trying to climb out of the chapel through a window. That's when her eyes bugged and she stopped standing next to the corner, motionless. Her legs started moving before her brain, arms reaching out to grab Pan and pull her back. They both fell in a heap on the floor as Pan glowered down at the blue-haired girl. 

"What's your problem?" Pan questioned moodily.

"You can't just run out on your own wedding, Pan!"

"Try and stop me." Pan challenged, true defiance in her voice. There was a dare there that Bra refused to ignore. Bra grabbed Pan's wrists and pulled them both to a standing position, dragging Pan with all the saiyan strength in her body. She couldn't let Pan get away, her brother would never forgive her. 

"What are you doing?" Pan yelled, anger seeping through her words. 

"Stopping you." Was Bra's answer as she pulled the girl to the door, never loosening her grip on Pan's wrists. Bra adjusted her hands so that both Pan's wrists were in one hand as she opened the door, but as she did so Pan pulled away. Only she used too much force and her body fell, once again, onto the cold floor. She 'umphed' and tried to pick herself up without loosing too much time. But Bra was already yelling by then so Pan stuck her lower lip out and plopped down on the floor, knowing she'd never get away and live it down. 

"Trunks, get your behind back here, _now_!" Bra called, eyes narrowing though she knew her brother couldn't see the threat in the dark, non-existent-lighting. He could hear it and that was good enough. Three people moved at once; Trunks, Gohan, and Bulma, each of them asking Bra the same question: 

"What's wrong now?"

"_Trunks_, I said, Trunks. I only meant Trunks." 

"Is there something wrong with Pan, Bra?" Gohan asked, ignoring Bra's statement.

"Is there something else wrong with the ceremony?" Bulma questioned at nearly the same time, almost frantically. 

"I need to speak with Trunks and it's kind of urgent. You guys have nothing to worry about." She looked at her mother and Gohan, praying to Dende that her words would prove to be true. If Trunks could talk to Pan, maybe put some sense back into her head, then things would be all right and they could just go ahead and get married. 

"What is it Bra?" Trunks asked, ignoring the presence of his mother and soon to be father-in-law. 

"You need to talk to Pan." She spoke softly, hoping the rest of the chapel wasn't listening. 

"We're about to get married, Bra…" Trunks stated, right before Bulma burst in with,

"He can't talk to her _now_. It's bad luck!"

"They've had about all the bad luck they can get…I hope…And if he doesn't talk to her now there might not even be a wedding. So…" Trunks was pushing past her before she even got the last word out of her mouth.

"Pan?" He called gingerly, the words sliding past his lips with urgent tones hidden in the comfort. "What's wrong?" Her back was to him but he could tell she was standing with her arms folded across her chest. She looked beautiful from the back, though her hair was now flat and falling out of the bun - having been previously drenched in rainwater. He had truthfully already seen her from the front as well, when she was walking toward him before said incident with the rain. 

"You're not supposed to see me yet." 

"I can hardly see you." He lied, knowing the dark would help to confirm his falsehood. 

"You've already seen me though." She informed stubbornly, moving further away from him in the dark. 

"You didn't answer my question." He tried to move on to something else as he heard his sister shut the door behind him, leaving him to talk with Pan while shoving the parents away. 

"It's bad luck, you know?" He didn't respond, simply waited patiently for her to continue or answer what he'd asked her. "You know what else is bad luck? To have the wrong couple on the top of your cake." He opened his mouth to interject but she spun around, continuing before he could get the words out. 

"To get drenched in rain before you make it to the other end of the isle." She was ticking things off with her fingers, moving closer to him with each point. "To have your mother change your wedding plans, to have your fiancé's mother change the guest list, to have the wrong food at the reception," She paused for a breath, the events coming so rapidly now she couldn't control her voice level. "To have the electricity go out and have the thunder pounding overhead so that you can't have a wedding outside or in. To know for a fact that your husband-to-be…" 

The rest of her words trailed off because Trunks grabbed her shoulders and shook her roughly, not letting her continue with her ranting. "Pan, I know all this looks bad but-"

"Don't interrupt me Trunks!" She screeched, yanking her arms out of his hold and backing away from him a bit. "I was just getting started. You want to know what's wrong so why don't you shut up and hear it?"

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond to that or not so he shoved his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo and waited to see if she was going to continue.

"Good." She nodded when she observed his silence. "What I want to tell you, and actually, I'm glad your sister called you in here, is that I can't - absolutely can _not _marry you. Not today, not tomorrow, not next month or next year."

His answer both surprised and enraged her. "Well, it's too late for that now. We're here, we're dressed, and we're getting married in a few minutes."

"_No_, we're not. I'm leaving Trunks." She spoke with an indignant air to her voice.

"Pan, I think we've been through this a million times. Give me one good reason I should let you leave." There was exasperation, more than anything, in his tone.

"It's not your option whether I walk out of here or not." She cried, outraged. "You can't make me say 'I do'."

"You just said it." He counted smartly. She sighed loudly, throwing her hands into the air but she didn't bother to respond. "All right, Pan, what do you want me to do? You can't seriously want to walk out on me now." 

"I can seriously want to and I do." She responded stubbornly. 

"You just said it again. Stop teasing me." His voice was so seriously sincere that she took a few moments before she could even think of a response, much less voice it. 

"Trunks," But past that, all words left her. 

"If you really, really want to go Pan, there's nothing I can do to stop you." His voice was lost, resigned as if he'd already fought the battle and couldn't win. 

"Why do you want me to marry you, Trunks?" The thought of hurting him was literally gnawing at her insides. "Why is this so important to you?"

He paused, a crinkled look taking over his brow as she asked her question, hearing the desperation in her voice. She wanted an easy out. She wanted the answer that would make walking out on him weigh less on her conscience. And if she had asked him that question three or four months ago he probably would have given her just that. 

But now was not three months ago and he was not going to make something up to appease her conscience. If she was leaving him - Dende forbid and help control the shivers that traveled up and down his spine from fear at the thought - then she was doing it with the weight of the world on her shoulders. And he was not watching her go without a fight. 

And besides that, could she really not know the reason why even the thought of her not being a part of his life sent a deep ache in the pits of his stomach? Why he would never, ever want to be without her? Did _he _even know? Of course he did, plain and simple. He just didn't want to admit it to himself - but if there was ever a time where he needed to say everything he was feeling, this was it. 

"Because Pan, haven't you discovered this by now? You're everything I have. You mean the absolute world to me, without you I would not only fall apart but I would cease to exist completely. And you act as if you haven't a clue. Pan,"

The panic switch was hit in her head again and she couldn't let him continue. She had walked closer and closer to him throughout the whole speech and when he got to that part she shoved her hands up and interrupted before his voice could reach her ears with his next words. "Trunks!" She swallowed hard, her face paling so noticeably he could see it in the dark. 

"What is it now?" He asked, only concern in his voice.

"I'll marry you, as soon as the lights come back on, just-don't-continue!" Her eyes had bugged, there was terror in her tone, and the last part of each word was enunciated perfectly. He swallowed, not truly understanding what she was asking. 

"You don't want me to say that-"

"No! I-don't-want-you-to-say-it." Her hands had found his shoulders. "I'll marry you, only _if _the next words out of your mouth don't have _anything _to do with me and love. I'll marry you, but you have to promise me that you're not now, nor will you ever be, in love with me."

"I don't understand what you're asking me, Pan." She sighed. 

"It's simple - we're about to make the hugest mistake of our lives here. If you're in love with me we'll only make it worse. I think…maybe this could work, but not if emotions get involved."

"You're in love with me, Pan…Pan?" It was a question at the end, though it had started out as a statement. One that was said with so much confidence it was almost mocking. But she didn't respond for seconds that seemed like years. 

"I don't know what love means Trunks. And, to be honest, neither do you. So, let's just not use that word. Promise me you don't love me." It was his turn to stall. 

Then, after moments of icy silence, a low chuckle filled the air, filled with pure amusement - sadistic joy. "You know what's funny? Those are the same words that pissed you off a few months ago. And on our wedding day you want me to remind you." He couldn't control the laughter, an empty, bitter sound that made it clear he didn't think it was funny. 

"Just say it Trunks. Or help me tell these people this is wrong." 

"If that's what you want." For a minute she wasn't sure if he meant helping her telling her what she wanted to hear and then,

"I don't, nor will I ever, love you Pan." He swallowed the bile rising on the inside of his throat and waited, praying he wouldn't be stricken with the lightning as he spoke the words, his throat choking. "And we don't have to wait until the lights come on, they're getting candlelight right now." He didn't wait for her to respond, simply dropped his shoulders and walked out. 

He hadn't expected this at all…   
  
A/N: So, you thought there would be love professions and stuff, didn't you? ^_^ sorry, did I screw you over? Don't kill me. 


	21. Forever Hold Your Peace

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Especially not the song - If She Would Have Been Faithful by Chicago, submitted to me by **T+P fan** a long while ago. Thanks again! ^_^

A/N: I'm sorry about the delay. I couldn't tell you all the things that happened. But anyway, I've received the inspiration I needed to finish this and it will be done very soon. That wait will _never_ happen again…Opps, you'd think that _I'd _know never to say never. 

-sighs- oh well. 

Forever hold your Peace

The old woman sighed, pulling the pins out of her hair and letting it drop around her shoulders. She watched silently as her grand daughter stepped into the car that would escort her away, a plastered smile on her face, waving at everyone, everything, she was leaving behind. Chi-Chi wasn't sure if her grand daughter knew what she was getting into but what she did know was she couldn't - she wouldn't - make decisions for someone who wouldn't make decisions for themselves.

Maybe Pan was making the biggest mistake of her life. Then, maybe she wasn't.

"Rain on a wedding," She started, giving her son a long, penetrating look. "Tears in the marriage." She shook her head sadly as she walked down the steps of the chapel, finding her own way to their car. 

Everyone else filled out of the chapel in good spirits, slapping each other on the back and letting lovely thoughts brim at the surface of their heads. A couple of women were crying and none seemed to have noticed the bride or groom's jitters beforehand or their pretend laughter after. Well, maybe that was because it was so easy for Pan and Trunks to create the picture perfect couple. Or maybe it was simply because everyone was naïve enough to believe all weddings were happy stories waiting to unravel. Whatever the reason, it was done now and there was nothing left to do but forever hold their peace.

  
***

Trunks sighed, rubbing his hands across his face in agitation. He didn't know what he was going to do, had no clue how to fix this. He groaned inwardly as he looked down at his sleeping bride, thinking about how wonderful she looked. How wonderful she was. And, thinking how he never wanted to be without her. How could he not have known how much she had meant to him? How much she did mean to him? 

It had been a week and they hadn't so much as had a friendly conversation. She wouldn't look him in the eye, she wouldn't touch him or let him touch her. Not even for something so simple as a hug. In fact, the other day when she had walked into the room when he'd just stepped out of the shower, he had a towel on but still, she nearly fainted. He didn't know what they were, but they certainly weren't newlyweds. This was more of a joke than anything else and the sad part was, he deserved every bit of it. He had pushed her this far and he was the only one to blame for the outcome. He wasn't so dumb that he didn't realize things were his fault. 

If he thought things could be amended by sending her a million flowers and whispering how much he loved her every single day, he'd already be doing it. If he thought that he could romance her into forgiving him somehow, woo her into believing he was good for her after all, he'd already be well in the middle of it. But he knew Pan, and he knew better than to think so. 

This was something that required much more than an apology and some diamonds. This was going to take everything that he had in him, if he even could salvage what they had left. And he had every intention of trying, even if what he was trying for turned out to be impossible. He didn't know how he let things get so out of hand. He didn't know how they wound up turning out this way.

No, that wasn't true, he did know how. He had assumed that she would take everything he threw at her and never once complain. It was selfish, he realized now, but it wasn't completely his fault that he'd thought so. She had been accepting everything he did to her, every little thing, no matter how wrong it was, without once turning away from him. He didn't think she had a limit, and even if he did think she had one, he didn't think she'd reach it on their wedding day. But she had.

For as long as he'd known her he had been taking advantage of her, he realized. And she'd let him. From the time, way before all this started, when he'd still considered her nothing more than a friend, all the way to this very moment. In the beginning he'd just been using her adoration to boost him up, feeding on how well she treated him and loving the attention she gave him, excusing himself by calling her his "best friend". 

And then Marron had agreed to marry him and everything was thrown off track. She stopped treating him like a god and more like a man. So he did the unforgivable, he attacked her and made her feel like she was the one who was wrong. Now he understood that that was what his argument with her about telling Gabriel the family secret was, nothing more than punishing her for treating him like a normal person. Someone who had faults. She'd never done that before.

And then he'd ignored her when she needed him the most. When Gabriel died, he had been the only who hadn't sent her some form of comfort. And he'd known, even in his deranged state from missing Marron, that she needed him more than anyone else. He delighted in that fact, fed off it while she suffered. Some where in the soul of him, he'd been thinking that if she had continued to treat him like he was the only one, he wouldn't have had to make her realize for herself. And at the time, he didn't even know what he was doing. Why he was so upset with her.

Then he'd come to her house for Goten's announcement about Marron, and he'd seen the pain written in her eyes. He'd seen how horrible she felt, past the mask that she kept up for everyone. He'd seen only what she let him see. And it tore him up inside, washed guilt over him so quickly that he couldn't stand himself. He couldn't believe what he'd turned into. Couldn't forgive himself, yet she forgave him so easily. But he needed to make it up to her somehow, needed to make her understand how much she meant to him, even though he didn't understand it. So he had done what he'd done, in his office, to reassure himself that he still had a soul somewhere. Only, that had resulted in hurting her more than all the other things combined. Which, in all honesty, had not been his intention. 

It had never been his intention to hurt her. He simply always seemed to find himself the reason for her heartache. And that one incident, unfortunately, had not stopped him from hurting her again. No, then he had gone and asked her to marry him while feeding her the lie that he could never love her, when inside him somewhere he knew that he already did. That he just didn't have the courage to admit it to himself. Or he was too blinded to realize it for what it was. 

At this point, he honestly didn't know anymore. Maybe he hadn't realized that he loved Pan because he'd always loved her. Because he'd never had to be without her and that love had always existed. He had confused what he felt for Marron as something more than it was simply because it had been new, unexpected. His feelings towards her were constantly spiraling, constantly changing. But his feelings for Pan had been stationary, stagnant. Now he realized that he'd never loved Marron.

__

At the time you couldn't tell me that one day I'd be glad that something that I thought was love was misinterpreted … I watch you sleeping- your body touchin' me, there's no doubt about it: this is where I want to be. You know it's so ironic- I had to lose to win. I want to thank her (thank her again)…

Looking down at the sleeping form of this girl, he realized that his heart had never belonged to Marron the way Pan held it now. He had never needed Marron the way he needed Pan. And he was thankful, Dende he was so thankful, that Marron had walked out on him and turned his world upside down. He couldn't imagine how miserable he'd be now if she had decided to squelch her resistance and marry him anyway. He couldn't imagine the color of the hair splayed across this pillow as blonde instead of deep, rich brown. And he couldn't imagine what he'd do if that head of dark brown never forgave him for this. For this one push too many, this straw that did the camel in, the step that marked him out of bounds. His eyes watered just thinking of that possibility. 

If he had stopped hurting her after he asked her to marry him. Or maybe, after she accepted his offer, then things wouldn't be the way they were now. But he hadn't stopped, though it was obvious he'd tried. After her acceptance, the things he did were not nearly as horrible as his previous mistakes, but when you add little things to the big, there doesn't ever seem to be a difference between the two. Especially if the big mistakes were heavy enough, and his certainly were. 

He had started treating her like a girlfriend with that lie hanging over their heads. He had smiled down on her with loving eyes and filled her head with insecurities. If he could look at her like that, if they could get along so well, if he could hold her and talk to her that way, how was it that he could not love her? What was wrong with her? He could hear her thoughts about it now, as though he'd been the one thinking them. And yet, she never said anything. Never protested his actions. Forgave his every mistake. Why was it that he'd had such a wonderful person by his side and he still pushed her until she reached breaking point?

Because he hadn't expected her to break. That was why. He must have thrown salt on her open wounds when she told him that she couldn't marry him, and he told her that she had to. Because she'd known, she had to have known, that was why she said what she did. She'd known that he was going to say she had to, because he loved her. That if she hadn't told him she was walking out on him, he never, ever, would have told her. That he had been aware for quite some time that he was in love with her, but had been keeping it to himself because he'd been too afraid to admit it. While she drowned in insecurities, literally dying inside because she'd deemed herself unlovable, he really did love her and just was too selfish to say it until he benefited from it. 

Everything he'd ever done, concerning her, he'd done without thinking how it would affect her. Without considering her feelings. Every move he made, every step she took. And about to tell her he loved her had not been any different. She must have realized that, must have been thinking about his selfishness much longer than he had, and that was why she told him never to say it. That was why she pushed him away the way she did. And he deserved everything she threw at him.

But he didn't deserve her, he felt that with a certain clarity that pressed down on his chest and weighted him so that he could not move. She was far too good for him. If he wanted to stop hurting her, finally, he could not let this go on the way it had. He had to wake up, so did she. They couldn't keep living in this fantasy world where, if you said not to mention it anymore, it didn't exist. He couldn't let this go on this way. It was now or never, he realized. But he had to do this right. He'd already messed up their wedding. He had to think about _her_ first. That's what love meant, wasn't it?

He thought briefly about waking her, about talking to her now. But he decided against it, knowing that she hadn't been getting much sleep. He didn't know if it was because she was distressed, because of _him_, or if it was because she simply didn't feel comfortable with him being there, in the same bed. She hadn't asked him to leave, he'd even offered to take the couch but she simply shook her head of the notion. They were on their honeymoon, after all. And, she'd said, if anyone happen to realize that he was sleeping on the couch on his honeymoon, his image would never live it down.

That was Pan the Pan he knew, always thinking of the possibilities and putting his needs above hers. Dende he hated what he'd turned her into. If she was angry with him, truly, a soul-scorching angry, she should be able to tell him. To yell at him. To punish him for it. But maybe she'd passed the point of yelling at him, passed the point of being angry with him. That thought scared him more than any other. 

It was the look on her face as he shifted his body heat away from her, the way her brow wrinkled and her lips turned downward, that interrupted his thoughts and stopped him from getting off the bed completely. He did, however, sit up to watch her. He hoped she wasn't about to do it again–but she did; the second he was far enough away from her, the second his body didn't touch hers anywhere, she curled up into fetal position, drawing her eyes closed tighter. He knew what was coming next, what always happened when she thought she was alone. 

He didn't want to watch it happen so he moved back into his spot on the bed. He laid down next to her, pulling her body close to his, wrapping his arms around her as best he could. But it didn't seem to help. She turned from him, trying to draw her body away from his, trying to run from something he could not see. He closed his eyes in frustration, in pain. He hated watching this. 

She drew her body out of his reach violently, shaking now from head to toe. Her face contorted until she looked absolutely horrified, her hair was becoming matted to her forehead very quickly. She'd already broken into a sweat. Her head began to dash back and forth against her pillow, the whimpers finally escaping her lips. 

He wouldn't watch this, he resolved, moving closer and pulling on her body again. He picked her up, her body falling limp against his touch, and pulled her to his chest. He laid her so that she was fully on top of him, her back pressed onto his chest, her body fitting against his perfectly, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He rubbed at her sides, making soothing noises, whispering into her ear. She didn't respond immediately, but after a minute or two, that felt like forever, she stopped shaking. Her head stopped moving from side to side next, and then he felt her relax against him. Her whimpers were the last thing to end. 

She had nightmares. Whenever she thought she was alone, she had nightmares. And not just any kind of nightmare, the kind that trapped you inside. The kind that grabbed your soul and twisted it, that scared you so senseless you couldn't seem to wake up from it. Every time he'd seen it happen, he wondered how long it would take her to wake up. He'd been trying to force himself to wait it out one day to find out, but he couldn't watch her suffer like that.

Yet, he couldn't imagine how she used to sleep at night. This was the only time she'd ever had someone lying next to her that could grab her when she was having them, that could stop them before she woke from them. That was why he wanted to know how long it took her to wake up. What if, though he hated thinking of the possibility, what if she didn't have someone to wake her up from them one day? People had heart-attacks that way, not being able to wake up from horrifying things, people had died that way. 

What if this nightmare thing had just started, this week, and so she had never had to wake her own self up from them? Or, what if Gohan or Videl usually woke her up from them? He couldn't promise to be by her side every second that she was asleep. And he had no clue how bad these things got. She wouldn't talk about them. The first night he'd woken her up because it had scared him so badly, but she wouldn't even acknowledge that she knew what he meant. He didn't know if she was ashamed, being vengeful, or if she simply wasn't even aware that she had them. 

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, shaking her slightly, enough to wake her up. She mumbled her protest as she opened her eyes, looking into his face and scowling, trying to push out of his arms. He wouldn't let her go. She glared at him, he didn't care. 

"You had another one, Pan." He told her simply, his voice hardening even though his crystal eyes betrayed his concern. 

"Another what, Trunks?" She asked, agitated and still trying to push away from him. 

"Nightmare. They're coming quicker now, and getting worse much faster. Please talk to me. Do you remember them? Do you know what you're dreaming about? Have you...have you always had them or--"

"You could try minding your own business sometimes." She interrupted him bitterly. He sighed and buried his head in the nape of her neck. She protested him, of course, by trying to yank her body away from his but he wasn't letting her go. Not this time, not today. 

"Like it or not, you are my business, sweetheart. And when you break into cold sweats, start shivering and whimpering, and looking like Bebi has come back to possess you, I have the right to be worried about you."

"You don't have the right to care about me at all, Trunks. I'm nothing but a contract to you, remember?" He winced, still not moving his head or letting her get up, though she was still trying. 

"Okay," he said after a moment of silence between them. "I deserved that. In fact, I deserve much worse than that. Is there nothing I can do to redeem even a little of the respect you once had for me?" He waited a long time for her response, more than two minutes, he was sure, before he decided she wasn't going to answer. And that mean 'no'. Which meant he was fighting a losing battle, but he refused to walk away before he told her everything. 

"All right, I can't say I'm not hurt, I am, but I also can't say I don't deserve that either. I'm not walking out on you, Pan, you're going to have to kick me out. And then you're going to have to fight me to get me out. I was wrong about so many things, so many things that I'm so tired of being wrong about. And even you have to admit that, at the end, I tried to make things right. I must have tried to tell you how I felt a million times and just could never get the words out. Or you wouldn't let me get the words out. And I'm so sorry, for so many things. But one of those things is not, and never will be, that I married you. No matter how you treat me or how this ends, if it ends. This will always be the best thing I've ever done, I promise you that. 

"I just did it wrong. Went about things the wrong way. For that I am sorry. I never, ever, should have lied to you just to get you to marry me. I never should have told you that I couldn't, that I wouldn't, ever love you." He felt her body tense, knew she was about to say something, about to try and get away, but he wouldn't let her. "Pan, be still. I'm going to say this whether you want to hear it or not so I suggest you stop fighting it." He waited until she was calm before he started again. It took quite a while. 

"Okay. I never should have lied to you. But I also shouldn't have kept the truth from you. I should have told you everyday from the moment I realized it, how much I love you. I should have made you hear it even when you didn't want to. There are a million things I should have done, and a million things I shouldn't have. And I'm so very stupid to just be admitting it. 

If you expect me to live by what I told you before the wedding, then I have to be honest with you. I can't do that. I can't pretend I don't love you–well, no, that's not true. I could pretend I didn't for a time, I've done it before. But I won't pretend. I wouldn't do that again, it hurt too badly the first time, for both of us. So if you're not happy about that then there's only one thing left for you to do. 

If the thought of me loving you, the way I love you now, for the rest of my life makes you so uncomfortable that you feel like you can't stand it, I would never ask you to do something you'd be miserable doing. I know, I asked you to marry me and live with me even though I wouldn't love you, and I knew you'd be miserable about that. But I've already said I made a lot of mistakes." He added before she could bring that particular event up. 

"What I'm saying is, now, I wouldn't ask you to do something that you felt you couldn't be happy doing. I just wish I'd had the courage to tell you that a week ago, instead of waiting until it was already done."

"What are you trying to say, Trunks?" She finally spoke, her body tensed, her voice cracking slightly. He wasn't sure why she sounded so on edge, except maybe she was upset that he had just done what he promised he wouldn't. He'd told her he loved her. He hated that the thought of him loving her made her that uneasy, but he'd brought in on himself. 

"I'm saying that if you can't stand me loving you, and you want to get this marriage annulled, I'd sign the papers without contesting. Because, though it's been a hard lesson for both of us, I finally understand; you can't make someone love you the way you want them to, and you can't stop them from feeling the way they feel. They've got to come to those feelings and conclusions on their own, there is no changing what's real. I'm so sorry I put you through this, sweetheart. I wish, I mean I know it doesn't matter what I wish, but I wish we could just start over. It'd be so simple if I could meet you again and value you the way you were meant to be valued. But I can't. I just hope whoever does meet you the next time, whatever guy is lucky enough to actually make you happy, I hope he always sees you the way I do now." 

Then he loosened his arms, allowing her to move away from him at her desire. Only, she didn't move. She sighed loudly, letting her head drop to rest on his shoulder as she shut her eyes. She looked as though she were fighting something that was very painful inside. He only hoped he hadn't done that to her as well. But, as usual, he knew he had.

"Why is it that we keep having arguments over the same thing, Trunks? Who's supposed to rescue us from ourselves?"

"I guess we're supposed to rescue each other. And we keep going in circles, Pan, because we're both convinced that we're doing the right thing. But we can't get anything right if neither of us thinks we're wrong. All I want to know is if we stand a chance. I want to know if you think we can manage this thing. If you think you can stand me, Pan. Please, tell me if you're leaving me or not."

Of course, she didn't respond to his question. They merely sat there, listening to each other breath until she felt like she was ready to speak to him again. And when she did, it wasn't the answer that he had been expecting. 

"I started having those nightmares after Gabriel died." Her voice was soft, as if she were afraid of what she was about to say. "I don't remember what happens in them, only that they scare me to death. It didn't used to happen every night, only when I was overly stressed. And I always seemed to wake up from them before they got so bad. But I couldn't ever go back to sleep afterwards. I'd tried so many times, believe me. But when you're here, when you're lying next to me, I don't have them any more. Only, when I can't feel you there, when your ki is somewhere else or your body heat not next to mine, I have them worse than ever before. They didn't used to be that bad."

He was quiet for a few seconds, confused as to what she wanted him to say. He didn't know what to say so he remained silent. She started talking again after a minute. 

"I used to see him, you know? When I was all alone, when I was very sad. When I stayed in my room all that time after he died. I used to see him there, as if he were real, smiling down at me. I'd try and talk to him, but he was so distant it was like we were speaking different languages. Do you think I'm crazy, Trunks? Isn't that something crazy people do?"

"No, Pan, it doesn't sound like you're crazy. It sounds like you were lonely, very lonely. And alone too often." Again, he could only blame himself for not coming to see her when she needed him. Her confession made him want to cry. Made him feel like scum. 

"Did you ever see Marron, then? Since you were so lonely?" There was no bite to her tone, only curiosity.

"Sometimes. Sometimes I'd forget I was alone, I was very paranoid. Maybe even on the brink of insanity, now that I think about it. But, I think it had less to do with Marron and more to do with me. I've always been afraid of being alone, you know that. It drives me insane."

"But you didn't try to talk to someone that was dead, though. Did you? No, only I'm crazy enough to do something like that."

"Pan, you were overly stressed. You were taxed and your body simply wasn't able to handle it all, you know that's why things happened that way."

"Yeah? Is that why I let you touch me the way you did in your office? My mind couldn't handle refusing you? Is that why I accepted your proposal even though I knew it would never be enough? Is that why I married you even though I knew you were going to do something like this to me now? Because I'm not crazy? No, Trunks, I have to be." He was too afraid to interrupt her, though he wouldn't dare anyway, because she had given him the courtesy of listening to him while he spilled his heart. So he simply sat, with her wrapped in his arms, as listened. 

"Why do you do this to me? I had finally resolved that you wanted a marriage without love, had finally figured out how I was going to shield my heart and soul against it, and then you go and do something that makes me wish I hadn't hurt you in the first place. I mean, you don't deserve me, Trunks. I know that, the better half of me knows that I've always been too good to you, always let you have your way. But then reason comes into play and it tells me that all this is my fault. That if I hadn't let you have your way, if I hadn't made you who you were today, I wouldn't be dealing with this heartache. That however you are, whatever you've done to me, I deserve it because I've put up with you. I've put up with everything you've thrown at me and left you no choice but to keep dishing the pain.

And just when I resolve that you're the most selfish, most heartless man I've ever met and I shouldn't give you the satisfaction of knowing I love you, you go and say something like that to me and you make me want to cry. You make me start re-evaluating everything in my life, and everything that matters. And I hate you for it." 

He wanted to ask her what this meant. He wanted to turn her around and kiss her, wanted so many things he could not have. Instead he sat, barely allowing himself to breathe for fear that she would realize that he was still sitting there and stop pouring her heart out. But she didn't stop, and she didn't care that he was there listening either, she wanted him to hear it. Every word. 

"I hate you for every time you've made me cry and every time you've made me smile. I hate that you love me, but I'd hate it more if you didn't. I hate that I can't just turn my feelings off, the way I turn off tap water, and then never want you again. I know you're bad for me, have always known that I'd be the one hurt in the long run, but I just couldn't ever say no. How am I supposed to say no now?"

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer, wasn't sure if he could answer. She had turned her face into his neck as she spoke, her breath caressing his neck as she basically told him she loved him still. That she wouldn't leave him now. He would have lost himself in her completely if he hadn't realized that she was also saying that she wanted to leave him, that she simply couldn't. 

"You should conserve your energy, there's no need to hate me for _all_ those things. I hate myself for every time I've made you cry enough for the both of us. And if I thought I could fix your pain by telling you I'll never do it again, I would. Because I mean that with all my heart, but I can't promise it. I learned something very important throughout all this. Never say never. I said I could never love you and here I am. I said I would never lie to, would never hurt you, and here I am." She raised her head to look at him, chocolate eyes pleading with him for the answer to her question. She wanted an easy way out that he refused to give her. He put a hand on her chin, keeping her eyes locked with his as he finished. 

"So I won't tell you that I'll never make you cry again, if given the opportunity, but I will tell you that I won't do it on purpose and I'll always be there to help dry your tears every time I manage to screw something up. And I can't tell you how to leave me, either Pan. In fact, even if I _could _tell you I don't think I would. I love you too much to show you to the door that leads out of my life. If you're going to walk out it will be because you found the knob yourself and turned it. I couldn't live knowing I _assisted_ you in leaving me. I honestly think, if we try, that we can make this work. Sweetheart, I want you," He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, she had shifted her body so that her head could move closer to his, and her lips captured the words before they could flow out of his mouth. 

She kissed him with a fervor he'd never known her to possess before, twisting her body around so that he had better access to her mouth. She opened it without prompting and he did not hesitate in fulfilling her silent request. They dissolved into nothing but lips, hands and body heat as pushed him back against the bed so that she lay on top of him. They separated to catch their breath and Trunks took the opportunity to voice his confusion. But his mouth wasn't working with his brain and what came out was not a question at all. 

"You didn't let me finish my sentence." He informed her with feigned annoyance. 

"I liked your sentence better my way." She smirked, moving her body until she straddled his waist, a playful look in her eyes.

"But all I got out was 'I want you,' you didn't even hear the..." He stopped, smiling slightly as his sentence trailed off. "You know, you're right, I like my sentence better that way too."

"Smart boy," she congratulated teasingly, moving her hands to grab at the bottom of her shirt. He put his hands on hers to stop her, all seriousness coming over his face. 

"Pan, if we do this you can't get it annulled, you know that right?"

"I am aware, Trunks." She tried to swat his hands away, looking slightly annoyed with him. 

"Then that means you don't want to leave me after all?" He sounded very hopeful as he said it, even amusing to his ears. She snorted her response. 

"Oh, no, I still _want_ to leave you. But I never would, we both know it. I'm hopeless when it comes to you." 

"I don't want you to be stuck with me, Pan. I want you to want to be with me." He challenged, his brows furrowing together. 

"Trunks, if I didn't want to be with you more than I wanted to leave you, I'd have already walked out that door. So, would you quit stalling? Do you know how long we've been married for me to still be a virgin?" 

"Seven days, four hours, sweetheart." She laughed because he knew, without pause, right down to the hour. She lifted an eyebrow at him before she shoved his hands away from her, raising her shirt above her head. 

"I still think I should complete my sentence, Miss Impatient."

"It's Mrs. Impatient, to the pot that calls the kettle black, but please, go ahead if you _must_."

"I was going to say," he ignored her biting sarcasm. "That I want you to know how much I love you. How much you mean to me."

"If you really wanted me to know," she challenged, leaning down so that her breath swept across his lower lip as she talked. "You'd show me instead of tell me." Her hands were working the buttons on his cotton shirt as she spoke, ignoring the fact that he was obviously looking for more conversation and less touching from her right now. 

"Pan," He tried again, wanting to make sure that she wasn't about to make a big mistake by rushing into something she didn't want. "Don't you think we should," 

"I think you should help me get these buttons undone and start acting like you know what you're doing here. I'm the virgin, remember?" When her little fingers, scorching hot on his cool skin, ran across his chest that settled matters in his mind. She was right, the shirt had to go. 

There were nearly completely undressed before he paused again. He couldn't help it, he needed to know. "Pan," He stopped her, grabbing hold of her little wrists. "Do you forgive me then?"

"I'd already forgiven you, Trunks." 

"When?" 

"You know when. When I told you about my nightmares, when I stopped fighting your hold on me. You knew then I was going to stay, don't pretend like you didn't."

"It would have been nice to hear you say it." He mumbled, frowning slightly. "Do you love me?" He asked without a moments pause, his breath caught in his throat. 

It would be his payback if she said she didn't. If she said she was just attracted to him and couldn't help herself. It would be exactly what he deserved if she said she couldn't ever feel that way for him again, or if she said she never had. But he honestly didn't know what he would do if she looked him in the eyes and said she didn't know what true love was, therefore could not answer that question.

"Now you ask me this? Now?" She looked down at him, trying to get him to realize how ridiculous his question was, but his facial expression would not ease up. The anxiety that she saw there would not lessen. She sighed dramatically before flipping some hair out of her face. 

"I need to hear you say it first." He nearly pleaded, running his hands up the sides of her stomach as she shivered against his touch. 

"Of course I love you, Trunks. I've always loved you, you stupid idiot."

"That insult was very redundant."

"So, sweetheart, is this conversation." She said 'sweetheart' with a sarcastic tone, mocking the endearment he always used on her. 

"Sometimes it's good to hear things out," She cut him off with a kiss so passionately controlling it let him know, without words, that she was not to be interrupted again. Under no uncertain terms. 

__

If she would have been faithful, if she could have been true, then I would've been cheated; I would never know real love - I would've missed out on you…

A/N: I can't do Review Responses this time - so very sorry. But I'll try to the next time I update. Please review so I can know who's still reading this so that I can know if it's worth continuing. Only two-three more chapters. Maybe not even that much. But this could very well serve as an ending if no one's still interested. Thanks a bunch for sticking with me if you've read this. I owe you so much!


	22. Home, Sweet Home

**Disclaimer**: By now, you all know the drill...

Home, Sweet Home

It wasn't until true personal experience that Pan actually completely understood the meaning of the expression '_the honeymoon is over_'. And it was. It seriously was.

Through no direct fault of Trunks' or Pan's, the second they made it home, things started to slowly fall apart. And it started with a little argument that escalated into a thunderstorm of anger between two married people. The people, however, were not Trunks and Pan.

They had been living in martial bliss for two entire months upon returning from their honeymoon. They hadn't had one serious squabble and hadn't gone one night out of each other's arms. They were in love, blissfully, ignorantly in love. And everybody knew it–Chi-Chi included. The fight had been Goten and Marron's doing. It began when Marron quit her job.

Pan had absolutely no interest in where Marron worked, how she felt lost, or what she wanted to do with her life. Nor was she concerned with Marron's ever changing moods since she'd quit said job and lost her entire sense of self. But, apparently, Goten hadn't gotten the memo the first few times she yelled it at his head. He simply kept talking, whining, complaining, explaining things that Pan really didn't want to know. And she couldn't get him to go away, even though she'd asked him to.

So, regretfully, Marron's problems became Pan's problems because she knew it was the only way she was going to get her uncle to go away. Long story short, Pan had a talk with Marron about the whole thing, who in turn misinterpreted what Pan told her about Goten being upset to mean that Goten had gone complaining about Marron to Pan and wasn't man enough to tell his own wife. Which, truthfully, had not at all been Pan's intention.

Needless to say, with Marron's temper, Marron kicked Goten out of their house. It was no surprise who's doorstep he wound up on. Pan wanted to kick herself for being so stupid. So, Goten, during month three of Pan's marriage, made himself a permanent guest in her house. It was driving her up the wall insane.

He made faces every single time she and Trunks touched. He griped and moaned about how he missed his wife. He was messy, he was annoying, and she was his niece; she had to be nice to him while he was depressed because he would have done the same for her. Though, Trunks had put up some very convincing arguments for why she really should put Goten out on the streets. It was true, if he had nowhere to go, Marron would _have_ to take him back. But she just couldn't bring herself to do that to him. He was the Goten that she'd grown up loving and relying on and she wasn't going to turn her back on him now. Even if it was seriously hindering her more 'intimate' relationship with her husband–Saiyans had ears like hound-dogs and Goten made no bones about complaining.

Pan had, in the end, done the noble thing and told Trunks to grin and bear it. That was, until Marron showed up at the doorstep with a suitcase as well. Pan had to draw the line somewhere and inviting her husbands ex-fiancee to live with them just wasn't her idea of a good time. There was no way, she'd told Trunks, that she was going to allow this to happen. And yet, somehow, it had.

Marron _needed_ a place to stay, they couldn't pay expenses without her job. For some reason, Capsule wasn't even an option and neither was her parents or Chi-Chi. Pan hadn't caught the reason and she couldn't argue with Goten and Trunks and their pleading faces. Though she'd wanted to, rather badly. There was still some unreleased hostility where Marron was concerned, some insecurity, and there was no better time to get over it. So, there she was, living with both her uncle and his wife, even though the wife had dated, slept with, and been engaged to her husband. Now four months into her marriage.

Then, just when Pan thought things weren't going to get any worse, any stranger, a couple of things happened at once. Apparently there was something in the water because three people announced they were pregnant around the same time: Marron, who put that as the reason for her crabby mood and sudden departure from her job; Trunks' secretary, whom Pan had declared 'pretty' in his office right before they got married; and, surprisingly, Bra. Vegita nearly blew his gasket and, almost immediately, Bra was living with Pan, Trunks, Goten, and Marron as well. Then, inevitably, Ubuu moved in as well. Pan was only careful not to drink from any of their glasses, she prayed it wasn't contagious.

There were six people living in the house that Pan suddenly realized she didn't even want anyway. It had been built specifically for Marron, which had slipped Pan's mind completely during her first few months of marriage, but could no longer be ignored. So, right when Trunks was at the end of his tether–he was living with his sister, her boyfriend, and Marron and Goten, after all–Pan suggested something that he couldn't turn down. They planned it carefully for two months and then, one day when all the others were out, they capsuled everything that was important to them, left a note, and got the hell out of Dodge.

It wasn't until Marron had her baby–a little girl named Haven–that something happened that actually made things _bad_. Wasn't until then that Pan understood, fully understood the honeymoon phrase. It was meant to welcome people back to reality, and what she got was a not-so-happy welcome.

Lorraine Henson was dying of cancer.

Gabriel's mother was dying and she hadn't felt it fit to tell Pan and thing about it until time was nearly up.

Pan didn't know how to feel about the discovery immediately. She had stumbled upon the hospital bills for chemotherapy and was shell-shocked. She couldn't think enough to react, didn't know where her emotions were even if she could think. She was hurting but, beyond that, she felt betrayed. Pan had been visiting this woman since Gabriel died, she'd started calling her 'mum' for Dende's sakes, and yet Ms. Henson hadn't felt the need to tell Pan she was _dying_. She was incredulous.

It took two weeks for the shock to wear off and the reality to settle in. Lorraine Henson was like a second mother to Pan, they had gotten through a lot of things by each other's sides and Pan had talked to Gabe's mother when she couldn't talk to her own. Realizing that she was going to die, and not just in the far-away future, but soon, scared the living life out of Pan. It hurt in places she couldn't reach to console herself. It took those two weeks before Pan finally remembered her promise to the woman and came up with a plan to settle things in her mind.

This plan would make her feel better, but after what she and Trunks had just went through, she didn't know how _he'd_ feel about it. Besides, he didn't know Ms. Henson, didn't know that Pan had been visiting the woman. No one knew really, Pan didn't talk about it much. She didn't know why, except that it made her feel better to know that she still had a piece of Gabe that she could touch without anyone else taking it from her. That was how she'd reasoned things in her head. Now, though, for some reason unknown to her, she was very scared of telling Trunks.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Trunks knew nothing about Gabriel's mother.

* * *

Pan had cooked dinner. A very nice dinner from the smell of things. And there were candles lit on the table, incense burning in the living room of their new house...something was up. He could tell instantly that something was wrong and he seriously wasn't in the mood for another 'mishap'. He'd had enough with the pregnancy fiascos. He didn't need another _anybody_ barging in on his happy home. So, what was the matter? Trunks thought wearily as he made his way into the kitchen, shredding work clothing on his way.

She called out to him in a sweet, very endearing voice as he made his way into the kitchen. There was a plastic sort of smile on her face, her fingers twirling around each other nervously. He hated the way this looked already. Obviously she had some sort of announcement or request to make and, sighing, he feared he had a feeling of what this was about. Really, he wasn't in the mood to talk about those types of things tonight. Couldn't this wait until he had a day off? Or at least after a nice, relaxing bath. Preferably with her in it too. He smiled at the thought as he took a seat at the table, lifting a curious, cautious eyebrow.

"Hello to you too, sweetheart." He returned, voice clearly on-edge for what was coming.

"Just relax." She smiled, laughing softly, nervously, as she placed the rest of the food on the table. "There's nothing to get tensed about."

"No?" He questioned teasingly, knowing she wasn't being sincere. She smiled and bit her lip but didn't answer as she took a seat across from him.

"Then," He continued, motioning for her to come and sit with him, not so far away. She rose as he continued talking, settling on his lap nervously. "Look at me and tell me there's not a catch to this meal."

"Well..." She paused, biting down on her lip again with guilty eyes on him. "I'm sorry, okay? You're right, I'm using your stomach to appease your mind before I ask you something."

He chuckled softly, expecting this but not really wanting to delve into it right now. She would be furious with his response and he didn't want to see her furious. He rather liked her when she adored him and doted on him, he'd never get enough of that from her.

"Oh?" He asked with feigned shock. "And what could you possibly want from me that one of your kisses wouldn't secure?" He placed one of his own feather-light kisses against her neck, relishing in her sigh. Maybe he could get her mind off track and post-pone this conversation, he thought wickedly. He continued his ministrations with the hopes that she would be swayed off track.

She wasn't. She pushed him back, slightly annoyed but more sweetly-distracted, as if shooing a field of flies.

"Couldn't we talk about this after dinner?" She asked softly, winding one of her hands up his neck and into his hair softly. So, she had a few cards of her own, he thought with amusement.

"No," He stated firmly, reaching up to draw her hands away from his hair despite the fact that he loved her touch, no matter where it was. "I'd feel better eating if I knew what you wanted from me."

He wouldn't really. He knew he wouldn't because, after she asked and he refused, then she'd be mad at him and they hadn't been mad at each other since they came from their honeymoon. They had been mad at the world, mad at circumstances, but never mad at each other. And now, now she was going to be so furious with him she wouldn't be able to see straight. He only hoped he could talk some logic into her before things got too far out of hand. He had been noticing the effects that this was having on her, again, and he didn't like it. He hated having to worry about her and maybe, just maybe, she would understand that. He prayed silently that she would.

"You know how much I love you?" She asked evasively, extra-sweet about it. "Have I told you today, how much I love you?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, not today, Pan." He decided to play along with her game for a moment as he was truly in no rush to argue. Though he was curious as to exactly how she was going to phrase it, and he was curious to know that she was actually talking about what he thought she was talking about. Even though he was fairly sure, the conformation would be nice.

"Well I should have." She continued, kissing him lightly before pulling back, an even more guilty look on her face. The suspense was killing him; he tried but he couldn't ignore it.

"Pan, tell me what it is you want. Now." His face was set in a hard scowl, letting her know that he was in no mood to be patient any longer. She gave a resigned sigh as she looked into his eyes.

"Okay, but would you please promise me that you'll keep an open mind when I tell you this?" Her question was genuinely pleading and it made him ache to think about what he was going to have to say to her. He closed his eyes tightly and nodded his head before opening them again.

"I've been visiting Gabriel's mother since he died." She blurted, a slight panic visible in her eyes. He was taken aback, confused as to how this had anything to do with anything.

"What?" He asked incredulously, eyes opening a little wider.

"Trunks, remember, I asked you to keep an open mind." She reminded him, a scowl filling her features. She thought he was angry. But that wasn't it at all, he thought. He simply didn't understand what this had to do with anything. This wasn't where he thought this conversation was going to lead. He simply cleared his throat, nodded his head, and waited for her to continue. There was no reason to get worked up yet.

"I'm sorry." He apologized quickly, trying to make it sound very sincere so that she would keep talking. "You've been visiting Gabriel's mother and...?" He urged when she didn't keep talking.

"The first time I visited her we just...I don't know, _clicked_. I mean, she's a wonderful woman. And I promised her that I wouldn't let her die alone, in her house. Gabe was her only family because her and her sister lost contact. And now I'm her only family. But," She paused, closing her eyes as if fighting off a wave of pain. He tightened his arms around her, sensing her uncomfortable composure. There was something wrong, he could feel it.

"But what, Pan?" He asked cautiously.

"She's dying. The doctors give her less than a year to live; she's got cancer." He heard her voice waver at the end and knew that she was hurting. He wrapped his ki around her protectively, softly stroking her with the energy of it. Her head dropped back on his shoulder as she continued, her words whispering softly against his body.

"I love her, Trunks. I mean, I've come to think of her as a second...or third, considering Bulma-San...mother of sorts. You know what I mean? And I know that this is unfair, considering that you never knew Gabriel really well and, until now, you never knew about Ms. Henson either, but..." She stopped again, the words somehow getting caught in her throat.

He stroked her arms to reassure her, squeezing her form softly. "Whatever it is, sweetheart. I'll do anything you ask me to. Just name it. How can I help?"

"I want her to live with us." She finished after a long pause in which he was sure she was done speaking with him. Her breathing had gone so slack he thought she'd fallen asleep until she opened her mouth and whispered her sincerest request. He sighed with relief. Was that all she wanted?

He'd thought it was going to be so much worse than all that.

"Anything else?" He questioned tentatively.

"Isn't that enough?" She joked, even though he could nearly taste her unease.

"Well, not really, Pan. I thought you were about to ask me to fit the world through this door, or something. This is hardly anything for you to be requesting of me. Did you actually think I would say _no_?" He maneuvered their bodies so that he could see her face. Her expression told him that she had. He sighed heavily as he adjusted her so that she could look at him with ease.

"Why did you think I'd say no, love?" He asked gently. He was afraid that she still didn't trust his love for her.

Things had been running smoothly lately, but he still felt like they were walking on eggshells around each other when it came to certain subjects. They didn't talk about before they got married. She didn't let him apologize and she didn't like to dwell on it. He wondered, sometimes, if she had truly ever forgiven him or if she was just ignoring it for convenience. He knew, without a doubt, that she loved him. And trust and love went hand in hand. So he was sure that she understood, on a conscious level, that he would never hurt her purposely now and that he would give his life for the happiness of hers.

But that didn't mean she understood on a subconscious level that everything he did was for her. That every mood he made, he made considering how she would feel. And he didn't blame her if she didn't understand it because, truthfully, he hadn't ever proved it to her. There was never anything to put it to the test. But he wished she understood that she really did mean everything to him.

He waited for her to respond, wondering what would lead her to the conclusion that he would deny her something that was this important to her. Did she think he had no concern for what was important to her?

"Well...Your sister and Marron just..." She started but he drowned her out, a smile in his eyes even though a frown was on his face.

"Ms. Henson isn't pregnant, is she?" He asked with feigned panic, eyes getting wider. She could spot the amusement as she tapped him lightly, frowning.

"So, it's only pregnant women that you're prejudice against, huh?"

"No, just those _two_ pregnant women." He teased, kissing her lightly. "Any others can have free reign." He smirked and she rolled her eyes, looking uncomfortable for second before switching subjects abruptly.

"What did you think I was going to ask you?" She questioned, curiosity in her tone.

He drew in a breath and exhaled deeply, the smile wiping off his face. He knew this was coming. They just couldn't escape the night without an argument after all. Because, once she heard what he thought she was going to bring up, he was sure she'd be as upset as he was originally planning on her being. There was just something very touchy about this subject.

And yet, at the same time, he knew he couldn't lie to her. His honesty meant everything in the world to her, and if he was ever going to fully gain her trust he couldn't ever break it. Especially over something so trivial as to avoid an argument. Especially because he wasn't in the wrong in this, he sincerely believed he wasn't. And it had been bothering him for months upon months, ever since the first time. His father had deliberately defied his express wishes. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Trunks set his jaw, pushing Pan lightly to let her know he wanted her to stand up. She frowned at him, a bit confused, but honored his silent request. She stood, leaning against the table as he came up as well, looking down at her. He wanted his figure to loom over hers a little as he said this: not so set her off, but simply to silently tell her that he was immovable in this and that it was really important to him.

This was how marriage worked, wasn't it? He did something important for her, she did something important for him? Maybe phrasing it like that wouldn't be the best thing. He didn't want her to think that her opinion didn't matter in this, but...Really, he wasn't going to let her argue this. The answer was no and it was set in stone. He wasn't going to change his mind in the least bit.

The question was, should he tell her that?

He took her hands and looked deeply into her eyes, pressing his lips tightly together for a few seconds that seemed an eternity to his young wife. Dende, she was so beautiful looking up at him with those bright, eager brown eyes. The whole world was open for her, he knew, he was only closing one door. But still, the thought of how it would hurt her, hurt him. He might be breaking her heart again and he detested himself for thinking he was still capable.

"Pan," He started slowly, cautiously testing the waters.

"Trunks?" She teased, a small smile pursing her lips. He could read how nervous she was without her having to say it. She was trying to act calm. "What's wrong?"

"I know, Pan." He stated softly, squeezing her hands and waiting for his statement to set in.

First he watched the confusion flit across her eyes as she wrinkled her brow. Then, he studied her as recognition caught on. She knew what he meant now, her face paled. He swallowed hard, dropping her hands and gripping her shoulders to ensure that she wasn't going to faint. He'd never seen her look faint before, but she looked it now.

"You know what, Trunks?" She asked softly, though he knew that she knew they were both clear as to what he knew. He gave her a stern look.

"I hate that you didn't tell me. Did you think I wouldn't find out, Pan?" He paused to let her explain, hoping that she would say something to ease his fears. Something that said she trusted him and would never keep something this important from him. Keep something that was endangering her life, no less, a secret. She only looked down, color flooding her cheeks as she studied the sole of her shoes in silence.

"How long have you known?" She finally questioned, her voice raspy with some fear he couldn't identify.

"A couple of months. I'm not stupid, you know."

"Trunks," She interjected hurriedly, her eyes coming up in frantic motion. "I was going to tell you. I honestly was. I'm so sorry I didn't, I just...I wasn't sure." She stopped abruptly, the sentence left unfinished. He closed his eyes, knowing what was going to happen next, and pulled her into his arms.

"You don't trust me the way you want to. Do you?" He whispered softly, rubbing her black strands of hair caressingly. Her shoulders rose and fell in a jerky motion and he was afraid she was crying. He pushed back to look into her eyes.

She was.

"Pan," He pleaded, wiping her cheeks gently. "Don't cry."

"I don't want you to think I don't trust you." She whispered. "That wasn't it. I was just afraid." She spoke quietly, eyes finding the floor again. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to see if you were going to tell me." He pulled her face up gently with his fingers. "Pan, I was afraid too. You were coming home sick. Your skin's been paler than usual. You don't keep your food down like you used to and your energy is always so drained." He eyed her stonily, letting her know how angry he was that she was gambling with her health like that.

"And I just thought that, surely, you knew I would notice. I thought that you would offer the excuse, but you never did. And that hurt the most." She opened her mouth to respond but he held a hand up to stop her.

"No, Pan, let me finish." He told her pleadingly. She nodded, exhaling deeply as she leaned against the table for support, leaving his arms.

"I hope you understand, sweetheart, that what I'm about to tell you is not because I'm angry. I was a little angry, but–"

"You were angry," She sounded incredulous, and scared, her hands shaking slightly. He noticed her round eyes fill with tears again and thought that she was about to lose it.

If she was reacting this way and he hadn't even told her all of it yet, how would she feel when he finished? She'd be so crushed, so upset. He couldn't do this to her. He sighed, running his hands through his hair distractedly as he thought of how sick she'd been. He couldn't let this go on, he resolved, shaking his head.

"Yes, Pan, I was angry. Anyone would be." He told her clearly, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"How dare you!" She screamed, throwing a hand into his chest out of pure anger. He stepped back, shocked by her outburst.

"Pan...?"

"How _dare_ you? I mean, I know this wasn't exactly what we had planned, but–"

"_What's_ not what we planned, Pan?" He asked slowly, feeling as if they were on completely different brain waves. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"No, no. What are _you_ talking about?" She asked just as cautiously, eyes filled with paranoia.

"I'm talking about you running off to train with my father. Pan," He continued before she could object. "Listen, it's got to stop. You can't keep trying to go Super-Saiyan. It's endangering your life and, frankly, it scares me. I love you and I don't want to see you suffer like that."

To his amazement her mouth dropped open and she started to laugh uncontrollably. He only stood, staring at her as she giggled, wondering why this was funny. He couldn't say he objected to her laughter, he'd thought she'd be so angry she wouldn't be able to see straight. Obviously, she wasn't upset at all. Or else...she had completely lost it and any second now she'd begin to kick his ass and tell him that he couldn't tell her what she could and could not do.

"But, Pan, I want you to understand," He started again as that thought hit him. She was still laughing but he could talk over it. "I'm not saying this because I don't think you can do it. Or because I don't want you to reach that point. It's just that, I'm very concerned for you. And it worries me when you–"

"Trunks, how long did you say you've known about me seeing Vegita?" She questioned, regaining herself and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"A couple of months." He stated dryly, not liking that she was seemingly mocking him for not having figured out sooner or something.

"I started seeing Vegita for training after we got engaged, you know." She teased, lifting an eyebrow with her admission.

"Pan, you didn't."

For a second she was afraid to answer, and bit her lip thoughtfully. He looked angrier than she had ever seen him; and she had seen him pretty angry. She loved the fear that flitted through his eyes, though, for her well-fare. For a few moments, she had thought she'd lost Trunks forever. For a slight, brief moment, she'd thought he was telling her something that was very unforgivable. But now that she knew the truth it was just...funny.

He was concerned that she was killing herself training with Vegita. That was probably the sweetest thing he'd ever said to her. And now she felt horrible for keeping the truth from him. She was going to tell him, honestly, she hadn't ever been afraid of how _he_ would react. It was her reaction that had scared the hell out of her. She feared she wasn't ready for all this.

"I did, Trunks." She countered, jaw set defiantly as her thoughts flew around her head swiftly, making her temples pound in annoyance and tired pain.

"I think I need to sit down," Trunks stated, falling back into his chair. "I'm getting a headache, right here." He pointed to his temples, right where Pan was hurting, and rubbed his head throughly.

"I didn't do it because I wanted to piss you off, Trunks," she continued to explain. "I did it because I needed to. For me. You know?" She paused, walking up to him and placing her hands over his on his head. She began to rub for him as he hands dropped, thinking about what was in front of his face that he didn't even notice.

All this time he'd thought it was Vegita's fault. If she'd known he hadn't a clue, she really would have told him. But she thought it'd be obvious.

"But?" He asked, looking up at her seriously, knowing there was more. "You're not going to stop seeing him, are you?" He asked dejectedly, pushing her hands away.

"Trunks, I..." She couldn't find the words to complete the sentence and, once again, he filled in the blanks of air for her.

"Pan, I'm sorry, but I just can't let this happen. I won't allow you to see him anymore. It's as simple as that. I'm not budging on this. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to fix my plate and have dinner. You can join me when you've calmed down."

Oh, that had done it. Who did he think he was? He couldn't order her around like she was some four year old child that he needed to take care of. Love or no love, she was grown enough to know what was best for her without his interference. It was her body, after all, and her decision. Sure, she had already made her own decision on the matter and, truthfully, they had nothing to talk about because they were in complete agreement on this matter, but...That still did not give him the excuse he needed to push her around. She was her own person, whether he wanted her to be or not.

"You can't tell me what to do, Trunks Vegita Briefs." She gritted out, her tone dangerously calm and soft. He stopped what he was doing, turning his eyes up to her and fixing her with an even glare.

"So we're going to argue about this, after all?" He acknowledged, more to himself than her. Sighing, he threw his hands up in what she counted as complete frustration. "I thought, when you started laughing, that things would be okay."

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, taking a no-nonsense pose as she waited for him to continue on, making it clear that she wasn't going to explain anything. He _couldn't_ tell her what to do. He could ask her nicely, he could tell her his concerns, he could wait and hope she made the right decision for both of them, but he couldn't just say 'yes' or 'no' and expect that to be all.

"We have to come up with logical compromises with each other or this marriage will never work." She told him finally, taking pity when she saw the painful expression of his eyes.

"I'd be willing to compromise a lot of things, Pan, but your health isn't one of them."

"See, there's the problem. It's _my_ health so it isn't your decision." She fired back.

"Would you let me do something that was killing myself?" He countered just as strongly, eyes sharp and harmful.

"No. But I'm not killing myself, you're over-exaggerating."

"Pan, you–"

"Trunks, this is ridiculous." She finally broke, throwing her own hands up at how stupid this situation was. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?" She asked after a second's pause in which he gave her a confused, stunned look.

"Sorry for what, Pan?" He asked, knowing she wasn't apologizing for arguing with him on this particular matter. At least, he didn't think she was. There had to something more than that, he could feel it in the aura around her. Something was wrong...off about her.

"I'm sorry that I led you into a pointless argument. Listen, I just don't like the way you seem to think you can tell me what I'm _allowed_ to do. We can discuss things and you can trust me, but, Trunks, you cannot _order_ me. It's not going to work like that."

He felt throughly admonished. When she put it like that, he felt like he was being a complete ass. She was right, he should have trusted that once he told her his concerns, she'd think on them and adhere them. He should have trusted that she was as considerate of him as he tried to be with her.

"No, no," He started, walking over to her hurriedly. "I'm sorry. You're right." He pulled her close to him, enveloping her in his embrace, kissing her temple softly as he apologized. "Pan," He asked lazily as he pulled his lips away from hers. "Have I told you how much I love you today?"

She giggled a little, shoving him lightly away as her eyes took on a more serious, somber color.

"I wasn't done with my apology." She continued. He nodded for her to keep going. "I'm sorry, also, that I didn't tell you about Vegita and me training with each other. I should have trusted you enough to know that you would understand. I should have allowed you into that aspect of my life. I should be able to share all things with you, you know?" She smiled lightly as she bit her lip, clearly still not finished.

"But?" He asked softly, urging her to continue.

"But, I just couldn't tell you then. Because, you know, it was before we were married. And I was all confused about things. I wish I had opened up to you more." As she admitted it, there was a slightly sad quality to her voice that caused him to stroke her shoulders lovingly before asking,

"Well, why didn't you tell me after?"

She paused before answering, a blush rising up the side of her neck and spreading across her face. When she finally did respond, she didn't say what he thought she would. "I forgot to." Her voice was meek as she made the admission, eyes downcast again.

He pulled his hands away from her body, his entire form tensing as he clenched his fists. How stupid did she think he was? Why would she lie to him like this? A person didn't simply _forget_ to mention something of that magnitude. Had it slipped her mind every time he asked her how her day had gone, what she had done? Had she also 'forgotten' to go see his father behind his back?

He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to be angry, or at least annoyed by her response, but he wasn't. He was only hurt. He looked at her again, realizing that she was staring at him with that same hurt expression she had been wearing earlier, when this whole fight started. As much as he wanted to demand answers from her, those doleful eyes prevented his tongue from lashing out. He could only ask, "How could you forget, Pan?" softly and with a lowered head.

"Trunks," She pleaded softly as he looked up at her, a small smile tripping onto her lips. He frowned in return. "I haven't been training with Vegita since we got married."

His brow wrinkled, shocked. Confused.

"What do you mean, you haven't been training with him?" His voice was rough and angry as he questioned. "So you've been trying to go Super-Saiyan on your own? Pan, how could you?" He all but dared her to come up with a suitable answer for that question.

"I haven't been trying to go Super-Saiyan at all."

He frowned again, running his hands through his hair in exhaustion. How could she tell him that? "Pan," He found his voice, choked and unhappy. "For what it's worth, just don't lie to me." He pleaded. She glowered.

"I'm not lying to you, Trunks. I swear. I haven't been trying to go Super-Saiyan."

"So?" He questioned, as if she were supposed to know what he wanted. When she didn't, he added. "What's the catch? I know there is one."

"What makes you think there's a catch, Trunks?" She laid a gentle hand on his arm.

"I told you, you've been sick. The last time I saw you that kind of sick, you had tried to go Super-Saiyan."

"First of all, I didn't _try_. It just sort of happened. Second–"

"So, _that's_ the catch then? You're not trying, but it's happening anyway? Is that it?" She removed her hand.

"_Second_," She continued, ignoring him. "When was the last time you saw someone, not just me, but someone, as sick as I've been?"

"Well, Bra, but she–"

"And?"

"Marron, but she–"

"Trunks,"

"_Pan_, they were both pregnant at the time."

"Yeah, well, when we were at the old house I remembered not to drink the water, but I forgot about not touching the food..."

A/N: Yes, that's the end of this chapter. Thank you for reading, thank you more for reviewing, and thank you the most for coming back again next time. A couple more chapters, maybe only one more, if I'm lucky, and then that's it.

Once again, long wait, I know. I'm sorry I keep slipping off the face of the earth but I'm so distant from NSN right now, I feel like I'm just putting the finishing touches on someone else's fanfiction. I'll try and get the next update out before Sunday, since I finally got my internet to work properly (took me, like, four months).

So, review and tell me what you thought. Oh, and do me the favor of saying what you'd like best to see from me in the future (as in, other stories, not the rest of NSN). I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

A/N2: I deleted this chapter, with the thought of re-writing it because I didn't like it. I started re-writing it and realized that it was almost the same as this chapter already was. So I'm replacing it now because there's no point in making every re-read something because I made one or two changes to it but nothing major.


	23. Complicating Matters

**Disclaimer**: I don't own it. You know that.

A/N:  
"...did she just update? I thought she was dead!"  
"Nope, just lazy."  
"Oh."

_Warning_: _Kleenex might be needed. Sorry._

Complicating Matters

"How is everything?" Pan was sure her voice relayed her nervousness, but she couldn't help herself, the doctor was still looking grim and she had been here for an hour longer than expected. "Am I okay? Is the baby okay?" She persisted when he didn't answer right away.

Still silence. He looked up at her with somber brown eyes that told her this was something she wasn't going to want to hear. Shaking her head in disbelief, she clutched at her rounded belly in slight distress and shook her head. She had felt the baby moving around minutes before, there couldn't be anything wrong.

"Everything will be fine." He told her quietly, shaking his head to rid her of some of the panic in her eyes. "Calm down. I'm simply want to call your husband back in the room so that we can discuss a couple of matters."

"What matters?" She snapped, not trusting the look that she had seen moments before or the fact that this visit had taken her so long.

This had not been an easy pregnancy. She hadn't thought pregnancies were easy, but she hadn't chalked them up to being this complicated either. Her 'morning sickness' had been extreme, her fatigue even worse, and her mood swings had even made Trunks weary of her at times. She couldn't say she blamed him.

Her ankles were always swollen and no matter how many bananas she consumed, she seemed to always get leg cramps in the middle of the night, right when she had finally managed to go to sleep. Oh, that was another thing, she hadn't been able to fall asleep for the entire night since she told Trunks she was pregnant. It was like admitting it out loud, to her husband, had resulted in all the symptoms swinging into full force.

To make matters worse, they had put her on a diet two months ago, fretting over her blood pressure. It was common, the doctors had assured her, nothing to worry about. But they wanted to make sure that she maintained a normal level because hers was getting a little high and that could lead to troubles later. And that, of course, was just something else that worried her.

Now she was in the doctor's office–they had increased her number of check-ups after that blood pressure issue–and had been in the doctor's office for two hours. Trunks was dying of nervousness and had been asked to take a walk to calm himself down; he was probably more on edge than she was.

He had been a perfect angel throughout the whole thing; he had dealt with her mood changes and her cramps and her swelling without so much as a complaint. At least, not one that she could hear. Her cravings had been outrageous and every time she turned to him with another new want, he had simply done his best to give it to her. When he wasn't there, though Mrs. Henson was living with them now and delighting in helping Pan through the pregnancy anyway that she could, Trunks had hired someone to be on her beck and call.

She had tried to talk him out of it, of course, but he had refused to listen to her. Anything she wanted, he'd told her, he would give her or find somebody that could when he couldn't. The only thing that stopped her arguing was knowing that if someone else were there, Mrs. Henson would not feel responsible for taking care of Pan. Lorraine was sick herself and didn't need to be caring for a pregnant girl to top it off.

The last six months had been filled with nothing but excitement for everyone in the family. Bra and Ubuu had snuck off, days before the baby was due in fact, and gotten married in secret. She had given birth four days later than expected to a boy named Parker. Bulma, of course, had been upset and forced them to redo the wedding thing with the whole family present. It was there that Pan announced she was pregnant for everyone to know, throwing a pointed look at her grandmother that told the woman she was _happy_ about it.

She and ChiChi had been trying to make the best of their relationship but sometimes Pan could still feel the strain. Being pregnant, though, had made things so much easier between the two of them because ChiChi was looking forward to having a house full of children to babysit when the time came. And, Pan suspected ChiChi had always felt the closest to her so she was happy to have a chance to bond over something.

Pan had been getting advice from the women on Saiyan pregnancy and what it was like, wondering if she was supposed to be this drained. Each of them had told her that it had been hard on them, but that they couldn't predict what it would do to her since she was stronger than any woman that had ever before carried a Saiyan child–that they knew of, of course. This, honestly, had sent a shiver of pleasure through Pan that she still got every time she thought about it.

She had not gone through all of that, Pan thought angrily, to be told that there was something wrong now. She was going to get through this. She was eight moths pregnant for heaven's sake, well past the miscarriage stage and she was _supposed_ to be out of danger.

"What matters?" She repeated again, because Dr. Brown was only looking at her and not answering. Perhaps it had only been a second since she'd asked, but that time had ticked by like an eternity.

"Why don't we wait until your husband comes back, Mrs. Briefs. Honestly, it's nothing that can't be resolved easily."

"Then why," but her sentence trailed off as the door swung open and Trunks stepped back into the room. He looked as worried as she felt.

He came towards her instantly, taking the seat next to hers and grabbing her hand, intertwining their fingers in a comforting gesture. "What's wrong?" He questioned her, looking from her to the doctor. "What is it?"

"The both of you are on edge," Dr. Brown told them, a cutting tone to his voice. "Stress isn't good for the baby. I want you to calm down Mrs. Briefs and leaving the worrying to the professions. I mean that," he was giving that stern look again. She nodded, controlled her features, but did not release the breath she was secretly holding in. He hadn't told her anything to relieve her yet.

"Now, I've got the results of your blood test back and it seems that your blood pressure level had exceeded the normal bounds, once again, and gone into dangerous territory."

Both she and Trunks opened their mouths but Dr. Brown held up and hand that told them not to interrupt.

"I'm putting you on bed rest until the baby's born; I'm also going to prescribe methyldopa. It won't harm the baby and it will help to control your blood pressure. My main fear, Mrs. Briefs, is that you'll develop preeclampsia. It's a condition that causes hypertension, water retention, and a possible kidney problem. This concerns me because it leads to premature birth and poor nutrition for the baby."

Pan gasped, covering her mouth as she listened intently, still holding her stomach securely with one hand and Trunks with the other. They were all she had in this world. She wasn't going to lose either one of them.

"Don't worry, we're not going to let that happen. That's why it's imperative that you stay in bed for the next month, Mrs. Briefs, if you get up for anything other than necessity it's possible you could upset the baby. If you don't think you can do that then we'll have to schedule delivery as soon as possible."

"I can do it," Pan replied automatically, looking at Trunks to grasp his reaction.

He looked white around the lips but he was smiling reassuringly at her and rubbing his thumb across her knuckles lovingly. "Of course you can," he told her before looking back at the doctor.

"So, there's no danger then, is there?" Trunks asked as casually as possible, wanting to know exactly where they stood. "As long as she stays in bed, I mean."

"This is still a high-risk pregnancy, Mr. Briefs, don't get me wrong. But most pregnancies are 'high-risk' no matter what we classify them as so, no, I wouldn't worry about anything." He shuffled some of his papers, an indication that he was nearly done with them, and rubbed his hands together, considering his next words carefully. "Just in case, however, I have a neonatologist on call for the next two months."

Trunks, who had sat up in his chair in preparation of leaving, leaned back again. "What," he asked slowly. "Is that?"

"Nothing to worry about, Mr. Briefs, simply a precautionary matter. A neonatologist is a pediatrician that specializes in newborns. She's very good, the best in the hemisphere, in fact, but I doubt we'll need her."

"Then why did you," he stopped himself, feeling the first touches of anger seeping into his body. Why would the doctor call a neona-whatever if they weren't going to need one? If everything was _perfectly fine_? This wasn't good.

Taking a calming breath, he told himself that he needed to stay positive. For Pan's sake. The doctor had already said that stress wasn't good for her. And in her condition...

"Right," he relaxed himself out loud. "Right. Okay, thank you Dr. Brown. Is that all?" His voice betrayed him by shaking the slightest bit. He knew Pan had heard it but she didn't say anything.

"Yes, that will be all for today. You have my number, cell and home, both of you. Feel free to use it anytime."

When the hell did doctors say that, Trunks thought angrily, if not because there was a problem. "Hopefully, we won't need to." He told him tightly, massaging his wife's hand as he helped her out of her chair and toward the door.

They had to be careful from here on out, he realized, or else things would get complicated.

* * *

She hadn't been allowed out of this stupid bed for nine days, besides getting up to go to the bathroom, and even then Trunks had carried her. It was quite embarrassing, in fact, but she would do anything to protect her baby. Even if it meant letting him undress her every time she was ready to take a bath, because he didn't want her to do that kind of thing–it required standing up and moving about. 

Not that she had minded that part too much...

A smile crept onto her face that was wiped off when she felt the stab of pain shooting through her back and all the way up to her temple. She'd had a headache for a month now, more like a migraine, that was not going away. Along with the swelling of her fingers and face and ankles, she had been experiencing a very severe head pain. Dr. Brown had assured her that it was because of her high blood pressure, when she saw him nine days ago. But now the headache had escaped her hand and moved all the way down to her back.

She felt uncomfortable. Her stomach was cramping and no matter how she moved she couldn't get rid of the feeling. Then she realized that her back had been aching for a while and that was the second time today that she'd felt that pain shoot through her body like that.

Something was wrong.

Leaning over, she grabbed the bell that Trunks had equipped her with and gave it a hearty ring. Trunks had gone into the den to get some of his paperwork done so she knew that he would hear her, it was right next to their room.

The cramping chose that minute to get worse, however, and she dropped the bell in pain. Trunks came in a moment later, confusion written all across his face.

"What's wrong?" But taking one look at her, he knew what it was. She was going into labor.

* * *

"You're not in labor Mrs. Briefs." The nurse told her with a grin, looking just as relieved as Trunks felt. Pan only felt confused. 

"What?" She asked, shaking her head at the nurse. "Yes, I am."

"No, you're not. You're not due for another month and you haven't dilated at all. If you want, I can call the doctor in here to check as well."

"No, no," Pan shook it off, feeling dazed. "I'm _not_ in labor?"

"No." The nurse told her again. "It's false labor, actually, and I'm just going to get a shot that will stop the contractions for you. I've read your file," she told her before Pan could interrupt. "I know what medicines you're on and I know this is 'high risk,' don't worry. It's a simple shot and, on the obscure chance that I'm wrong, if you really are in labor the shot should have no effect on you at all.

"It's going to put you to sleep, so you can get some rest, but if you are in labor you'll wake back up. It's a simple as that. Now, let me get the shot so you two can go home." She smiled warmly again and headed out of the room. A minute later she was back with a syringe in hand. She prepared it, then Pan's arm, and shot her with it.

"She should be asleep within the hour. Feel free to call or come back if something goes wrong." She told Trunks before bustling out of the room.

Fifteen minutes later, Trunks was laying Pan in bed before lounging on the ottoman at the foot of the bed. Something didn't feel right and he wanted to be here in case she woke up.

* * *

She felt the pull through her sleep but she fought it, drawing herself deeper into the covers. Everything was hazy around her and she couldn't think, but for some reason she knew she needed to. She needed to open her eyes. 

The dark was encompassing her, though, and she felt so _warm_. Snuggling deeper, she pushed all thoughts away and gave into the comfort of feeling weightless. She was dreaming about floating in a pond, swimming in water. Lots of water. It was everywhere and she felt like she was at the bottom of the ocean.

Her legs were squishing in it. Her body was being rocked by it. She was a feather on the moon. Nothing but air and floating and wetness.

Then she realized what it was.

_She actually was wet_. She couldn't have used the bathroom on herself, she hadn't done that since she was a little girl. But she had been knocked out because of that shot.

That shot!

She needed to wake up. She fought against the darkness and the weightlessness and the water. Pushing herself up, she threw her body from side to side, trying to pull herself out of her dark place. Feeling like a drowning fool, she pulled her body up and pushed away the dark. She felt her eyes opening and realized that Trunks was shaking her.

Looking at him groggily, she tried to mumble that she needed to get up, but no words would come out. She could hear him though, as if he were distant, standing meters away.

"Pan, wake up. Please wake up. You're wet, sweetheart. The bed is soaking. Your water broke,"

_Your water broke_. _Your water broke_.

There was nothing she could do about that, now was there? She wasn't a water-fixer-man, she didn't know how to repair water. It would just have to stay broken, she was sleepy. Couldn't he see she was sleepy?

"Pan, wake up," he continued to plead. "The ambulance is on the way, but I need you to wake up baby,"

_Baby_. There was a baby. She was having a baby. In fact, she was having a baby right now. She had to open her eyes, she _had_ to but she couldn't.

Everything faded out again. She caught snatches. The flashing lights. The noise. Her husband's hands around her face, his kiss on her cheek, his comforting touch. Then voices, foreign voices:

"Don't push, lady, we don't know how to deliver babies."

"Try and wake her up, Sam, will you?"

_Don't push lady_. _Don't push_. She couldn't open her eyes. She was having a baby and she was going to miss it! How the hell was that fair? She was asleep and they were telling her not to push?

"I'm so sorry," this was a feminine voice. She recognized it. She had heard it earlier today. But she couldn't place it. "I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't think you were...You hadn't dilated...I..."

"You said she would wake up!" That one she recognized. _That_ was her husband. "Why the hell can't she wake up?"

_I'm so sorry_. _I didn't think_.

_Your water broke_.

_Don't push_.

_I'm so sorry_.

She was going to die. She was going to be smothered by the dark and the water and the weightlessness. She was going to die and Baby was going to go with her if she didn't wake up.

She couldn't wake up.

"Sleep," she heard her own distorted voice mumble. "Need. Sleep."

Then things were distant again. She understood different things throughout her stages of sleep. There were brighter lights now, and beeping, and voices. She was in the hospital.

"You can't stay in here," one of the voices informed. But she couldn't get her legs to work so she ignored him and kept on sleeping.

"I have to stay with her."

"This is ICU, you have to wait outside. I'm sorry, sir."

_I'm sorry_. _I'm so sorry_.

She was awake enough to realize that Trunks was leaving. His ki was missed when he walked away. She didn't realize her hand was reaching for him until someone forced it down. He was gone.

He wasn't allowed to be here. Now he was missing Baby's birth and so was she. In fact, Baby might miss Baby's birth if Mommy couldn't wake up.

She was going to die.

She caught more snatches. Some beeping had stopped and now there was an incessant screech, a continued beeeeeeppp. She knew what that meant. She couldn't remember. Was she dying? No, she was breathing, she couldn't feel it. Baby. Baby was dying. Heart wasn't beating.

"...can't cut her, it'll be too late for that."

_It'll be too late_. _Too late_.

"She'll have to deliver normally..."

"...how if we can't get her awake?"

"...just have to make her push..."

_Deliver_. _Awake_. _Push_.

Baby was dying. She could feel herself thrashing in her sleep. She could feel them holding her down. She was trying to shake off the darkness, trying to fight it. She just wanted awake. But she couldn't wake up. She heard her own voice, moaning in agony, and thought that she was listening to someone dying in her room. She didn't realize that she was listening to herself.

That was when the light exploded into her vision and the darkness scattered away. Her baby was dying. She wouldn't let her baby die.

"Push Pan." She heard a comforting voice tell her, his soft hands brushing the strands of sweat matted hair on her face. "Just one push, sweetheart."

She knew that voice. She had to catch it. It was going away, moving farther away from her, still chanting for her to push. If she reached out, if she just reached, she could get it. Get him. She pushed herself up, breathing in and out as he coached her, his voice floating all around her.

Fighting, fighting, fighting, she opened her eyes. She had to see him. Gabriel. There was a flutter of brown whizzing by her eyes before he disappeared and his voice left her completely. She gave the final push, heard the constant beep stop, and caught her breath in her throat.

It was quiet.

Then, a minute that seemed like centuries later, she heard the cry from her child that told her something had saved her baby's life. An angel, perhaps. Gabriel, certainly.

Then she laid back and closed her eyes, drifting off again into her unnatural sleep.

* * *

"She's flatlining." Dr. Brown noted urgently. "Get the baby to the neonatologist, now!" He rushed one of the doctors out, pulling up his sleeves. "We've go to stabilize her."

* * *

Trunks was dying in the anticipation. They wouldn't let him in the room. He had tried as many times as he thought he could, without heeding progress, but he couldn't take it any longer. 

His father was pacing the hospital halls, looking as if he were ready to murder someone, he was so nervous. His mother, sister, and Videl were all huddled together, trying to stay calm but crying. ChiChi was sitting on one of the chair and looking almost as nervous as Trunks felt, and everyone kept shooting him sympathetic stares. Goten and Marron were hugging each other for support and he had no one to hold on to. His life was inside that ICU room and that wouldn't let him in there.

Even when they had rushed his child out of the room and into another unit, he was offered very little explanation. The baby was still in danger and, apparently, so was Pan. But they expected the baby to pull through just fine. No mention, however, of the same prognosis for his wife.

He couldn't stay out here! If something were wrong, if she were dying, he _had_ to be with her right now. His body nearly crumbled at the thought but he forced himself to remain calm. They really wouldn't let him inside the room if he lost control. It would get in the way and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to kiss her, to see her, to be with her if something was going to happen.

"Listen," Trunks said, approaching the nurse guarding the door for the fifth time. He had tried explaining that he _had_ to go inside that room but the man seemed unresponsive. "Have you got a wife?" He asked, trying for the empathetic approach.

"No." The male nurse answered dryly.

"Well then you don't know what I'm going through right now, so let me explain it to you. That woman in there is the only thing that keeps me grounded. She's been there for me through every stupid mistake I've ever made in my life, and she's forgiven me for each one of them.

"She's never thrown my past back in my face. She's always been supportive, a friend even when I swore I didn't need one. She's been the person who held me when I cried, who loved me when I had no one else, and who would do anything just to make sure I was happy. _That woman_ would turn down the world if it were a choice between that and me.

"She had been unselfish, right to the very end," his voice cracked a bit when he got to that part, not willing to admit to himself, yet, that this probably was the 'very end'. He knew if she died he'd probably just curl up and follow her.

He couldn't think about that.

"And if you've never had a wife then you've never experienced that kind of love. But I have. And if this is it," his voice cracked again. "Then I'm not going to stand outside this room while she slips from my grasp. I don't give a damn what your policy is, let me make myself perfectly clear, heaven and high waters couldn't keep me away from her when she needs me the most. I've never loved anyone or anything the way I love her; and if it means knocking you out of my way to get in that room, then that's what I'm willing to do."

ChiChi, who had been sitting close enough to hear the entire conversation, felt something within her soul stir in that moment. Hearing the distress in Trunks' voice, the _love_, had reminded her of something she couldn't ignore. Goku would have done that for her, she realized. He would have been that passionate if she were in Pan's place. He wouldn't have wanted to see her hurt or in danger.

He had never stood for anyone placing a risk on her life.

She had been wrong about so many things. Trunks clearly loved his wife with a passion ChiChi couldn't have ever fathomed. And no one deserved to go through this kind of stress or pain.

She got up quietly from her seat and walked around the corner to where Trunks and the male nurse were standing.

"What my grandson means," ChiChi intervened, dropping the 'in-law' for the first time since Pan and Trunks had married. "Is that if you don't let him inside that room, this entire hospital will be so far into a malpractice law suite, by the end of the evening, that even your grandchildren will owe us money. Who, exactly, injected my granddaughter with that shot, anyway?" She added as a 'helpful' reminder.

The nurse swallowed and stepped silently away from the room.

Trunks looked back and ChiChi briefly, telling her 'thank-you' with his eyes.

"You can thank me by telling my granddaughter everything you just told this man. Something tells me she doesn't hear it enough," ChiChi informed gently, thinking, _I certainly didn't_.

* * *

The doctors didn't even look back at him as he stepped into the room. 

"Clear," he heard one of them call as another placed something on her chest and she jolted. Her heart was beating, he realized.

There was blood everywhere. He got slightly queasy, looking around, but shook it off, approaching the bed with caution. They repeated the process two more times before her heart started beating again and Trunks let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Dear Dende.

There really was blood _everywhere_. He swallowed back the bile that had risen in his throat and stood beside the side of her bed, looking down at her with loving eyes. She was beautiful, even covered in sweat and wearing a bloody hospital gown. He only hoped that this wouldn't be the last time he ever saw her breathing.

He didn't even feel the tears rolling down his cheeks until one of them slide into his mouth and rested on his tongue. When had he started crying?

Swallowing, he drew his shoulders back and watched, distressed. They were hooking more machines up to her, but mostly they were backing off.

"What's he doing in here?" He heard someone ask.

"It's all right," someone else intervened.

"No," someone argued. "It isn't."

Trunks couldn't bother to take his eyes off his wife long enough to find out who was saying what.

"Look at them," the same person who had responded the first time answered. "Are _you_ going to tell him to leave?"

There was a ring of silence before Trunks felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not leaving." He whispered hoarsely, sounding sick even to his own ears.

"I wasn't going to ask you to, Mr. Briefs. I've pulled up a chair, is all," Trunks recognized this voice as the one who was defending him; Dr. Brown. "Take a seat."

"How is she?" he asked, his voice still scratchy, not moving.

"If she doesn't wake up in the next hour," Dr. Brown told him seriously, his voice sounding solemn. "I don't know if there's anything we can do."

"Why?"

"The medicine that she was taking along with the shot and her...apparently, her _heritage_, caused a volatile reaction in the blood stream. If she doesn't wake up, she's going to slip into a coma. If that happens, when she starts to have seizures as a result of preeclampsia, there will be nothing we can do to stop them."

"If she does wake up?"

"Then we can flush the medicine out of her system and keep her occupied enough to ward off the seizures. After she's stabilized, she'll be out of danger."

"What are her chances."

There was tense silence.

"We didn't know the medicine would disagree wit her ancestry, Mr. Briefs. There was no way we _could_ know. I'm sorry."

"What are her chances?" He repeated, not paying the rest any attention, his jaws clenched in annoyance. Why couldn't he answer the question?

"It would take a miracle, sir."

Trunks swallowed the lump in his throat and caught himself before he collapsed to his knees. Nodding stiffly, he made his way over the chair and scooted it closer to her bed.

"That'll be all." He told the doctor, who was the only one still in the room.

"There's a grief therapist down the hall, Mr. Briefs, who will be here when you-"

"That will be _all_." He told him thickly, hearing the tears before he tasted them this time.

Trunks leaned over and took Pan's small hand in his own, resting his head on the edge of the bed so that he was just barely touching her. He cried himself hoarse, praying for a miracle. One he needed desperately.

A/N: Yes, that's a cliff-hanger because I'm evil and I enjoy torturing you. If I made you cry, though, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, also, that it took me _so long_ to update. I should finish the rest of this scene tonight and then the epilogue, and you should be set–before the beginning of next year. I'm not telling how it ends though. evil laughter

Review or I might _forget_ to update with the rest...-cough- I wouldn't do that...-cough-


	24. Conclusion and Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, all right, get off my back!

He was hurting. He was hurting and she couldn't reach out to him, hold him. She had tried. When he came in, holding on to her, crying against her stomach, she had tried to pet him. She had felt at ease when she felt his hand cupping her own, massaging her skin. But now she felt like a tsunami was wreaking through her body, trying to push her back to consciousness, making her fight against the darkness again.

She had to tell him something but she couldn't remember what. It was important, too.

You can't die yet. She heard someone command of her, using a voice that wasn't a voice. It was the same someone who had told her to push. He was still here, somewhere, keeping her alive. _Your adventure isn't over; Pan, he needs you. They _both_ need you_.

She heard someone command of her, using a voice that wasn't a voice. It was the same someone who had told her to push. He was still here, somewhere, keeping her alive. both. 

Oh, yeah. Baby was born. And he was okay. He was going to make it all right. But Trunks wasn't, she realized with a wrinkle to her brow. He was dying with her. He had already promised he would. No, Baby needed someone.

Her eyes pushed open almost of their own accord and she regained her focus in a matter of seconds. Her throat felt as if she had swallowed a bag of sand, but she forced herself to speak anyway. It was important.

He hadn't seen her open her eyes yet. "Not your fault," she managed, before closing her eyes again.

"Don't go back to sleep, Pan." She heard the catch in his voice, felt his hand leave hers and knew he was fumbling for the button to call the nurse.

"Not sleepy." She managed. "Just tired."

"Oh, thank you," she heard him triumph. Then she felt his lips as they kissed her face, all over. She forced her own lips to smile, wishing she could return the affection.

"Love you." She mumbled, before the room was bustling again with voices and important sounds.

Everyone was in the room, it seemed, marveling over the fact that she hadn't simply rolled over and died. There were people from all directions, in white coats, checking her vitals and looking at her as if she were a very interesting science experiment.

"She's going to be okay," Dr. Brown pronounced, fifteen minutes later as he came back in the room with her blood test results. "She seems to be making a full recovery and the toxins have been flushed out of her bloodstream. Wonderful news, Mr. Briefs."

"And the baby?" Pan questioned, her voice still hoarse and rough.

"He's fine as well." Dr. Brown informed, stepping aside as a nurse brought the baby into the room. She walked up to Pan and placed the squirming infant in Pan's awaiting arms.

Pan's breath caught, holding the little boy–_her_ little boy–in her arms. He was gorgeous and she knew that she was alive because of him. Because of him and his father, her little family.

Grinning, she looked up at Trunks and made her request, the thought that had brought her out of her troubled, captivating sleep: "I want to name him Gabriel."

Trunks smiled, no trace of jealousy on his face. "Like your fiancé?"

"Like the angel," she corrected him, realizing that it had been Gabriel's voice that had brought her out of the darkness. In some unexplainable way, he had saved her life.

The look on Trunks' face told Pan that he wasn't going to argue with her about this.

"Gabriel it is."

**Epilogue**

"You have to close your eyes or it's not the same," Pan informed the little boy, giggling as she spun him around.

"Mommy," Gabriel laughed, titling his head back as the wind danced through his maroon curls.

Pan's heart welded with pride and adoration for the little boy spinning around in her arms. She felt this way every time he called her _mommy_. She paused for a break and felt warm arms snake around her waist to wrap both her and Gabriel in a bear hug.

"Daddy!" Gabe screamed, the smile that overtook his face one worth living the rest of your life for, just to see it again.

Trunks picked the both of them off the ground, spinning them in his arms with superhuman speed. "It's more fun making the wind keep up with you," Trunks told him, keeping a firm grip on the two things he loved most in the world.

If this wasn't heaven, it was so close he couldn't tell the difference and, honestly, he never wanted to.

A/N: That's all folks. Leave a review if you please.

A/N 2: Kudos to Dark Anjel for correcting my spelling of "Gabriel," I was having a dumb moment. I kind of rushed this chapter together. Thanks for all of you who have reviewed so far! You've made my week. And, yes, it's really over. Sorry.


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